Jeeeeeese give yourselves a break!

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  • JenHall3310
    JenHall3310 Posts: 13 Member
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    Everyone deserves a treat now and then. It's not about starving yourself. It's about moderation!
  • beckyboop712
    beckyboop712 Posts: 383 Member
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    Yeah, I've been freaking out all week because of a couple events that I'm attending tomorrow....But this morning I realized, I've been good this week, I've put in some extra effort this week, and I will going to a short run before it all starts tomorrow and a long run on Sunday. I deserve it!
  • redwingsfan6712
    redwingsfan6712 Posts: 81 Member
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    Today is my first wedding anniversary. Hubby is taking me out for a surprise dinner. We won't be working out tonight either. I have had oatmeal with berries for breakfast and will have my salad with a small pork loin chop for lunch but after that, I'm NOT counting anything or worrying about what I eat. If we have appetizers, dessert and wine, so be it. It's once a year and I'll do the same on my birthday as well. Special occasions call for a treat and you shouldn't feel guilty about it ever!
  • SlinkySpencer
    SlinkySpencer Posts: 139 Member
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    I agree, OP. And learning to loosen up is part of having a healthier relationship with food. If folks miss out on life's special occasions, after a while most of them start to resent their diet. I, for one, have taken the strict path before and it didn't work out for me (obviously).
  • BigGuy47
    BigGuy47 Posts: 1,768 Member
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    I went on a date night earlier this week with my wife (her birthday). For dessert we had something called Beaver Balls, it's basically deep fried brownies.

    http://beavershouston.com/?products=test-lunch

    I have no idea how many calories are in Beaver Balls. I don't care. It was decadent and delicious.
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
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    I went on a date night earlier this week with my wife (her birthday). For dessert we had something called Beaver Balls, it's basically deep fried brownies.

    http://beavershouston.com/?products=test-lunch

    I have no idea how many calories are in Beaver Balls. I don't care. It was decadent and delicious.

    OMG THOSE THINGS ARE AMAZING. I may have ordered seconds the time I went....
  • yuliyax
    yuliyax Posts: 288
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    I don't agree at all, if you knew that they were on a diet you could of prepared turkey burgers, grilled veggies (if you are wanted to be a good hostess, I am not saying you have to)
    What if your friends were vegetarian or had high cholesterol and didn't eat the BBQ, would you think they were rude too? They showed up to spend time with you, I think pressuring your friends to eat unhealthy foods is out of order.
  • peleroja
    peleroja Posts: 3,979 Member
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    Food is not the only way to enjoy oneself. And that's how lots of us got big in the first place, using food as a treat or a socialisation tool. But there are other ways to have a good time.

    ETA: Beaver Balls?! That is the dirtiest dessert name I've heard in a long time. :laugh: :bigsmile:
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
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    Hardly anyone that's on here can seem to ever enjoy themselves properly!

    You are correct, we can't we're hungry. lol
  • VanessaGS
    VanessaGS Posts: 514 Member
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    I guess some people just don't have the same self control. If they chose not to eat then why worry about it as long as your doing what's best for you. I do eat like crazy on special occasions but it doesn't mean I don't regret that hurting tummy later. I just work out harder the next day and I feel guilt free.
  • Anthonydaman
    Anthonydaman Posts: 854 Member
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    Agreed, life is good, enjoy it!
  • VanessaGS
    VanessaGS Posts: 514 Member
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    Today is my first wedding anniversary. Hubby is taking me out for a surprise dinner. We won't be working out tonight either. I have had oatmeal with berries for breakfast and will have my salad with a small pork loin chop for lunch but after that, I'm NOT counting anything or worrying about what I eat. If we have appetizers, dessert and wine, so be it. It's once a year and I'll do the same on my birthday as well. Special occasions call for a treat and you shouldn't feel guilty about it ever!

    Completely agree. I always plan my morning meals a little better if I know I'm gonna pig out at night. Works wonders as long as it's not an every day routine.
  • Ashshell
    Ashshell Posts: 185
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    I had a BBQ last Friday and 2 of the 4 people there didn't eat anything. It's so rude, I wish they hadn't bothered!
    You only enjoy your friends if they are eating? Sounds like you need different friends...or you need to be a better one.

    No i hosted a bbq, and invited them, turning up drinking my beer and leaving and moaning they were on a diet....

    Sooo...they weren't worried about the calories in the beer, but were concerned about the calories in the food? Maybe you're a bad cook.

    I do agree that moderation is key and there is nothing wrong with enjoying a meal without counting calories every now and then. But...I am also aware that I don't know every detail of what someone else has going on. Maybe your friends wanted to splurge the following day instead of at your BBQ. Maybe they splurged the day before. Maybe they had just started their "diet" and didn't want to screw up so soon. I know I avoided screwing up for the first few weeks because I wanted to get on track and form new habits before allowing myself a bit a leeway.
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
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    Everyone sees food differently. Deserving a break, a cheat day, holiday, birthday, going over - whatever you want to call it, is not a requirement to blow up your daily or weekly caloric intake.

    Keep in mind a lot of people are here because they can't easily control their eating. For us, food is necessary for our existence, not a reason to party. If I want to have a great time, I'll be running a 10K.
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
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    The problem is that there is *always* a special occasion, and your friends were probably very worried about "backsliding". I know I am after all the effort that I put in. If you "lived a little" every time someone else wanted you to it would put you right back where you started.

    ^This.

    When I was sticking to a specific program, I had less than one meal a month that was out of plan. Most of the time, even at a BBQ, I could stick to my plan. I would make exceptions for things like something my mother baked at our family's holiday dinner... but most simple get-togethers would not warrant me going off-plan.

    Rarely, I had a friend give me grief for not eating whatever it was she baked or cooked... I tried to explain that not every get together could be considered a special occasion. She would say things like "You deserve a treat." No, I didn't. I deserved to be able to make my own good decisions, actually, without feeling badly about them. Truth be told, I found myself accepting less of her invitations during that time. I didn't feel like getting pressured about, or having to justify, my choices.

    OP: You may feel like your party was a good enough reason for your friends to go off-plan, but they obviously did not. Try not to get too emotionally wrapped up in that. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them, and their goals. If they are good friends to you, just support their decisions as best you can. You do your thing, and let them do theirs.
  • rowanwood
    rowanwood Posts: 510 Member
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    IMO they were not wrong to try and control their intake, but where they went wrong was whining and complaining about it. Nothing like ruining everyone's good time by being miserable and sharing your misery with those around you at a special event. I can see why you were irked.

    I personally think it's ok to ask for advice on MFP forums about how to balance out special events and fit them into your new lifestyle. Someone just starting out or struggling to balance may need to handle a special event differently than those of us who have been at this awhile. It takes time to figure it out, and that's what we are here for, to support one another. I also think it depends on how often these "special events" come along and the magnitude of the event (a bbq with friends that you have once a month compared to a wedding, perhaps). Each of us needs to decide how to fit these things into our healthy lifestyle.

    That said, if you are going to a special event and have decided you don't want to splurge, I advise you to keep your mouth shut about your decision, don't wear a long face and act all deprived! It is fairly simple to politely decline a treat with a "no, thank you. I am good for now." Or take it but only eat a little bit and quietly dispose of the rest. If it is a potluck or BYOB, bring something you know you can/will eat on your plan and help yourself to that. I have done these things with success and have gotten very few negative comments. Your relatives and friends for the most part are focused on having a good time, not monitoring your intake, if you don't make a big deal about it, chances are they won't even notice!

    Just my 2 cents...

    This is a smart person.
  • SDkitty
    SDkitty Posts: 446 Member
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    While I agree completely that people should eat what they want and do the work to make them happy with their bodies, I believe your logic is flawed. Everyone has different eating habits, whether they are on a diet or not. My mother-in-law is allergic to gluten. If I have invited her to a function I make sure there is something available for her because that is the host's job. If you they are your friends and you were aware of their diet, why would you try to make them eat food they are not currently eating? By the sound of your comment that "they don't need to diet" it sounds like perhaps you were being a little judgy and perhaps unhappy with yourself for eating that food?

    Also, since when is there not halfway diet friendly food at a BBQ? You can quite easily create a wonderful BBQ with leaner foods, veggies, grill chicken, even burgers aren't that bad if you skip the high fat condiments.
  • LilynEdensmom
    LilynEdensmom Posts: 612 Member
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    Amen...Personally I have one built in cheat day (where I work out twice so I don't go over to bad) and whatever day of the week I have something special coming up I enjoy myself and food if I go over big deal if I don't great.

    People have to be willing to live to enjoy life and to stop worrying about every thing every day...Live alittle .
  • RunningForeverMama
    RunningForeverMama Posts: 261 Member
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    The problem is that there is *always* a special occasion, and your friends were probably very worried about "backsliding". I know I am after all the effort that I put in. If you "lived a little" every time someone else wanted you to it would put you right back where you started.

    I guess it's all relative then. I agree with the OP but I only have one BBQ/gathering on my calendar for this summer so far so I'm not really worried about it. I have been called a hermit though. :laugh:
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
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    Jeeeeeeeese OP, stop being so sensitive about what other people eat or not. It's none of your business. You're offended because 2 people didn't want your food? Boohoo! Maybe they didn't have time to go to the gym before and after your party. Maybe they just don't to eat your food because to them it's not worth it. Maybe they "live a little" but they prefer "cheating" on chocolate than BBQ food.... Who knows? Not you. So just let them do what they want.

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