MFP Cheesy Poetry Thread

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124

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  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
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    i'm not going to be ugly
    i'm not going to feel blue
    i'm just going to feel better, better
    better that i'm better than you

    (do not f*** with mank. "Make sure to never do it with a [poet] 'cause [she'll] tell everyone in the world...")
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
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    Together

    Round and round, the pleasures bind.
    Fleeting moments, self’s unwind.

    Moisture pools on fevered skin.
    Trembles start and turn within.

    Looking deep within my soul,
    Waiting, wanting, knowing, bold.

    Giving up sweet minutes long,
    Beneath your fingers I am drawn.

    A sigh in the darkness.


    -me-

    I really like this one.

    Thank you!
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    As I look into your eyes
    I see reflections of the past,
    Of loves lost, broken hearts
    And tears of despair
    What is true love?
    You ask the question over and over In your mind...
    What about me? You ask yourself
    For no-one ever seems to be around to hear
    All the doubt, confusion and pain
    Who will ever love me?
    Who CAN ever love me?
    Self doubt echoes in your mind
    Self esteem fades into nothingness
    With each failed attempt at happiness
    When is it my turn?
    Who do I get to be happy?
    All the questions falling on deaf ears,
    No-one seems to understand
    Not really anyway.
    Where is that one?
    Where is MY love?
    Seeking desperately for the love
    You are promised by all the warm fuzzy people.
    The ones who assure you that one-day,
    One-day it will happen to you too.
    But it hasnt
    Just more heartache, more pain.
    Why does love hurt so much?
    Why do I care?
    It seems twisted and ironic
    Everything that makes you a good person hurts you the worse
    You try to change, you put up walls, but now youre alone.
    The pain continues
    How do I go on?
    How do I keep from going insane?
    Every night, lying alone is a reminder
    There is nobody.
    You miss the warm touch of anothers body next to yours
    Holding you
    Loving you
    If even for a brief moment in time
    Is there a point to moving on?
    Does it get better?
    You pray night after night for the loneliness and pain to fade.
    Only to find it wake with you each dawning of each new day
    You think the thought
    What if?
    What if I did?
    Who would miss me, anyway?
    Hope.
    Hope stops you.
    One tiny sliver of hope reminds you
    Life must go on.
    No matter the pain,
    Heartache,
    Disappointment
    As I look into your eyes I see
    The reflection of me
    As I look deeper into your eyes I see.
    HOPE
    As I look into your eyes I see my soul,
    with yours
    PLEASE DONT CLOSE YOUR EYES.

    -Me
  • diamier
    diamier Posts: 66 Member
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    I didn't know that mfp has so many poets. All people here look too busy building muscles, losing weight for any artistic work, but here I am - mistaken again!:flowerforyou: :drinker: :bigsmile:
  • diamier
    diamier Posts: 66 Member
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    I'm wrote this one in another poetry thread. It's a personal favorite of mine... I'm not a poet, and I know it.

    Dr. Oz
    ~~~~~~
    He comes to me,
    Smelling of raspberry ketones,
    Telling me my apple juice is poison.
    He smiles and says,
    "Trust me, I'm a doctor."
    He is Oprah's doctor, so I must believe.
    He once was respected,
    A cardiothoracic surgeon.
    Now, he just quacks.

    Good one.
  • downsizinghoss
    downsizinghoss Posts: 1,035 Member
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    Wrote this in January for the newbies.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/downsizinghoss/view/journeyman-s-song-of-january-476238

    Journeyman's song of January


    The new year has brought determination anew.
    He has vowed to enter the company of few.

    The battle of the bulge is on yet again.
    To fight the evil and decadence of all past sin.

    The waist has expanded to quite a great length.
    His wind has departed along with his strength.

    so the music doth blast through the headphones so shiny
    as the journeyman pedges to lose the great hiney.

    He has searched the web for answers, near and far
    bought the gym membership, found a smoothie bar.

    The journey has begun, the effort in earnest.
    He eats breakfast early to fire up his furnace.

    the carbs have been shunned, no flour for him
    DVDs have been purchased for when there's no gym.

    He enters the gym, the temple of exertion
    this time he means it, there will be no desertion.

    The sweat it comes freely as he pushes along
    the music cranked up to his favorite fast song.

    The problem it seems comes from his own pace
    It has been 4 whole days, but no change in his face.

    So he looks for the answers as seen on TV
    The juicers, the ketones, the body by V.

    He goes to the programs to target his belly,
    He skips all the sugars and avoids even jelly.

    Maybe there is hope, how about shakeology?
    or one of those courses of liquid proctology?

    He eats a banana and is riddled with guilt.
    with mistakes like these, he will never be built.

    He knows now why he is doomed to be fat.
    He is quite big boned, no way around that.

    This can't possibly work. he sobs and he quakes.
    What should I do, being a special snowflake?

    But then he takes solace as it hits him like that.
    He is doing just fine, muscle weighs more than fat!

    It is obvious now, he needs not be sulky.
    He should probably slow down. Who wants to be bulky?

    His shake weight, his zumba, his work on his core.
    With all of these options he could never get bored.

    He works and he sweats. He cuts out all dairy.
    Where the hell has she gone, the weight loss fairy?

    Two pounds in a week, I have seen the show.
    Less than 10 pounds and you might as well go.

    So the winter moves forward. February is here.
    Well this isn't working....

    maybe next year.
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
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    Wrote this in January for the newbies.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/downsizinghoss/view/journeyman-s-song-of-january-476238

    Journeyman's song of January


    The new year has brought determination anew.
    He has vowed to enter the company of few.

    The battle of the bulge is on yet again.
    To fight the evil and decadence of all past sin.

    The waist has expanded to quite a great length.
    His wind has departed along with his strength.

    so the music doth blast through the headphones so shiny
    as the journeyman pedges to lose the great hiney.

    He has searched the web for answers, near and far
    bought the gym membership, found a smoothie bar.

    The journey has begun, the effort in earnest.
    He eats breakfast early to fire up his furnace.

    the carbs have been shunned, no flour for him
    DVDs have been purchased for when there's no gym.

    He enters the gym, the temple of exertion
    this time he means it, there will be no desertion.

    The sweat it comes freely as he pushes along
    the music cranked up to his favorite fast song.

    The problem it seems comes from his own pace
    It has been 4 whole days, but no change in his face.

    So he looks for the answers as seen on TV
    The juicers, the ketones, the body by V.

    He goes to the programs to target his belly,
    He skips all the sugars and avoids even jelly.

    Maybe there is hope, how about shakeology?
    or one of those courses of liquid proctology?

    He eats a banana and is riddled with guilt.
    with mistakes like these, he will never be built.

    He knows now why he is doomed to be fat.
    He is quite big boned, no way around that.

    This can't possibly work. he sobs and he quakes.
    What should I do, being a special snowflake?

    But then he takes solace as it hits him like that.
    He is doing just fine, muscle weighs more than fat!

    It is obvious now, he needs not be sulky.
    He should probably slow down. Who wants to be bulky?

    His shake weight, his zumba, his work on his core.
    With all of these options he could never get bored.

    He works and he sweats. He cuts out all dairy.
    Where the hell has she gone, the weight loss fairy?

    Two pounds in a week, I have seen the show.
    Less than 10 pounds and you might as well go.

    So the winter moves forward. February is here.
    Well this isn't working....

    maybe next year.

    tumblr_lrviev6PCm1qhtgtpo1_400.jpg
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    Options
    Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
    Thy micturitions are to me,
    As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
    On a lurgid bee,
    That mordiously hath bitled out,
    Its earted jurtles,
    Into a rancid festering confectious inner-sphincter. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
    Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
    Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
    And living glupules frart and slipulate,
    Like jowling meated liverslime,
    Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turling dromes,
    And hooptiously drangle me,
    With crinkly bindlewurdles,
    Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
    See if I don't.

    I heart this one!!
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    Options
    Rules: None. Well, other than maybe citing author as appropriate.

    All contributions welcome, even roses are red stuff.

    ****

    A spring green blade of grass
    brushing gently, briefly, on sculpted knee

    A mosquito, buzzing insistently
    perilously near inner ear

    Single ray of burning sun
    warming down on smooth bare back

    Lone fiber of cotton lace
    langorously tracking hippish trace

    Chocolate morsel, dark, sweet
    hiding in lips corners

    Waiting, wondering, longing toward
    nearness like these


    ^all mine, love it or hate it

    OP thank you for this.
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    Options
    Shakespeare does MFP:



    To MFP or not to MFP: that is the question:
    Whether ‘tis nobler in the belly to suffer
    The (onion) rings and marrow of outrageous calories
    Or to take up lifestyles against a sea of fads
    And by opposing end them? To diet, to starve;
    No more; and by starving we say to begin the thousand natural shocks
    That flesh is heir to, ‘tis a consummation devoutly to be wished? To diet, to starve;
    To starve: perchance to binge: ay there’s the rub;
    For in that starvation diet what losses may come when we have shuffled off this metabolic rate
    Must give us pause: there’s the respect that makes calamity of so long dieting;
    For who would bear the words and scorns of time,
    The “bully’s” wrong, the proud member’s contumely
    The pangs of despised advice, the mod’s delay
    The insolence of veterans and the spurns
    That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
    When he himself might his quietus make
    With a Dr. Oz? Who would buttocks
    bare,
    To grunt and sweat under a clingy wrap
    But that the dread of something after loss
    The undiscover’d state from whose bourn
    No purger returns, puzzles the will
    And makes us rather bear those lbs we
    Have
    Than lift to others that we know not of?
    Thus sloth does make cowards of us
    All;
    And thus the native hue of ketones
    Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought
    And undertakings of great pitch and moment
    With this regard their cleanses turn awry,
    And lose the name of action. – Soft tissue now!
    The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy diaries
    Be all my binges remember’d.

    Uh. This is totally creative and wonderful!
  • tash_brown85
    Options
    Oh poetry. *spoken in a meaningful voice*
    You are just so deep. Like a cave.
  • Tercob
    Tercob Posts: 151 Member
    Options
    Love is a gamble
    Kissing's a game Guys do the necking
    Girls get the blame
    Few nights of pleasure
    Nine months of pain
    Couple days in the hospital
    Baby gets a name
    Love, Love, Love means More, More, More
    When a guy gets a girl on the Floor, Floor, Floor.

    P.S.
    Would you like a demonstration to increase the population of the younger generation?

    *Don't know where it came from but I remember saying it as a teenager
  • GeekAmour
    GeekAmour Posts: 262
    Options
    Haiku Ambulance
    By Richard Brautigan

    A piece of green pepper
    fell
    off the wooden salad bowl:
    so what?
  • UnwrappingCandy
    UnwrappingCandy Posts: 418 Member
    Options
    Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
    Thy micturitions are to me,
    As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
    On a lurgid bee,
    That mordiously hath bitled out,
    Its earted jurtles,
    Into a rancid festering confectious inner-sphincter. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
    Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
    Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
    And living glupules frart and slipulate,
    Like jowling meated liverslime,
    Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turling dromes,
    And hooptiously drangle me,
    With crinkly bindlewurdles,
    Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
    See if I don't.


    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQOK0yTHhqG186WASEvXd2YAI0AP9HnPatftWmJdA5r7efL2y6g
  • trollsb
    trollsb Posts: 35 Member
    Options
    When I get really low I bash out overly dramatic depressive poetry in a single hit. It doesn't rhyme..

    The most recent one


    Price Worth Paying


    You thought you'd do anything to relieve the numbness of anhedonia -
    Yet now you suffer.
    You'd have thought you'd do anything to relieve the pain of your soul being shredded -
    Yet you would not.
    For this to be anything less then an insufferable agony,
    Would not do the original emotion justice.

    Such is the price you hate yet want to pay,
    For a fleeting moment of such dazzling beauty within your heart.

    Perhaps it is luck for your love to be unreflected;
    else it may have either consumed you in madness
    or filled your heart until it burst.

    Through heartbreak, madness or exceeded capacity,
    the result would be the same,
    you are bleeding

    but this way

    you bleed alone.
  • NoWeighJose74
    NoWeighJose74 Posts: 581 Member
    Options
    I've got a knack for creating Haiku on the fly so:

    Ads in the sidebar
    Show shrinking women and I
    Think "Total bull$hit"

    More Haiku!

    Haiku are easy
    But sometimes they don't make sense
    Refrigerator
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Options
    Love Poem to My Former Belly

    Roses are red
    violets are blue
    I finally got
    rid of you
  • dirtnap63
    dirtnap63 Posts: 1,387 Member
    Options
    Shakespeare does MFP:



    To MFP or not to MFP: that is the question:
    Whether ‘tis nobler in the belly to suffer
    The (onion) rings and marrow of outrageous calories
    Or to take up lifestyles against a sea of fads
    And by opposing end them? To diet, to starve;
    No more; and by starving we say to begin the thousand natural shocks
    That flesh is heir to, ‘tis a consummation devoutly to be wished? To diet, to starve;
    To starve: perchance to binge: ay there’s the rub;
    For in that starvation diet what losses may come when we have shuffled off this metabolic rate
    Must give us pause: there’s the respect that makes calamity of so long dieting;
    For who would bear the words and scorns of time,
    The “bully’s” wrong, the proud member’s contumely
    The pangs of despised advice, the mod’s delay
    The insolence of veterans and the spurns
    That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
    When he himself might his quietus make
    With a Dr. Oz? Who would buttocks
    bare,
    To grunt and sweat under a clingy wrap
    But that the dread of something after loss
    The undiscover’d state from whose bourn
    No purger returns, puzzles the will
    And makes us rather bear those lbs we
    Have
    Than lift to others that we know not of?
    Thus sloth does make cowards of us
    All;
    And thus the native hue of ketones
    Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought
    And undertakings of great pitch and moment
    With this regard their cleanses turn awry,
    And lose the name of action. – Soft tissue now!
    The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy diaries
    Be all my binges remember’d.

    Uh. This is totally creative and wonderful!


    Thank you :smile:
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Options
    Okay, so I looked up anhedonia. Yay for learning!
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
    Options
    Okay, so I looked up anhedonia. Yay for learning!
    Yep. Initially, I took it for a name. smh.