What do you think of fat people after losing weight?

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lilpoindexter
lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I've been thinking about this for a long time...

I've lost 60-65 lbs...I'm 5' 11" I wasn't the largest person ever, but the difference is night and day of how I used to look. I went from size 42 pants to 34 (32 will fit, but i like my clothes loose)

Every time an obese person that I've known for a long time sees me...they ask what my "secret" was...

I tell them I try to eat better, I stopped drinking booze and soda, I joined a gym, and I bike ride. I tell them I have a spare bike and they are welcome to join me whenever...

Their eyes glaze over...

Then they proceed to tell me about their thyroid, marketing by high fructose corn syrup companies, their bad back, irritiable bowel syndrome, their hang nail, cooties or whatever other BS, imaginary condition or affliction is preventing them from even making an attempt at eating better or doing SOME exercise.

I know that in my case fatness was due to my laziness...I think the same holds true for %99.9 of fat people...but they just aren't willing to admit it.
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Replies

  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
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    I agree - but think it is more than just laziness. For me, I was convinced it just couldn't happen after years of yo yo dieting with no sustainable success. So, yes, I was lazy, but more than that I was defeated, so why try? We all get there in our own time.
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
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    My fatness wasn't because I'm lazy...I work harder and stay more active than most thin people I know. However, binge eating disorder did me no favors at all. Once I went to counseling and was able to get a hold of my emotions, the weight started coming off.

    So, yes, I do think a lot of people are just lazy. However, many of the obese are dealing with emotional difficulties as well that make a life change more difficult. I do my best not to judge...I just wish they were willing to listen to how easy weight loss can be. Honestly, if I could do my college career over again, I would have majored in psychology/nutrition to help obese people lose weight and deal with the emotional aspects of it.
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
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    I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.
  • BrookeLosesWeight
    BrookeLosesWeight Posts: 16 Member
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    I somewhat agree with you - I, personally, am over weight because I ate too much and exercised too little - plain and simple! At least I'm trying to make a change I guess!
  • kbeech06
    kbeech06 Posts: 328 Member
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    Well, I'm still fat...but I'm getting there! So when I see a fat person, I wonder if maybe they have other issues in their lives. See, I have RA and I have days when the pain is HORRIBLE..it makes moving near impossible. I move when I can. I don't live anyone else's life, and I don't know what's going on in their life...so I try not to judge, just like I hope no one is judging me.
  • kbeech06
    kbeech06 Posts: 328 Member
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    I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.

    Exactly!
  • zinatara
    zinatara Posts: 76 Member
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    I've always known why I got fat and the things I needed to do to loose weight. But that's only half of what you need, I couldn't do it until I got motivated and ready. I didn't blame anything but myself, but I also found comfort in my chocolate and cakes.

    I think it's often easy to feel that since you could do it, everybody should be able too. But they might not be ready. Often it's the same with people who have stopped smoking. I remember my step mother in law was telling us how weak I was since she stopped smoking while I still smoked. She started again a half year later and still smokes, I stopped and haven't touched a sigaret in almost 10 years.
  • nosillanosilla
    nosillanosilla Posts: 42
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    Honestly, I think "How could they let themselves exist like that without changing anything??" then I remember that we all started somewhere and for most people it isn't one single decision or day that you just change and start being healthy. It is a process. And who knows? They could have already lost 20, 30, 100 lbs... you never know about people you just met.
  • liannexxx
    liannexxx Posts: 201 Member
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    I think you can't tar everyone with the same brush! You have to look at each person individually and can't make a sweeping statement like "everyone who is fat is just lazy"
  • cmcmommy
    cmcmommy Posts: 197 Member
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    Mine defiantly wasn't being lazy ,I worked 40+ hrs a week unloading trucks. Mine was bad food choices and I believe part of it is hereditary. I am built just like my grandmother, mother, sister , Although some of us have lost weight we still have the big *kitten*/ big thighs and wide hips.
  • TravelDog14
    TravelDog14 Posts: 317 Member
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    Until I go to my grave maintaining at my now-healthy weight, I won't judge.

    Because until that day arrives, I could gain it all back again meaning I'm no better nor worse than anyone else who struggles to lose weight.
  • ChangingAmanda
    ChangingAmanda Posts: 486 Member
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    For me I had to be ready mentally to solidly commit to the change. I hope they find the same mental readiness.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    Well, I hope I remain empathetic because I used to be one of them. When people ask me what I'm doing to lose weight, I ask them if they want the long version or the short version. They usually say "short" so I say "counting calories". If they want the long version I tell them about how I didn't think I could lose weight because of age/genes/hormones/metabolism/whatever, didn't think I was eating that much to begin with, thought I'd have to starve on 800 calories a day just to get the scale to move, etc. and how wrong I was about all of those things. Yes, they mostly just glaze over. But it's their choice to choose food over a healthy weight, just like it was my choice even though I didn't see it that way at the time.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    The reasons they give are the obstacles they are feeling at that time. But, the conversation will possibly stick with them and they will begin to think about it. As they try a little bit at a time, they may begin to feel more ready. Hearing your story and your progress will be motivation and proof that with work it is possible. Sometimes people don't want to put the work in if they think it will be ineffective. They need to learn that while it does not happen right away, the consistency pays off. They also just need to know that they can do the work and still enjoy life. They just need to make some shifts in their priorities, time, and their mindset about how to enjoy life. This is not a 5 second shift. It takes a thought process and the first response is resistance and all the excuses that have held them back. Provide the helpful information. Let them take the time to think about it and decide for themselves. Everyone has challenges. That part is real. Just, not everyone knows that there is always always a way to work with the challenges that they have. Whether the challenges are physical, mental or both.
  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
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    I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.

    This.

    I got a lot of judgement when my activity plummeted and my weight increased after my twins were born. I was told repeatedly that I needed to make exercise a priority when in reality, I was barely hanging on with just a few hours of sleep for almost two solid years. I couldn't afford to get help. I did the best I could. And it ticked me off when people that had no idea the hell I was going through, just trying to take care of my family, told me I wasn't trying hard enough.
  • yondermountain
    yondermountain Posts: 16 Member
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    This is my first post because I think about this a lot. I have a lot of compassion for obese people. I know that for the most part it is because of bad habits, but I think most of them are miserable about their situation. I don't have a huge amount of weight to lose but I never look at my reflection in glass doors or in store mirrors because the sight of myself makes me sick. They must feel even more unhappy because they are so far from their goal (I'm talking about people who are not attempting to lose weight or increase fitness).

    Another thing that makes me feel compassion for them is our culture's insistence on meeting a standard of attractiveness that does not allow for body shape differences. If you did not win the genetic lottery you will never be on the top of the beauty scale here.

    I lived for a time in another country and I was amazed at how many people classified people of all shapes and sizes as attractive. Not ragging on the good ol' USA, love it, but I did notice a difference.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    I myself was lazy...and also didn't realize how easy it really is. I always had the stereotypical view of dieting...sucking on celery sticks all day long and otherwise eating boring and ****ty food. I'm a foodie, so that mere thought of "dieting" always made me cringe.

    I changed my tune when I started just trying to get better nutrition and be healthier due to some bad blood work. I really started researching nutrition and changing my numerous personal recipes to reflect fresher, more nutrient dense ingredients...less oil, stuff like that. I wasn't even necessarily trying to lose weight at first, it just started to come off naturally with the way I was eating.

    I lost a good 15 Lbs or so on my own and that's when I decided I'd like to keep that trend going and really started counting my calories and managing my macros. As I lost weight I also got more motivated to get back into exercise. I was a half way decent athlete once upon a time and I missed being able to do the things I used to do...little by little I just got myself back out there and started upping my fitness.

    I think most people just come to it in their own time and own way...and unfortunately, many don't come to it at all.
  • chrisrn30
    chrisrn30 Posts: 12
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    Inspiration is what I call "fat" or "big" or "thick" people after they lost the weight makes me think and gives me strength that I can do that too! I'm way fat before but when I started doing some home workouts (that I found funny before doing it) I feel great about myself losing weight everyday, it's kinda hard to adjust to your diet since I eat way much before but I think I need more control on my appetite with that aside, for those who have some thyroid problems (most reason I hear) even though they say their diet is good, they can't have a good diet if they just sit down all day.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
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    I think some of them could try harder to make their health and fitness more of a priority.
  • norrisski
    norrisski Posts: 1,217 Member
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    I try to be a role model for those who are still obese. I am a Nurse Practitioner and when my patients asked how I did it, they are very disappointed when I don't tell them about some magic pill that I took. I just talk to them about making small changes in diet and exercise and don't sugar coat it. I let them know that it is hard work but I am an example that it can be done. I also tell them that excuses are just that and I know what the excuses are because I have heard them out of my own mouth. The biggest thing is just continue to try to be a positive influence on them without being pushy or judgemental. If they are good friends, invite them along to join you in the exercise, pass on healthy eating tips and be supportive of their efforts.

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