Obsessed with my weight loss

My friends seem to think that I'm obessed with loosing weight. We eat at a diner twice a week and I always order oatmeal or egg beaters and I ask the waitress lots of questions like how many oz of cheese and to use cooking spray because I need to log it accurately. And I try to log it while Im waiting for the food to arrive. I cant believe that that one of them acutally said," I'm worried about you And your becoming obsessed" while she was eating her pancakes, cheese eggs, hashbrowns and sausage. I want to be healthy and fit. maybe I should stop going for breakfast with them. Has anyone eles experienced this? how did you handel it.

to me this does sound a little obsessed. first, how do you know that the information you are getting from the waitress and cooking staff is accurate? and how do you know that your preparation requests are being followed?

when i go out with my friends i try and chose healthy options for me to eat, and always get a salad or some veggies. but i don't let it control me. and i usually don't log my meal until after i leave. it's rude to meet up with your friends and play on your phone.

It's called envy....they have it. Don't let them get you down. You are perfectly within your rights to eat what you like and log your food....congrats on your willpower and success. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for it. But if you haven't spoken up to your friends I would say something along the lines of the following:

"While I appreciate and value your input, my eating choices and decision to log my food are important to me. I have a strong committment to being healthy and would like you to be supportive of that."

If they still can't be supportive after that, you just need to say hey, because you guys can't accept my healthy lifestyle, I'm going to have to say adios.

P.S. I've gotten these same comments from friends and family and my parents have also made it very clear they don't believe I can do this. I now use this as more incentive to prove them wrong. Believe in yourself. Willpower is an awesome thing!

My friends never showed concern; instead they'd try to tempt me with unhealthy food knowing I'm weak-willed.

One time we were playing boardgames and one friend showed up with cookies and said "want one?" I replied "no thanks," and then another suddenly held out lindor truffles, "what about these?" "...No, no thanks." and then my other friend held out another bag of a different type of truffles, "and theeeeese?"

I gave in and had the bag of milk chocolate. They laughed at me. I'm sure they were just messing around, but I felt so pathetic and awful. I decided I wasn't going to make a big deal of my diet, but I wasn't going to let them treat me like I'm a bad person for wanting to like how I look in my body and feeling good.

A good way to look at it is the last sentence you posted, about them "worried" while devouring fattening pancakes. The three men who did that to me are all out of shape and fat. When I am at optimal health, and they offer me chocolates, I can eat one and not feel awful because they'll all be looking at me and saying "Wow, she looks great"

Your friends aren't concerned as much as they are annoyed. They probably find your questions irritating. TOO BAD. When you look better than they do, they might decide they want to know how many calories they're consuming in a single sitting, too!

That's messed up of your friends to do. I would've turned around and walked out the door. If they're trying to sabotage you like that, it probably won't be the last time. I would drop them or at least make them understand that they're supposed to be supportive in some way as my friend, and maybe not shove unhealthy snacks in my face. Losing weight and eating healthier is hard enough. Not cool!

Yes, this has happened to both me and my husband. People sometimes laugh at our efforts, reminding us that whatever we're doing didn't work before. People sometimes try to tempt, or tell us how we're eating isn't healthy, or that it's annoying that we ask the waiter/ess questions when we go out to dinner, or they'll come across as 'worried and concerned' that we are obsessed. I once walked in on a friend going through the drawers in my bedroom because she was 'worried' I might be using drugs to lose weight. People sometimes go weird places in their head, especially if they think your change might somehow effect them or your relationship with them, or are sincerely concerned for your safety.

I like what one person said about just doing what works and then hanging with folks who can support your efforts. If you find no one can support your efforts then you might want to question your methods. Plus, what we're doing here, those of us that are trying to find a new and better way, is akin to learning to walk. So it takes trial and error, patience, focus and repetition. Someday, maybe it'll come second nature, and no one, even us, will hardly notice our efforts. And, I think it helps to hang
( mostly) with folks who help us stay upright, at least 'til we get our balance.

My friends never showed concern; instead they'd try to tempt me with unhealthy food knowing I'm weak-willed.

One time we were playing boardgames and one friend showed up with cookies and said "want one?" I replied "no thanks," and then another suddenly held out lindor truffles, "what about these?" "...No, no thanks." and then my other friend held out another bag of a different type of truffles, "and theeeeese?"

I gave in and had the bag of milk chocolate. They laughed at me. I'm sure they were just messing around, but I felt so pathetic and awful. I decided I wasn't going to make a big deal of my diet, but I wasn't going to let them treat me like I'm a bad person for wanting to like how I look in my body and feeling good.

A good way to look at it is the last sentence you posted, about them "worried" while devouring fattening pancakes. The three men who did that to me are all out of shape and fat. When I am at optimal health, and they offer me chocolates, I can eat one and not feel awful because they'll all be looking at me and saying "Wow, she looks great"

Your friends aren't concerned as much as they are annoyed. They probably find your questions irritating. TOO BAD. When you look better than they do, they might decide they want to know how many calories they're consuming in a single sitting, too!

That's messed up of your friends to do. I would've turned around and walked out the door. If they're trying to sabotage you like that, it probably won't be the last time. I would drop them or at least make them understand that they're supposed to be supportive in some way as my friend, and maybe not shove unhealthy snacks in my face. Losing weight and eating healthier is hard enough. Not cool!

This, I read the whole thread to be sure no one else had gotten to it. Friends that do that are not friends. They're jerks.

I get that all the time! If I'm eating out I tend to log while waiting for the food as well......my reply to my 16 year old daughter the last time she said "mom, your obsessed" was "I'm really not obsessed........I'm old and if I don't log it now, I won't remember what it was later".....nothing wrong with trying to be accurate with logging!!

:flowerforyou: I'm with you on this one. I don't know about anyone else - but when I log it really doesn't take me all that long if you are used to doing it on your phone. Can take less time than a few texts. I'll usually say - "Excuse me a moment while I log this in before I forget".

I don't know. I wonder if everyone who's congratulating you for being so "dedicated" missed the part where you asked the server how many ounces of cheese were in your food. Questions like that are probably why your friends think you're obsessed, which I understand. It's great that you're trying so hard to be accurate with your logging but asking your server in-depth questions about the contents of your meal seems a bit much. And pointless, to boot. I mean, really, it's unlikely that the cooks have any idea how many ounces of cheese are in your food because they're not in the kitchen weighing every ingredient that goes into it. Plus as someone else already mentioned, it's frustrating to the server because they more than likely don't know the answers to your questions and have to engage in a lot of back and forth with the cooks to get answers which just delays everyone. I have friends who are like this and believe me, it's annoying as hell for everyone else at the table and a little embarrassing.

I can understand having general questions about your food (Is there dairy in it? Is it grilled or fried? What kind of oil is used? etc.). But if you need to know every little thing that goes into your meal you might as well cook your own foods at home. Because even if you specify exactly what you want and how you want it prepared, there's no guarantee your requests are being accommodated to the letter and so your "accurate" log probably isn't as accurate as you think.

Maybe just make your best guess on the food rather than asking the poor waitress 20 questions. But yeah, it can feel a little like an obsession. Worth it if it works though!

Just think of it this way: Every single day you strive to become a better and healthier version of yourself! People that are not in the same mindset just do not understand why we ask so many quesitons and log the way we do.

You can try to explain it to them once and leave it at that. Of course it's a good thing if they say they are concerned because they are your friends and want to look out for you, however it sounds like they cannot grasp the "why" of what our MFP family is all about!

Keep on loggin'!!!!

If you go there a couple times a week & you get the same things, just prelog your food. For small local chains without nutritional info, I usually find something similar on MFP and just log it as that. In the beginning I was more obsessive with it being the correct calorie count. I've learned over time that nothing is really exact. Heck, I have seen 2 different natural peanut butters with the exact same ingredient list & same macros & micros listed on the label but with 2 different calorie counts.

Have you ever been on the opposite side of this? Before your loss, you might have gone out with a friend or family member who got the grilled chicken and veggies while you ordered the burger and fries. The reason you say anything is because you are irritated that YOU aren't eating like THEM. Not to sound childish, but it is kinda a jealousy thing. If everyone is eating cookies, we find comfort in that we are all eating "bad", but then that one person has to ruin it by saying, "no, thanks".

Shrug them off and keep doing what you do! It's obviously working!

That COULD be the issue, yes, but if she's asking the server a bunch of questions about the tiniest details of her food, it's also a distinct possibility that they are embarrassed or annoyed. I would be. Also, if she's looking at her phone for 15 minutes after doing this, I'd be wondering why exactly she came if she wasn't going to interact with me.

I call it focused.

You're not obsessed. You're trying to be aware of what you're eating.

That being said, there is, in my mind, a possibility that they may feel uncomfortable if their impression is that the questions you ask are making the waitstaff uncomfortable. That may be where some of the venom in the "you're obsessed" comment comes from.

After all, if the chef uses the W.A.G. (Wild *kitten* Guess) or the T.L.A.R. (That Looks About Right) system of measuring, they may not know the answer, so the waitstaff certainly won't know.

my two cents.

1. if you eat here twice a week, every week, i'd think you'd be able to ballpark your food. guesstimate! it's always better to round up than round down. if they tell you 2 oz, but you KNOW it looks like 5oz, are you really going to put 2 oz?

2. it's rude to be on your phone when you're out to a meal with other people, even if it does take "less time than a few texts."

3. just because other people don't want you on your phone logging all the time, or listen to you ask 50 million questions about anything and everything you eat, doesn't make them jealous, fat, non-dedicated, etc, etc.

4. MFP becomes addictive, i know it myself. but that doesn't give you a right to judge everyone else on their decisions. that makes you just as bad as them, if not worse. i eat burgers and fries and pancakes and i'm STILL losing weight. i'm just willing to go to the gym to make up for it. are you happier or better than me because you're eating egg whites and whole wheat toast?

Totally agree.

I imagine part of the problem is logging while you wait. If this is a social gathering, what are you doing with your phone out? That is extremely rude, and ever more commonplace.

Try actually being there with your friends and turning the conversation around to what is new in their lives. They will appreciate your interest, and have little time left over to criticize your habits.