This lifestyle isn't for the thin-skinned.

tomii13
tomii13 Posts: 105 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
They say it takes 30 days to break a habit.

I've been eating healthier since October 2012. Regularly exercising since Dec/Jan 2012.

To date, I've lost approx 30 lbs.

You get the good, and you get the bad. The funny part is, that I like the bad more than the good. Why? Because I don't know how to take a compliment. But doubt/insult me and it gives me more of a drive.

So where am I going with this?

My co-worker. Long story short: 22 years old and has had about 4 plastic surgeries. Next on her list: boobs job.

So last week she goes to me: "If you like the job my surgeon does on me, I'll give you his card because you know you can exercise all you want but..." without me even suggesting that I am remotely interested! Sure I've lost a lot of boob and I'm working on toning, but hey, I'm comfortable & confident in my own skin., apparently you're not. Even if it's not as tight as yours. My pride is that I am working on it.

Today she goes: "You're looking so much thinner - in no time you'll be looking great" LOL! I just laughed it off. Soorrrryy that my progress isn't as speedy as yours my dear, but I AM already looking great and I worked hard for it! :P

I found it just too funny.

Happy week fellow MFPs!
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Replies

  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Without being there, I can't really be sure how it was intended to be said. But from here, it sounds like she was trying to be nice in her own, weird, plastic surgery way. At least it's not like she was suggesting that you needed plastic surgery when she had never had any.
  • healthytanya1
    healthytanya1 Posts: 198 Member
    Sounds like she has to put you down just to make herself feel better. I can't stand people like that. I did get fake boobs at 18 but she's 22 and 4 surgeries. Holy **** she must be insecure or maybe she has too much money.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    She's just immature. Write her off and ignore her. Nod politely and be nice at work, but her opinions are worth very little to you. Take it for what it is, stupidity and self-absorption.
  • askeates
    askeates Posts: 1,490 Member
    Sounds to me like she doesn't understand or truely value hard work. If she prefers surgery, good on her, personally (like you) I prefer the old fashioned way and avoiding the knife at all costs!

    Congratulations on your success to date! :drinker:
  • RobynLB83
    RobynLB83 Posts: 626 Member
    Meh, she's 22, probably a little clueless about how her statements sound coming out of her mouth, but I doubt she means any harm. Try to take the positive, and don't read any more into it than that.

    A lot of women ( I say women because it's a trait more commonly socialized into women) are super sensitive as to how their statements affect others-- but some aren't. I'm sometimes in the second camp, and trust me, we're just clueless foot in mouth idiots sometimes.
  • tomii13
    tomii13 Posts: 105 Member
    I don't mean to bash her or anything in any way. I just find it funny. I have nothing against plastic surgery. It's just not for me. And yes, I know her, and I know she's insecure, but I think SoDamnHungry has a point about her trying to be nice in her own weird plastic surgery way.

    I don't let it get to me. I really find it funny.

    And thanks for the support :P
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    I would have to hear her and see her when she was saying that to you, but in a way she could be trying to compliment you on your progress. She may not understand why you go to all that hard work, when hey, here's my surgeons number, but good job anyway :ohwell:
  • VitaBailey
    VitaBailey Posts: 271 Member
    I get the feeling your co-workers is the kind of person who gives backhanded compliments no matter what she is commenting on. It speaks to her character. I'm glad you are letting it roll off of your back. It sounds like you have yourself together. Nice stats. :-)
  • tomii13
    tomii13 Posts: 105 Member
    Meh, she's 22, probably a little clueless about how her statements sound coming out of her mouth, but I doubt she means any harm. Try to take the positive, and don't read any more into it than that.

    A lot of women ( I say women because it's a trait more commonly socialized into women) are super sensitive as to how their statements affect others-- but some aren't. I'm sometimes in the second camp, and trust me, we're just clueless foot in mouth idiots sometimes.

    Right with ya in that camp. I'm one of the worst offenders. lol
  • Jroz87
    Jroz87 Posts: 1
    :laugh: I LOVE your reaction to her.

    I would be the same way. You KNOW you look good and that's all that matters.

    She obviously has a messed-up view on what is truly beautiful. Nothing is better looking than a natural beauty! And on the plus side...your beauty will last and you will age gracefully...her fake boobs and nose (or whatever she has) will eventually give way leaving her looking like Joan Rivers!

    Who's better looking...Joan River's or Jillian Michales! :)

    She is reeeeally young and obviously miss-lead, so all you can do is smile...Kill 'em with kindness and show her what's beautiful by staying fit and being happy!

    Nothing is more beautiful than a smile (espeically when you're in good shape)

    You Rock! :drinker:
  • tomii13
    tomii13 Posts: 105 Member
    I would have to hear her and see her when she was saying that to you, but in a way she could be trying to compliment you on your progress. She may not understand why you go to all that hard work, when hey, here's my surgeons number, but good job anyway :ohwell:

    Yep. I agree. And it wasn't in a bad tone at all. And even if it was, that's okay. I can take it.
    I get the feeling your co-workers is the kind of person who gives backhanded compliments no matter what she is commenting on. It speaks to her character. I'm glad you are letting it roll off of your back. It sounds like you have yourself together. Nice stats. :-)

    Thank you!
  • AbnormalYak
    AbnormalYak Posts: 55 Member
    Her comments say something about her - her priorities, her attitude, her social skills (or lack of them). They don't say anything about you. Let them fall off you like the nothings they are.
  • celtbell3
    celtbell3 Posts: 738 Member
    Joan Rivers - need I say more? LOL
  • soldier4242
    soldier4242 Posts: 1,368 Member
    Hey maybe she is actually just trying to say something nice but she is tripping over her own words because of the previous exchange the two you already had. It is entirely possible that she is actually trying just say something nice and she is in one of those situations where she can't win no matter what she says because if the words don't come out exactly right then you are going to insert the worst possible meaning. I can't say for sure because all I have to go on in this one thread post but I felt that someone should mention this possibility.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    I think that that she probably meant well. What she said is likely a reflection of her own distorted self esteem, not anything about you. Your response was good, and kind.
  • tomii13
    tomii13 Posts: 105 Member
    :laugh: I LOVE your reaction to her.

    I would be the same way. You KNOW you look good and that's all that matters.

    She obviously has a messed-up view on what is truly beautiful. Nothing is better looking than a natural beauty! And on the plus side...your beauty will last and you will age gracefully...her fake boobs and nose (or whatever she has) will eventually give way leaving her looking like Joan Rivers!

    Who's better looking...Joan River's or Jillian Michales! :)

    She is reeeeally young and obviously miss-lead, so all you can do is smile...Kill 'em with kindness and show her what's beautiful by staying fit and being happy!

    Nothing is more beautiful than a smile (espeically when you're in good shape)

    You Rock! :drinker:

    Exactly. And thank you :) right back atcha!
    I think that that she probably meant well. What she said is likely a reflection of her own distorted self esteem, not anything about you. Your response was good, and kind.

    I think you said it best. It was no harm on either side.
  • meredith1123
    meredith1123 Posts: 843 Member
    Who knows what she really meant - whether she was being facetious or possibly just trying to be nice in her own way. Is she blonde?
    Maybe she was just being quirky and meant no harm. Sometimes we say things that come across 'vain like' but we dont really mean them to be. You know her better than any of us though so if she truly meant it in a harsh/mean/criticizing way then screw her. LOL
    On a side note, i've lost a TON OF WEIGHT in my life and i'm not getting the girls fixed either!! It was my fault i got fat. I'll keep what ive destroyed in its natural facet.
  • tomii13
    tomii13 Posts: 105 Member
    Hey maybe she is actually just trying to say something nice but she is tripping over her own words because of the previous exchange the two you already had. It is entirely possible that she is actually trying just say something nice and she is in one of those situations where she can't win no matter what she says because if the words don't come out exactly right then you are going to insert the worst possible meaning. I can't say for sure because all I have to go on in this one thread post but I felt that someone should mention this possibility.

    She knows I can take criticism well and probably why she even says those things to me. I really wasn't complaining or anything, just sharing my experiences. I know comments like that can do harm to others, but it shouldn't. I've told her I'm not interested in plastic surgery she just keeps pushing the idea my way which is why I said it isn't for the thin-skinned.
  • babydiego87
    babydiego87 Posts: 905 Member
    Lol it seems like she means well but isn't paying attention on how she is wording things. I wouldn't say it's malacious at all.
  • tomii13
    tomii13 Posts: 105 Member
    Who knows what she really meant - whether she was being facetious or possibly just trying to be nice in her own way. Is she blonde?
    Maybe she was just being quirky and meant no harm. Sometimes we say things that come across 'vain like' but we dont really mean them to be. You know her better than any of us though so if she truly meant it in a harsh/mean/criticizing way then screw her. LOL
    On a side note, i've lost a TON OF WEIGHT in my life and i'm not getting the girls fixed either!! It was my fault i got fat. I'll keep what ive destroyed in its natural facet.

    haha. Love your post comment. Nice to see someone who will keep them natural after the weight loss. woo!

    And she's not blonde. lol. But does have a self esteem/image issue.

    oh well.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I like your thinking and I love the topic heading. You are absolutely right if you don't have a certain degree of thick skin and can take the ugly with the bad (from yourself and others) and brush yourself off after failure after failure you will never succeed.

    I'm stealing this thought because it's a good thought. Stay strong.
  • pfgaytriot
    pfgaytriot Posts: 238 Member
    Whoa. Four plastic surgeries by the age 22? It makes me sad that she's seemingly that uncomfortable in her own skin that she feels the need to make costly permanent changes. :frown:

    Your reaction was perfect! :smile:
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
    Hey maybe she is actually just trying to say something nice but she is tripping over her own words because of the previous exchange the two you already had. It is entirely possible that she is actually trying just say something nice and she is in one of those situations where she can't win no matter what she says because if the words don't come out exactly right then you are going to insert the worst possible meaning. I can't say for sure because all I have to go on in this one thread post but I felt that someone should mention this possibility.

    She knows I can take criticism well and probably why she even says those things to me. I really wasn't complaining or anything, just sharing my experiences. I know comments like that can do harm to others, but it shouldn't. I've told her I'm not interested in plastic surgery she just keeps pushing the idea my way which is why I said it isn't for the thin-skinned.


    First let me say to OP, I totally understand the point of your post...that people say goofy stuff, well intentioned or not, and we have to let a lot of stuff roll off our backs. That is a powerful lesson to be learned in life.

    This bitty probably assumes everyone thinks plastic surgery is a given for people. I have a neighbor who had a boob job, and then her sister had a boob job, and they assume when the 9 year old is old enough (18 years old) they will help pay for her boob job. It is assumed that people want boob jobs in their minds as they wanted them and they love the results so clearly every one wants one.

    as I get older I actually find comedic value in the things people say that they mean in a positive way or in a supportive way that come out the complete opposite. I know that someday someone will say something to them of the like and they will learn. I have learned so much from unintentionally hurtful comments. I am sure I said some dumb *kitten* things in my youth and I am far more cautious now to not be so clueless.
  • zazielascaux
    zazielascaux Posts: 35 Member
    I read that a *****y comment = being slightly threatened. So with all the surgery she is probably quite insecure about herown looks, and as you get fitter and healthier looking she is getting a little threatened by it. That also explains why you prefer the bad to the good- on some level you know that when people make *****y remarks it means you are on the right track!
  • skwirlslady
    skwirlslady Posts: 8
    The sad part about your twenty two year old co-worker is in a few years all these surgeries she has had so early in her life, is going to back fire because regardless to what has been operated on to date when age hits her its going to start falling and becoming misplaced anyway, and since it sounds like she doesn't work for her appearance,she is going to have to keep going to the knife for perfection, when you have accomplished your own perfection through hard work. Who knows maybe in ten years the little slick comments she makes about you now, you can return to her with a smile! Laugh at her ignorance!:laugh:
  • tomii13
    tomii13 Posts: 105 Member
    I like your thinking and I love the topic heading. You are absolutely right if you don't have a certain degree of thick skin and can take the ugly with the bad (from yourself and others) and brush yourself off after failure after failure you will never succeed.

    I'm stealing this thought because it's a good thought. Stay strong.

    Thanks. I appreciate that and take it as a compliment <3
  • tomii13
    tomii13 Posts: 105 Member
    Hey maybe she is actually just trying to say something nice but she is tripping over her own words because of the previous exchange the two you already had. It is entirely possible that she is actually trying just say something nice and she is in one of those situations where she can't win no matter what she says because if the words don't come out exactly right then you are going to insert the worst possible meaning. I can't say for sure because all I have to go on in this one thread post but I felt that someone should mention this possibility.

    She knows I can take criticism well and probably why she even says those things to me. I really wasn't complaining or anything, just sharing my experiences. I know comments like that can do harm to others, but it shouldn't. I've told her I'm not interested in plastic surgery she just keeps pushing the idea my way which is why I said it isn't for the thin-skinned.


    First let me say to OP, I totally understand the point of your post...that people say goofy stuff, well intentioned or not, and we have to let a lot of stuff roll off our backs. That is a powerful lesson to be learned in life.

    This bitty probably assumes everyone thinks plastic surgery is a given for people. I have a neighbor who had a boob job, and then her sister had a boob job, and they assume when the 9 year old is old enough (18 years old) they will help pay for her boob job. It is assumed that people want boob jobs in their minds as they wanted them and they love the results so clearly every one wants one.

    as I get older I actually find comedic value in the things people say that they mean in a positive way or in a supportive way that come out the complete opposite. I know that someday someone will say something to them of the like and they will learn. I have learned so much from unintentionally hurtful comments. I am sure I said some dumb *kitten* things in my youth and I am far more cautious now to not be so clueless.

    I think you have a point there about the assumption. Very true.
  • meredith1123
    meredith1123 Posts: 843 Member
    haha. Love your post comment. Nice to see someone who will keep them natural after the weight loss. woo!

    And she's not blonde. lol. But does have a self esteem/image issue.

    oh well.
    [/quote]

    i am definitely not surprised that she has self esteem issues. I'm not going to say what I feel about plastic surgery and why people feel the need to do all of that to themselves..... but im sure you can figure my thoughts out on your own.
    hmf!
  • HealthyBodySickMind
    HealthyBodySickMind Posts: 1,207 Member
    Her offering her surgeon's card might be even more selfish than a backhanded compliment. She might get a discount on her next surgery for bring him/her the business!
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
    Hey maybe she is actually just trying to say something nice but she is tripping over her own words because of the previous exchange the two you already had. It is entirely possible that she is actually trying just say something nice and she is in one of those situations where she can't win no matter what she says because if the words don't come out exactly right then you are going to insert the worst possible meaning. I can't say for sure because all I have to go on in this one thread post but I felt that someone should mention this possibility.

    She knows I can take criticism well and probably why she even says those things to me. I really wasn't complaining or anything, just sharing my experiences. I know comments like that can do harm to others, but it shouldn't. I've told her I'm not interested in plastic surgery she just keeps pushing the idea my way which is why I said it isn't for the thin-skinned.


    First let me say to OP, I totally understand the point of your post...that people say goofy stuff, well intentioned or not, and we have to let a lot of stuff roll off our backs. That is a powerful lesson to be learned in life.

    This bitty probably assumes everyone thinks plastic surgery is a given for people. I have a neighbor who had a boob job, and then her sister had a boob job, and they assume when the 9 year old is old enough (18 years old) they will help pay for her boob job. It is assumed that people want boob jobs in their minds as they wanted them and they love the results so clearly every one wants one.

    as I get older I actually find comedic value in the things people say that they mean in a positive way or in a supportive way that come out the complete opposite. I know that someday someone will say something to them of the like and they will learn. I have learned so much from unintentionally hurtful comments. I am sure I said some dumb *kitten* things in my youth and I am far more cautious now to not be so clueless.

    I think you have a point there about the assumption. Very true.


    The boob job neighbor's husband is making her wait until she is 45 to get botox. The neighbor assumes that I haven't gotten a boob job YET due to money issues or that I am trying to fix other things first so I can decide how big I want them.

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