I would give ANYTHING...well, except any effort whatsoever

Conversation with a friend today...

Friend: "Your sooo lucky to have an "athletic" body. I would give ANYTHING to have your body."
Me: "Really? Ok. You can have my body. Just give me 1 hour in the gym of your very best effort and follow a simple, healthy diet I'll help you develop and it's all yours."
Friend: "ummm...."
Me: "No seriously, One hour a day and eat right. You won’t be hungry or anything. Diets don't have to equal suck and after a little while, working out becomes addictive. I promise. We will work out together...I'll start easy on you :tongue: ."
Friend: "I'm thinking about starting weight watchers. And I heard about this Raspberry stuff that makes you lose fat..." * turns away ending the conversation.
Me: :ohwell: What about giving ANYTHING?!? One hour a day and proper eating is too much?? ( I didn't say this...I just shrugged and told her let me know if she changes her mind.)

Now, I am not the most dedicated person (working on that) but I do work hard(-ish) for my body and health. I love feeling energized and strong. I am learning new things about nutrition and health every day. I research. I read forums. I keep track of the effects of intake and output on my body. I try to eat healthy most of the time...

I am sick of people telling me that I'm lucky! I am blessed to have had a mom that taught me self-discipline and nutrition and sparked a passion for it in me as a teen, but I work hard to be healthy and stay in shape. It is by no means "luck."

How about you all? Are you lucky? Or do you just work your butt off? Am I the only person this bothers? Maybe I'm just *****y today...:blushing:
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Replies

  • HannahJDiaz25
    HannahJDiaz25 Posts: 329 Member
    Why did it post two??? Sorry Guys!
  • msEEden
    msEEden Posts: 3
    Well, I can in part relate to your post. I had some friends who were very overweight and started a diet, and I was never hugely overweight, just full figured. I began to lose and it was like I popped out of an egg, people told be how beautiful and amazing I looked so I worked harder and harder. My friends got incredibly jealous and started moaning at me about it, but then they didnt seem to have any commitment, they ate chocolate and crisps and missed workouts and i ate salad and worked out daily. In the end, my desire to outshine them though landed me with anorexia and i got far too thin but now Im back at a healthy place- just trying to tone up!
  • brcampan
    brcampan Posts: 10 Member
    I get that a lot. It comes in the form of "I would love to be able to eat and look like you do" (I am always eatting).

    One day I told the person that they can look and eat like me but they would have to train for a marathon like I am because you get to eat quite a bit more food when running 50-70 miles a week.

    That ended that conversation
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    most people buy into the quick fixes and magic potions and promises of 90 days and you'll look like you've been working out for your whole life. They buy into this **** and never realize that it doesn't take weeks, or months...it takes dedication to nutrition and fitness over the course of years...and well, they just don't got time for dat ****.
  • EmmieBaby
    EmmieBaby Posts: 1,235 Member
    One of my co workers did the same to me the other day:

    She compliments me that I am losing weight, I tell her how I do it and how easy it is (training for the Spartan race)

    She cuts me off mid sentence and begins to puke out nonsense diets and plans and wtv else she saw on dr Oz.

    I try again to explain that you don't need to starve or to sacrifice anything, just need to learn how and when to eat and exercise.
    but nope she just continues to do her fad diets, a new one each week and every week she complains she sees no results..DUH!! you only give it a week! I've been going at it since January and I just now see some results.

    i think this week she is on the smoothy diet
    last week she was on the no veggies and as much meat as you like diet.
    oh and the week before that she switched her work chair for a ball to work her core (cause who needs a gym right?)

    "sigh" *eats apple*
  • TheRunningGuppy
    TheRunningGuppy Posts: 651 Member
    Nope, I'm not one of the lucky ones. Been fat since I was a teen. But I do agree with you, it's hard work that gets the results. And it's showing (look at my ticker!). I had people ask me when I first started "what diet are you on?", and all I could say was "The Common Sense Diet". Portion control and exercise. I don't get that question as much now. Mostly because I've made it clear through some Facebook posts that I'm working my butt off.
  • Salt_Sand_Sun
    Salt_Sand_Sun Posts: 415 Member
    I've had a couple similar comments. I"ve also had the ones who sit there with their "dunlap bellies" eating a jelly donut say "What you should do". As well as the ones who ask for my advice "So what kind of workouts do you do?" I tell them and also tell them about my food (never hungry....rarely hungry LOL) and they say "Yea, well it works for you....but that wont work for me" Working out 1hr and eating 4-6x per day wont work for you. Mmmkay.... so be it.

    You're always going to run into those people. Offer advice (if asked) and let them make the decision. No one forces *you* to work out and eat better....you can't make anyone else. Move on.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    I understand the attitude. I would like to magically lose weight and get into better physical condition without changing anything about my life-style.

    Right. Never gonna happen. At least I realize this much.
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    I've heard the same thing. "I'd do anything to have your body" or "be as skinny as you". Ummm...no, you would not, or you'd have it or be on your way to having it. (This to people who have never put in any effort what so ever, not those working their *kitten* off to get in better shape!)
  • rvomd
    rvomd Posts: 1
    I imagine sometimes when people say "I'd do anything to have your figure" they might be referring to more than weight. Personally, at 5'10" with a larger than average frame (my wrists are not fat yet are enormous thanks to bigger bones), I've often fantasized about what it'd be like to have the skeleton of my 5'2" 98 lb best friend. Unfortunately, I'll never have that petite thing going for me regardless of how much I weigh. In the end, though, I'm happy with what I've got. I can weigh more and carry it well, I have long legs, and I have an easier time finding clothes than my little BFF. So, imo, I think people sometimes casually say "Wow, I'd give anything to look like that woman" but it's nothing more than a fleeting thought. It's one thing to be proud of one's accomplishments but another to be bitter when a person doesn't take one's advice off the bat.
  • Ben6485
    Ben6485 Posts: 2
    People tell me that bread is fattening.
    I just say no it doesn't and look the other way
  • NoleGirl0918
    NoleGirl0918 Posts: 213 Member
    i had a similar conversation a while back - an old friend i hadn't seen in several months saw me & complimented me, then asked what i was doing to "look so good"....when i told her it was eating 1200 calories a day & 5 days a week in the gym, she told me straight up that she wasn't going to do that! She said, "you mean you didn't take a pill to lose weight or do gastric bypass?" **Please know that i am in NO WAY speaking badly of someone who might choose to use medication or surgery as a tool in their weight loss journey, but that is not the path that i have chosen personally.**
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I think I am lucky in so, so many ways when it comes to fitness and health.

    And, yes, it does bother me when people want to look for the trick to losing weight and being fit, rather than doing what they know they really should do.
  • micheleld73
    micheleld73 Posts: 914 Member
    I find that if you ease them into it rather than trying to slam everything you've done down their throat at once, they are more receptive to the gradual change. It took us time, research (lot of questions and answers) and a whole lot of discipline to reach the position that someone would envy. So give it to them in small doses.
  • Pearsquared
    Pearsquared Posts: 1,656 Member
    People tell me that bread is fattening.
    I just say no it doesn't and look the other way
    Just tell them to poke your wheat belly. Your rock hard wheat belly.
  • AliciaStinger
    AliciaStinger Posts: 402 Member
    Conversation with a friend today...

    Friend: "Your sooo lucky to have an "athletic" body. I would give ANYTHING to have your body."
    Me: "Really? Ok. You can have my body. Just give me 1 hour in the gym of your very best effort and follow a simple, healthy diet I'll help you develop and it's all yours."
    Friend: "ummm...."
    Me: "No seriously, One hour a day and eat right. You won’t be hungry or anything. Diets don't have to equal suck and after a little while, working out becomes addictive. I promise. We will work out together...I'll start easy on you :tongue: ."
    Friend: "I'm thinking about starting weight watchers. And I heard about this Raspberry stuff that makes you lose fat..." * turns away ending the conversation.
    Me: :ohwell: What about giving ANYTHING?!? One hour a day and proper eating is too much?? ( I didn't say this...I just shrugged and told her let me know if she changes her mind.)

    Now, I am not the most dedicated person (working on that) but I do work hard(-ish) for my body and health. I love feeling energized and strong. I am learning new things about nutrition and health every day. I research. I read forums. I keep track of the effects of intake and output on my body. I try to eat healthy most of the time...

    I am sick of people telling me that I'm lucky! I am blessed to have had a mom that taught me self-discipline and nutrition and sparked a passion for it in me as a teen, but I work hard to be healthy and stay in shape. It is by no means "luck."

    How about you all? Are you lucky? Or do you just work your butt off? Am I the only person this bothers? Maybe I'm just *****y today...:blushing:

    Coming from someone who has been chubby since she was about 10 and would LIKE to look like you.......no, you're not lucky. You're dedicated, motivated, and you inspire me. I know that my "bad luck" is purely the result of my laziness, comfort eating, hunger eating, boredom eating, lack-of-willpower snacking, and did I mention laziness? You may not have been overweight as many of us are, but that's through your choices and hard work.

    Now there are people, like my brother, who are lucky. He eats like 2200 calories a day, mostly in junk food, and can't work out because he'll lose weight, and he's already bordering on underweight. Maybe the people who claim you're lucky just don't see you struggle and fight for your physique, or perhaps they think that they're complimenting you. I think that your answer to your friend was awesome. I need a gym buddy to get me moving, and the couple of people that I had been working out with are as spotty about it as I am. Personally, if someone had asked me to go with them to the gym for one hour every day, I would jump on the chance. ;-)
  • mikeatmichael
    mikeatmichael Posts: 92 Member
    Its not just about weight. People would love to get good grades in school or learn a language, but don't want to study more. They'd love to earn more money, but don't want to work longer hours or at a more stressful job. That's just the way people are.

    The key is to realize what a thinner body or better grades costs in terms of one's own effort. If you're willing to pay the cost you can have it, if you're not then don't complain.
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
    Me: "No seriously, One hour a day and eat right. You won’t be hungry or anything. Diets don't have to equal suck and after a little while, working out becomes addictive. I promise. We will work out together...I'll start easy on you tongue ."

    I disagree. Especially for someone who has built a life where enjoyment of food is a primary source of pleasure, dieting equals suck, and it always will.

    You have to learn a life lacking the pleasure of food, and that's just the reality of it. And if your body isn't getting enough food to burn and has to resort to burning stores, you're going to be uncomfortable. That's the reality of it.

    The reality is that losing weight requires you to think about food all the time. It requires massive willpower and this is why most people fail trying to lose weight.

    Also I have never found physical exertion to be pleasant, and certainly not addictive. What I find addictive is sitting in front of the computer playing video games. Anything that involves sweating and little drops of sweat running down your body making you feel like bugs are crawling on you is not pleasant to me. And the worse out of shape you are, the less pleasant it is going to be. Again it takes massive willpower to overcome this and again, that's why most people fail.

    Losing weight is hard work and requires constant attention every second you are awake. It's monumental effort.

    Most people can't do it and they know it.
  • mikeatmichael
    mikeatmichael Posts: 92 Member

    Most people can't do it and they know it.

    Most people have no idea what they are capable of doing. And there are plenty of posts in the Success Stories forum to prove it.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,996 Member
    While I attribute some of my health and fitness to my genetics, I WORKED DAMN HARD to get it and keep it. Lots of hours in the gym and even during times my friends went out partying.
    I liken what the OP said about people who "wished" they could play the piano. No they don't because if it were true, they would learn it and put in the time.

    There's always a difference between desire and commitment and let's face it, not many people want to commit for whatever reason it is.

    Get a backbone instead of a wishbone.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Isakizza
    Isakizza Posts: 754 Member
    Seems like her comment about "I would give anything" was just a compliment to how great you look. She isn't really going to do the hard work for herself, lol.

    You just can't help people who aren't willing to help themselves.
  • HannahJDiaz25
    HannahJDiaz25 Posts: 329 Member
    You know... I feel kind of bad for ranting about this online. She is a very sweet person, and the only annoying habit she has is complaining about her weight...and never being willing to take action. Oh well. there is no delete button. I just wanted to vent. But now I don't think I should have.
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
    There's always a difference between desire and commitment and let's face it, not many people want to commit for whatever reason it is.

    Get a backbone instead of a wishbone.

    Awesome.
  • bio01979
    bio01979 Posts: 313
    Its not just about weight. People would love to get good grades in school or learn a language, but don't want to study more. They'd love to earn more money, but don't want to work longer hours or at a more stressful job. That's just the way people are.

    The key is to realize what a thinner body or better grades costs in terms of one's own effort. If you're willing to pay the cost you can have it, if you're not then don't complain.

    lol I hate studying so I didn't really do it, but I managed As in University with little to no studying :) Drove my friends crazy :)

    but I do agree you have to figure out the effort cost for you and be willing to do it, no matter what the goal is :)
  • bio01979
    bio01979 Posts: 313
    You know... I feel kind of bad for ranting about this online. She is a very sweet person, and the only annoying habit she has is complaining about her weight...and never being willing to take action. Oh well. there is no delete button. I just wanted to vent. But now I don't think I should have.

    I think you are ok for venting, I personally believe venting is healthy :) Better for your friendship to vent here than flip out on her and make her feel like **** right?

    Also, she has to want to put the effort in, all you can do is be there for her if/when she finally is willing :)
  • shimmer615
    shimmer615 Posts: 55
    Maybe she's not ready to get healthy. It could be as plain and simple as that. I think all of us who have been (and currently are) overweight or unhealthy have had moments in our lives where we say "I wish I could be thinner" or "I wish I could eat healthier", and we (most likely) know what we should do and that it will require a lot of work, and are just not ready to do it. I know that I have been in that place many, many times in my life. Yes, I might be making excuses, but I am human.

    I think that just being a supportive friend will do wonders for her. Hopefully she'll get to the point where she stops wishing and starts taking action.
  • bio01979
    bio01979 Posts: 313
    I find that if you ease them into it rather than trying to slam everything you've done down their throat at once, they are more receptive to the gradual change. It took us time, research (lot of questions and answers) and a whole lot of discipline to reach the position that someone would envy. So give it to them in small doses.

    that is good advice I think :)

    small changes like work out for 20 mins twice a week to start (or whatever they will commit to)

    or find something they like doing (maybe the activity you do to workout for an hour is loathesome to them)

    I personally don't love gyms but I will go that route if I have to (prefer to have free weights at home for strength though)

    and don't even get me started on running or on how running somehow suddenly became the only acceptable way to get fit/active - I will do my hour in the pool swimming 2-3km thanks :)

    maybe it is the type of activity?
  • RCottonRPh
    RCottonRPh Posts: 148
    People are pathologically hooked to the "quick, easy fix" idea. I am a pharmacist and I get bombarded constantly with questions on whatever Dr. Oz's "magic bullet" of the week is. I get asked to recommend a diet pill and then get to look at people's shocked faces when I say "I don't recommend any of them". Doctors aren't much better...they seem to prescribe Adipex for just about everyone who complains about their weight, even though the risks of the drug are very high and the benefits very modest. I guess we are all still trying to believe the lie about having it all. You cannot eat whatever you want in the quantities that you want AND be fit and look great (unless you are a heavily training athlete). We cannot have it all...we need balance, moderation, and discipline. Everyone that I know who has noticed I have lost weight seems almost disappointed that I'm not losing it with a shake, a pill, HGH injections, a prepackaged food plan, or some other commercial weight loss plan. Nobody wants to hear that I plan my meals, cook at home, eat smaller portions, eat more fruits and veggies, eat less sugar and processed food, and exercise.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,996 Member
    You know... I feel kind of bad for ranting about this online. She is a very sweet person, and the only annoying habit she has is complaining about her weight...and never being willing to take action. Oh well. there is no delete button. I just wanted to vent. But now I don't think I should have.
    Shouldn't feel bad. If people just held disgruntled feelings in without an outlet, it would eat them up. It's not personal, it's just a vent.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member

    and don't even get me started on running or on how running somehow suddenly became the only acceptable way to get fit/active - I will do my hour in the pool swimming 2-3km thanks :)

    It's taken me a long time to realise that I don't need to run long distances to be fit. It took ruining my knees and not being able to run at all for 3-4 months to show me that. For some odd reason I thought that I had to have a goal of running a half marathon and that would make me a fit person. I think it was because it seemed like everyone around me was doing it. I've since decided that I'm very happy to stick to lifting, sprinting and playing sport