Guy and Girl be "just friends"

nhouse3417
nhouse3417 Posts: 105
in Chit-Chat
I am sure this has been talked about before. But I can not find anything.

Can a guy and girl be just friends, nothing more? Both are in a relationship (married, or engaged).

Texting one another OK as well? Not just friends at work?
«13

Replies

  • MFPRat
    MFPRat Posts: 201 Member
    Friends, yea, why not.

    From work and then texting outside work? Just seems weird to me. Unless my spouse and my guy friend have met and they are cool.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Ohhhh, there was an EPIC thread on this already. I can't remember if it ended up being deleted or not.


    ETA: FOUND IT!

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/949350-why-do-people-say-men-and-women-can-t-be-platonic-friends?hl=just+friends
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    If there's no physical attraction to each other...I think it can work.
  • kaylaandthestarcatcher
    kaylaandthestarcatcher Posts: 836
    Yes. They can be. The end.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    Honestly, it depends on the SOs of each of those people. If they are ok with it, sure. But if even one finds it too "close" might as well stop, or become casual friends.
  • larlo74
    larlo74 Posts: 45 Member
    As long as the friendship isn't a replacement for something missing at home with the significant other. Also, I think you need to make sure your partner is okay with it. You don't want to ruin that relationship for a friendship.
  • BullDozier
    BullDozier Posts: 237 Member

    From work and then texting outside work? Just seems weird to me. Unless my spouse and my guy friend have met and they are cool.
    Generally agree with this. I think it mainly depends on the other spouses. Do they know? What do they think? Do you need to sneak off to text? Does the spouse say you are texting too much? Do you ever text anything you wouldn't want the spouse to see?

    I think this is really an issue unique to each relationship and depends on the two people involved.

    Personally, I don't ever think guys are girls can truely be friends, but I am biased by my own personal history.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    If there's no physical attraction to each other...I think it can work.
    THIS...but it has to be that way on both sides. Seems like often one person has romantic tendencies and that ruins it all...
  • classycouture
    classycouture Posts: 888 Member
    Yes. They can be. The end.

    FACT.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Ohhhh, there was an EPIC thread on this already. I can't remember if it ended up being deleted or not.


    ETA: FOUND IT!

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/949350-why-do-people-say-men-and-women-can-t-be-platonic-friends?hl=just+friends

    ^this

    And my own 2 cents- absolutely yes. I have a lot of platonic guy friends. And no, they aren't gay.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    I think its possible, but very, very difficult to achieve a100% platonic relationship between two members of the opposite sex.

    As for the co-worker thing, I don't think anything good could possibly come from it, and that is indeed from personal experience. It may begin innocently, but somewhere along the line sexuality becomes involved and that's when it starts heading towards inappropriate.
  • emaren
    emaren Posts: 934 Member
    My absolute best friend in the world is a girl.

    I absolutely love her like a sister.

    But absolutely nothing more - objectively she is good looking and she works out a lot so has a great body too.

    But I do not at any level want a relationship beyond the great friendship we have.
  • nhouse3417
    nhouse3417 Posts: 105

    From work and then texting outside work? Just seems weird to me. Unless my spouse and my guy friend have met and they are cool.
    Generally agree with this. I think it mainly depends on the other spouses. Do they know? What do they think? Do you need to sneak off to text? Does the spouse say you are texting too much? Do you ever text anything you wouldn't want the spouse to see?

    I think this is really an issue unique to each relationship and depends on the two people involved.

    Personally, I don't ever think guys are girls can truely be friends, but I am biased by my own personal history.
    They know now. They arent happy with it, and it has since stopped. The spouse has said they text too much. Trying to set things up so they can meet one another more than just a quick chat.
  • Micheetah
    Micheetah Posts: 184 Member
    MOS DEF! I have numerous male friends that I've hung out with for years and didnt diss them once I was in a serious relationship, engaged then married. My SO trusts me and I trust him. These are existing friends though, I'm not looking to make any new male friends, I think that would be different. There are not always around but once in a while we'll catch lunch or catch up, sometimes with my SO sometimes on our own. We don't make a big deal of it. My SO doesnt really have any female friends, but if he did, I trust him. BTW I have some great male single friends if any ladies are interested lol. BUT nearly NO single female friends.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    FOR SURE!!!! THOSE ARE THE BEST ONES!
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
    I go out every Wednesday evening with my friends, they are all male. All of us are married, most of us have children, we have a laugh and even (but not very often) go to the pub! I can honestly say, hand on heart that although I really like them, I am not in the slightest bit interested in then in as physical way!! And why would I want to ruin a good friendship (not to mention other people's lives) by having sex with any of them?!!!
  • d9123
    d9123 Posts: 531 Member
    Yea if the chick is not attractive
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    I have had several close friendship with women over the years. The problem is that spouses don't necessarily agree and it just gets to be too uncomfortable to continue.
  • simplyciera
    simplyciera Posts: 168 Member
    One of my closest male friends said "A guy and a girl can only be friends for as long as the guy can or wants to have sex with her"
    I think it's kind of true. There are the rare relationships that stand out between a guy& a girl. But usually if a guy and a girl are friends, either one of their emotions gets in the way or an outside boyfriend/ girlfriend gets jealous/insecure. I think its easier for girls to hold on to the relationship than for the guy to though.

    I'm one of those girls that likes guys for friends, but it only works when I'm single. Once I get into a relationship, all of my guy friends disappear & the only ones I'm friends with are the boyfriends of my few girlfriends. Even then, we're not close close.
  • OhMissSophie
    OhMissSophie Posts: 6
    Absolutely!!
  • mdraper60
    mdraper60 Posts: 101 Member
    Why not?? My best friend is a guy and I actually have more guys friends than girls! I am married and my hubby is totally cool with it. We have a loving and trusting relationship so there is no reason for him to be jealous. :smile:
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
    It can work. I have plenty of female friends.. Sometimes my wife gets a little jealous, but that is ok. It keeps her on her toes. :happy:
  • lookitsbecc
    lookitsbecc Posts: 22 Member
    I personally have never liked texting as a way of communication. I use texting as a way of sending a message such as "I'm going to the shops, do you need anything?" "I'll be over in about 5, grab your stuff" kind of thing. But that's just me.
    I wouldn't particularly like it if my SO was texting another girl, purely because there are so many other kinds of communication available these days that texting seems a bit intimate/private. Why not facebook message? Or skype? Or whatever it is people do these days.
    I don't text any of my friends, if something needs to be said or I fancy a chat I hop on facebook chat because there's an app on my phone for it...
  • Mr_Excitement
    Mr_Excitement Posts: 833 Member
    Absolutely-- my best friend is a girl. Woman. Whatever. We've been best friends for eh... let's see... oh man, almost thirty years now.

    We're both 40 now. We met on the monkey bars in second grade. She was trying to stomp on my hands to make me go away. Anyway yeah, nothing romantic, neither of us is gay, we both date (other people), and have never dated each other. We're just buddies.
  • suzend
    suzend Posts: 155 Member
    I have two close guy friends. One I went to high school with and the other I met at work. My husband has met both and hung out with all of us together. It's only ever been friends and it's all it ever will be. We just dig each others company. My friend from work has since left the company and moved out of state. Texting and emailing are how we communicate now and every so often, he comes up this way to visit. It's all good. :smile:
  • WanderingLass
    WanderingLass Posts: 86 Member
    Yes. They can be. The end.

    FACT.

    QFT

    One of my longest-standing friendships is with a guy. He's listened to me through a failed marriage and a minor mental breakdown after. He's like a brother to me. Does my SO care? Nope. Has he ever met him? Nope. Does he trust me implicitly AND know who I love and am committed to? Yup.
  • kaylaandthestarcatcher
    kaylaandthestarcatcher Posts: 836
    One of my closest male friends said "A guy and a girl can only be friends for as long as the guy can or wants to have sex with her"

    tumblr_mjx354kY5D1qgb5p1o4_250_zpsaab09df3.gif

    tumblr_mjlbr77HM91qegyiio1_500_zps21a90b3b.gif

    tumblr_mkm3zgFJcb1qegyiio1_500_zpsf421abbf.gif

    tumblr_ml80iuXk8T1rr3e1qo4_250_zps841e7d6c.gif
  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
    Yep!! I have several guy friends that are just friends and nothing more.
  • imshr3dded
    imshr3dded Posts: 33
    Yep!! I have several guy friends that are just friends and nothing more.

    Do they know they're friendzoned yet?
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    One of my closest male friends said "A guy and a girl can only be friends for as long as the guy can or wants to have sex with her"
    We call that "projecting".

Categories