Fun things you said at labor
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This might be TMI but here goes...
I was terrified of pooping during delivery. I remember asking my husband.. 'Did I just poop?!?' Of course he replied no
And .. Yup... I popped!! It ain't easy pushing a 10 lb 4 oz baby out!!
So glad I didn't eat that corn on the cob the night before. Lmao
I asked for an enema. So it wasn't really anything fun that I said, it was more me sitting in the bathroom laughing my *kitten* off because of what happened after the enema, with the nurse, my husband, mom and whoever else standing outside the bathroom door. I'm sooo mature. :bigsmile: Also, no epidural, because my two biggest fears were being paralyzed and pooping in my doctor's face. My gyno said he appreciated it.
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With my daughter I told the nurse to give e a very low doese of Morphine while waiting for the epidural because I have a low drug tolerance.. Appereantly she winked at my then husband and gave me a full dose... I remember my brother walking in and going I see the problem your knocked up and dieing laughing.......By the time they came to put the epidural in a couldnt sit up straight and the nurse had to hold me upright cause I kept leaning to the left...
With my son the doctor left the room and all of a sudden it was baby time...I told the nurse to go get the doctor or cath the baby her D@mned self cause it was time0 -
My poor husband asked me (for about the 25th time) if I was having a contraction. (DUH!) I finally said "No! I'm having a f*****g orgasm! "
^^^:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
^^ OMFG I'm crying I'm laughing so hard!!!0 -
With my first son I was only 22 years old. Had never been around anyone that had been in labor but my best friends sister. She was in labor 42 hours with her first and 30+ with her second. So I thought that was "normal". So, I had one contraction at 9pm and my water broke at 1:05. I wasn't in a hurry to get to the hospital that was 30 minutes away. I called the doc when my water broke and he said meet him at the hospital. I said ok. I took a bath (because I'd made a mess) and wasn't in any hurry. I got to the hospital at 3:50 and he was all over me about where I'd been. I told him I wasn't hurrying. He said he figured that out. at 4:04 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I just about didn't make it to the hospital. With my other 2 children I came to find out that I have back pressure not labor. So when the time came I didn't take my time. 3 hrs for my first 1 hour for my second and almost 5 hours for our third. I was blessed not much time for anything to be said.0
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2 med free births.
First labor: in between contractions I kept apologizing to the nurses for any inconvenience I was causing.
After first birth: "Did I poop?"
Getting numbing shot to get stitched up after first birth I said "Ow!": and my Dr glanced up and said "THIS you complain about? Labor and delivery you say nothing and you can't take a needle?" In my defense that shot burned like a mother!
Second labor: it didn't really start getting intense until the last centimeter so I asked the nurse if she thought I had that thing where people don't feel pain.0 -
"Ok I change my mind, I don't think this is the right time to have a baby. Lets go home."
During the pushing stage of (unmedicated) labor with my 10 pound son: "I CHANGED MY MIND. I don't want this baby!"
So, yep. I hear you. 0 -
I was very calm during the whole thing, no drugs either. Every time the lab came in to do blood work or the nurses came in to check on me, I always thanked them when they were leaving. During the delivery, I was sooo quiet, the nurses kept telling me, "it's ok to make noise and be loud"0
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I told the doctor to make sure she gave me a good 4 feet and had her catcher's mit at the ready to catch the baby 'cause it's coming out fast.0
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Labor for our second started on its own. I waited a few hours after my water broke and realized we're going to deliver our daughter on the side of the highway if we don't leave now since the hospital is an hour away. I informed my fiance we need to go NOW! Calm as anything he says "Can we stop for hot wings on the way there?"
Hah -- that was ME during my second labor! I was having contractions about 1 minute long and 2 minutes apart or so, but they didn't hurt at all (just like period cramps), so I figured I couldn't be far along. Matt wanted us to get to the hospital asap, and I slow rolled him, and then made him stop for Dunkin' Donuts on the way! I was standing at the counter, beaming, humming and swaying while I ordered two doughnuts. The clerk was staring at me, and Matt said, "Yeah, she's in labor." Never been served so fast.
Got to the hospital - found out I was 7 cm!0 -
My son was too big for me, so my midwife kept yelling, "Push, push!" Then everyone else joined in. And I was pushing as hard as I could; it's not my fault they told me that if he was over 8 pounds I wouldn't be able to deliver him naturally and then they told me they thought he was about seven pounds (8 pounds, 11 ounces by the way).
So finally I just screamed, "I am f*cking pushing you a**holes!"
The look on everyone's face was totally priceless.0 -
With my first, I apologized to the nurses afterwards for cursing like a sailor, including "Get this f-ing thing out of me!" I was much nicer the second time around. We'll see how it goes in about 22 weeks! 0
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My second child was 2 weeks late. I woke up at 3 am uncomfortable and it steadily progessed throughout the day. Mentally I wasn't convinced I was in labor because he was overdue and I guess I thought I was going to be pregnant forever. I must have been making some heavy breathing/grunting noises at my desk because my neighbor came by and asked if I was ok. At that point I said I might need to go home:) I went home, met my husband and decided I wanted to shower and take a walk before heading to the hospital. He was convinced I needed to leave right away so I appeased him, quickly showered and we hit the road. I called the hospital to tell them we were arriving and when I got there I was such an idiot. I was all..."I might be in labor, not sure, sorry if it's nothing...I can go home...blah blah blah". My husband was like "Stop apologizing!!". The nurse checked me and said I was 8 cm dilated and that I wasn't leaving. My son was born just over half an hour later.
It wasn't that my labor was easy (he was a 9 1/2 lb boy) haha it was that it was so different compared to my first (18 hours unmedicated, back labor, etc.). I think my brain was not up to speed with my body. I felt so stupid after that I was so "sorry" about having my baby:P
Nice to reminisce about this actually...he will be 2 on the 27th and my first bday is tomorrow!:)0 -
I don't recall much anything I said, but before I got the epidural I was having a contraction and my husband was watching the monitor. When it was done and I had released my hulk grip from the bed rails he looked at me and said "Wow, that was a big one." :huh: I wanted to punch him, but I couldn't really move so I believe I just said "You think?" or "Thanks, I didn't notice". He just needed a bag of popcorn to make the scene. After the epidural, things were much nicer and I told him that if he had been closer he would have lost his man bits, but I was able to laugh at it later.
My fiance was doing the same thing - watching the monitor and making comments like a sportscaster on each contraction. I did not have any meds or epidural for our second. He's lucky I couldn't reach him where he was sitting or he might have had several broken bones.0 -
Getting numbing shot to get stitched up after first birth I said "Ow!": and my Dr glanced up and said "THIS you complain about? Labor and delivery you say nothing and you can't take a needle?" In my defense that shot burned like a mother!
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This was me too. My doctor needed to put the freezing into 3 different areas too, thanks to my degree of tearing.
I don't really remember saying anything funny - although, I do remember having to hang off hubby's shoulders during the transition stage with my first, and slow dancing with him. I politely told him that I was going to need to lead this time.0 -
I dont have kids yet, but apparently when my MIL was having her first child her husband asked her how she felt after a contraction, apparently her response was, "Go get me a string, I'm going to tie it around your balls and pull every time I have a contraction. Then you can F******** ask me how it feels."0
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Labor for our second started on its own. I waited a few hours after my water broke and realized we're going to deliver our daughter on the side of the highway if we don't leave now since the hospital is an hour away. I informed my fiance we need to go NOW! Calm as anything he says "Can we stop for hot wings on the way there?"
Hah -- that was ME during my second labor! I was having contractions about 1 minute long and 2 minutes apart or so, but they didn't hurt at all (just like period cramps), so I figured I couldn't be far along. Matt wanted us to get to the hospital asap, and I slow rolled him, and then made him stop for Dunkin' Donuts on the way! I was standing at the counter, beaming, humming and swaying while I ordered two doughnuts. The clerk was staring at me, and Matt said, "Yeah, she's in labor." Never been served so fast.
Got to the hospital - found out I was 7 cm!
:laugh:
With #2 I was at my 39 week appointment and my Dr did an internal and said "One, two, three, four, fi...um, are you feeling anything? You're in labor!" So I called my husband asked if he wanted to leave work early or if I should wait until another hour until his day was done (he left immediately). Then we went to Target to buy a carseat. Then I wanted food because I knew they wouldn't feed me. When I got to the hospital I was 7 cm. I need to not be so laid back if we do this again.0 -
I was being quite mean. I overheard the nurse tell hubby it would be a long labor because I was already mean and trying to go natural. I came out of the bathroom and demanded an epidural. We waited for the guy. When he finally came, they hadn't checked me yet. He said he was leaving and would come back. The nurse told him to give it to me now because I was being so mean. He gave me the epidural then THREE nurses checked me! The third one finally said, "We can't find your cervix!" I (VERY NICELY, OF COURSE) told her it did not get up and walk out!!! She said it was time to push.
I had been in transition the whole time they complained about my attitude. She apologized later and said I was actually good for someone in transition. They usually handle you a bit more gently at that point.0 -
2 med free births.
First labor: in between contractions I kept apologizing to the nurses for any inconvenience I was causing.
After first birth: "Did I poop?"
Getting numbing shot to get stitched up after first birth I said "Ow!": and my Dr glanced up and said "THIS you complain about? Labor and delivery you say nothing and you can't take a needle?" In my defense that shot burned like a mother!
Second labor: it didn't really start getting intense until the last centimeter so I asked the nurse if she thought I had that thing where people don't feel pain.
HAHA! We've had similar experiences!! Accept when I was being stiched I shrieked bloody murder because the numbing shots didn't work. The doc had the audacity to laugh at me and say "oops! must not be numb yet!". :P He was a jerk.0 -
With my oldest, they gave me Stadol and Phenergan for pain and nausea. The combination basically made me stoned out of my mind. Things people said to me and stuff that happened made perfect sense, but I couldn't express even basic thoughts coherently. As a result, many funny things were said:
When my (male) nurse came in to turn up the pitocin drip, I told my mom "If he touches that pump one more time I'm going to cut his hands off." Come to find out later, they moved the pump behind the bed and turned it around so I couldn't see him come in and make adjustments.
I couldn't see a clock from my vantage point, and my husband had removed my watch, so I had no idea how far apart the contractions were (due to the drugs, I would pass out after one and then come to at the peak of the next, so they felt like they were only seconds apart). I couldn't even ask how far apart they were; the only thing that would come out was "what time is it?" My husband and mom would tell me, then I would figure in my head how long it had been since I last asked. At one point they told me it was like 10:25 and I snarled "IS THAT ALL?" With both of my subsequent deliveries, I told my husband he better not take my watch from me or I'd cut HIS hands off!!
Oh, no more stadol or phenergan for me. The second one was delivered with no meds at all (came too quickly, so whatever), and the third I had an epidural (but almost didn't have time for that either).0 -
I remember the midwife said I could reach down and pull the baby out and I thought she had said that she could reach down and pull the baby out and so I said "yes" and she said "ok go ahead" and I was like "NO YOU DO IT!" lol funny to me
I was feeling pretty overwhelmed with what I was already doing to be bothered to do that one last thing ha! 0 -
LOL, I said almost the same thing! I said something like, "I can't do this right now, it's just too much. I'll go home and I *promise* I'll be back tomorrow to finish.""Ok I change my mind, I don't think this is the right time to have a baby. Lets go home."0 -
I don't have kids yet, but this is what went down when my mom was giving birth (no meds) to me. To set the scene: my mom is petite, and I, a 9 lb 5 oz baby, am crowning away.
My Dad: Donna! You're not going to believe how big this kid's head is!!!!!!
My Mom: YA THINK!??!?!??!??!0 -
HMMM nothing too funny that i can remember ....
Just getting pissed off cause the nurse's and doctor kept telling me "give it a few more minutes" every time i told them i needed to push. I was like psh you try holding in a 9 lb baby I gotta push! then I yelled at the doc that he needed to hurry up and use the vacuum or the salad spoons cause her head was not gonna come out! even after getting cut and torn (big ol baby head)0 -
I had my third child naturally, and I don't remember what I actually said, but I was told to stop screaming because I was scaring the other pregnant ladies on the floor. :laugh:
^^ if anyone would have told me that they would've got a karate kick to the throat!!! lol0 -
My poor husband asked me (for about the 25th time) if I was having a contraction. (DUH!) I finally said "No! I'm having a f*****g orgasm! "
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
I think I was fairly calm during both of mine actually. Got an epidural with both of them (Thank GOD!
).
Son (#1 Child): As they were preparing for the epidural I told the DR that my husband WAS staying with me (they normally make them leave) and she said "If you go down, we're stepping over you!".
Daughter (#2 Child): When the contracts were coming on hard, my husbad kept telling me to "Breath Deep". My response was "I AM BREATHING!" and gave him a look that made him back up.
So pretty calm stuff! LOL0 -
My first I had a Nurse practitioner check me to see how far I was dilated and she had enormous hands. Hurt like hell so I yelled OMG you have the hands of an ape!! I think I even suggested getting she trim her nails. Ended up needing an emergency C section for that one.
2nd baby while in labor my husband wanted to know how much it hurt. I was laying on my side so I said come here.... closer....closer...closer and then reached down for his private. Dr. yelled at my husband to back up before he lost his bits.
3rd one was supposed to be a c section because he was breech. Dr. tried to turn him but he just flipped back around feet first. You can bet I yelled a few cuss words when he was turning that baby! While I was on my side getting my epidural for a c section they told my husband to go get something to eat because it could take awhile. Suddenly while on my side the baby flipped around and came out. I felt his head between my legs. I yelled to the nurse "he's here!!!!" She said oh no you just had a BM. I said NO!!! He's here!! She argued so I yelled back "look damn it!!" She looked and said gee you're right he's here. (never did get the epidural) She tore that bed apart and yelled for the dr. and got me all ready to go. I pushed maybe 4 x's while yelling for my husband to get his damn *kitten* in there NOW!!!! Dr said you want me to push the baby back in and wait for your husband? I said hell no just get it the hell out NOW!!!! NOW!! NOW!!!!!!!! Hubby walked in with his tray of food as I was being stitched up and said what did I miss? I said everything! Go meet your son. lol0 -
DH and I are huge Dallas Mavericks fans. I went into labor during the Western Conference finals in 2010. I had been timing contractions for hours when the game started. I was determined to get through it. I bounced on the birthing ball. I laid down on my back. I got down on all fours. I sat up. I walked around. During halftime, after making sure everything was packed in our bag, hubby said I was obviously in a lot of pain so why didn't we go to the hospital already?
"I just labored through the first half, there is no way I am NOT seeing this game to the end!"
We left as soon as the game was over. I was 1st in line for epidural, so my theory is that other laboring women were staying home to watch the game, too and I got there before they did because I'm only 5 minutes away.
And I don't remember who won.0 -
With my second . . . a planned unmedicated VBAC that lasted almost 60 hours:
1) I showered, got a pedicure and dyed my hair because I wanted to look good for all the pictures
2) At one point they had to get me all set up with tubes etc. because of it being a VBAC- I was peeing (or thought I was peeing) and the nurse was like "Can you hurry up I have other ladies that need me" . . . to which I responded "Do you think I'm twindling my F***ing diddle in here lady!!!!"
3) I can distinctly remember saying "Forget it! I change my mind! Medicate me!" to which the doctor said, "Sweetheart . . . it would have been too late 2 hours ago to medicate you"0 -
I do remeber Immediatly after they place my daughter yelling and still all sticky on my belly saying..."Oh look at her she so pretty,no get her off me and cleaned up... And then immediatly asking for a shower and faking like I could feel my legs to go get into the shower0
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