Seriously don't know what to do anymore

You poor thing. I'm glad you are seeing a counsellor and hopefully he/she can help you get to the bottom of why you are feeling like you do and how you can address it.

How old is your little one? I'm just wondering whether anyone has looked at whether you might have PND. I hope you don't think I'm out of line but it can come on even months after baby is born. As I say, I don't mean to be rude.

I struggle with my motivation too and it is hard when you have a little person needing all your attention too. I'm trying hard not to use that as an excuse any more as my youngest is now 14 months. I try to remember that I am doing it for them too as I want to be around for them for a very long time and I don't ever want them to have to worry about my health or my weight when the weight is something I can do something about and I can keep as healthy as possible with exercise. This is from recent experience of dealing with a mother in law with serious health problems caused at least in part by her weight, poor diet and lack of exercise.

x

Your daughter is cute.

Anyway, lol these videos might help
First watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDANtU4LUkc
Then watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QHHzie6XRGk

Save money on the therapist and hire a good trainer

Get professional help.

Seriously if you hate yourself you will never succeed, find a good therapist that can help you work through your mental blocks.


Stop compairing yourself to others.

Stop compairing yourself to yourself from the past.

Make a plan.... Execute the plan.

It wont be easy, but it is worth it in the end.

Also... stop being ashamed of yourself, it does nothing for you but make you feel like *kitten*

It will get better. Really, it will. Especially with your first child, it is really hard at first. REALLY HARD. No one tells you that it's hard and that sometimes it just plain sucks. However, it really does get better and the reasons for it being hard change. Eventually, she won't depend on you for everything like she does now, and you'll get some time back for yourself. I have two kids, ages 9 and 4, and now I'm able to take exercise classes, go running, etc. I never could have done that when they were babies.

Focus on really short term goals. Take it day by day and hour by hour if you need to. When I had my second child, I set two goals each day: take a shower (which I'm sure sounds stupid to people without kids as a goal, but you know what I mean) and leave the house. I had him in February so I would drive to the mall and walk around pushing him in the stroller. Got in some walking and got me out of the house. My recovery from having him was dramatically easier and more pleasant than having my first.

For fitness/weight loss goals, set small goals. Don't get caught up in how far you have to go. Decide you are going to lose 5 pounds. Focus only on that much. Eat well, track your food, and don't let yourself think about however many more pounds you think you need to lose - only think about those 5 pounds. Take a walk or do a short DVD in your living room, aim for an attainable goal at first - twice a week or three times a week. You will be amazed at how successes at the short term goals can spiral into helping you reach your long term goals.

Best of luck.

I'm not sure what PND means? I think one of my biggest issues is I focus so much on the long term that its sooooo intimidating and I feel like I will NEVER get there. I am going to try and set some smaller goals that I can accomplish so that maybe I will get motivated by those achievments and keep going.

Post Natal Depression. It's entirely possible! Smaller goals would be an excellent start. This is not a sprint here - it's a marathon. I'm losing about half a pound a week. While it seems like a very small amount to lose, it's working fabulously for me and I don't have to worry if I eat an extra cookie once in a while. Slow and steady wins the race.

Getting up off the couch really doesn't have to be as dramatic as some people here on the boards. It could be as simple as taking your baby out in the stroller around the block. Think of it as doing it for the baby, rather than yourself, maybe?

I'm with jandthebops -- the months after the baby is born (ESPECIALLY if this is your first!) are very very tough, and with all the hormonal changes, it can take up to a year to feel like yourself again. I really felt just like you the whole first year of my son's life, like I was lost, frantic, racing thoughts/anxieties in my head all the time. Think of it -- you're sleep-deprived, you're figuring out how to take care of a baby and everything is brand new, and all of that takes a huge physical and emotional toll on you. I also gained over 70 lbs. with each of my kids, and thought I'd be that weight FOREVER. I'm now wearing 2 sizes below what I was when I got married, and am fitter / stronger than I've ever been. BUT, my oldest is 9, and my youngest son is 5 years old. It took me a while to get here. You can see some of my before photos in my profile, and where I am now.

I'm glad you're seeing a counselor. That worked for me, and she even put me on a low-dose anti-depressant that helped as well. It's so HARD to be patient with yourself when you want to do so many good things (be a good mom, be healthy, be good to yourself, drop some weight, start getting fit, etc. etc. etc.) But patience with yourself is what you need.

You need to take a deep breath and remember that there's a lot you are carrying right now, and you will get there. You just need to take one step at a time, and not beat yourself up for feeling overwhelmed, or stalled, or panicked. It's all very very normal. You wouldn't beat up someone else for these same things, would ya? :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: I say that because I need to remind myself of this ALL the time.

Hang in there. Everything you're going through is normal, and fixable.

I am a mother of 15 month old twins and I know how you feel! I just recently am able to get back on track and get into a more normal schedule with working out and eating healthy. I also work full time so trying to balance family/work/and life in general is a struggle but I found it does get easier. As you know having a baby is a huge adjustment for all and you are usually on their schedule, not yours. Start out with small goals such as going for a walk 2-3 times a week. This will help and it better than you sitting around and it gets you out of the house. Do you have any gyms near you that have daycares? That might be something to look into. Luckily my boys are at the age where they can entertain themselves in the same room as me while I work out....not that they don't try to climb on me or try to give me hugs but I always try to distract them with books and toys while I'm working out. I also don't keep any junkfood in the house. If it's there, I'll eat it! If it's not there, I'm not packing up the boys just to drive to satify my junk food craving! I also take some time on Sunday afternoons to cut up veggies and fruit so that they are available to eat through out the week, it saves time. I also plan healthy dinners for the week, buy what's needed and that way I don't have to even think about any temptations. I go for walks on my lunchbreak at work and that way if I can't get a work out in in the evenings then I don't beat myself up too much.

Don't be too hard on yourself. I know it sucks starting over from scratch but hey, you already made the first step on your journey and logged into this website and your trying to get help. You just need to find that motivation to get you moving and you'll find it! Good luck!!!

It will get better. Really, it will. Especially with your first child, it is really hard at first. REALLY HARD. No one tells you that it's hard and that sometimes it just plain sucks. However, it really does get better and the reasons for it being hard change. Eventually, she won't depend on you for everything like she does now, and you'll get some time back for yourself. I have two kids, ages 9 and 4, and now I'm able to take exercise classes, go running, etc. I never could have done that when they were babies.

Focus on really short term goals. Take it day by day and hour by hour if you need to. When I had my second child, I set two goals each day: take a shower (which I'm sure sounds stupid to people without kids as a goal, but you know what I mean) and leave the house. I had him in February so I would drive to the mall and walk around pushing him in the stroller. Got in some walking and got me out of the house. My recovery from having him was dramatically easier and more pleasant than having my first.

For fitness/weight loss goals, set small goals. Don't get caught up in how far you have to go. Decide you are going to lose 5 pounds. Focus only on that much. Eat well, track your food, and don't let yourself think about however many more pounds you think you need to lose - only think about those 5 pounds. Take a walk or do a short DVD in your living room, aim for an attainable goal at first - twice a week or three times a week. You will be amazed at how successes at the short term goals can spiral into helping you reach your long term goals.

Best of luck.

^This.

I got myself together after my eldest was 6 and my youngest was 2. But I learned along the way - second pregnancy I gained way less (26 lbs as opposed to 70 first time). Life with littles is hard. Eventually you learn and get better at it, but your number one priority right now is loving your daughter and yourself and learning life together. You will find over time that you will begin making better choices - you can't very well shove a box of cookies in your mouth while giving her carrots, right? It will come.

(((hugs))) to you...

Might also ask your doctor to check your thyroid. Sometimes that gets out of wack after pregnancy.

I feel your pain I am a single mom to a 2 1/2 year old going through a divorce and working fulltime. Everyday is a constant battle to stay active and actually work out.
When I get home from picking up my son from daycare and obviously working all day, I just want to sit on the couch. I do not even want to move because I work in a pharmacy, I am literally on my feet ALL day.
And after 5 minutes of sitting I immediately start making dinner for me and my son (to which everyone knows with just you and a little one it can be a battle just to make dinner lol).
But when I think about it, my son is my BIGGEST motivator. Because I do not want to go well before it is my time, I want to be able to spend as much possible time on this earth with him as I can.
That being said at 8 pm I put him down for bed and get my work out clothes on. (I work out at home because I do not have the time nor babysitters to make it out to the gym). The hardest part for me, is actually getting my workout clothes on.
You just have to tell yourself DO IT. Even if you have been up since 5:30 in the morning with your child and at work from 9-5pm on your feet all day, just to get home at 6 and immediately start cooking dinner then playing afterwards and doing bathtime and what not before your childs bedtime.
Just remember, your child needs you to be as healthy as you can be and to set an example for him/her that hopefully they will use when they are older.
Believe me, it is definitely hard, but YOU can do it!
I gained a lot of weight while I was pregnant with my son, after I had him it took months for me to even realize I was as big as I was. But I have managed to lose all of my pregnancy weight, and more.
Also, one thing that I suggest, on the weekends you should take your little one to some trails and walk them. Even if they are not at the walking stage you could always get one of those chest straps (I honestly, cannot remember what they are called), and they will enjoy the scenery just like you, and on top of it, it can definitely be a work out.
I like to take my son, he walks very well and will run around on the trails so we both get a good work out and nap in after it.

I wish you luck, it is definitely hard, but once you start doing it you will not want to stop, esp once you start seeing results

After posting my OP I spent some time looking around on this site and trying to figure out a real plan that will work me and I feel better than I did before. I think one of my biggest issues is I focus so much on the long term that its sooooo intimidating and I feel like I will NEVER get there. I am going to try and set some smaller goals that I can accomplish so that maybe I will get motivated by those achievments and keep going.

I read a quote recently that may help with this- "Forever is comprised of many different nows".

can't remember who it was by (or if that's exactly it) but it seemed fitting for this.

Do go to a doc to check it it is a hormonal imbalance or something related to the pregnancy (adorable baby, btw ) though good luck finding the daily motivation as well feel free to add me if you'd like

I have twin toddlers, so I here you on being busy and wanting to lose weight. I was sinking - I tried WW, MFP, JC. I finally found a program that works for me, and I am SO happy. I am down 35 pounds in 11 weeks, I'd love to share info with you if you are interested. jensmyfriend@gmail.com or let's just connect: https://www.facebook.com/jensmyfriend

Don't give up, you CAN do this. I am here for you, we all are. :-)

PND (UK) I believe is Post-natal depression

It's known as PPD (Post-Partum Depression) in the US.

One day at a time, I don't even have kids and I find the logging & making good choices to be VERY challenging some days. The only way I stopped myself from going out yesterday afternoon for ice cream was to tell myself that tomorrow (ie today) was going to be warmer, and I'd want it more then. Today I'm hoping I won't have such cravings. ::crosses fingers::

I agree - ditch the therapist and get a trainer. Doing new behaviors will get you motivated. You could sit there and ask "why" for months, when the "why" is not that hard to understand. Having a baby is hard on your body, you're tired, everything is about the little one, and it's so much easier when you're tired to just sit. But....if you get a trainer, and just follow through with what the trainer says - the mind will follow. Your mind will wake up. You will remember who you are and who you want to be. Change your behavior and that will change how you feel about yourself, how you think about yourself - it's a much quicker road to transformation.