Ever been afraid you'd end up with an eating disorder

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Replies

  • workavoidance
    workavoidance Posts: 28
    I have an eating disorder. I love food and eat a lot so i work out tons.... lol

    That IS an eating disorder. It's called exercise bulimia.
  • Claire_x90
    Claire_x90 Posts: 94
    I did develop one.
    Mostly restricting and over exercising and obsessing with numbers... and after too long of restricting it turned into binging. After significant weight gain and guilt with that I started purging... now I'm just all over the place but 100% addicted and reliant on it.

    Similar things have happened to two friends I referred to MFP when I was losing weight the first time. Now if people ask how I lose weight I lie - I would feel awful if anyone else ended up where I'm at.
  • IHTSM
    IHTSM Posts: 51 Member
    I think dieting and logging calories specifically is very conducive to developing an eating disorder, but that might just apply more to people who have a predisposition. Hard to say. I've been anorexic, an exercise bulimic, and a compulsive overeater.

    I found logging brought back a lot of anorexic type thinking that I thought was far behind me, so I stopped after about 5 months. Then I went through a month of binge eating, and I'd never been a real binge eater before that, so that totally freaked me out. Now I have wicked body dysmorphia, and I'm finally seeking outside support, and just trying to eat normally again... so yeah... it's easier for some than others... but if you're afraid you're developing an ED, seek aggressive treatment immediately.


    Exactly how I feel - it is a pretty ****ty realization that I will never be able to eat without thinking and obsessing. I have seeked outside help but it is probably a life-long journey. I think logging at least helps me put my obsessive thoughts into something healthIER than my previous obsessive thoughts. But yes, it does stress me out and I am pretty much obsessed with logging now. Not sure I'll be able to stop, or what would happen if I did, and I don't want to go there at this point - scares the crap out of me
  • wonderbolt
    wonderbolt Posts: 48
    I consider MFP my biggest help. And my biggest symptom
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I was.

    My mother is a not so recovered anoretic/bulimic. It nearly killed her the summer I was 17. Heart attack at 72 pounds dropped her in the hospital for weeks. While she has since switched addictions (drugs instead of starving), the damage she did to her body during that time was frightening.

    So for years, I rebelled against any kind of diet reduction, terrified that I'd wind up with an eating disorder like her.

    Turns out, thank god, that eating disorders are not genetic. And by some miracle, I did not pick up any of her behaviors.

    My sister, however, did. It's heartbreaking.
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    I think I may have gone a little overboard when I first started losing weight. It can be hard but you just have to try and relax a little.

    When I first started here, I became obsessed with burning 500+ calories every evening after work. Maybe one rest day per week, if that. I also became obsessed with my diary entries and not seeing those red numbers on any category in my diary. I thought that I should cut out certain foods, and I did for the most part, which just sucked because food is awesome. So I was kinda bummed out.

    I’ll also admit that I sometimes have pretty terrible binges. This has always been somewhat of a problem for me but seemed to get worse when I was first starting on MFP. It became a lot easier for me when I realized a couple things.

    As I mentioned above, seeing the red number on your diary because of going over on calories used to be somewhat of a trigger for me. I’d be over by a small amount, maybe 100-200 over, and I’d just be like, “Welp, you’re already over your calories, you screwed up. May as well eat like a total pig for the rest of the night.” Stupidest attitude ever. Just because you’re a couple hundred over doesn’t mean you’re going to gain weight. Try changing your settings to maintenance and you’d probably have even more. So that’s what I did…on days when dinner turned out to be a bit bigger than I’d planned, or if I just felt like eating something extra, I’d change my settings to maintenance for that day so that stupid red number wouldn’t get to me. After doing that for a short time, I didn’t need to anymore. I just know that if I’m a few hundred over, it doesn’t mean I’m going to gain weight. I’m still at a deficit, and there’s a bonus cuz you get extra nutrients, yay!

    I don’t workout every single day of the week anymore, or obsess with getting at least a 500 calorie burn. I stopped cutting out “bad” foods and instead focused on hitting my target protein and fat numbers (or exceeding them).

    It’s a lot less stressful now and I’m a lot happier.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    No. Counting and logging allow me know exactly where I stand nutrition and calories-wise so I can have that pizza, cookies, beer or ice cream with no concern at all.
  • MeIShouldB
    MeIShouldB Posts: 578 Member
    I truly appreciate everyone for sharing their stories and being open. I've never had an ED, but it is in the back of my mind as something to look out for on my journey. If anyone needs support don't hesitate to add me.
  • intothepavement
    intothepavement Posts: 40 Member
    I've always loved food, and never worried *too* much about what I was eating. When I joined MFP to lose 7 pounds for a trip to Mexico, I found this site to be the most helpful thing. I lost that 7 without too much problem, and ended up going below my goal weight. That's where things went south.

    During christmas break I decided to take a break from logging (after having a little mini panic attack trying to log daily in maintenance mode, I couldn't do it, i was too scared i'd gain the weight back). I ended up overdoing it on the treats and quickly put on 4 pounds.

    When I rejoined MFP a few months ago, everything was different. I've developed a huge bingeing issue, followed by days of self-loathing and restricting, then another binge. This cycle has lasted for about 4 months, and I'm still in it. I've tried relaxing about the whole thing (I'm slim, so it's not the biggest health issue) being kinder to myself, watching out for triggers.. but I've become completely obsessed with food now.

    I don't know how to get out of it, but I also know that I couldn't leave MFP. So I think I can safely say that I have an eating disorder now, and didn't when i joined this site. Can't say for sure if the two are connected, but it's my belief that they are.
  • pinkgurl87
    pinkgurl87 Posts: 25
    I have dealt with an eating disorder for a long time, it has shifted phases first anorexia, then bulimia and now over eating, so I'm trying to find a balance in the middle. Tracking calories and exercise gets me back on track so I am eating less and exercizing more, but I also know that I am not eating too little.
  • pinkgurl87
    pinkgurl87 Posts: 25
    no. Unless eating too much is an eating disorder.

    Yes eating to much can be an eating disorder, it's called Binge eating Disorder.
  • theundead
    theundead Posts: 51 Member
    no I'm not worried for myself but I've seen a few scary diaries that reach around 900 a day. The only thing is website is going to make me is ocd, must log everything!
  • norahwynn
    norahwynn Posts: 862 Member
    I did for about a month about 6 years ago. I'd eat, then make myself throw up. It worked, until I realized that I was totally f*cking up my system in so many ways. After the month or so, after stopping the foolishness, I gained back what I had lost, along with a few extra pounds.

    It's not worth it at all!

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