Jeeeeeese give yourselves a break!

Hardly anyone that's on here can seem to ever enjoy themselves properly!

Not me. On Easter Sunday, which also happened to be my birthday, I ate a light breakfast, very light breakfast, then pigged out during my birthday meal in the restaurant later that evening. I did not go over my calories :drinker:

AMEN!!!!!!!!!

I enjoy myself I am good all the time, I workout regularly, if I see something i want or it's a special occasion I eat all the food

I had a bbq and a number of beers with my boyfriend last weekend, pretty much ate what I wanted (though lees carbs more meat!) and still lost 2lbs this week by being careful the rest of the week!

I had a BBQ last Friday and 2 of the 4 people there didn't eat anything. It's so rude, I wish they hadn't bothered!

You only enjoy your friends if they are eating? Sounds like you need different friends...or you need to be a better one.

AAAAA-Freaking-Men.

Everything in moderation! HAVE tasty treats! I get to each something naughty every day as long as it's a small portion. (2 double stuf oreos/milk or a mini ice cream sammich usually) I find that actually keeps me from binging and I don't crave sweets as much as I used to.

We watch what we eat pretty closely, but when we went on vacation a couple of weeks ago my daughter and her girlfriend had an itinerary planned for us that pretty much centered around great places to eat in Kansas City. We pretty much ate our weight in food (and I mean thousands of calories every day). We were expecting to gain, and were just hoping it would be no more than ten pounds or so, including water weight from higher salt contents. I weighed 4.5 lbs more when we got home, and hubby weighted almost 9 lbs. more. It only took us a week to take it back off, plus a little more. We planned for it, we expected it, and we took it in stride. It was so much more fun than ruining the girls' plans and depriving ourselves on vacation.

Special occasions are bound to come along. We should be glad we have family and friends to share them with.

They're having trouble with moderation - it's amazing how they're trying so hard to lose weight, but they're actually sabotaging themselves by not realizing that these changes need to be long-term. Are they going to not every at every special occasion ever? Eventually, it's gonna bite them in the butt because "cracking and eating tons" on one occasion is way worse for long-term success than "having a little bit extra but not overdoing it"

The problem is that there is *always* a special occasion, and your friends were probably very worried about "backsliding". I know I am after all the effort that I put in. If you "lived a little" every time someone else wanted you to it would put you right back where you started.

yes but my point was why bother coming??? It was a waste and there are starving people around the world!

Why bother coming? To enjoy the companionship of others, maybe? Sometimes it does feel like there are constant BBQs, birthday parties, holiday parties, special dinners, etc and indulging all the time is what got us in this situation in the first place. Yet you don't want to stay locked up in your house and never see friends and family just because you're trying to lose weight. I understand where you're annoyed, but give these people a tiny break.

I think once you've gotten into the routine of things it's great to start incorporating fun events where you can eat higher caloric foods in moderation. However, in the beginning first weeks some people really can't discern what is a special occasion and how often it should happen. In the beginning, you might celebrate getting a good grade with a favorite 1000 calorie meal from a restaurant or maybe eat to release stress after a long hard week, and as a beginner it might be difficult to see how quickly all of those small indulgences add up. I know that's how it was for me at least.

Generally I would advise dieters to take a look at their goals and determine how often and for what specific and worthwhile occasions you can officially take a cheat, and STICK to it. That's what's important - not straying from your goals because those little, less important "I deserve to cheat" or "I need to cheat" days REALLY do add up quickly. Maybe this a bit off track the point you made about etiquette but I thought it was worthwhile

Yes. Treating yourself once in a while is fine and I recommend it. It actually keeps you from getting crazy cravings for things you have decided you will never eat again. If you keep the portions reasonable, it's no big impact at all in a week. I figure one out of 21 meals is a bit over - not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

IMO they were not wrong to try and control their intake, but where they went wrong was whining and complaining about it. Nothing like ruining everyone's good time by being miserable and sharing your misery with those around you at a special event. I can see why you were irked.

I personally think it's ok to ask for advice on MFP forums about how to balance out special events and fit them into your new lifestyle. Someone just starting out or struggling to balance may need to handle a special event differently than those of us who have been at this awhile. It takes time to figure it out, and that's what we are here for, to support one another. I also think it depends on how often these "special events" come along and the magnitude of the event (a bbq with friends that you have once a month compared to a wedding, perhaps). Each of us needs to decide how to fit these things into our healthy lifestyle.

That said, if you are going to a special event and have decided you don't want to splurge, I advise you to keep your mouth shut about your decision, don't wear a long face and act all deprived! It is fairly simple to politely decline a treat with a "no, thank you. I am good for now." Or take it but only eat a little bit and quietly dispose of the rest. If it is a potluck or BYOB, bring something you know you can/will eat on your plan and help yourself to that. I have done these things with success and have gotten very few negative comments. Your relatives and friends for the most part are focused on having a good time, not monitoring your intake, if you don't make a big deal about it, chances are they won't even notice!

Just my 2 cents...

Ummmm! Wait a minute... A person should partake in foods you've prepared, even though those foods are not foods they are comfortable adding to their intake? I'm not on board with this thinking at all.

Do you expect alcoholics who've quit drinking to share your wine with you too?

As a host, when I'm expecting friends who have particular dietary needs, I try to make sure I include choices that fit within those needs, I've always thought that was what a good friend and host does.

I have friends who are vegetarians, vegans, pescetarians, diabetics, friends with celiac disease, recovering alcoholics, a family member with diverticulosis (Which can lead to diverticulitis), etc... If I'm hosting an event, I want to ensure that my loved ones who are attending will be comfortable and have food and drink options that fit their lifestyle needs and choices.