How to tone your muscles to make them long and lean

darrensurrey
darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
1) Take a scalpel
2) Cut the head of the muscle off the bone
3) Pull it further up the bone
4) Use Superglue to glue the head back to the bone
5) Hold for an hour

Anaesthetic is optional. I suggest Finnish Vodka.

PS IANAD.

Replies

  • cjs3001
    cjs3001 Posts: 273 Member
    Bumped. I've only got Georgian vodka, this will have to wait.
  • Antlady69
    Antlady69 Posts: 204 Member
    Darren - Du Depp!!! *PMSL*
  • IzzyBooNZ1
    IzzyBooNZ1 Posts: 1,289 Member
    I think i have red wine , opened a few days ago, that may do.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    I think i have red wine , opened a few days ago, that may do.

    Probably gone off so will be perfect.
  • SilverLotusGirl
    SilverLotusGirl Posts: 537 Member
    Wouldn't a few stitches be better for holding the muscles in place?
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    Wouldn't a few stitches be better for holding the muscles in place?

    You can fix anything with Superglue.
  • sprintto50
    sprintto50 Posts: 410 Member
    I don't drink. Any other suggestions for the pain?
  • SilverLotusGirl
    SilverLotusGirl Posts: 537 Member
    Wouldn't a few stitches be better for holding the muscles in place?

    You can fix anything with Superglue.

    Seems I underestimate Superglue
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    I don't drink. Any other suggestions for the pain?

    Brace yourself!
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    Wouldn't a few stitches be better for holding the muscles in place?

    You can fix anything with Superglue.

    Seems I underestimate Superglue

    I saw a documentary once where a man glued himself to himself.
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025 Member
    Wouldn't a few stitches be better for holding the muscles in place?

    You can fix anything with Superglue.

    Seems I underestimate Superglue

    I saw a documentary once where a man glued himself to himself.

    Yeah superglue!
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    You changed your name! And photo. What a cute... thing.

Categories