Really hateful comment

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  • carmentownes
    carmentownes Posts: 46 Member
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    Your friend may be jealous even if she is a thin person. I hate to say it but I experienced jealousy when a friend of mine decided to start losing weight and we were always the same size. I never spoke about it but to see her transform made me jealous because she had willpower i didn't have. Anyway, your friend is either jealous or stupid. Just let it roll off of your back but if she makes comments like that on a regular basis then please address it. You look beautiful.
  • Cese27
    Cese27 Posts: 626 Member
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    O and I think hateful is abit strong,not nice or mean but hateful ?

    This. Very misleading topic title for one, and secondly, don't you think you're overreacting a little? It was a little insensitive, but I would hardly call your friend "hateful".

    typo
    Lol


    Seems as if today is touchy Friday. May its the weather affecting everyone.
  • almc170
    almc170 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    I'm guessing she only meant you didn't weight that much to begin with. I'm sure it was well intentioned. Anyways. Congrats on the 20lbs!
    That was my interpretation too. Maybe just an awkwardly worded compliment?
    And yes, congrats on your loss!!
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
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    Maybe she meant it as a compliment, and it just came out wrong. Like she was expecting them to pick someone who had been morbidly obese?
    I'm guessing she only meant you didn't weight that much to begin with. I'm sure it was well intentioned. Anyways. Congrats on the 20lbs!
    Yeah. I'm sure she didn't mean to come off as insensitive. I bet she really did mean it the way these 2 people suggested.

    Congrats on the loss though! Great work!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Yeah not the nicest thing to say, but think of the context. In a world with shows like biggest loser and extreme weight loss makeover edition as success stories and billboards for stomach stapling showing the same, 19 lbs may not seem like much to her. It doesn't take away the effort it took you to get those lbs off, though. At least you have MFP to get some real support from people who know how hard that really is. Take it easy on your friend though. You can't expect regular people who never put effort into their health to know how hard it is, or to have a good gauge on how much is a lot. She probably thought to be newsworthy it should be a lot, and was ignoring the context of that it's about that particular weight loss plan too, not just a number on a scale. What plan/program is it by the way and what was you're rate of weight loss?
  • freddi11e
    freddi11e Posts: 317 Member
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    "NOT THAT MUCH???" IT HAS TAKEN ME A YEAR TO LOSE 19 POUNDS!!!! IM SO PROUD OF YOU!! Haters gonna hate. You know that saying... "If you got haters, you must be doin something right" lol... try and not let it get to you... what a fantastic opportunity to write your success story! WOW! that's awesome! post the story so we can read it :)
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
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    O and I think hateful is abit strong,not nice or mean but hateful ?

    This. Very misleading topic title for one, and secondly, don't you think you're overreacting a little? It was a little insensitive, but I would hardly call your friend "hateful".

    typo

    This
  • fretless1965
    fretless1965 Posts: 26 Member
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    Here's an idea, but it will cost a few dollars.

    Go buy a 19 pound turkey, gift wrap it and give it to her with an appropriate note (I'm sure you can come up with something creative and not rude to communicate your perspective to her).

    Just an idea...
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
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    If you have lost 19 pounds, then you have lost 19 pounds. Whether your co-worker was impressed or not does change that fact. Don't let your pride in your accomplishments rest on what someone else says. It wasn't a terribly encouraging thing for her to say, but all that tells you is she not the person to talk with about your successes. Share it with someone who who will be happy for you.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
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    I would have said "oh I know...how much did you say you've lost again?"
  • djshari
    djshari Posts: 513 Member
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    I had a friend like that. Emphasis on the "HAD". We were out shopping and I was so excited that I fit into a smaller pair of jeans and she downplayed it like... oh but you know a lot of sizes just run big.
  • AllieMalle
    AllieMalle Posts: 8 Member
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    Thank You everyone for the support. Just to answer a few questions....

    The program is thru a medical university here. They have different programs depending on how
    much you have to lose. The program I did was a 15 week program, where you meet once a week
    with either an exercise physiologist, a nutritionist, or a counselor. I was very sedentary for the past couple
    years due to a back and neck fusion, so I had difficulty on my own figuring out how to balance physical limitations
    with calories and nutrition. I was confused by the many different fad diets and opinions, that I thought
    going to someone medically trained would help. My starting weight was 156, and I am now 138. I am
    only five feet tall, so that has been a good loss for me, but I still have 8 - 10 pounds to go. They set my weight loss
    at 3/4 of a pound a week given my sedentary lifestyle, which is improving as I lose weight and get stronger.

    As far as using the word "hateful", it is really a term used here in the south. Sorry if it came across as strong.
    We use words like "darlin", "sweetheart", "fixin to" and "sugar". Guess it would be better described as hurtful, not
    hateful.
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
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    She's either a total B or she's socially inept. Congratulations to you--ignore her and keep doing your thing. :drinker:

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