What do you think of fat people after losing weight?

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  • Belligerent_Wombat
    Belligerent_Wombat Posts: 63 Member
    I've been thinking about this for a long time...

    I've lost 60-65 lbs...I'm 5' 11" I wasn't the largest person ever, but the difference is night and day of how I used to look. I went from size 42 pants to 34 (32 will fit, but i like my clothes loose)

    Every time an obese person that I've known for a long time sees me...they ask what my "secret" was...

    I tell them I try to eat better, I stopped drinking booze and soda, I joined a gym, and I bike ride. I tell them I have a spare bike and they are welcome to join me whenever...

    Their eyes glaze over...

    Then they proceed to tell me about their thyroid, marketing by high fructose corn syrup companies, their bad back, irritiable bowel syndrome, their hang nail, cooties or whatever other BS, imaginary condition or affliction is preventing them from even making an attempt at eating better or doing SOME exercise.

    I know that in my case fatness was due to my laziness...I think the same holds true for %99.9 of fat people...but they just aren't willing to admit it.

    Here's a thought: Stop judging and be an example to others. Imagine what you might accomplish then.

    /has lost 75 lbs total
    //still over 300
    ///still dealing with snobs like you.
  • wannabpiper
    wannabpiper Posts: 402 Member
    I never judge people by their weight; my dearest friend weighs somewhere in the 477-500 lb range, is suffering a multitude of deadly health issues brought on, I'm certain, by her obesity, and refuses to admit to herself that her health issues are a result of her obesity. I love my friend dearly and look past her weight. We've dieted and exercised together, traveled together, and never has her health/obesity issues been something between us. I listen when she needs to discuss it, and I shut my mouth otherwise. No one can make her lose the weight - only she can make those changes in her life.

    I'm certain I will lose her to her obesity one day and will just cherish the times we have together now.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    It's definitely more than just laziness. For me, it was partially laziness, but it was also: never being taught proper nutrition or the importance of exercise; not caring enough about myself; living in a very abuse, high-stress environment in which I used food to self-soothe; and not being taken seriously by adults in my life when I expressed a desire to lose weight as a child. It's also the fact that food is bloody amazing stuff and I love eating it! :)

    But getting over an addiction is always more than just being too lazy to do it.
  • LJCannon
    LJCannon Posts: 3,636 Member
    Until I go to my grave maintaining at my now-healthy weight, I won't judge.

    Because until that day arrives, I could gain it all back again meaning I'm no better nor worse than anyone else who struggles to lose weight.

    ^^This!! Plus, you cannot know where anyone else is in their Life Journey or what Demons they are fighting. For all you or I know, they may have just lost a Ton of weight and are still losing. That being said, I do feel sad when I see someone who is morbidly obese because I have been there and I know how defeated you feel when you are in that place.
  • I find the premise of this thread very surprising to see on this site. Laziness is a simplistic, and often incorrect, explanation for being overweight. I would think that most people who have dealt with weight issues would understand that. Overeating, like any other addictive behavior, often stems from a unhealthy coping strategy that turns into a problem of its own. Family issues, emotional scars, mood disorders, and our often complex sense of self all come into play.

    Do we dismiss the alcoholic as lazy? Are people with major depression lazy? What about people who struggle with anorexia? The list could go on and on.

    Perhaps the topic here, "what do you think of fat people after losing weight," has more to do with how people who have lost weight feel about themselves. Remember proverbs, "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall". If we can take our own baggage out of the equation we have a much better chance of really seeing other people. And when we really see each other people, our capacity for compassion grows.

    Really beautifully said.

    I think the 'all fat people are lazy' trope is old and tired and needs to die in a fire. I find it personally insulting as I work full time, go to school full time, run multiple body positive blogs full time, and still try to have some me-time. The very thought that people think I'm lazy sends me into a rage. More and more research shows that weight is genetically predetermined. And in a case like mine, I've struggled with Binge Eating Disorder since I was 8 years old (that's nearly 20 years). People want to assume what they want because I'm fat, but of course they have no idea that I've managed to maintain my weight for 3 years after a lifetime of uncontrollable gaining.

    Basically, you know what they say about assumptions.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
    Many of the obese people I know have tried or are still trying to lose weight. Some have their demons and can't get past them. Others would rather enjoy the food and hope they end up with no major health consequences. I fell into the latter category... then I developed diabetes. There are times when I wish I could take some people and shake some sense into them, but you can't make someone change.... has to be their decision.
  • mhcoss
    mhcoss Posts: 220
    If they are actively working to change how they are I consider them one of my peers.. if they are not doing anything and don't care and have no intention of changing/improving my view is not positive.
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
    I'm trying not to make the mistake of assuming I did this all myself, and that environmental factors don't play a huge role in determining body composition.


    You're not better than anyone just for losing some weight or getting fit.

    On top of that, there are two ways to look at obesity. On the individual level, and on the group level. We need interventions on both levels and one doesn't invalidate the other. Things are not black and white and I find this kind of unenlightened thinking very silly.
  • sokkache
    sokkache Posts: 220 Member
    They inspire me and motivate me. I've always thought of myself as one of those unlucky girls who always had a very slow to death metabolism, which I do have a pretty slow metabolism especially for my age. But I've finally accepted that the reason why I'm overweight(and I'm tipping on the scale between overweight and normal) is because when I do exercise and I'm a very active person, I always balance it with tons of food, but when I exercise everyday, I tend to put in more than what I put out which is why I always am gaining weight. And what sucks about being active is that when you don't work out, you're stomach is still used to eating that amount of food so you gain weight. It's a tough battle man.
  • Obesity is caused by a number of factors, not just laziness. On top of genetics, the food companies make "fake" food to hit our dopamine receptors in the brain, and they know this. Obesity is generally an addiction. We should not judge others as lazy or weak-willed simply because they are overweight. It is difficult NOT to be overweight in our society with our food options and lifestyle. Instead of demeaning and insulting those who are obese (I am not saying that YOU did this), let us all help each other to live happier, healthier, more active lives and encourage those around us. Each one of us has to make the decision about our own body, and no one can force anyone to lose weight. Acceptance and tolerance is very much lacking in our world today.
  • nuemmedigg
    nuemmedigg Posts: 220 Member
    Until I go to my grave maintaining at my now-healthy weight, I won't judge.

    Because until that day arrives, I could gain it all back again meaning I'm no better nor worse than anyone else who struggles to lose weight.

    Agree!
  • Bearbrat
    Bearbrat Posts: 230
    The biggest issue that I've personally seen is that some become "snobs" to others that haven't lost weight. That because they lost weight, that they on a "higher level" than those that didn't. They'll criticize how others eat, when a few months ago they were eating the same way.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    This
  • lablueluna
    lablueluna Posts: 52
    OP I think this is a mean topic, everyone has their own issues and I try not to judge anyone....end of!
    P.S had to stop My eyes glazing over as your smugness was really quite tiresome

    Totally agree. In my opinion, judging others is a reflections of one's own unhappiness. Everyone is different and it's not okay to lump people into groups defined by a characteristic that some find "wrong" and refer to said people as THEM, THEY, THOSE OVER THERE, as if they weren't human. We all have our stuff: fat does not equal bad, stupid, ugly just as thin does not equal good, intelligent, and beautiful. It's complicated, folks.
  • stephenszymanski
    stephenszymanski Posts: 114 Member
    Losing weight doesn't mean it's okay to judge others. It doesn't mean you're better. You don't know their situation.

    I've lost about 25 pounds, and still have another 30 to go. I would never judge another person because they are obese, fat, or overweight. They may be trying to do something about it, and they may actually be in better health than you. I know personally that because I run 5 days a week, I have much better cardio than many of "inshape" friends. Just because they don't want to go for a ride on your spare bike doesn't indicate anything.
  • lablueluna
    lablueluna Posts: 52
    I find the premise of this thread very surprising to see on this site. Laziness is a simplistic, and often incorrect, explanation for being overweight. I would think that most people who have dealt with weight issues would understand that. Overeating, like any other addictive behavior, often stems from a unhealthy coping strategy that turns into a problem of its own. Family issues, emotional scars, mood disorders, and our often complex sense of self all come into play.

    Do we dismiss the alcoholic as lazy? Are people with major depression lazy? What about people who struggle with anorexia? The list could go on and on.

    Perhaps the topic here, "what do you think of fat people after losing weight," has more to do with how people who have lost weight feel about themselves. Remember proverbs, "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall". If we can take our own baggage out of the equation we have a much better chance of really seeing other people. And when we really see each other people, our capacity for compassion grows.

    Thank you for so eloquently stating what I wanted to convey.
  • zentha1384
    zentha1384 Posts: 323 Member
    Then they proceed to tell me about their thyroid, marketing by high fructose corn syrup companies, their bad back, irritiable bowel syndrome, their hang nail, cooties or whatever other BS, imaginary condition or affliction is preventing them from even making an attempt at eating better or doing SOME exercise.

    I was at least to some extent like this. I have a bad shoulder, a leg that I broke and was never set correctly. A dislocated knee and ankle that I tore all the ligaments in both of which didn't heal right. Every time I started exercising I bombard by pain from at least one of these injuries. about 60lbs of my weight loss was done with diet and a minimal amount of cardio.

    That said once that much weight came off I started working with a personal trainer and between the lower stress on my injuries and the increase to my strength my old injuries barely bother me, and when they do it is night and day from where I started out.

    So there could be some truth to the "bad back" and other alignments that people use as excesses. What most don't realize is you can lose weight with diet alone and just getting weight off will drastically decrease the pain from these.
  • Andrea8985
    Andrea8985 Posts: 107
    I'm not going to lie--part of me judges them. I realize that everyone is different, though, and that I know nothing about their life. However, I don't think there is any excuse to let yourself be obese without trying to do anything to fix it. No matter what medical conditions you have, what your life is like, you can always work with a doctor (and trainer, if you can afford one) to help make healthier choices and get your weight under control.

    Not to say that I am perfect. I am still considered overweight, and I do unhealthy things like smoke. I am working to change these things, though. Why? For my health. Yes, it will be nice to look hot in a bikini. That's just a bonus though--health is the bigger factor.
  • I don't always judge fat people

    But when I do, I do it on MFP.

    I think I love you.

    On topic, I'm jealous of fat (-ter than me) people now.

    I especially tend to take notice of heavier girls who are in happy relationships. According to the scale, I've lost 70-ish pounds from where I was at my heaviest, and I still can't get past the emotional blocks that keep me holding everyone away at arm's length. I now fear judgment from others more than I ever have. Without so much "soft armor" I throw my defenses up as quickly as possible, which doesn't exactly make me the warm and fuzzy type of friend.

    I miss being apathetic. I miss not being aware of body image issues within myself. I'm mad that I feel a sick satisfaction when fat "happens" to my formerly skinny loved ones even though I'm sad for them, too. I'm afraid that getting thinner and being angrier are becoming a pattern for me.

    I think I probably project most of what I think I'm missing onto the fat people I encounter. I don't actively acknowledge inner struggles with which they may be suffering and that may skew my perception of where people are falling on the happiness scale.
  • Tctr
    Tctr Posts: 24 Member
    For myself the most difficult part of this lifelong journey will be the food part.

    I don't consider myself physically lazy. I go to 4-6 karate lessons a week and come home completely soaked from sweating. A good chunk of my day is spent getting the kids ready for school, work, picking them up, getting dinner ready, helping with homework and helping with housework. Have also been running/jogging 3-4 days a week and will be getting back to the gym when i can squeeze it in.

    That being said, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE EATING HORRIBLY UNHEALTHY FOODS!!! I'm not depressed, nor do I have any other ailments, food just makes me tremendously happy!!! I wouldn't be even slightly surprised if there were many days that I would gleefully consume 7000+ calories.

    It's that simple.

    Fat =/= lazy.