Question for restaurant servers.

I tried to be a server. For 3 whole weeks. Lemme tell ya, it's not easy. I simply couldn't handle the low pay, crappy hours and consistent demand from customers. I've worked retail and fast food...but serving is a whole other animal. Never again!!

I simply can't fathom why people want that sort of job for any sustainable time period. I get better pay and treatment now at Pizza Hut. :laugh:

Nevertheless, I tip based on the kindness and attentiveness of the server. If you're rude, I have zero compassion for you. You're in a customer service position. No matter how tired you are or how much you deal with, it's the job you chose and you should act accordingly.

And can I jump on the WTF bandwagon with customer poisoning? SERIOUSLY? I've had plenty of rude customers, but there's a LINE and you DO NOT cross it.

@GetSoda ....You should go walk a mile in a servers shoes and see if you're still a pompous jerk to food service people. You are the customer that servers hate. Don't be surprised if someone messes with your food; I'm just saying

Oh and by the way...most servers dont complain about their jobs. They take crap like yours with a smile and move on. But also remember that most servers are college students putting themselves into the better jobs like being a doctor, lawyer, etc. So A holes like you are just a blip on the radar as they move on to bigger and better things. It isn't asking a lot to have some human decency, and not make their day any more stressful. You wouldn't want your customers, patients, clients, etc to make your day a living hell...

I'm terribly sorry that you weren't able to understand my posts and have somehow been pushed into a tangent. But, perhaps I've missed something. What behavior have I indicated that 'makes their lives more stressful?' Is it sitting quietly and waiting 5-8 minutes for a refill while my food gets cold? Or maybe when I occasionally wave a server down and ask for a soda?
Or am I a jerk because the server disappears for up to 15 minutes in a non-busy restaurant, and I have to hunt down the kitchen to get something to drink?

Maybe it's that time I tipped the waitress 100% that left the pitcher for me. That was probably stressful to figure out on her taxes.

Or do you mean the three cent tip for the waiter at the empty restaurant that dropped the food off and completely vanished? I'm afraid that was fully justified. No service, no tip.

Jeesh whatever happened to the customer is always right? There must be a reason I am pretty good at sales because that's always been my mantra even as a professional it's still my mantra. I'd never argue with a person I am providing service. Do I get pissed when they act like total azzhats? Sure but I vent later. I'll keep a smile on my face and say yes ma'am I understand sir I hear what you are saying let me look into that. I'm sorry you have experienced this negative experience. IDK guess it went out with the golden rule.

You must be a special and magical snowflake.

i dunno, i tip based on accommodating service. bringing me hot sauce...and.....not touching my fiance on the arm.

that's a weird thing to base you're restaurant experience on why the **** would Big Mac the burger chef be touching you're fiancé s arm

But does it make me a pompous a-hole to only tip $4.50 on a $30 bill instead of $7 because I was thirsty the whole time? I'd like to think not.

Nope that's more generous than me. $30 is $6 for me, unless exceptional service, and for really poor service in a non busy restaurant $3 maybe $2 depending on the circumstance. Now if it's exceptional I would have tipped $10.

Of course my BF usually is paying the bill and he's more generous than I like to be.

I tried to be a server. For 3 whole weeks. Lemme tell ya, it's not easy. I simply couldn't handle the low pay, crappy hours and consistent demand from customers. I've worked retail and fast food...but serving is a whole other animal. Never again!!

I simply can't fathom why people want that sort of job for any sustainable time period. I get better pay and treatment now at Pizza Hut. :laugh:

Nevertheless, I tip based on the kindness and attentiveness of the server. If you're rude, I have zero compassion for you. You're in a customer service position. No matter how tired you are or how much you deal with, it's the job you chose and you should act accordingly.

And can I jump on the WTF bandwagon with customer poisoning? SERIOUSLY? I've had plenty of rude customers, but there's a LINE and you DO NOT cross it.

Yes I've also done retail, fast food and worked as a phone operator- waitressing is the worst. Fortunately I've got one foot out the door so I'm almost done with it.

I don't go out of my way to give lousy service, which seems to be what everyone is screaming about? I'm usually running around like a nut, very polite and trying my best to keep on top of things. And I'm not denying that lousy servers exist they do. But there are MANY people who are under the impression that they are the only people there. Their butt will barely hit the seat and they're pissed because the waitress hasn't magically appeared in front of them yet, or they're in a super hurry and instead of going to a fast food place go to a sit down restaurant and then get pissed at the server because their food wasn't cooked immediately. These are the people who get poor treatment. And they should.

As far as the putting stuff in food thing I'm amazed how many people are surprised by this. It's definitely nothing new, been going on for years. When I was growing up it was common knowledge not to be a jerk to people who handle your food.

While I rarely ever had to wait more than a few minutes for a refill, I also had a hard time understanding why a server missed my empty glass more than once, until one day I got laid off from my career job and had to take a job as a server to pay the bills after no other jobs turned up.

Read all the way to the bottom before you decide to craft a response. This is just my point-of-view as a server, and I happen to share it with just about every server in my restaurant:

When you're waiting on 7 tables at a time, and your short-term memory is filled up with 9 different dressings/sauces, 4 bottles of ketchup, 3 alcohol orders, 2 carry-out boxes, requested by all those tables, plus you've got to remember to go to the kitchen and pick up that steak that you had up-cooked, and make three desserts, all while every table you pass (including those not your own) is piling on additional requests, sometimes minute things like a customer's 73rd soda refill get put on the back burner. How do you drink that much soda anyway?

I find it so rude when guests suck down soda after soda and expect us to be there right then and there to refill it. In fact, most servers are more likely to ignore you when you do this because it is so rude. We simply have better things to do than stand at the end of your table and keep a constant eye on your drink. Maybe you don't drink your sodas super fast, but...

...you do by your own admission sit there and keep your mouth shut and (probably) have a scowl on your face. Believe me, we notice that, and we find it to be rude, pretentious, and conceited, and that attitude also will make it more likely for us to ignore you. I have encountered people like this before (usually the same people that silently point to the menu item they want), and literally have intentionally walked by their empty-glass-shoved-to-the-edge-of-the-table over and over until they open their mouth and ask. What a novel idea! Communication! I then smile and tell them I would be happy to refill it for them and then proceed to do so. Fortunately, people like that are more the exception than the norm.

Normal, courteous guests who don't act like a spoiled child when their glass is empty will 9/10 times have it taken care of immediately. You see we do this because people who act normal and are courteous to us generally will tip us appropriately (and often way over the standard 18-20%). It's just more pleasurable, more profitable, and less stressful to spend our time taking care of those guests, while it's generally much less worth our time to take care of rude, snooty tables that (almost always) tip like crap and waste our time. Unfortunately the industry decided (with the blessing of Congress) that rather than our employer, you, the patron pays us. So if a rude table is going to run us around and around while other guests are waiting to order, get their food, pay their bill etc., they are wasting our time, and time is very much money in this business: the likelihood of a table like that giving a proper tip is very low and if they're wasting our time, they're taking away quality service from other tables that are likely to tip properly.

I got way off-tangent there, but it all ties back into each other. If you find this happening to you a lot, maybe you need to examine how YOU are acting as a customer. It is a two-way street. I mean this next part sincerely and not as a cranky server -- next time you go out, try the following: don't suck down your drinks so fast (depending on amount of ice and glass size, if you have more than 4-5 refills over the course of about an hour you are drinking too fast...seriously, that's a soda every 15 minutes!); if it's really busy in the dining room and you can see the server is running around like a madman, just be patient, don't get upset, and see if she refills it after things cool down for a minute...chances are she probably will. If she doesn't, politely get her attention next time you see her and ask her for a refill...I bet she'll get it done for you right away. If a restaurant is totally dead and you're absolutely sure it's maybe you and one or two other tables in that section, and the server has missed your empty drink (1/3 full or less) more than maybe twice, they either are really bad at their job (those do exist), they're relatively new (it took me a couple months to fully get in the habit of checking for empty glasses every time), or they don't like you or don't expect a tip from you. Regardless, just ask, and they'll likely be happy to oblige.

All that being said, I will always treat and speak to every table with complete respect and sincerity, regardless of how they treat me. Sure, if you're rude, I might prioritize you lower on my list of tables in terms of how quick I get things for you (within reason...I never take absurdly long to do anything for anyone unless it's a rare honest-to-goodness forgetful mistake). But I will always speak to you politely and treat you with dignity. If your server treats you with respect and is not a total #@^%, and the service is at least reasonable (you don't know all the circumstances that lead to slow or poor service...believe it or not most of it is not the server's fault), you should always tip 18-20% because that tip is what pays for that server's rent, bills, doctor's visit, food, baby formula, etc. If it wasn't for tip wages, your meal would cost 30-40% more and your service would be unimaginably and consistently horrible. It's a factored cost of going out, and if you can't afford the tip, you can't afford to eat out.

Don't take what I said the wrong way. I'm not trying to be a prick or say you're wrong or that I'm right. I just hope it sheds some light on things from our end. I had to actually work as a server before I fully understood it...hopefully you'll take what I said for what it's worth and hopefully you'll be more patient and understanding next time you eat out. It will make the experience better, I promise!

While I rarely ever had to wait more than a few minutes for a refill, I also had a hard time understanding why a server missed my empty glass more than once, until one day I got laid off from my career job and had to take a job as a server to pay the bills after no other jobs turned up.

Read all the way to the bottom before you decide to craft a response. This is just my point-of-view as a server, and I happen to share it with just about every server in my restaurant:

Hi I thought your response was eloquently crafted and well thought out. I imagine you are the server who does on average get more than 20% tips I would hope so you seem to know how to treat your customers. When I go out and it's a hot day or we've been hiking I let the server know that I'm very thirsty and will probably need extra water refills so yes communication is key server will usually let me have a pitcher and I tip above 20% I still think that although the job is hard you don't take it out on your customers and treating people with kindness and a smile is key as you seem to also say. Are you still serving or has your career picked up?

Many years ago I was a server. I was always on top of refills, I think partly because I hated waiting for my diet coke to get refilled. But give me a rude customer, they can sit forever and if I did bring them a refill after the were grumpy, I would oh so drop the tip of a dirty towel in it, smile and say enjoy. Be nice to your server, or dine at fast food places. Yes, you can get really bad service. If so, don't tip. TIPS... To insure prompt service

Yea...that's a pretty crappy thing to do to someone. If someone is rude, sorry, that doesn't give you a green light to introduce potentially damaging materials/bacteria etc.. into their meal.

You should honestly be ashamed of yourself for ever doing something like that. It's not cool when people are rude, but you should never put their health at risk because of it.

It seems to me to be common sense not to be a d-bag to the people who handle your food.

It seems to me if you go somewhere to eat, there should be no chance someone is going to contaminate what you ingest for their own amusement, regardless.

Don't be an *kitten* and there will be no chance of it. Pretty simple.

You don't treat the people who bring you food like dirt. God knows what goes on behind the kitchen doors. The amount of self entitlement I have seen from people who feel that they have the right to treat people who work in customer service like crap is mind boggling.

I think everyone should work retail or in food service for a year just to learn a little humanity.

^THIS!!

Walk in their shoes.

Many years ago I was a server. I was always on top of refills, I think partly because I hated waiting for my diet coke to get refilled. But give me a rude customer, they can sit forever and if I did bring them a refill after the were grumpy, I would oh so drop the tip of a dirty towel in it, smile and say enjoy. Be nice to your server, or dine at fast food places. Yes, you can get really bad service. If so, don't tip. TIPS... To insure prompt service

Yea...that's a pretty crappy thing to do to someone. If someone is rude, sorry, that doesn't give you a green light to introduce potentially damaging materials/bacteria etc.. into their meal.

You should honestly be ashamed of yourself for ever doing something like that. It's not cool when people are rude, but you should never put their health at risk because of it.

It seems to me to be common sense not to be a d-bag to the people who handle your food.

It seems to me if you go somewhere to eat, there should be no chance someone is going to contaminate what you ingest for their own amusement, regardless.

Don't be an *kitten* and there will be no chance of it. Pretty simple.

You don't treat the people who bring you food like dirt. God knows what goes on behind the kitchen doors. The amount of self entitlement I have seen from people who feel that they have the right to treat people who work in customer service like crap is mind boggling.

I think everyone should work retail or in food service for a year just to learn a little humanity.

^THIS!!

Walk in their shoes.

This is way to funny. I already said I was kidding, people need to calm down. I have seen a lot happen in food service, guys putting rolls down their pants to serve to a rude customer, all kinds of stuff. But really I was kidding about the towel in the soda. The people who complain about their drinks not being refilled need to walk a day in a servers shoes. You really think that 3 bucks you are leaving makes up for all the crap they have to put up with. I was a great server! But I saw many struggle, give them a break and just ask for a refill if needed. Once again, I did not out a towel in someones soda. lol Too funny!