Loud farters

geekyjock76
geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
in Chit-Chat
I know loud chewers are annoying but I crave the attention. So when I fart, I try to do so as loudly as possible so everyone around me can hear [and smell] my presence. Plus, farts are hysterical.
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Replies

  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    Plus, farts are hysterical.

    QFT!
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
    Hmmm I wonder if the recipient finds them as funny as you? :indifferent:
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    A loud fartis a sign of dominance.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I have to admit, I find a loud fart amusing as well.
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,638 Member
    especially if everyone else is quite, like at at movie or church. then look at the person next to you and say "don't worry. I'll tell them it was me"
  • ACepero79
    ACepero79 Posts: 711 Member
    I like to preface the act of flatulence with either of the following:
    "Is that thunder?"
    "Wait, did you just hear that?"
    "Pull my finger!"

    Or immediately following:
    "I think I stepped on a duck.."
    "Was that a barking spider?"
    "Close your mouths or you'll taste it!"
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
    Mine are pretty impressive in their machine gun style when I'm alone..but in public it's all about the practice of the *kitten* clenching technique (anal kegels?) to make it come out silent. This way i could blame someone else and laugh.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    5hf5ur1170640517.jpg
  • SadKitty27
    SadKitty27 Posts: 416 Member
    Yeah I'd likely laugh at a loud fart. This guy cracks me up with his farting prank (old one but hilarious) :

    http://youtu.be/MZ-rwHxXilM
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
    A loud fartis a sign of dominance.
    I use farts during my bondage games with hookers.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    3 rules of being older:

    Never pass a bathroom.
    Never waste and erection
    Never trust a fart.

    Just sayin.
  • jamiek917
    jamiek917 Posts: 610 Member
    all im asking is that u preemptively roll down the window before you hotbox me in the car
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    especially if everyone else is quite, like at at movie or church. then look at the person next to you and say "don't worry. I'll tell them it was me"

    I love this! I will have to use it!

    My husband says mine sound angry. Like they are yelling at someone.
  • Lovdiamnd
    Lovdiamnd Posts: 624 Member
    A loud fartis a sign of dominance.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :noway:
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    3 rules of being older:

    Never pass a bathroom.
    Never waste and erection
    Never trust a fart.

    Just sayin.

    Never trust a fart is the cardinal rule for life.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    all im asking is that u preemptively roll down the window before you hotbox me in the car

    a87f8c94-2fbc-4e2c-99ae-4e40c0c77f50_zps4658ecb4.jpg

    Different kind of box.
  • SmartWhatever
    SmartWhatever Posts: 718 Member
    Advice to the girls here... dont hold your farts in around your boyfriend.
    I was peacefully sleeping one night, when I was suddenly startled of my rest by my boyfriend yelling "WOMAN!!! You just farted SO LOUD it woke me up!!" Lmao!! Oops!
  • branflakes1980
    branflakes1980 Posts: 2,516 Member
    I know loud chewers are annoying but I crave the attention. So when I fart, I try to do so as loudly as possible so everyone around me can hear [and smell] my presence. Plus, farts are hysterical.

    We need to be friends . . . Request sent!!:laugh:
  • VeeBethTris
    VeeBethTris Posts: 301 Member
    all im asking is that u preemptively roll down the window before you hotbox me in the car

    Jamie DON'T ever travel anywhere with my 18 year old son. He KILLS me all the time when we travel. LOL
  • jamiek917
    jamiek917 Posts: 610 Member
    all im asking is that u preemptively roll down the window before you hotbox me in the car

    Jamie DON'T ever travel anywhere with my 18 year old son. He KILLS me all the time when we travel. LOL

    im married to Senor Gassy. nothing phases me....plus... i talk about poop constantly.
  • Lovdiamnd
    Lovdiamnd Posts: 624 Member
    Advice to the girls here... dont hold your farts in around your boyfriend.
    I was peacefully sleeping one night, when I was suddenly startled of my rest by my boyfriend yelling "WOMAN!!! You just farted SO LOUD it woke me up!!" Lmao!! Oops!

    Did he feel dominated? :laugh: :laugh:
  • VeeBethTris
    VeeBethTris Posts: 301 Member
    all im asking is that u preemptively roll down the window before you hotbox me in the car

    Jamie DON'T ever travel anywhere with my 18 year old son. He KILLS me all the time when we travel. LOL

    im married to Senor Gassy. nothing phases me....plus... i talk about poop constantly.

    LMAO at Senor Gassy. I doubt you are phased by much I am just saying that boy falls asleep and lets the SBD's out and kills me cuz he won't open his window. HAHA
  • SmartWhatever
    SmartWhatever Posts: 718 Member
    Advice to the girls here... dont hold your farts in around your boyfriend.
    I was peacefully sleeping one night, when I was suddenly startled of my rest by my boyfriend yelling "WOMAN!!! You just farted SO LOUD it woke me up!!" Lmao!! Oops!

    Did he feel dominated? :laugh: :laugh:

    Lmao! Maybe! I considered it to be payback as he likes to dutch oven me! :laugh:
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    Advice to the girls here... dont hold your farts in around your boyfriend.
    I was peacefully sleeping one night, when I was suddenly startled of my rest by my boyfriend yelling "WOMAN!!! You just farted SO LOUD it woke me up!!" Lmao!! Oops!

    I did when I was dating my husband. He was in for a big surprise when we got married. :laugh:
  • PoopieMonster
    PoopieMonster Posts: 295 Member
    The worst is when you let a really loud and long one out and nobody is there to high five you :frown:
  • Svolt
    Svolt Posts: 284 Member
    tumblr_mm5nniUopc1r3zdcio1_400.gif
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    farting is not funny. it's serious business. :angry:

    farting killed off the dinosaurs. true story.

    http://www.cinemablend.com/pop/Scientists-Think-Dinosaurs-May-Have-Farted-Themselves-Death-42233.html
  • celtbell3
    celtbell3 Posts: 738 Member
    My nine year old daughter can fart anybody under the table. No kidding and no lying.
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    farting is not funny. it's serious business. :angry:

    farting killed off the dinosaurs. true story.

    http://www.cinemablend.com/pop/Scientists-Think-Dinosaurs-May-Have-Farted-Themselves-Death-42233.html

    I wonder how loud a dinosaur fart was....
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    I like to preface the act of flatulence with either of the following:
    "Is that thunder?"
    "Wait, did you just hear that?"
    "Pull my finger!"

    Or immediately following:
    "I think I stepped on a duck.."
    "Was that a barking spider?"
    "Close your mouths or you'll taste it!"

    lmfao or wink at them and say "kiss for ya"

    I'm going to scream "CLOSE YOUR MOUTH OR YOU'LL TASTE IT!"

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