Bad experience at Gym today. Need Suggestions please.

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24

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  • MsPudding
    MsPudding Posts: 562 Member
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    Sounds to me like he probably fancied you, sensed you were a bit timid and went into 'alpha male' over-drive. You certainly can complain to management but IMO that doesn't solve the base issue which is that you reacted to the situation very timidly and in passive mode. If it happens again, ask him loudly (but politely), "Is there a problem? I notice you keep staring at me" and pound to a pinch of shyte he'll back down and scuttle off when fronted. People need your consent to intimidate you - don't give it.
  • j6o4
    j6o4 Posts: 871 Member
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    Put a sock in between your crotch next time you workout and when he notices that bump, he'll stop checking you out. Also buy some pepper spray just in case hes into that to.
  • DeathClutch1996
    DeathClutch1996 Posts: 2
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    Tell management. I would handle it differently thoug. I'd probly get pissed and ask what the heck he was starring at.
  • Gabrielm80
    Gabrielm80 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    Get management on it plus have them run his address to check if he is a sex offender. The fact he didn't try to talk to you and just stared gives me, a guy, the creeps. If he was hitting on you verbally, he could be seen as a cocky jerk, but he seemed to come off a little serial rapist to me. Than again he could of been trying to act confident and mysterious like the creepy leads that are the stars in Romance novels. But than again most characters in those type of novels would be too forceful in real life and eventually be charged with rape, hence why those books are fiction. Good luck and be careful
  • optimisticShark
    optimisticShark Posts: 136 Member
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    Thanks guys !!

    I did talk to the management today and got to hear what I had already thought of as an answer from them. They said that they are not clearly able to see that guy on the video recorded, but if I see him around again in gym or apartment complex, then I should let them know and they will think of something.
  • optimisticShark
    optimisticShark Posts: 136 Member
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    I don't have any friends in this apartment complex. This is such a quiet place.

    Although I did see some girls working out at my time last week. I will definitely make them friends if I see them again.
    As others have said I would definitely report the incident. Also confronting him might have worked as well. Another option is to invite a friend over to work out with you. Not only will you feel safer but it is more fun with a friend along! Another option if you have a blue tooth phone is to call and talk with some one or just pretend to. Just a few thoughts. I hope everything works out for you hunn! You have every right to feel safe and comfortable while working out! Good luck :tongue:
  • optimisticShark
    optimisticShark Posts: 136 Member
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    From now on you should go to the gym with some protection. I suggest a personal body alarm, mace/pepper spray, box cutter in your pocket or waistband of your pants, whistle. Also practice your meanest mug (face) in the mirror. Most times I walk around with such a look on my face that people think twice about approaching me about anything! Report it to your building management.

    Liked the pepper spray idea and the box cutter idea. I should keep them along.
  • astrampe
    astrampe Posts: 2,169 Member
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    stop wearing extremely tight yoga pants that shows your camel toe?

    Are you quite sure the Op is not talking about you?? Although if this was your attempt at being creepy or funny, it's rather pathetic....
  • optimisticShark
    optimisticShark Posts: 136 Member
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    He probably has seen you around and knows that you are foreign and single. If he senses that you are timid, it may be like blood to a lion. Make your complaint to management, and do not be intimidated by him BUT at the same time take precautions in all of your movements. I would also tell management that the guy makes you feel unsafe and if he continues to be a "menace" you may need to move, either to a different unit or a new complex. Follow-up with written correspondence, mail return receipt requested. Don't hesitate to get law enforcement involved if needed.

    Even I sensed the same thing. But my management wasn't very co-operative today. May be its better that I keep the discussion happened in written.

    I did talk to them about apartment changing thing, but they said we need to make sure first if he is your neighbor and if you see him around then we will take that decision.
  • optimisticShark
    optimisticShark Posts: 136 Member
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    stop wearing extremely tight yoga pants that shows your camel toe?

    Are you quite sure the Op is not talking about you?? Although if this was your attempt at being creepy or funny, it's rather pathetic....

    +1 "astrampe"
  • RobertMevs
    RobertMevs Posts: 1
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    Hi snehagupta984, some of the post made sense, I apologize for most the guys being immature idiots. As a husband of a beautiful wife and a father of 5 girls I dread the position you were in. First of all I would definitely carry some mace and make sure you know how to use it in the case of an emergency. It could become a useful tool to a perp if you afraid to use it. I would never have something like a box cutter unless you’re prepared to use it and deal with the courts trying to defend yourself and justify using it. If any of my girls were in that situation I would tell them to let the guy know that you noticed him by looking right back at him, look around to see if there's something near you that he's staring at, and then say What??? I think this will blow away his fantasy that you’re attracted to him and want him to "take you". It sounds like he's some perv fantasizing that you want him. Once your firm with him he'll probably crawl back home to his pathetic life. Try to mix up your workouts like a walk (daytime, lunchtime) at the park or with some co workers. Don't forget your doing something for you and your accomplishing something you desire and nobody should interfere with your goals. Good Luck
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    stop wearing extremely tight yoga pants that shows your camel toe?

    Right, because
    a) you were there, so you know what OP was wearing, and
    b) it's always the woman's fault when she gets creeped on.

    I'm so glad to hear that avoiding extremely creepy/potentially dangerous situations is as simple as changing the pants I wear! Thanks for the clearing that up!
  • bostonwolf
    bostonwolf Posts: 3,038 Member
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    Maybe you overreacted a bit? Maybe not... I was not there so I have no idea. If you felt unsafe or creeped out and you are not overly sensitive, then I would tell the management.
    please never ever say that to a woman. many of us are trained to "be nice" and to "give people the benefit of the doubt" while all the while our creepy-meter is going off like crazy and we ignore it. i'm not sayinng that this guy was a creep or just clueless or whatever - i don't know, i wasn't there - but what i am saying is that if she had a creepy feeling then she had a creepy feeling and shouldn't be told that she is overreacting.

    <jumping off my soapbox>

    to the poster who asked - please talk to management !

    totally agree with this. She did nothing wrong, the dude was a complete creep.

    to the OP, any male friends you can get to come work out with you? Other neighbors in the complex? Otherwise I'd call security or the police. Seriously.
  • bawalker11
    bawalker11 Posts: 78
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    Say something to the manager and next time face him directly, look him in the eyes and ask him what his deal is. He will probably feel really awkward and never go in the gym again.
  • nrvo
    nrvo Posts: 473 Member
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    Eat a lot of beans and broccoli before you workout, then gas him out of the gym!!!
  • pinkpatron
    pinkpatron Posts: 154
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    Report it to your manager. I stopped going to the gym in my apt for this very reason. It makes you feel uncomfortable and gross. And you know they are staring at you, too. The guys at my gym made it pretty noticeable that he was staring.

    If you can, join a gym. Its not going to stop it, but I think always being around groups of people, you'd feel more comfortable
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
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    management and mace!
  • lexherrera
    lexherrera Posts: 56 Member
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    stop wearing extremely tight yoga pants that shows your camel toe?

    Golly, I never realized that simply wearing different clothing would prevent harassment and rape. Thanks for clearing that up for me. *rolls eyes*
  • changejen2013
    changejen2013 Posts: 87
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    Report him and let him management know you fear your safety and to make special precautions for you...such as having the management tell him to work out during certain times so that you are free to go on different times to stop further harassment.

    FYI- ask yourself if you are just scared and self conscious to begin with then tell management. You don't want to start drama over having your own mental issues about men or working out. Sounds like you are fearful you can't take care of yourself to begin with so this may be an issue. Try self defense or karate...it's a great workout too!
  • roodawgy
    roodawgy Posts: 4 Member
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    Sneha, unfortunately such things are a reality in the United States as much as it is in India.

    However, what is different (especially if you live in the Northeast United States) is that the "blame the victim" culture is much less. I say file a report with the management, and if action isn't proper, then file a report with police regarding the negligent management.

    From an Indian-American with close ties to the homeland and a love for working out :)

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