Unhappy about Weight Loss (5'7)

I'm 20 years old and I am 5'7, I fluctuate between 134-137, unhappily. I exercise, do my best to eat healthily-drink water, and focus rigorously not just for how I look, but to help my health/fitness. I'm young and there's no reason as to why I should not be fit. However, I am utterly depressed and disgusted with how I look. I started my journey in 2011, that February. I never set a weight loss goal because it started out as me just wanting to lose weight due to years of being saddened, feeling "ugly" and believing I was hideous/unworthy of attention because of how I looked. (Granted, due to years of scrutiny and mistreating- it was hard for me to feel otherwise) I don't like to choose a goal weight most days because you can look and feel healthy/great at any weight. You can be fit at any weight. Everything depends, essentially. However, where I am now, which I've been since February, has depressed me unlike anything else. I am disgusted with my body, perhaps even more than I ever have been in some ways. I hate that I feel stuck, almost trapped. At this point I can only say maybe if I am to lose 20 pounds, I will feel that I look better, but it may not be true.

To be honest, it's never enough. I have rolls, excess fat, and surely I love that as a woman we are naturally softer- however I just find my body to be very disgusting because of these things. I'd like to tone, and I know I have to hit the weights, which I do, but I want to still be smaller. I hate this feeling, and have resorted into a depressive hole. I'm constantly resorting to looking at the bodies of other women, not in envy, but with sadness because I just believe I am meant to be stuck in this horrible body. Ultimately my goal is to love myself inward to out, because I have a lot of growing to do, considering my "esteem" is unreasonably low in this way. I hate that I hate the way I look, and I hate that I feel like I never improve. I hate the layers of sagging back fat, and jiggly thighs, and the width of my broad shoulders. Now I came here to ask if I am to lose 20 pounds, 20-25, will I still have the same shape? I would like to look curvy but just smaller/toned in some way.

Also, I know to focus more on measurements and body fat, but if that weight number goes up, I know mentally I will suffer because I don't like how I looked at any bigger size, though I'm sure I'll look smaller- it will just bother me to know I did not lessen my weight. I'm sorry to share this with all of you, but I hope someone reads this with understanding, considering I know I am not alone on this forum and am able to be open/honest with all of. We're in it together.

I feel like I haven't gotten fitter, I still feel pathetic. I also feel like this weight is holding me hostage, and I still in someway want to be that beautiful/fit/healthy young woman that I never had the chance to be.

I will post more photos later to show what I am talking about with rolls, but any advice as to how to lean out my body/lose this excess weight/ in general would be helpful.

photo1.jpg

Thanks for reading. x
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Replies

  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
    If you are 5'7 and 134lbs and still think you're "fat" I'd say you have an unhealthy idea of what "fit" is. My advice, is maybe see a professional about your incredibly low self esteem and try to work on your self image....and lift heavy weights and eat maintenance calories at this point.

    ETA I do not see 1 roll on your body
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,658 Member
    OP define "rolls".....
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
    Hi. 34. 5'7. 135. I'm not fat. Neither are you.

    If you aren't happy with the tone or the way your body looks, I would suggest yoga or heavy lifting for some toning. Sounds like that's all you need! Well, and an adjustment about your perceptions of your body.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    Lift heavy weights while getting enough protein and make sure you deficit is small (0.5lb/week weight loss goal) and give it time.
  • SCtolulu
    SCtolulu Posts: 154 Member
    You will kick yourself 20 years from now. Enjoy your body. You are not fat just delusional.
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
    Lift heavy weights while getting enough protein and make sure you deficit is small (0.5lb/week weight loss goal) and give it time.

    Why are you encouraging someone who is 5'7 and 134lbs to lose weight?
  • entropicbeauty
    entropicbeauty Posts: 10 Member
    Time to go see a professional. I think your body image issues need to be addressed and I don't think you can do it alone. You are young and you are most definitely not overweight. Before this takes an unhealthy turn into an eating disorder, talk it out with someone who can give you the mental tools to succeed.
  • 134 at 5'7 is not fat at all! you are excactly where you should be. be proud of yourself and your body. you look great.
  • nadz6012
    nadz6012 Posts: 126 Member
    I would kill to be at your shape, and thus I am straining not to yell at you. I think maybe it's time to stop focusing on your weight and focus on fitness. Make your goal to be a beast in the gym. It's amazing to set a personal record for yourself, in my case it's better than seeing a lower number on the scale.

    I really think heavy lifting would bring the changes you're looking for. Your body fat might be low enough already and you just need to build the muscle up underneath!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    whatever we tell you, i'm sure won't be enough.

    your legs and thighs look amazing. shapely and strong!

    your tummy looks so good.

    and your boobs look nice too... but i'm more of an *kitten* man, so turn around please.

    if you want to firm up and eliminate some perceived "rolls" then you have to hit the weights with a proper strength training program like 5/3/1. check out strstd.com
  • Ludka13
    Ludka13 Posts: 136 Member
    According to a BMI chart your weight is optimal for your height.
  • MrsK20141004
    MrsK20141004 Posts: 489 Member
    If you are 5'7 and 134lbs and still think you're "fat" I'd say you have an unhealthy idea of what "fit" is. My advice, is maybe see a professional about your incredibly low self esteem and try to work on your self image....and lift heavy weights and eat maintenance calories at this point.

    ETA I do not see 1 roll on your body

    Ditto. I also agree with lifting weight if you're looking for more muscle definition. You look great though!
  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
    I'm 5'7 and 134(ish)... Do I look fat to you?

    You have emotional issues, it's definitely not your body you have an issue with, it's your self image. Fix that and you will be rockin' it!
  • rowanwood
    rowanwood Posts: 509 Member
    *singing* you and me going fishin' for compliments, woowoo
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
    I am saddened by your post. Mental health (along with physical health) is very important, and low self esteem and poor self image is a huge part of that. Can you please think about talking to a professional about this? If you are this unhappy about yourself now, I don't think you will ever be happy unless you talk to someone. You do not need to lose any more weight, but weight training can help tone things up. But again, I don't think that's the issue here. Good luck girlie.
  • willia123
    willia123 Posts: 60 Member
    You need to see a therapist. You have to learn how to love the body that's been given to you. Be thankful you have your legs and "rolls" and everything else. You could be in a freaking wheelchair or worse. Bottom line, seek professional help. Good luck
  • seena511
    seena511 Posts: 685 Member
    If you are 5'7 and 134lbs and still think you're "fat" I'd say you have an unhealthy idea of what "fit" is. My advice, is maybe see a professional about your incredibly low self esteem and try to work on your self image....and lift heavy weights and eat maintenance calories at this point.

    QFT.
    i'm 5'8" and 155. you should tak to a doctor.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    Lift heavy weights while getting enough protein and make sure you deficit is small (0.5lb/week weight loss goal) and give it time.

    Why are you encouraging someone who is 5'7 and 134lbs to lose weight?

    Not encouraging, saying if she wants to lose weight, this is how you ensure it is fat loss. If she is unhappy with her BF% you will have to lose weight to lower that number, unless she does a bulk to gain muscle first then another cut so she will have a lower BF% at her current weight.

    Though it is possible she is suffering from Body Dysmorphic disorder.
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,658 Member
    Lift heavy weights while getting enough protein and make sure you deficit is small (0.5lb/week weight loss goal) and give it time.

    Why are you encouraging someone who is 5'7 and 134lbs to lose weight?

    Most likely they didn't read the OPs posting and didn't discern what is really going on. It seems to happen all the time lately on here now
    :(

    just seen the poster reply, but now need to ask them, where is the fat she is to lose?
  • Tootch85
    Tootch85 Posts: 1
    I am saddened by your post. Mental health (along with physical health) is very important, and low self esteem and poor self image is a huge part of that. Can you please think about talking to a professional about this? If you are this unhappy about yourself now, I don't think you will ever be happy unless you talk to someone. You do not need to lose any more weight, but weight training can help tone things up. But again, I don't think that's the issue here. Good luck girlie.

    I wholeheartedly agree with this. It is good that you have been able to talk about your issues but your focus is all wrong, your body is amazing from that photo and you look incredibly fit. You clearly have an underlying issue with self esteem and self image, you should talk to a Dr or someone to help you work through your mental issues.
    Good luck and feel better
  • Ashshell
    Ashshell Posts: 185
    You have a great body. Your post makes me sad because I have been where you are and I know how horrible it feels. Please feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    I'll tell you this: I felt fat at 140 lbs, 128 pounds, and I still feel fat most of the time at 118. I've also realized I'm crazy, and that losing any more weight would be very bad for me. Body dysmorphic disorder is a terrible thing, and you should see a therapist if you can, rather that trying to lose weight. It will never bring you happiness.
  • Emily_20x
    Emily_20x Posts: 175 Member
    I feel exactly the same with my body :(
  • madrose0715
    madrose0715 Posts: 463 Member
    I'll tell you this: I felt fat at 140 lbs, 128 pounds, and I still feel fat most of the time at 118. I've also realized I'm crazy, and that losing any more weight would be very bad for me. Body dysmorphic disorder is a terrible thing, and you should see a therapist if you can, rather that trying to lose weight. It will never bring you happiness.

    @OP - you need to read this ^^^ over and over again.
  • RunForChai
    RunForChai Posts: 238 Member
    Please get help now while you are young. Build your self esteem, build your muscle, find some supportive friends and some great hobbies. Volunteer with people who are differently-abled or for Special Olympics.

    Read the book, How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran
    most women do look like models, even models don't look like models in real life.

    My dear, you are at a good weight for your height. Learn to love yourself.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    You could attain your perfect weight and body shape, but I think you would still be very unhappy.
    I also recommend seeing a counselor so you can begin to realize your inner beauty, value and worth.
  • heathmarie143
    heathmarie143 Posts: 38 Member
    When I was graduating highschool/starting college, I felt the same way you did. I was 5'2" and around 125lbs, and I was disgusted with how I looked. Now, after having a baby and sitting at 170lbs for over a year I WISH I was back to my college weight. Looking back, I can't believe I thought that my weight back then wasn't good enough.

    You are at a normal weight for your height, a HEALTHY weight. If you feel you would like to tone up, that is understandable. Lift weights, or do exercises that will work the muscles you wish you tone.... but by all means don't try to lost another 20 lbs! I agree with the others that say you should maybe see a therapist.... I've been seeing one for over a year for my issues and I must say it does help. If you don't want to talk to a professional, at least talk to your friends on here! You are beautiful just the way you are, and another 20lbs IMO would make you look sickly....

    I wish you luck with your journey, and if you ever want to talk feel free to friend me! I hope that you decide to listen to us when we tell you that you're body is great the way it is :)
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    If you are 5'7 and 134lbs and still think you're "fat" I'd say you have an unhealthy idea of what "fit" is. My advice, is maybe see a professional about your incredibly low self esteem and try to work on your self image....and lift heavy weights and eat maintenance calories at this point.

    ETA I do not see 1 roll on your body

    ^This. Please seek help!
  • SlimJanette
    SlimJanette Posts: 597 Member
    If you are 5'7 and 134lbs and still think you're "fat" I'd say you have an unhealthy idea of what "fit" is. My advice, is maybe see a professional about your incredibly low self esteem and try to work on your self image....and lift heavy weights and eat maintenance calories at this point.

    ETA I do not see 1 roll on your body
    ^^ This
  • lawkat
    lawkat Posts: 538 Member
    Are you able to seek counseling to help with your low self-esteem and other mental health issues? As others have said, you aren't fat. You do need some help with how you view yourself. It will hold you back more than you will ever know.