Where does your resolve come from?

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Replies

  • ashleyplus3
    ashleyplus3 Posts: 284 Member
    You shouldn't feel stupid! I think everyone struggles with the same exact feelings that you have. I do anyway. I guess you just keep trying and hope that this time might be the time that you do stick with it. I would tell you where my resolve comes from, but I can't say that I've ever had success with keeping the weight off. It's usually a pregnancy which derails me. Or Christmas or a few bad days, like you. :-( I will say that I will never "diet" again. I am not restricting my calories so much that this feels like a diet or where I am hungry all of the time. I have in the past done some crazy diets to try and lose weight quickly and I know now that doing that is setting myself up for failure. I am logging my food here simply to be more aware and I eat SO MUCH healthier when I log my food on MFP. I played with the idea of starting MFP for months and finally just did it one day. Can't say why or what changed to make me start, but 2 months in, I am glad I did.

    Anyway, I do have the same fears and worries that you describe, I am trying to silence them and just keep logging. Even when I've gone way overboard on calories, which I still do. I am really trying not to give up after a day or two of unhealthy and / or overeating. The people I see that have succeeded here have had days and even weeks where they go over on their calories, but they log anyway.

    I'm not sure I did any good answering your question or helping, but just wanted you to know you are not alone.

    P.S. Here is a blog that I just discovered that seems like it has some positive and encouraging non-diet weight loss inspiration. :smile:

    http://gokaleo.com/
  • Sqeekyjojo
    Sqeekyjojo Posts: 704 Member
    I stopped trying to be the person everybody else wanted me to be, stopped squashing the resulting anger and resentment down with food I didn't even like, and started doing the things I wanted to do, eat the things I wanted to eat because they tasted good and I was actually hungry - and if something made me feel angry, I stood up and said so.

    It's working for me.
  • tuathanari
    tuathanari Posts: 38 Member
    I can't really give advice on losing weight/keeping it off because while I am losing weight, I just started and I won't really feel qualified to say anything until I've lost it all and maintained for a while.

    That said, I think I can give a bit about motivation, because I have dug myself out of some pretty bleak holes in a couple of areas of life.

    I'd say I have very little resolve, I just know how to build habits, and I recognize that motivation follows action. I also don't view my actions as good/bad - I don't "fail" if I don't reach a daily goal, I don't have "bad" days, just days to learn from.

    Start small, build big. Don't worry about how much "resolve" you have for the big picture. The more energy you spend worrying about if/how you're going to make it, the less you have making sure you reach your daily goals. For example, make it a habit to log every day. Don't worry about how much you're eating, just log. Do it until it becomes ingrained. Make it a ritual. The most important thing to this process, though, is that on that day that you don't log (and it will happen), be it a week, a month, or only a couple of days in... don't beat yourself up! So many people get so discouraged from "messing up" that they actually let that stop their progress. Expect to break the habit you're building sometimes, and account for it. On days you miss, think about why you missed, and it'll help you not miss for those reasons in the future.

    Your life is a set of small, ingrained habits, and the "bad" ones can be hard to break. They take time, and action. But I wouldn't necessarily say "resolve." Resolve is for people who power through, and lots of people can do that, but not everyone. Work smart, not hard! Find ways to make the healthy option the easier one for you. Path of least resistance and all that.

    Basically, don't think that there are magical people out there with more resolve than you. I mean, I'm sure there are plenty of people who do have more resolve than you or I do, but that's beside the point. There are plenty of people with the same or less that are achieving their goals as well. I think ruminating on how much willpower you have and how others just seem to have more is what gets many people stuck, and then hearing "you just don't want it enough" puts the nail in the coffin.

    Okay, I had a point, and hopefully it can be found somewhere in all of that word salad. :laugh:
  • lauradian
    lauradian Posts: 32
    What a great reply. Thank you so much for the encouragement!
    As the saying goes, "One day at a time."
    I don't put myself on a timetable.
    Yes, I have a goal. I'll get there when I get there.
    My keyword here is "sustainability." This is not a one-shot deal. This is one day at a time, one meal at a time, for the rest of my life.
    If I need to take a day off, I take a day off, but that is a conscious choice and I own it. I'm back on track the next day, and I still log everything.
    I may grow impatient, but I don't get discouraged. When I feel impatient during a plateau, I tell myself that I am in much better shape than I was in when I started this journey. In other words, I've already won.

    By starting, you've already won. It doesn't matter whether you fall off the horse. Just get back on it. Above all, be kind to yourself. This is a learning process like everything else in life.

    Bad food is made to be addictive. That makes cutting the food out an uphill battle.
    I've cut out most processed foods through substitutions, and through what I call bridge foods, like this one:

    130219-substitutions.jpg

    Ghirardelli 60% Cacao Bittersweet Chocolate Chips were one of my “Before” snacks. I’d dump a healthy handful or two into a bowl for my chocolate fix. Note the calorie counts above and the amounts. The package defines a serving as 16 chips/80 calories, but a handful could easily contain 32 chips. Most of those calories came from fat.

    These days grapes are my after-workout snack. I usually eat two cups of them. They contain a lot of water, so they’re pretty filling, and the red grapes especially are nice and sweet.

    I didn’t turn to grapes immediately. Raisins were my “bridge” food. They were sweeter by volume than grapes and less fattening than chocolate. But a half cup of raisins had almost as many calories as four times the volume of grapes.

    The first couple of weeks took a lot of my willpower, but then my body adjusted. These days, willpower is hardly an issue for me. We still have several bags of Ghirardelli chips in the house because my partner eats them. They don’t tempt me at all, but I could eat them if I wanted to. I ate 32 chips on September 15, 2012, and haven’t had any since. I just haven’t felt the need. I also used to eat a lot of energy bars, which my partner still eats. Again, I can walk right past those without getting tempted. I turn to fresh produce, which is much more filling -- but I needed a sweeter bridge food to get me to the point of being satisfied with (and preferring) fresh produce.

    Last Saturday I had my first real "treat" day as part of social gatherings: pizza at one place, cheesecake at another. Sure, my weight blipped up. But it blipped up for only a couple of days, because I had gotten right back on track -- and my "treat" day felt wonderfully decadent and special. And that was enough for me. In fact, I've gotten so used to my standard food that I was happy to get back to stuff that was less rich and that had much less sodium.

    Having good food accessible also makes a big difference for me. I'm a caregiver, so I drive my partner to medical appointments, including appointments 75 miles away. She's big fan of fast food. To stay on track, I carry my own food in a small cooler:

    130218-cooler-and-utensils.jpg

    The cooler typically holds crispbread, canned chicken, and an orange or banana.

    Half the trick is having the good stuff readily accessible. I try to make this as easy on myself as possible.
    Good luck and keep on keepin' on.
  • llcjmama
    llcjmama Posts: 27 Member
    Today for me it was a number of things that made me so happy, it's pure motivation to keep going.
    1. My dad who is a very fit man told me how awesome I looked and how proud he was of me.
    2. My younger sis, who is very tiny brought me clothes when she was downsizing her closet,
    3. Getting 2 huge garbage bags of "fat" clothes to give away to community living. ( I found an old bra today that I had wore before I started my lifestyle change, and I couldn't believe I was EVER that big, we had a good laugh)
    4. My health has improved GREATLY!
    5. I have energy to keep up with my active little boys!
    6. I feel amazing!
    7. I have been an inspiration to others, if I can do it, they can too!
    8. I want my family to be healthy too!
    9. New self confidence
    10. Encouragement from friends and acquaintances on my change.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I have always been an intrinsic rewards person. I'm just not very motivated by outside forces or material things. I get great personal satisfaction from the positive things that I do. (In fact, I left a lucrative career because it left me feeling like my soul was being sucked out of me.) I'd rather live on a tight budget and be happy and relaxed, than have tons of money and be miserable.

    So for me, when I set my mind to something, it's gotta be something I really want. And when I want something, and find enjoyment in it, I just naturally focus on it and follow through. You make that thing (whatever your goal is) a priority. You find ways to make it enjoyable. You become proud of that thing. Other things that aren't as important fall in behind the goal. You can tell what people's priorities are by looking at the way they live their lives.

    Sometimes, when the rewards are too far off in the future, it can be hard to stay motivated. That's where short-term goals come into play. They give you little goal posts along the way where you can pause to celebrate and build up the momentum to keep it up for the long term. Good luck!
  • littlebrownbat3
    littlebrownbat3 Posts: 54 Member
    I don't want to feel bad. That's it. Being sad and lethargic sucks, and if the price to pay for not feeling that crappy is regular workouts and nutritious food, well, I'll pay it.
  • bryn10
    bryn10 Posts: 44
    I love how it feels to stand up straight and feel lighter on my toes and have the energy to do anything I want. I used to want to sit at my desk all day...now I'm the go-to person to help move office furniture/give tours where I work/run out to grab everyone's lunch and it feels awesome! For me it was just that feeling of being alive! I used to be SO TIRED. And don't get me wrong...I still have those days, we all do. But they're infrequent now. I hate the feeling of overeating and actually feeling like I can't move. That feeling where you just want to lounge around and it's hard to breathe and you feel like you just don't fit inside your body. I'm a big foodie, but I definitely watch my intake. Because as much as I love food...I love feeling good more.
  • fizzfizz
    fizzfizz Posts: 94 Member
    Thanks for starting this thread - I am keeping it handy for when I start to falter .. because everyone is human. Perfect people never have 'off days' but you know what? Perfect people don't exist. Don't beat yourself up for 'spoiling' a perfect plan, just get on with getting back on track.

    My resolve comes from injured knees. Walking is painful and I have had a lot of operations too. I prefer to be a very outdoor type who burns a lot of calories off via mountain sports. That isn't true now. But I so badly want to be that outdoor person again that even the smallest chance to protect my joints, like losing a few pounds, is a massive prize.

    It's funny though, a couple of weeks ago I was seriously considering getting life coach-style help for comfort eating because I was so frustrated with zero sport and a rubbish home life that I felt unable to stop. Finding some research that implied (to me) that my knees might benefit from less of me made an overnight change. But I would be lying to say it's overnight conversion to being a 'perfect ' eater. It's always one day at a time and despite doing really well in a short space of time, I joined the forums because it's hard.

    Don't be hard on yourself, if you hadn't made the resolution to begin, you wouldn't be asking the question on a diet forum - so well done, you've made an amazing decision to really love your body. Good luck!
  • sd_dilligaf
    sd_dilligaf Posts: 146 Member
    Best. Thread. Ever.
  • yukino3006
    yukino3006 Posts: 34 Member
    Mine was when I went to an event and took a picture with my boyfriend. I felt I looked so fat and unsightly, I was sad. Then I made the decision that I wanted to go to the navy, and they told me I was to fat and unfit (in so many words). So it drives me to this day.

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