Am I the only one?

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  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    Nothing I can think of, but I'm only 24 and have a lifetime of mistakes ahead of me. Hopefully, nothing I won't be able to live with.
  • PhattiPhat
    PhattiPhat Posts: 349 Member
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    I feel so emo right now.
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
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    We're all flawed, some are just unwilling to admit it even to themselves. Perfection doesn't exist.
  • Cutting4life
    Cutting4life Posts: 505 Member
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    cool story bro
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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    I feel so emo right now.
    Lmao
    imagesemo_zps7ddb861c.jpg
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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    Just wanted to add I don't dwell on this stuff as it would be unproductive. Just seems like almost everyone who reply's to cheating threads have never cheated...seems a little strange to me.

    Maybe the cheating perpetrators are keeping their mouths shut so they don't get flamed on a cheater thread. Of course all the non-cheaters and the cheating victims are going to be supportive on those threads...makes total sense to me.
    QFT...great point

    Just think of it this way. If you'd been the victim of any of the violations you describe in the OP, you'd be a sympathizer to other victims, right? And if you had not been a victim OR a perpetrator, you'd side with the victims, since you'd have a sense of pride in the fact that you'd never done those things. But since you feel guilty, you're naturally going to want to go into defensive mode and look for others like you, so you feel less like of an aberration - after all, I'm not that bad if everybody else is doing it, right?

    It's all good, dude. You know what you've done and you've acknowledged it. There's no need for you to take on the guilt and shame of every other cheater on MFP. Don't feel bad when other cheaters are getting bashed. They have nothing to do with you and your past. :flowerforyou:
    There is definetly logic in what you have to say but personally I don't feel the need to take on the guilt and shame of every other cheater on MFP. neither do I naturally going to want to go into defensive mode and look for others like you, so you feel less like of an aberration - after all, I'm not that bad if everybody else is doing it, right?

    I am more of a look at the whole picture kind of guy and people need to take responsibility for themselves I have no desire to carry anyone's guilt or come to their defense. The victims of crappy situations definitely get my sympathies.

    Have a strong distaste for the I'm not that bad if everybody else is doing it, right? mentality...like to think for myself and not hide in group mentality's.

    Your reasoning would hold true for some but I am not that guy.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    When I was in first grade, a boy thought I had a crush on him because I always used his coloring pencils, but I didn't have a crush on him, I just wanted to color. And that made me mad. So, I made fun of him and got everyone to make fun of him. I thought he walked funny, so I would replicate his walk for my friends and they would all laugh. But, then I stopped in third grade. Anyway, years later I felt so bad about it that I found him and apologized and he said that he didn't even remember that. So, I don't feel bad anymore. But, one of the reasons why I made fun of him was because he was nice to me and it reminded me that bad things were happening at home because he seemed caring and concerned at times.

    There have been times when I had panic attacks and got triggered ptsd from my childhood trauma and I said mean things to my husband that were not about him.

    No, I never cheated (except for when I was 12, and I felt really bad about it, but I don't think that counts).

    I'm sure I've hurt people. I can't think of anything right now, which probably means I have healed and let things go. I actually tried to remember everything and apologize because I don't like regrets and loose ends. Everyone told me they did not remember it, but it was something I needed to do.

    But, I still feel bad mostly about ways that my past made it sometimes difficult for me to fully connect with people and regrets related to my lack of confidence.

    I did have one friend from high school that I had a very intense and passionate relationship with. I had a lot of regrets about fights that we had for a long time. We have finally made up and we are friends again. That was a long and important process. We both had regrets. She was mostly glad that I was so forgiving of her. I'm glad that she forgives me too. Her friendship was really important to me. I feel bad about times we were in very loud fights and disturbed the peace of others.

    Sometimes I feel bad about things that happen for my kids, but it's all minor stuff that doesn't have any impact on them. Though, I'm sure they will have issues with me as they get older and may want to talk and ask for apologies (just seems that's a normal process because all parents are imperfect, with flaws and issues and make mistakes). But, at least they will not be traumatized by their childhood or feel abandoned by me.

    There will always be things we wish could have happened differently. That's why people always say, "If only I could have known then, what I know now". I always heard people saying that and I wanted to never say that. But, now I know why people say that. I think it is unavoidable. It's the growing process.
  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
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    ...
    So I was wondering am I the only one that seems to have been at fault in my life, I will give you some examples:
    ...
    When I was younger (very early teen years) I tormented one kid in my high-school so much that I actually caused him to have a epileptic fit and wet himself.( I want to find this guy and apologize, if only I knew he's name.
    ...
    I have said things that were damn right mean and insulting in the heat of the moment.(who hasn't)
    ...
    Had beaten a guy half to death because I had been told that he had raped one of my friends...I made practically no effort to find out the facts before acting upon my anger. (Anger is a dangerous thing)
    ...
    Have been guilty of stereotyping and handing out blanket-statements.(stoopid)
    ...
    Now these actions that I have been guilty of in the past haunt me and quite ashamed of my behavior, the unnecessary pain that I have caused others, the myopic views, the selfishness of my actions.
    ...
    Wasn't this the plot to "My Name Is Earl" on TV?
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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    ...
    Wasn't this the plot to "My Name Is Earl" on TV?
    Lol I wish as I would win the lottery and be friends with Crabman!!
  • sparkly86
    sparkly86 Posts: 520 Member
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    cheating, i think that is just a commonality to carriers of the y chromosome.
    Everyone makes mistakes, but as long as you recognize them and change, that is what counts. Nobody here is perfect.
  • EmilyJackCO
    EmilyJackCO Posts: 621 Member
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    Brutal honesty will get you everywhere....

    But seriously, Even though I gave as good as I got in a lot of situations, I did a lot of really stupid things because I was a victim for a vast majority of my life. Even though I was a fighter and strong and determined, I would still be the doormat. Sure, it comes from my childhood and all that, but it's not really much of an excuse that it took me 17+ years of adulthood to know better. My list of regrets is long and varied, but I will never be ashamed of them again. I'm a survivor, and I'll be here with the cockroaches and Keith Richards.

    (Note: Doesn't mean I don't have a metric butt-tonload of issues as a result of a hard-lived life, but I can only unravel so many threads at a time. I've only been free for 5 years from vicious cycle of abuse, and it's gonna take a while.)
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    Just would seem that people are so ready to condemn so quickly with out all the facts or more specifically very little facts.

    Everyone is quick to judge others by measures they can never live up to, or by ways they don't sin.
  • KyleB65
    KyleB65 Posts: 1,196 Member
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    You are not alone sir!

    Been an *kitten* most of my life. Trying hard to make up for the past by being a better person today. With the goal to improve even more tomorrow.

    I believe that part of my weight gain was due to my poor attitude and angry state of mind.

    Feeling better these days and using exercise and healthier eating to help keep my attitude positive.
  • Big_Bad
    Big_Bad Posts: 57
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    I admit some fault in my failed marriage. I wish I could turn back time and lose weight so that my ex-husband wouldn't leave me for another woman. Guys are visual, and I should have remembered that.

    :huh:

    Seconded. That's a pretty horribly sexist thing to say. Good to know that all men only care about physical appearance. And that you would turn back time to be with someone incredibly shallow. Good luck to you and your future relationships. I'm sure they'll be really healthy.
  • KiKiWoods
    KiKiWoods Posts: 18 Member
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    Wow! I love this topic! I too read some of these posts and wonder, where have all of these saints been hiding! Because I never seem to run into them in my normal life, only in posts condemning others of their behavior. Heck yeah, I have done some things I wish I could take back or do over. Most of them I have done to myself! But, as I get older I find that I look at the people behaving badly and think, “Ohhhh, he’s hurt and acting out, she really needs to love herself more!” But, that is after my initial giant F-You! LOL!! I am no saint.
  • kimberlypayne
    kimberlypayne Posts: 9 Member
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    No sir, you are not the only one and I for one applaud your courage and honesty. Its never too late to make up for or even better, learn from our mistakes. You are a better, stronger person than you may think.
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
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    Maybe I'm a better person than I think.


    I contacted recently a person I dated for awhile (to apologize). I never cheated on her but was overall a douche. Mostly in how I broke it off.

    I made a guy at work cry because of the *kitten* chewing I gave him. I felt bad about that one because he is actually a really good guy.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    Its never too late to make up for or even better, learn from our mistakes. You are a better, stronger person than you may think.

    It is a waste to continue hoping and trying to create a better past. Keep moving forward. Be better.

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