How to Feed My 4 Year Old Dessert?
Replies
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I don't let my kids have dessert if they don't eat their dinner because otherwise they would skip dinner in favor of dessert. I also don't force feed them either if there are foods they truly don't like or they are actually full (been there as a child). I do listen to them and try to serve the quantities and foods they like, and encourage them to try new things. Parenting is about balance and not going to either extreme, imo.
Completely agree.0 -
We don't really do desserts at my house at all. I want my son (almost age 4) to eat because a) he's hungry; b) he likes his food; and c) because it's what's being served -- with no other incentive. I don't deny him sweets entirely -- sometimes he gets juice pops, graham crackers, and when I am feeling extra indulgent a chocolate chip cookie or pudding. I like the idea of everything in moderation (for him; obviously I struggled with it which is why I am here!). He does eat a good amount of fruit throughout the day and is currently in the throes of an apple juice fancy.
The thing is... I see how he is with sweets. He wants more and more and MORE and starts to focus on wanting sweet and sugary things all the time. I feel like the "sweets" thing can be a trap.
And remember that if dinner has a lot of carbs, that converts to sugar too. I don't need him bouncing off the walls until 10:00 (2 hours past bedtime) because he had too much carbs, then sugar.
Why not give her the Fiber 1 bar for breakfast, or for a mid-morning snack instead? I like how the OP thinks though -- the liberal attitude toward eating sounds positive to me.0 -
I know my parents were like that i once tossed my green beans my step dad made me eat them out of the garbage i was tramatised for awhile.
Wow, I can imagine!I have issue not wanting to toss food or have left overs. As for your daughter make dessert something healthier like make some pudding that has an avacado base you dont taste the avacado but its there hide the good stuff in tasty things until she is able to eat more. Kids tummys are tiny!
Oh, we have NO issues with avocados at our house. She could eat one all by herself at the age of 2!0 -
I think the most disturbing part of this post was that your daughter considers a 'Fiber One' bar to be dessert.
^ This. I will never understand parents who don't let their kids have real dessert. It's about portion control and moderation, not cutting out all the joy out of life. Hell, I ate a Krispy Kreme donut this morning between squat sets. That was just "energy." Dessert is later. :bigsmile:0 -
me three, I mean dessert to me is cookie, pie, pudding, cake....damn now I want cakeI think the most disturbing part of this post was that your daughter considers a 'Fiber One' bar to be dessert.
^this....and I love those things as snacks but it is still really disturbing
Oh well your idea of dessert is totally corrrect and no one else's is. :huh:
When I was young dessert would typically be things that other people don't consider proper dessert, tapioca, stewed apple, rhubarb, stuff some kids would turn their noses up at I'm sure and we didn't get it every day or even every week. Kids don't NEED dessert, why bother with it?! It's not a necessary part of dinner.0 -
I think the most disturbing part of this post was that your daughter considers a 'Fiber One' bar to be dessert.
:laugh:0 -
I know my parents were like that i once tossed my green beans my step dad made me eat them out of the garbage i was tramatised for awhile. I have issue not wanting to toss food or have left overs. As for your daughter make dessert something healthier like make some pudding that has an avacado base you dont taste the avacado but its there hide the good stuff in tasty things until she is able to eat more. Kids tummys are tiny!
I was also forced to eat out of the garbage. And to eat until I was in severe pain and threw up. I was not a dramatic kid. I was also forced to eat even when I said I was getting sick and then ended up with food poisoning. My brother was forced to eat foods that he ended up having an allergic reaction to, then threw up, then made to clean it up (he was 5). Sat in front of my food for most of the night and then served it for breakfast. It created a lot of anxiety. But, those were minor issues in comparison to the abuse I grew up with. And I can tell you this, the food stuff taught me a lot about not getting help for the abuse I was going through. It was just one more extension of being taught that adults force things on kids and kids put up with it, and don't complain (tell).0 -
Fruits should be her dessert, not a processed food bar.
If she eats her veggies, she could be allowed to get a " dessert" but you need to teach her that a dessert is NOT mandatory after a meal.0 -
I think the most disturbing part of this post was that your daughter considers a 'Fiber One' bar to be dessert.
^ This. I will never understand parents who don't let their kids have real dessert. It's about portion control and moderation, not cutting out all the joy out of life. Hell, I ate a Krispy Kreme donut this morning between squat sets. That was just "energy." Dessert is later. :bigsmile:
I understand that Fiber One bars aren't really appetizing for many people, but the chocolate ones have only 10 Calories more than one of my favorite cookies and enough fiber to help keep things, uh, moving?0 -
I think the most disturbing part of this post was that your daughter considers a 'Fiber One' bar to be dessert.
^ This. I will never understand parents who don't let their kids have real dessert. It's about portion control and moderation, not cutting out all the joy out of life. Hell, I ate a Krispy Kreme donut this morning between squat sets. That was just "energy." Dessert is later. :bigsmile:
I wouldn't feed a 4 year old a Krispy Kreme doughut.0 -
I think the most disturbing part of this post was that your daughter considers a 'Fiber One' bar to be dessert.
^ This. I will never understand parents who don't let their kids have real dessert. It's about portion control and moderation, not cutting out all the joy out of life. Hell, I ate a Krispy Kreme donut this morning between squat sets. That was just "energy." Dessert is later. :bigsmile:
I understand that Fiber One bars aren't really appetizing for many people, but the chocolate ones have only 10 Calories more than one of my favorite cookies and enough fiber to help keep things, uh, moving?
Your children have constipation issues? If that's the case then perhaps they aren't eating enough vegetables, fruit and whole grains, and dessert isn't the issue.0 -
I know my parents were like that i once tossed my green beans my step dad made me eat them out of the garbage i was tramatised for awhile. I have issue not wanting to toss food or have left overs. As for your daughter make dessert something healthier like make some pudding that has an avacado base you dont taste the avacado but its there hide the good stuff in tasty things until she is able to eat more. Kids tummys are tiny!
I was also forced to eat out of the garbage. And to eat until I was in severe pain and threw up. I was not a dramatic kid. I was also forced to eat even when I said I was getting sick and then ended up with food poisoning. My brother was forced to eat foods that he ended up having an allergic reaction to, then threw up, then made to clean it up (he was 5). Sat in front of my food for most of the night and then served it for breakfast. It created a lot of anxiety. But, those were minor issues in comparison to the abuse I grew up with. And I can tell you this, the food stuff taught me a lot about not getting help for the abuse I was going through. It was just one more extension of being taught that adults force things on kids and kids put up with it, and don't complain (tell).
I dont think my parents were trying to be abusive but damn thats stupid isnt it i hope your better now
i hate the thought i am a lil sick after reading this big hug 0 -
me three, I mean dessert to me is cookie, pie, pudding, cake....damn now I want cakeI think the most disturbing part of this post was that your daughter considers a 'Fiber One' bar to be dessert.
^this....and I love those things as snacks but it is still really disturbing
Oh well your idea of dessert is totally corrrect and no one else's is. :huh:
When I was young dessert would typically be things that other people don't consider proper dessert, tapioca, stewed apple, rhubarb, stuff some kids would turn their noses up at I'm sure and we didn't get it every day or even every week. Kids don't NEED dessert, why bother with it?! It's not a necessary part of dinner.
^Outlier. If that's what you call a treat, then fine. It's your journey.
My kids NEED ice cream.
Life's too short to not need something that makes them feel so happy. It can't all be about tilapia, steamed chicken and chia seeds. Or rhubarb.0 -
My husband is a "clear your plate" kind of guy, and I am a little more chill about the whole thing. Here is our compromise:
We rarely have dessert at our house, but I have a "thank you bite" rule. The kids have to have one or two thank you bites of each food on their plate, and then I usually require as many more bites total as their age. They can choose not to eat their thank you bites, but they still have to sit at the table until the meal is over (i.e. the grown ups get up) even if they don't eat. If they don't have their thank you bites, they don't get anything else until the next meal. (If they aren't hungry for nutritious stuff, they shouldn't be hungry for snacks.)0 -
Thank you all for your input. :smooched:
To clarify a little: this doesn't happen every night. And there are many nights when she doesn't ask for any dessert at all, or doesn't finish what she's given (which makes my heart happy).
Also, she gets fruit as her daytime snacks. Strawberries, apples, and bananas are her favorites. And she's been bugging me since January for cantaloupe. "Is it summer yet, Mom?"
Like I said in an above response, she can polish off an avocado by herself and she loves cherry tomatoes and will sometimes ask for carrots as a bedtime snack.0 -
I think the most disturbing part of this post was that your daughter considers a 'Fiber One' bar to be dessert.
^ This. I will never understand parents who don't let their kids have real dessert. It's about portion control and moderation, not cutting out all the joy out of life. Hell, I ate a Krispy Kreme donut this morning between squat sets. That was just "energy." Dessert is later. :bigsmile:
Ha Ha. I'll give her a Krispy Kreme after her next heavy session at the gym. :laugh:0 -
me three, I mean dessert to me is cookie, pie, pudding, cake....damn now I want cakeI think the most disturbing part of this post was that your daughter considers a 'Fiber One' bar to be dessert.
^this....and I love those things as snacks but it is still really disturbing
Oh well your idea of dessert is totally corrrect and no one else's is. :huh:
When I was young dessert would typically be things that other people don't consider proper dessert, tapioca, stewed apple, rhubarb, stuff some kids would turn their noses up at I'm sure and we didn't get it every day or even every week. Kids don't NEED dessert, why bother with it?! It's not a necessary part of dinner.
^Outlier. If that's what you call a treat, then fine. It's your journey.
My kids NEED ice cream.
Life's too short to not need something that makes them feel so happy. It can't all be about tilapia, steamed chicken and chia seeds. Or rhubarb.
That stuff did make us happy to be honest. When you don't get a lot of processed foods and sugar as a child you don't miss it. Yes, ice cream is nice, we got it when we went to the beach but not every single day.
As an aside, I'm from Ireland, that kind of dessert was fairly normal, we weren't being made to go without or anything.0 -
I grew up on steak, potatoes and vegetables with ice cream a couple of times a week. It's only when you don't portion control, don't watch their overall diet, and they don't get sufficient exercise that there will be a problem.0
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This is good advice it has worked for us, you can tell if they're pretending to be full or genuinely full then if you feel they've had a balanced diet then they can have dessert.My parents made me eat all my veggies, and depending on what I had eaten the rest of the day, some protein too. So usually they'd make a deal with me, that if I ate enough for a balanced meal ("eat half of your chicken and at least have some corn), then I could have dessert.
Better still these days we don't do dessert unless we're out in a restaurant so it's not even expected, keeps the junk out of their diet x0 -
I think the most disturbing part of this post was that your daughter considers a 'Fiber One' bar to be dessert.
^ This. I will never understand parents who don't let their kids have real dessert. It's about portion control and moderation, not cutting out all the joy out of life. Hell, I ate a Krispy Kreme donut this morning between squat sets. That was just "energy." Dessert is later. :bigsmile:
I understand that Fiber One bars aren't really appetizing for many people, but the chocolate ones have only 10 Calories more than one of my favorite cookies and enough fiber to help keep things, uh, moving?
Your children have constipation issues? If that's the case then perhaps they aren't eating enough vegetables, fruit and whole grains, and dessert isn't the issue.
No, she gets LOTS of fruits and veggies (and the only time she gets white bread is when we go out and she won't eat it 'cuz she thinks it's yucky). But I figure if I'm going to give her a sweet, it should at least have SOMETHING going for it..? :ohwell:0 -
I personally wouldn't give her dessert unless she has eaten her dinner. If she's not hungry for the good food she shouldn't be hungry for the crap.
Serve her very small portions. If she eats it and wants dessert, great. If she doesn't eat it no dessert.0 -
I think the most disturbing part of this post was that your daughter considers a 'Fiber One' bar to be dessert.
^ This. I will never understand parents who don't let their kids have real dessert. It's about portion control and moderation, not cutting out all the joy out of life. Hell, I ate a Krispy Kreme donut this morning between squat sets. That was just "energy." Dessert is later. :bigsmile:
Ha Ha. I'll give her a Krispy Kreme after her next heavy session at the gym. :laugh:
What? She doesn't lift?!!!
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Not if there are veggies on the plate.
For us, the veggies have to be eaten. The starches I'm not so concerned about, but definitely the veggies.0 -
Why are parents 'making deals' with their children? You're the parent! No deals, you make the rules!0
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Dessert should be only after a complete and balanced meal. It doesn't have to be a lot of food, but she needs healthy nutrition first! I would say there needs to be an agreed upon amount that she is required to eat (to ensure health) before dessert.
This. She should have to eat X amount first that you determined then she gets dessert.0 -
I grew up on steak, potatoes and vegetables with ice cream a couple of times a week. It's only when you don't portion control, don't watch their overall diet, and they don't get sufficient exercise that there will be a problem.
She gets a reasonable amount of exercise, maybe not what I would do if I were with her all day. But we do yoga, she rides her bike, I take her to the park when the weather's nice, and we try to walk the dogs several times a week. And then there's the just go outside and play.0 -
Like I said in an above response, she can polish off an avocado by herself and she loves cherry tomatoes and will sometimes ask for carrots as a bedtime snack.
My son recently asked for Broccoli as a bedtime snack. I almost wept with joy. :bigsmile:
Your girl sounds like a good eater!0 -
I know my parents were like that i once tossed my green beans my step dad made me eat them out of the garbage i was tramatised for awhile. I have issue not wanting to toss food or have left overs. As for your daughter make dessert something healthier like make some pudding that has an avacado base you dont taste the avacado but its there hide the good stuff in tasty things until she is able to eat more. Kids tummys are tiny!
I was also forced to eat out of the garbage. And to eat until I was in severe pain and threw up. I was not a dramatic kid. I was also forced to eat even when I said I was getting sick and then ended up with food poisoning. My brother was forced to eat foods that he ended up having an allergic reaction to, then threw up, then made to clean it up (he was 5). Sat in front of my food for most of the night and then served it for breakfast. It created a lot of anxiety. But, those were minor issues in comparison to the abuse I grew up with. And I can tell you this, the food stuff taught me a lot about not getting help for the abuse I was going through. It was just one more extension of being taught that adults force things on kids and kids put up with it, and don't complain (tell).
I dont think my parents were trying to be abusive but damn thats stupid isnt it i hope your better now i hate the thought i am a lil sick after reading this big hug
Oh, thanks! That's sweet. I am doing great now! Sorry, sometimes the food issues get mixed up with the abuse issues for me.0 -
If my kids eat a good amount that I think is acceptable, then they can have dessert. But if they only eat 1 or 2 bites and then are hungry again, well, if they are hungry, I saved their dinner on the table with a napkin over it, at least for about 1 hour after dinner. After that, they are out of luck, and can have a drink of milk or something like a bite or two of banana before bed, because I just can't feel good about letting them go to bed with hungry tummies. No dessert though.0
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I think the most disturbing part of this post was that your daughter considers a 'Fiber One' bar to be dessert.
^^this. That is not dessert that is chocolate cover cardboard. I grew up on have a scoop of icecream as a dessert even now that I watch my intake wouldnt consider fiber one dessert.0
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