Skip to content
  • Register
    • We are pleased to announce that as of March 4, 2025, an updated Rich Text Editor has been introduced in the MyFitnessPal Community. To learn more about the changes, please click here. We look forward to sharing this new feature with you!

    Loud farters

    2

    Replies

    • Posts: 624 Member
      show previous quotes



      Lmao! Maybe! I considered it to be payback as he likes to dutch oven me! :laugh:

      Excellent :devil:
    • Posts: 610 Member
      true story:

      I met my friend's new boyfriend, and she explained me and my husband as the "perfect couple" and hopes they could be like us one day.

      my response: " seriously? the other day he annoyed me so much that when he was getting undressed i bent over and farted squarely between his eyes. if we are the couple you hope to become... your standards are terrible."

      i had to seize the opportunity. my husband always has to fart--- and does so constantly, whether im 10ft away or 1 inch. i rarely am afforded the opportunity for a little revenge...had to take it
    • Unknown
      Unknown
      This content has been removed.
    • Unknown
      Unknown
      This content has been removed.
    • Unknown
      Unknown
      This content has been removed.
    • Unknown
      Unknown
      This content has been removed.
    • Unknown
      Unknown
      This content has been removed.
    • Posts: 1,392 Member
      I have to prepare myself every morning when my b/f wakes up before I do.
      Will lit. blow the covers down a few feet.
      And then he gets up and sits in his chair on the computer and does not hold back.


      It's true love.
    • Posts: 2,278 Member
      My wife counts how many farts unleashed after we eat Indian food. One time I was up to like 30 lol!
    • Posts: 1,018 Member
      show previous quotes

      I love this! I will have to use it!

      My husband says mine sound angry. Like they are yelling at someone.

      Thats called a wookie cuz it sounds like Chewbacca with a hang over.
    • Posts: 1,018 Member
      especially if everyone else is quite, like at at movie or church. then look at the person next to you and say "don't worry. I'll tell them it was me"

      Shout indignantly, "WELL THAT'S THE LAST TIME I WILL EVER PULL YOUR DAMN FINGER!"
    • Posts: 355 Member
      Anytime my two year old passes gas she is thrilled so much she screams "I FARTED, MOMMY!!!!!" :blushing:

      A few days ago we went to dinner and she took a #2 and ran outside to tell the bf "I POOPED!!!!!!!!!!!" LOL At least she's proud of herself.
    • Posts: 2,352 Member
      Advice to the girls here... dont hold your farts in around your boyfriend.
      I was peacefully sleeping one night, when I was suddenly startled of my rest by my boyfriend yelling "WOMAN!!! You just farted SO LOUD it woke me up!!" Lmao!! Oops!


      :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

      My fiance and I had only been dating a few weeks when we were hanging out and he left the room to rip one. He was trying to be discrete, but it was the loudest fart I had heard in a long time. I laughed until I cried and he was super embarrassed.
    • Posts: 394 Member
      Im laughing right NOW!. i think i just farted to...
    • Posts: 624 Member
      Im laughing right NOW!. i think i just farted to...

      :embarassed:
    • Posts: 340 Member
      I find loud farts absolutely hilarious, especially in a public crowded place. One in an elevator would suck though.
    • Posts: 1,404 Member
      My husband farts alot at night, and it smells. (Never the nice loud but odor-less ones, ya know?). I complained so much about it that one year for Christmas my family gave me a box of air freshner spray cans to keep next to the bed so I can spray him when he does it. Now his farts smell like cinnamon apple.
    • Posts: 394 Member
      GOTTA LOVE PROTEIN FARTS.. theres no escaping those!
    • Posts: 718 Member
      GOTTA LOVE PROTEIN FARTS.. theres no escaping those!

      Beer farts are pretty potent too!
    • Posts: 703 Member
      Farts are even more hysterical when you use the restroom at a public place and even at the airport LOL
    • Posts: 355 Member
      GOTTA LOVE PROTEIN FARTS.. theres no escaping those!

      Especially egg farts :sick:

      My best friend egg farts all the time. SO GROSS! Give me a gas mask please.
    • Posts: 4,123 Member
      i practice SBD in public. at home, anything goes. including machine gun style and louuuud.


      *giggle*
    • Posts: 3,499 Member
      Hmmm I wonder if the recipient finds them as funny as you? :indifferent:

      funnier....

      it sounds like a barking seal I've been told.
    • Posts: 2,820 Member
      Reporting....for duty. *FARTTTTT
    • Posts: 2,394 Member
      Mine are pretty impressive in their machine gun style when I'm alone..but in public it's all about the practice of the *kitten* clenching technique (anal kegels?) to make it come out silent. This way i could blame someone else and laugh.

      :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
    • Posts: 1,025 Member
      Reporting....for duty. *FARTTTTT

      This made me laugh so hard...:laugh:
    • Posts: 94
      I love hammering the smelliest ones out in a silent display by my wife and daughter and slowly leave the room and wait for the response. Nothing makes me giggle more than that.
    • Posts: 695 Member
      The worst is when you let a really loud and long one out and nobody is there to high five you :frown:
      QFT!
    • Posts: 4,741 Member
      fart.gif
    • Posts: 695 Member
      Not at the same time, of course, or the earth would fly out of orbit.

      I almost peed myself when I read this. xD
    This discussion has been closed.

    Welcome!

    It looks like you're new here. Sign in or register to get started.
    Sign In
    Register

    Quick Links

    Categories