Jeeeeeese give yourselves a break!
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Everyone deserves a treat now and then. It's not about starving yourself. It's about moderation!0
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Yeah, I've been freaking out all week because of a couple events that I'm attending tomorrow....But this morning I realized, I've been good this week, I've put in some extra effort this week, and I will going to a short run before it all starts tomorrow and a long run on Sunday. I deserve it!0
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Today is my first wedding anniversary. Hubby is taking me out for a surprise dinner. We won't be working out tonight either. I have had oatmeal with berries for breakfast and will have my salad with a small pork loin chop for lunch but after that, I'm NOT counting anything or worrying about what I eat. If we have appetizers, dessert and wine, so be it. It's once a year and I'll do the same on my birthday as well. Special occasions call for a treat and you shouldn't feel guilty about it ever!0
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I agree, OP. And learning to loosen up is part of having a healthier relationship with food. If folks miss out on life's special occasions, after a while most of them start to resent their diet. I, for one, have taken the strict path before and it didn't work out for me (obviously).0
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I went on a date night earlier this week with my wife (her birthday). For dessert we had something called Beaver Balls, it's basically deep fried brownies.
http://beavershouston.com/?products=test-lunch
I have no idea how many calories are in Beaver Balls. I don't care. It was decadent and delicious.0 -
I went on a date night earlier this week with my wife (her birthday). For dessert we had something called Beaver Balls, it's basically deep fried brownies.
http://beavershouston.com/?products=test-lunch
I have no idea how many calories are in Beaver Balls. I don't care. It was decadent and delicious.
OMG THOSE THINGS ARE AMAZING. I may have ordered seconds the time I went....0 -
I don't agree at all, if you knew that they were on a diet you could of prepared turkey burgers, grilled veggies (if you are wanted to be a good hostess, I am not saying you have to)
What if your friends were vegetarian or had high cholesterol and didn't eat the BBQ, would you think they were rude too? They showed up to spend time with you, I think pressuring your friends to eat unhealthy foods is out of order.0 -
Food is not the only way to enjoy oneself. And that's how lots of us got big in the first place, using food as a treat or a socialisation tool. But there are other ways to have a good time.
ETA: Beaver Balls?! That is the dirtiest dessert name I've heard in a long time. :laugh: :bigsmile:0 -
Hardly anyone that's on here can seem to ever enjoy themselves properly!
You are correct, we can't we're hungry. lol0 -
I guess some people just don't have the same self control. If they chose not to eat then why worry about it as long as your doing what's best for you. I do eat like crazy on special occasions but it doesn't mean I don't regret that hurting tummy later. I just work out harder the next day and I feel guilt free.0
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Agreed, life is good, enjoy it!0
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Today is my first wedding anniversary. Hubby is taking me out for a surprise dinner. We won't be working out tonight either. I have had oatmeal with berries for breakfast and will have my salad with a small pork loin chop for lunch but after that, I'm NOT counting anything or worrying about what I eat. If we have appetizers, dessert and wine, so be it. It's once a year and I'll do the same on my birthday as well. Special occasions call for a treat and you shouldn't feel guilty about it ever!
Completely agree. I always plan my morning meals a little better if I know I'm gonna pig out at night. Works wonders as long as it's not an every day routine.0 -
You only enjoy your friends if they are eating? Sounds like you need different friends...or you need to be a better one.I had a BBQ last Friday and 2 of the 4 people there didn't eat anything. It's so rude, I wish they hadn't bothered!
No i hosted a bbq, and invited them, turning up drinking my beer and leaving and moaning they were on a diet....
Sooo...they weren't worried about the calories in the beer, but were concerned about the calories in the food? Maybe you're a bad cook.
I do agree that moderation is key and there is nothing wrong with enjoying a meal without counting calories every now and then. But...I am also aware that I don't know every detail of what someone else has going on. Maybe your friends wanted to splurge the following day instead of at your BBQ. Maybe they splurged the day before. Maybe they had just started their "diet" and didn't want to screw up so soon. I know I avoided screwing up for the first few weeks because I wanted to get on track and form new habits before allowing myself a bit a leeway.0 -
Everyone sees food differently. Deserving a break, a cheat day, holiday, birthday, going over - whatever you want to call it, is not a requirement to blow up your daily or weekly caloric intake.
Keep in mind a lot of people are here because they can't easily control their eating. For us, food is necessary for our existence, not a reason to party. If I want to have a great time, I'll be running a 10K.0 -
The problem is that there is *always* a special occasion, and your friends were probably very worried about "backsliding". I know I am after all the effort that I put in. If you "lived a little" every time someone else wanted you to it would put you right back where you started.
^This.
When I was sticking to a specific program, I had less than one meal a month that was out of plan. Most of the time, even at a BBQ, I could stick to my plan. I would make exceptions for things like something my mother baked at our family's holiday dinner... but most simple get-togethers would not warrant me going off-plan.
Rarely, I had a friend give me grief for not eating whatever it was she baked or cooked... I tried to explain that not every get together could be considered a special occasion. She would say things like "You deserve a treat." No, I didn't. I deserved to be able to make my own good decisions, actually, without feeling badly about them. Truth be told, I found myself accepting less of her invitations during that time. I didn't feel like getting pressured about, or having to justify, my choices.
OP: You may feel like your party was a good enough reason for your friends to go off-plan, but they obviously did not. Try not to get too emotionally wrapped up in that. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them, and their goals. If they are good friends to you, just support their decisions as best you can. You do your thing, and let them do theirs.0 -
IMO they were not wrong to try and control their intake, but where they went wrong was whining and complaining about it. Nothing like ruining everyone's good time by being miserable and sharing your misery with those around you at a special event. I can see why you were irked.
I personally think it's ok to ask for advice on MFP forums about how to balance out special events and fit them into your new lifestyle. Someone just starting out or struggling to balance may need to handle a special event differently than those of us who have been at this awhile. It takes time to figure it out, and that's what we are here for, to support one another. I also think it depends on how often these "special events" come along and the magnitude of the event (a bbq with friends that you have once a month compared to a wedding, perhaps). Each of us needs to decide how to fit these things into our healthy lifestyle.
That said, if you are going to a special event and have decided you don't want to splurge, I advise you to keep your mouth shut about your decision, don't wear a long face and act all deprived! It is fairly simple to politely decline a treat with a "no, thank you. I am good for now." Or take it but only eat a little bit and quietly dispose of the rest. If it is a potluck or BYOB, bring something you know you can/will eat on your plan and help yourself to that. I have done these things with success and have gotten very few negative comments. Your relatives and friends for the most part are focused on having a good time, not monitoring your intake, if you don't make a big deal about it, chances are they won't even notice!
Just my 2 cents...
This is a smart person.0 -
While I agree completely that people should eat what they want and do the work to make them happy with their bodies, I believe your logic is flawed. Everyone has different eating habits, whether they are on a diet or not. My mother-in-law is allergic to gluten. If I have invited her to a function I make sure there is something available for her because that is the host's job. If you they are your friends and you were aware of their diet, why would you try to make them eat food they are not currently eating? By the sound of your comment that "they don't need to diet" it sounds like perhaps you were being a little judgy and perhaps unhappy with yourself for eating that food?
Also, since when is there not halfway diet friendly food at a BBQ? You can quite easily create a wonderful BBQ with leaner foods, veggies, grill chicken, even burgers aren't that bad if you skip the high fat condiments.0 -
Amen...Personally I have one built in cheat day (where I work out twice so I don't go over to bad) and whatever day of the week I have something special coming up I enjoy myself and food if I go over big deal if I don't great.
People have to be willing to live to enjoy life and to stop worrying about every thing every day...Live alittle .0 -
The problem is that there is *always* a special occasion, and your friends were probably very worried about "backsliding". I know I am after all the effort that I put in. If you "lived a little" every time someone else wanted you to it would put you right back where you started.
I guess it's all relative then. I agree with the OP but I only have one BBQ/gathering on my calendar for this summer so far so I'm not really worried about it. I have been called a hermit though. :laugh:0 -
Jeeeeeeeese OP, stop being so sensitive about what other people eat or not. It's none of your business. You're offended because 2 people didn't want your food? Boohoo! Maybe they didn't have time to go to the gym before and after your party. Maybe they just don't to eat your food because to them it's not worth it. Maybe they "live a little" but they prefer "cheating" on chocolate than BBQ food.... Who knows? Not you. So just let them do what they want.0
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That said, if you are going to a special event and have decided you don't want to splurge, I advise you to keep your mouth shut about your decision, don't wear a long face and act all deprived!
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That said, if you are going to a special event and have decided you don't want to splurge, I advise you to keep your mouth shut about your decision, don't wear a long face and act all deprived! It is fairly simple to politely decline a treat with a "no, thank you. I am good for now."
This right here is sheer brilliance. :flowerforyou:
If I ask you if you want some ketchup, ranch or bbq sauce, I don't need to hear your life and medical history plus the calorie count and carb and fat grams in the condiments. A simple yes or no will suffice.
Although, if someone continuously demonizes the foods I've bought or prepared, I'm just going enjoy eating them even more in front of that person. Oh, you think pizza is bad? Watch me take another couple slices. And yes, I'm achieving my weight and fitness goals just fine, thank you very much. :devil:0 -
I'm all up for healthy alternatives but think about the Host on the other side, and life's to short!
Fat host offers me crap food, sure I'll put some on my plate. Always have, always will. Doesn't mean I'll eat it, because life's too short to eat crap food when I don't want to.0 -
I agree!!The problem is that there is *always* a special occasion, and your friends were probably very worried about "backsliding". I know I am after all the effort that I put in. If you "lived a little" every time someone else wanted you to it would put you right back where you started.0 -
Since I count my calories, I know (with decent accuracy) how much I can afford to eat. There's pretty much no food that I will avoid, especially if it's a once-a-month or once-a-week deal. I can eat a 12oz ribeye steak no problem, as long as I understand that it uses up half of my daily caloric limit and that I need to eat light for the rest of the day. If it's a very special occasion I can even (gasp!) exceed the limit and make it a cheat day.
My wife doesn't count her calories, so she has to be rather picky with what she eats. But, she's not a killjoy who would rain on a BBQ by refusing to eat then whine about it. She would eat because she knows she can always burn it off the next day.0 -
I'm enjoying this journey, and the BBQ grill is my go to place for cooking healthy! I agree with working out extra if you went overboard with eating.0
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Well done to everyone losing weight and trying so hard etc.
but you are all going to hate me for saying this............
I'm sick of seeing people whinging about family occasions, BBQs, parties etc and oooooooh what can they avoid eating during that time and what else shall they bring/maybe even turn down the invite?
Tip- go to the gym before and then the day after! Live a little for gods sake!
I had a BBQ last Friday, loads of yummy food i prepp'd that I cooked and paid for and 2 of the 4 people that were there......didn't eat anything because they were fussing over putting weight on ( they are the perfect weight and im heavier than them) its so rude, i wish they hadn't bothered coming!
I spend six days of the week being careful and working out so i deserve a treat!
I've been away from mfp for a week due to being ill and being generally too busy, and i actually feel better and less guilty for it!
Hardly anyone that's on here can seem to ever enjoy themselves properly!
I'm all up for healthy alternatives but think about the Host on the other side, and life's to short!
I understand that you took the time and effort and money to pay for the food at your BBQ but I'm assuming you knew the two people (friends?) that were coming and that they might have an issue with what you were serving? You say they should not have been rude and I agree with that but at the same time maybe you could have added a few inexpensive items/healthy alternatives to your menu so that they could enjoy the bbq as much as you did:)
Again, I truly understand what you are saying and I will go to a bbq and just eat smaller portions of what is being served and as a guest I would not complain but if these are people you knew already didn't you have an idea they would act this way? Just wondering. Besides, not everybody has willpower or control over how much they eat and it seems nowadays that more and more restaurants and parties offer a choice or if grilling I would grill chicken and burgers? Just a suggestion. Or next time you can let them know what you are serving and instead of changing your menu give them the option to bring a dish or two so they won't be fickle over what you are serving
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Hardly anyone that's on here can seem to ever enjoy themselves properly!
Whew....thanks! Please give me the link to the site that tells me how to enjoy myself in this fashion. I'd sure hate to enjoy myself in an improper way!0 -
While I agree completely that people should eat what they want and do the work to make them happy with their bodies, I believe your logic is flawed. Everyone has different eating habits, whether they are on a diet or not. My mother-in-law is allergic to gluten. If I have invited her to a function I make sure there is something available for her because that is the host's job. If you they are your friends and you were aware of their diet, why would you try to make them eat food they are not currently eating? By the sound of your comment that "they don't need to diet" it sounds like perhaps you were being a little judgy and perhaps unhappy with yourself for eating that food?
Also, since when is there not halfway diet friendly food at a BBQ? You can quite easily create a wonderful BBQ with leaner foods, veggies, grill chicken, even burgers aren't that bad if you skip the high fat condiments.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but I didn't see where the OP said what she served. For all you know, that IS what she served and her guests still complained. Some people are just obnoxious. A couple of bites wouldn't have killed them. They could have offset it by drinking a bit less beer.0 -
While I agree completely that people should eat what they want and do the work to make them happy with their bodies, I believe your logic is flawed. Everyone has different eating habits, whether they are on a diet or not. My mother-in-law is allergic to gluten. If I have invited her to a function I make sure there is something available for her because that is the host's job. If you they are your friends and you were aware of their diet, why would you try to make them eat food they are not currently eating? By the sound of your comment that "they don't need to diet" it sounds like perhaps you were being a little judgy and perhaps unhappy with yourself for eating that food?
Also, since when is there not halfway diet friendly food at a BBQ? You can quite easily create a wonderful BBQ with leaner foods, veggies, grill chicken, even burgers aren't that bad if you skip the high fat condiments.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but I didn't see where the OP said what she served. For all you know, that IS what she served and her guests still complained. Some people are just obnoxious. A couple of bites wouldn't have killed them. They could have offset it by drinking a bit less beer.
Since the OP made such a big deal about eating "whatever you want" and "taking a chill pill" I assumed that she was talking about fat filled food like smothered burgers and creamy potato salad, my mistake if she did in fact serve healthy alternatives.
I do however stick to my guns though that you can not expect people to eat everything you want them to and I would be insulted if someone was upset with me for not wanting to eat something. If I turn down birthday cake in the office does that make me rude? NO. My coworkers are aware that I generally eat pretty healthy and don't want cake at 9am so don't care. You know that one girl who keeps on you though, c'mon have a piece, omg it's not like you're fat, god you are so uptight....yeah that chick is the obnoxious one. That's just like the people at the party that call you a p*** for not taking shots.
It's all relevant to the person who is putting the food in their mouth. I think the OP is the one who needs to relax a little and let her friends do what they want with their own mouths LOL0
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