Am i over reacting?
lady_in_weighting
Posts: 196 Member
in Chit-Chat
Back in July last year, a mutual friend of both my boyfriends and I, asked him to sleep with her. This was obviously behind my back and I didnt find out about this till december last year. I was really upset and hurt that she would ask such a thing knowing that my boyfriend and I had been together for a year and a half at that point. He tells me he rejected her and I do believe that.
However, the months following her asking to sleep with him in July they both had private text conversations and would sent twitter jokes to each other. When we were out she would be flirtacious with my boyfriend. I knew that she fancied him but I had to brush it off.
When I confronted my boyfriend about her asking to sleep with him he told me he said 'no' to her and that I can trust him. I find it hard to trust him because she wouldnt just ask something like that out of the blue without him encouraging it. They werent even drunk. Im upset that he continued to have all this 'banter' back and forth with her after the advances she made.
He agreed to stop speaking to her after christmas but I rcently found out that she invited him out for drinks now she has slip with her boyfriend and he has added her as a friend on snapchat (for those who dont know what snapchat is, its where you send instant pictures messages back an forth to one another)
I feel he has betrayed my trust by speaking to her again.
What are your thoughts and recommendations about what I should do?
However, the months following her asking to sleep with him in July they both had private text conversations and would sent twitter jokes to each other. When we were out she would be flirtacious with my boyfriend. I knew that she fancied him but I had to brush it off.
When I confronted my boyfriend about her asking to sleep with him he told me he said 'no' to her and that I can trust him. I find it hard to trust him because she wouldnt just ask something like that out of the blue without him encouraging it. They werent even drunk. Im upset that he continued to have all this 'banter' back and forth with her after the advances she made.
He agreed to stop speaking to her after christmas but I rcently found out that she invited him out for drinks now she has slip with her boyfriend and he has added her as a friend on snapchat (for those who dont know what snapchat is, its where you send instant pictures messages back an forth to one another)
I feel he has betrayed my trust by speaking to her again.
What are your thoughts and recommendations about what I should do?
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Replies
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JBU0
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I think you know the answer already you're just wanting people to confirm what you already believe, and that is to break up with him0
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Break up with him.0
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Definitely time to go your separate ways.0
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He had time to rebuild the trust and stop talking to her, and he didn't. Doesn't mean he cheated on you, but he can't be trusted, I would dump him.0
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You can't trust him. A trustworthy boyfriend would have told you the minute she asked him and he would not have been in contact with her again. Kick him to the curb and find a real man!0
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I'm sorry, but I don't think you're overreacting.0
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Not the end of the world. Break up and go out and explore more.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I feel he has betrayed my trust by speaking to her again.
He betrayed your trust. Time to move on.0 -
ask one of his friends if you can sleep with him, then do it.
or you could just dump him...0 -
He may not have physically cheated, but there is also emotional cheating. If he hasn't made the steps to make you feel comfortable, then you need to move on. And clearly she wasn't a 'mutal' friend, or she wouldn't have asked him in the first place.0
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ditch them both!!!!0
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I feel he has betrayed my trust by speaking to her again.
He betrayed your trust. Time to move on.
People betray trust all the time, the fact that he did it twice is your red flag...0 -
You're not over reacting.
He's a cruddy boyfriend and she's a cruddy friend. I would let him go so your "friend" and "ex-boyfriend" can be cruddy together and you can find someone much better.0 -
Dump him and then proposition her boyfriend for sex. But of course, don't do him if he says ,"Okay!".0
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This sounds like "White Trash Jerry Springer"0
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Definitely time to go your separate ways.
One day love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you0 -
Let me make firends with him first, then take option 1.ask one of his friends if you can sleep with him, then do it.
or you could just dump him...0 -
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Break up then thank God you don't have children or any other reason to ever have to speak to him again.0
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Definitely time to go your separate ways.
One day love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
HAHAHAHAHA^^^^^^^^0 -
He has indeed broken your trust again and I think you should know what you should do.
Value yourself, you are worth more than this, do you really want a whole life with a man whom you are unable to trust? Will he be with you through the difficult times? If you become ill? Will he treat you like a princess or just take you for granted? You may feel scared at becoming single again but life will move on......
There will be someone else for you in the future, someone who will adore you and consider you really special- wait around for him and you will be so glad that you did. Let this man and your 'friend' get together if they so wish, you are worth so much more.
Take care xxx0 -
The fact that he didn't tell you in the first place, but you had to confront him..... broken trust.0
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even if he didnt get down and dirty with her, it sounds like an emotional affair! i would dump him..........0
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The fact that you are compelled to ask for relationship advice on MFP tells me you really know the answer and what you need to do. Sorry you're dealing with this.0
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I would never put up with that. His behavior, whether he slept with her or not, is disrespectful and thoughtless and assumes you are a doormat. No question about it- move on.0
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These two people have zero respect for you. Walk away.0
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Threesome?0
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If it were me, I would end it. But it would also annoy me to no end that my so-called friend got what she wanted...0
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It sounds like he's keeping his options open by getting closer to her... not cool.0
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