Skinny Boyfriend vs. Chunky Girlfriends

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  • rebel14
    rebel14 Posts: 33
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    This may not be too helpful of an insight, but personally I think this a wonderful dynamic.
    His unwavering love and devotion to the real "you" , your inner and outer beauty is motivation enough.
    Your personal quest for the body you desire will be gained in due time, but rest assure gauging yourself with other female body types is not fair to yourself. Your unique and special the way you are and thats why he's in love with you. Believe me your health and happiness is very important to him, so dont mistake his devotion as nonchalance. * Remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder !!!! The MFP family is behind you 150 % !!!! Find your groove and work it !!!!
  • Shaylala
    Shaylala Posts: 13 Member
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    Totally in the same boat! My husband is a stick and so is our son- I am the odd one out- chubby and dark compared to their lean blondness. 30 more pounds to go before I can even compare!
  • godblessourhome
    godblessourhome Posts: 3,892 Member
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    sorry, lady! you are all on your own with the boyfriend thingie. i got myself a humdinger of a hunky hubby, though. :D
  • cutmd
    cutmd Posts: 1,168 Member
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    UGH! i hear u lol
    my boyfriend is a bit over 6 feet, 160 lbs. 6 pack. slim. and can eat pizza all day and still look like that! well he CAN but he actually loves cooking with me and stuff.

    my problem: his portions and the frequency of his meals could feed a whole family. and he expects me to eat like him!!!!!!!! and when i dont eat like him he gets all like "ummm ok ur getting too obsessed with this health crap now .. its pissing me off.... " and im like seriously tho.. we JUST ATE LOL!

    when i make him food i try to fatten him up HAHAHA. like ill do extra cheese on his eggs and things like that.
    ummmm ya it doesnt make a difference AT ALL! he gets seconds, and thirds and im like "what the......"

    oh and he can drink all the alcohol he wants .. still FLAT belly!:explode:

    LOL, we have a lot in common. My hubby is the same way - gets upset and says I'm too obsessed if I don't eat a lot. When we first moved in together I reached my highest weight ever! But as time passes he realizes (and so do I) that I burn probably half as many calories as him, so I need to use a smaller plate.
  • sexygenius
    sexygenius Posts: 1,078 Member
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    where are you girl finding all these guys!!!!??!!! you lucky ducks!
  • OutwardSix
    OutwardSix Posts: 11
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    It's almost like we'd prefer our friends to be a little MORE shallow at times!

    Instead of, "Oh, we love you however you look and whatever you weigh" they'd be more like "...Should you be eating that? Tut tut."

    Having read the posts on this thread though, the fact that so many are in relationships/friends with the former over the latter restores some of my faith in humanity :happy:
  • lsiberian
    lsiberian Posts: 69
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    I think a lot of guys won't a girl that isn't slim and good looking because it makes them feel safe. Make sure you reassure your man as you loose weight. Most guys are very concerned about being stronger and more fit than their ladies. It makes us feel better about ourselves. Make sure to stroke his ego by telling him how much you love his body.
  • hellokatee
    hellokatee Posts: 211 Member
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    I think a lot of guys won't a girl that isn't slim and good looking because it makes them feel safe. Make sure you reassure your man as you loose weight. Most guys are very concerned about being stronger and more fit than their ladies. It makes us feel better about ourselves. Make sure to stroke his ego by telling him how much you love his body.

    I may not be slim, but I'm definitely good looking! So no worries about being the safe girl, right ladies?? You are all beautiful!

    :)
  • Christie23
    Christie23 Posts: 357 Member
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    Yeah, with flaming red hair and a personality to match... I am hardly his "safe girl". :smokin:
  • hellokatee
    hellokatee Posts: 211 Member
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    Yeah, with flaming red hair and a personality to match... I am hardly his "safe girl". :smokin:

    That's what I like to hear! I don't believe that any of our significant others are with us because we are safe and not good looking. That was a slightly inappropriate response to this thread, but what can you do?

    Here's to not being the "safe girl"!!!! :wink:
  • Kelly11
    Kelly11 Posts: 75 Member
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    Oof! My boyfriend of 6 years is 5'4" and 115 pounds soaking wet... I win! :)
  • hellokatee
    hellokatee Posts: 211 Member
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    Oof! My boyfriend of 6 years is 5'4" and 115 pounds soaking wet... I win! :)

    OOOH, that's rough! I think you do win!! :tongue:

    But we all love our skinny boyfriends, and being bigger than them must not bother us too much or we wouldn't be with them!

    I guess in a way I feel the same way he does... It doesn't matter what size he is, I love him! If he suddenly weighed more than me (which is never going to happen unless I lose weight. He is incapable of gaining more than ten pounds even on high protein diets and weight lifting regimens) it would make no difference!
  • unocentavo
    unocentavo Posts: 82 Member
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    Hey, coming from a guys perspective, I can honestly tell you it's no big deal to us. When it's just the guys, I've never heard anybody say, "I wish my girl would lose some weight". A guy normally won't over examine what we consider smaller issues, that our women may look at as bigger issues. Myself or any other guy I know, would be more apt to take this subject at face value and think, hey, he must care about her or he wouldn't be with her, instead of "Joe, your girls bigger than you man, whassup?" That would be very rude. Give your men props for not being shallow and for caring about you for who you are.

    My wife doesn't get into the "exercise thing" like I do. Its just not her thing. She carries a little extra but, really, when I tell her I love her no matter what, I don't mean I love her no matter how much weight she gains, lol. Sometimes you ladies read things into what we say, that we do not mean. You're a lot more complex than we are, so take what we say a little more positive and realize we're happy with you, no matter what and all we really want is for you to be happy too.
    I know some very attractive women who are a little taller, a little heavier than their mates but it's their attitudes, confidence and personality that makes them so attractive, not their dress size. If one is bummed out with the way they look and lacks confidence, people spot it like the plague. Be happy with who you are, that's sexy.
    If you think you should drop 20lbs, do it for you, not what you think people think about you. If any man left his woman because she put on a few pounds, I'd have no respect for that guy at all.
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
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    Yup. I finally weigh less than my husband for the first time since I've known him (5 years). He's about 8 inches taller than me. :huh: At one point I weighed a good 70 pounds more than him, even though he had gained about 30 pounds since we met. Now he weighs between 195 and 200 and I weigh 192. He's still 8 inches taller than me... but I can wear his pants and his shirts are too big for me. Hooray!
  • fitterpam
    fitterpam Posts: 3,086 Member
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    I used to be in the same boat. My husabnd is 6'4 and when I met him was 120lbs (had medical issues due to low weight, but couldn't gain a pound) and I was 170 (my lowest adult weight and the result of a recent loss of about 30 pounds). I was super supportive of his need to gain the weight and ate right along with him until Jan of 2007 when we were both at our heaviest (290 each).

    Just be careful of being too supportive. You get into bad habits and 10 years later both regret the decisions you made. We're both supportive of each other now (but he still gets to eat more than I do, you know, being a man and more than 6 inches taller than me. Even though I now weigh less than him, I look significantly more obese than he does. We went to a doctor a month ago and she was shocked that he was classified as obese...GRRRRRR

    The one thing I know is the supportive doesn't mean eating the same way. It's as unhealthy for someone who should be maintaining to eat the same way as someone losing as it is for someone losing to eat the same way to maintain. I make sure to pack a little something extra with his lunch, give him a slightly larger portion than me. AND I have to be okay with doing it....even if it is frustrating....life ain't fair.
  • daniface
    daniface Posts: 338 Member
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    Hey, coming from a guys perspective, I can honestly tell you it's no big deal to us. When it's just the guys, I've never heard anybody say, "I wish my girl would lose some weight". A guy normally won't over examine what we consider smaller issues, that our women may look at as bigger issues. Myself or any other guy I know, would be more apt to take this subject at face value and think, hey, he must care about her or he wouldn't be with her, instead of "Joe, your girls bigger than you man, whassup?" That would be very rude. Give your men props for not being shallow and for caring about you for who you are.

    My wife doesn't get into the "exercise thing" like I do. Its just not her thing. She carries a little extra but, really, when I tell her I love her no matter what, I don't mean I love her no matter how much weight she gains, lol. Sometimes you ladies read things into what we say, that we do not mean. You're a lot more complex than we are, so take what we say a little more positive and realize we're happy with you, no matter what and all we really want is for you to be happy too.
    I know some very attractive women who are a little taller, a little heavier than their mates but it's their attitudes, confidence and personality that makes them so attractive, not their dress size. If one is bummed out with the way they look and lacks confidence, people spot it like the plague. Be happy with who you are, that's sexy.
    If you think you should drop 20lbs, do it for you, not what you think people think about you. If any man left his woman because she put on a few pounds, I'd have no respect for that guy at all.

    Thank you for that :]
  • daniface
    daniface Posts: 338 Member
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    I think a lot of guys want a girl that isn't slim and good looking because it makes them feel safe.

    i very much doubt this is the reason my boyfriend is dating me. ouch
  • Heather1127
    Heather1127 Posts: 6
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    I hear you! My husband is actually only about 15 lbs lighter than me but looks about 30 lbs lighter! How is that the case with men! He is part of my inspiration because while I know he loves me no mater what size I am, and he has seen me at many different ones!

    I also get you about the weight talk! Only the special close girlfriends get to divulge in muffin top talk! Even harder when some of the girls are thin.

    I loved your outline that with every 5 lbs you get a reward! Stealing that!
  • hellokatee
    hellokatee Posts: 211 Member
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    I think a lot of guys want a girl that isn't slim and good looking because it makes them feel safe.

    i very much doubt this is the reason my boyfriend is dating me. ouch

    I agree. That was just a mean thing to say!
  • hellokatee
    hellokatee Posts: 211 Member
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    loved your outline that with every 5 lbs you get a reward! Stealing that!

    Hey, every pound is an accomplishment, right? :)

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