What do you think of fat people after losing weight?
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The context of this thread has sort of derailed from the title but I guess I'd think..
"Good job! Amazing!"
The other question seems to be, "What do you think of 'fat' people who aren't willing/ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle".
It's entirely cultural. In some places and times, fat is a sign of wealth. "Ideals" change, and the shallow preoccupation with comparing oneself to others in the OP is kind of sad. It's natural, but it's not good and in my case anyway, it's something I strive to eliminate from my thinking. For instance, when I first read the OP, I thought "that's a bit self righteous for a guy who wears American size 34 pants". But then I remind myself it's relative, and 34 pants once felt like an accomplishment. Now it's 28, and my current 30-31 feels like an accomplishment, and 34 feels like fat pants.
Oh yea, of course it's completely relative. Gotta respect the dudes who prefer some girls with a badonkadonk too!0 -
The context of this thread has sort of derailed from the title but I guess I'd think..
"Good job! Amazing!"
The other question seems to be, "What do you think of 'fat' people who aren't willing/ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle".
It's entirely cultural. In some places and times, fat is a sign of wealth. "Ideals" change, and the shallow preoccupation with comparing oneself to others in the OP is kind of sad. It's natural, but it's not good and in my case anyway, it's something I strive to eliminate from my thinking. For instance, when I first read the OP, I thought "that's a bit self righteous for a guy who wears American size 34 pants". But then I remind myself it's relative, and 34 pants once felt like an accomplishment. Now it's 28, and my current 30-31 feels like an accomplishment, and 34 feels like fat pants.
Oh yea, of course it's completely relative. Gotta respect the dudes who prefer some girls with a badonkadonk too!
My personal preference is "girls who say yes"
I just feel like none of this should be stated in moral terms. It's part of a belief system based on a religious notion of gluttony as a deadly sin. I say, bull****! Obesity is a personal problem only if it conflicts with your personal goal, and a societal problem only because it conflicts with societal goals.
We want to believe we accomplish things all by ourselves, because it feels good. But in reality, we are basically products of our environment, with completely mutable identities. Phenotype is merely the interface between genetics and environment. That's anti romantic, yes, but realistic. It's real enough that smart money is going to research which develops ways to manipulate entire populations into eating more, and unfortunately, the only way to counter that is with some kind of intervention on the group level.0 -
THISI think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.
For me personally, yes I was lazy at times but I wasn't happy so i thought whatever what's the use. it wasn't until i was truly happy with myself and with my life that i figured out I'm worth the hard work. I'm still huge, but I work harder now and i don't want to jinx it...but so far so good 0 -
I agree that everyone battles their battles in their own time.
You have no idea how hard I try to lose weight. My story is that I count my calories carefully most of the days but I lose it after 8pm and spoil the whole day of successful counting. Emotional issues behind the “laziness” is a big problem. I feel defeated and hardly positive. If I add how many times I lost the same 10lbs and gained it back, I would be very slim….
Hence I have no right to judge others.0 -
I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.
This. I try not to judge people. Even at 215 pounds I still ran 5 miles 3 days a week but bulimia, later a binge eating disorder, not taking responsibility for my eating habits, and feeling defeated meant that I wasn't losing weight. You don't know the battles people are fighting so when I'm asked the question of what my "secret" is I tell them "healthy eating, junk in moderation, moving more. Nothing more. Nothing less."0 -
I agree with you in some sense however, in my case its not about eating healthy or exercising. I work out everyday and try to make the best decisions with every meal. I still struggle with my weight. I f you are talking about the ones who eat mcdonalds every day and then complain, Im there with ya. But there are cases where there are people who run, bike, eat healthy and are still large.0
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For me it's very frustrating. I work in a physical rehab at one of the top hospitals in the country. Most of our patients are stroke patients and joint replacements. 90% of them are overweight or obese. And many of the conditions they have that contributed to their stroke or joint replacement necessetiy could be controlled through diet and exercise. People are coming in now having strokes in their 30's and 40's due to obesity and sedentary lifestyle, which increase the risk for high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes, both huge risk factors for many conditions including stroke. I do think a lot of it is poor education to some extent. I mean we know that all the processed garbage on the shelves of grocery stores isn't good for, but I don't think some people realize how bad it is. I know in parts of the city where I live there aren't even real grocery stores nearby. And also think many people have got into the mindset that "oh, I have diabetes? Well I can just take a shot" or "I have high blood pressure, there's a pill for that." I think the fact that there are treatments available for medical conditions associated with obesity is one contributing factor to why people don't want to lose weight. It's not always laziness... There have been a lot of good posts about other factors, and anyways, it's really not for us to judge others... Everyone has their own story... Perhaps they are very poor and have to eat from a food bank, or maybe they are struggling with a physical ailment that doesn't allow them to exercise. Yes, some people use these things as excuses, but sometimes they are real concerns. Instead of judging their responses as "excuses" maybe offer them some education or teach them how to read a label or tell them about a friend with hypothyroidism who had success. I think that will be more helpful to them then just rolling your eyes.0
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I'm always impressed by people who lose a lot of weight, because changing your lifestyle is not easy. But it really is something like an alcoholic's 'moment of clarity'-- I mean, people change when they decide they've had enough, and not a minute before.0
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What do I think of them? I don't, unless it's a passing "good for them." I'm too busy worrying about my own problems.
Unless you're asking what I think of them after I've lost weight. Again, I don't.0 -
I do believe that everyone gets there in their own time. For me I had a "zillion" reasons why I was heavy and could not lose weight. No time, have to cook for my family, unfair for them to have to eat "healthy" food, counting calories is too hard, weighing food is too time consuming, I have no spare time for exercise, no spare money to join a gym......... endless reasons. And then one day I decided to make myself a priority and I found a way to do it. I still have a fair amount to go but I won't judge anyone else who is not "there" yet.0
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Often fat people feel discouraged, defeated, and even hopeless. Their weakness is eating too many calories for the amount of activity they do. It shows on the outside for the world to see. You can be mean, self-centered, or dishonest, and still look slim and attractive on the outside.0
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The biggest issue that I've personally seen is that some become "snobs" to others that haven't lost weight. That because they lost weight, that they on a "higher level" than those that didn't. They'll criticize how others eat, when a few months ago they were eating the same way.
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I have seen this so many times! Currently I have a "friend" who is like this. She had gastric bypass and has lost almost 100 lbs. But now she is getting ready to have her tummy tuck surgery, and keeps trying to do a "cleanse" (liquid diet, no carbs, and pureed veggies) to lose more weight before her surgery. She brags that she lost 12 pounds in 10 days, then wonders why she gains it all back when the cleanse is over. Yet she is the first to criticize anyone even remotely overweight - and she still has a little ways to go herself. I honestly just try to tune her out.
However, I also have several friends who have lost lots of weight who are so supportive and understanding of others without coddling them!
I think it all comes down to personality.0 -
The fact of the matter is that exercise will help, but losing weight can be done simply by eating less.
This was something I struggled to believe myself and I KNOW that a lot of people in my life, mostly family don't believe this. I am trying to lead by example because almost everyone, and I mean EVERYONE in my family on both sides is overweight. There are a few that are in great shape (a couple are cousins of mine who work at Hooters and model for the calendar); then a few that are just naturally thin, then I have an uncle and his family who actually train, work hard, eat right and do Triathlons and Iron Man and things like that. Not necessarily healthy per say, but they are in descent shape. But the majority of my family is morbidly obese. A lot of them have major health problems.
So I try my best to not judge. In fact, it makes me really sad to see anything now making fun of obese people. Those shirts that say "Recovered anxoric" on very large people make me angry. I don't know, just after joining this site, becoming more aware of myself, what I eat/do, and all of that; it has made me see things a lot differently...0 -
I, against my own common sense, have noticed myself feeling less and less accepting of larger people. I think this has much more to do with myself and my own self hate issues than with other people's eating habits. It makes me feel depressed when I see an obese person doing an "obese person thing" (I know what it looks like because I was one for 24 years).
However, I completely disagree with the OP's perception of the "eyes glazing over". I think what you are seeing, OP, is the sense of insurmountable dread that fills them when they think of the true amount of effort required to make a serious change. I encourage you, OP, to enthusiastically endorse weight loss as something that they can definitely achieve. If someone has a 'mentor' of sorts who believes in them it will become a more realistic goal. My sister did that for me, and every time someone talks to me about weight loss, I try my hardest to do it for them too.
I love this. Great perspective.0 -
Until I go to my grave maintaining at my now-healthy weight, I won't judge.
Because until that day arrives, I could gain it all back again meaning I'm no better nor worse than anyone else who struggles to lose weight.
This right here0 -
I'll catch some evil thoughts in my mind sometimes "Why do they they stay that way? Why do they do it to themselves?!"
But they stay in my mind. And I talk myself back to the fact that I was overweight, and people let their thoughts stay in their mind also. Like many have said, it's theirs to figure out, not mine to push.
To respond to the "How did you do it" and eyes glazing over- I encounter this all the time! They want to hear us say that we drank some special drink while balancing on our head, and the weight came off in 1 week. They are praying and hoping to find that one person who it worked for, so they can justify doing it the same way and making the weight disappear. They don't want to hear about counting calories and exercising. That is the most frustrating part. Now, when people ask how I did it, I almost want to reply "Rainbows and Unicorns", because I feel like they are more apt to believe me!0 -
I am not a lazy person for career or other things, but my weight has crept up and I do attribute it to laziness on my part. It's easier to eat on the run and "blame" the 60 hour work week, the kids, or whatever. I find time do other things, but not meal prep or exercise though, so it's laziness and/or lack of priorities.0
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That is funny but it is O SO TRUE0
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I get excited about their potential once they get it all together!0
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I think people are people, and there can be SO MANY REASONS that i don't know about for someone to be fat or untidy or dressed strange or acting cranky or whatever that I no longer assume that "If they only did it MY way, or the way I suggest, they'd be right"--so many people have illnesses, pain, financial difficulties, abusive households, personal stress and issues, that it can all add up to suffering that can manifest in a lot of ways--
This0
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