getting over a relationship

jeda1231
jeda1231 Posts: 63 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
soooo any know the best way to get over a relationship that doesn't include excessive food and booze?!?!? i need all the help i can get - totally amicable but somehow it still hurts???
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Replies

  • sbetts2229
    sbetts2229 Posts: 79 Member
    Time...and keep busy...
  • patentguru
    patentguru Posts: 312 Member
    Concentrate on just the bad about the person.
  • Happybunny37
    Happybunny37 Posts: 145 Member
    I think the expression is time heals all wounds.....I like to say all wounds heal in time! Vent and stay busy and lean on your friends and listen to Sara Evans - A Little Bit Stronger
    :heart: :heart:
  • Jamie_Lauren
    Jamie_Lauren Posts: 211 Member
    Concentrate on just the bad about the person.

    Don't do this. In my experience it will only make you bitter, resentful and instead of getting over the relationship you will just harbour negativity towards that person that will eventually break you down as you see them move on.

    Honestly, there is no easy answer. You've just got to get on with life, keep doing what you normally do and maybe even get out and try something new! In the end it's all about time and finding ways to validate yourself as opposed to relying on the love of another person to make you feel self worth.

    Best of luck with it all! (and in perspective, I think you're granted one night to get blind drunk and crazy :drinker: )
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
    Set a personal goal and work toward it. Reward yourself lavishly when you reach it. If you still aren't completely over it, rinse and repeat.
  • nickyfm
    nickyfm Posts: 1,214 Member
    Delete them off facebook, delete their phone number, delete their photos from your phone.

    I could not move on until I did this. Any time he contacted me, it brought me back to square one. Trust me, cut him out.

    Also i find exercise is a great lift for your mood :)
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    I personally think you need to get laid, as long as you are not going to cry in the middle of it.

    its hard tho. especially if it was a nasty one.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    Delete them off facebook, delete their phone number, delete their photos from your phone.

    I could not move on until I did this. Any time he contacted me, it brought me back to square one. Trust me, cut him out.

    Also i find exercise is a great lift for your mood :)

    yes. this is very good advice. if you still have pictures on your fone, you havent really let go.

    feel you girl, I hate that, its over, just leave me alone right?
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
    Go out and do all the things you enjoy! Make new friends. Laugh lots. Pamper yourself. Go shopping for gorgeous clothes and shoes!

    Heck, my ex broke up with me, I ended up becoming a singer for an awesome band (something I always wanted to do, and he put me down about it) and making new friends meant I met my current boyfriend who I've been with for nearly half a year now.
    Never thought those things would happen when he broke up with me, because let's face it, you only seem to focus on negatives, but I've had such a fabulous time without him.

    I made my life about me again and I think that is the best you can do!
  • Jamie_Lauren
    Jamie_Lauren Posts: 211 Member
    I personally think you need to get laid, as long as you are not going to cry in the middle of it.

    This :wink:
  • Jamie_Lauren
    Jamie_Lauren Posts: 211 Member
    Heck, my ex broke up with me, I ended up becoming a singer for an awesome band (something I always wanted to do, and he put me down about it) and making new friends meant I met my current boyfriend who I've been with for nearly half a year now.

    AWESOME. I love a good break up story.

    Mine - I lost almost 20kg and met the love of my life who I've been with for the past 2 years. Also had the satisfaction of having my ex (who was a massive see-you-next-tuesday) begrudingly tell me that I was "looking really good" and ask me out again. Not ashamed to say that rejecting him was all too sweet!
  • movu101779
    movu101779 Posts: 27
    Realize they were not worth your time. Keep busy.. One day you will wake up and realize yourself that they didn't deserve to have you in their life. Time is really the only thing that will heal you.
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Give yourself ONE day of ice cream, cookies, and whatever you need, a tear-jerk movie, and if possible - a really good friend/s to help you through the wallowing. but you only get the one day - so the make the best of it. Write a letter to him but DO NOT SEND. write everything you want to say to him and then shred it. cheesy, cliche-y , and yet it works.

    then - force yourself to move on, keep busy, and do something you've always wanted to do (different hair style, go horseback riding, learn to macrame, whatever).
  • RobP1192
    RobP1192 Posts: 310 Member
    Like some others have said, it takes time. Takes a lot of willpower too. If the person feels compelled to contact you someway, you have to do your best to just ignore that person. You can do the "friends" thing at a later time, but the best thing to do immediately after ending a relationship is get over it, and that means avoiding contact unless impractical (work together, have class together, etc).

    For me personally, i had to stop hanging out with a select group of mutual friends because my ex would always try to be around when i was around. Looking for excuses to see me or find out what i was doing.

    It'll be tough, just stay strong, and stay FOCUSED on YOU!
  • kathgym
    kathgym Posts: 12 Member
    Delete them off facebook, delete their phone number, delete their photos from your phone.

    I could not move on until I did this. Any time he contacted me, it brought me back to square one. Trust me, cut him out.

    Also i find exercise is a great lift for your mood :)

    This is the best advice! I did this and it gave me lots of perspective. 6 years later we are on speaking terms, but not friends (there are still some mutual friends so we still see each other every so often). There is no bitterness or anger, just a mutual acceptance that we have both moved on.

    Also, keeping good friends around, and a fabulous holiday if you can and shopping. And remember - Time heals all wounds.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    Lot's of good advice on this thread. Definitely don't get bitter. Don't focus on the bad of the person.

    Focus on doing a lot of the things you enjoy doing. Spend a lot of time with friends and family because they love you no matter what and they ain't goin' nowhere!

    I agree that a good lay helps! But if you're not ready for that, don't do it either or it can backfire. Now is a good time to be selfish and only worry about you.
  • jeda1231
    jeda1231 Posts: 63 Member
    thank you everyone! i love the give yourself one binge day and get over it :) i don't need to get laid RIGHT NOW...next week, perhaps! :)

    thanks for all of the solid advice i really appreciate it - you live and you learn right? I love the positive breakup stories too! i also throw myself into working out so hopefully i'll be in amazing shape this "single summer" haha
  • coco3382458
    coco3382458 Posts: 296 Member
    exercise a lot and start dating!!!! You dont have to be looking for something..just get urself out there
  • Soloflyergirl2
    Soloflyergirl2 Posts: 127 Member
    Maintain your self esteem. Don't have random sexual activity. Your health is number one. Don't have a binge day. Delete the person from all communication and memory devices. Now.... set a goal for your weight... your appearance.... and focus on that. Focus on YOU. Then, when you look like a million bucks, or even in the journey of getting there... get outside. Listen to the birds sing. Enjoy a starlit night. Exercise, Walk. Reorganize your living space to new positions.. Put chairs and tables in a different corner of the room... New actions... New YOU ............................and allow yourself to be happy.... When YOU are happy... you are more attractive.... and Love will be there ...... I guarantee it. ( I am old. < I know these things.).... Love yourself...:flowerforyou:
  • Amym26
    Amym26 Posts: 83 Member
    I was there 6 months but mine didn't end well at all! I didn't turn to booze or food. What I did was instead to work on ME! I decided to focus on weight loss and being healthy mentally and physically. I decided it was time to try to things I had never done before and or things I wished I had already tried. And I also I decided it was time to see just how fit I could get my body. And since my break up I have lost 45 pounds. I won't lie and say there weren't day I didn't just want to drink away all my thoughts but I'm so happy I didn't!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,031 Member
    soooo any know the best way to get over a relationship that doesn't include excessive food and booze?!?!? i need all the help i can get - totally amicable but somehow it still hurts???
    I look at it this way............there is someone out there who will always appreciate and love you more than the last person that left.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Time, really. Or antidepressants. :-)

    It's tough, but that's really the only way. Even dating other people for me just makes me miss the guy I was with, so that didn't ever work.

    Lucky for me, under those circumstances I completely lose my appetite. I do feel for you.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
    Excessive booze and time!
  • hmuh
    hmuh Posts: 379 Member
    Set a personal goal and work toward it. Reward yourself lavishly when you reach it. If you still aren't completely over it, rinse and repeat.
    Right on!
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    Delete them off facebook, delete their phone number, delete their photos from your phone.

    I could not move on until I did this. Any time he contacted me, it brought me back to square one. Trust me, cut him out.

    Also i find exercise is a great lift for your mood :)
    I personally think you need to get laid, as long as you are not going to cry in the middle of it.

    This ^^^
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
    It's takes time to get over someone you care deeply about. That being said life is about getting back up after being knock down.


    Are you a fighter or a wimp?
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    Exercise, friends, keep busy. Create your own new life.
    Remind yourself that you will be ok, that this person wasn't your ideal match but the right one will be out there someday. Everything happens for a reason.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    It's hard but try to keep really busy , even if its stuff like cleaning your house , going for walks , sorting threw closets , etc and also do stuff for yourself, paint your nails, do you hair , get a tan, etc , this stuff makes me feel better .
    Good luck! I know it's hard, but just keep busy and focus on bettering yourself :)
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
    Delete them off facebook, delete their phone number, delete their photos from your phone.

    I could not move on until I did this. Any time he contacted me, it brought me back to square one. Trust me, cut him out.

    Also i find exercise is a great lift for your mood :)


    Me personally, I would not delete their photo and destroy any photos of that person - that is history of your life (a part that is hurtful now) but down the road, it gives you the opportunity to look back on your life and see how far you have come. By all means store the photos away until such time, that is a part of your life that cannot be erased. Delete from Facebook, of course.,
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