Just need some advice/rant. Sorry guys.

Hi Nicky,

I'm with you here - very similar tale, but with lupus!

I've done the 1200, the TDEE, - 1900, now trying 1500 for a projected MFP loss of 1lb a wee loss.
Fortunately, I have not gained more than I started, but I have lost and regained the 8 lbs since January.

Like you, I 'm discouraged, concerned that the cardio and lifting is just aggravating stuff for me.
I am so tired now, it is untrue...barely able to work - but have to!

Could it be that your PCO S and my lupus are the sticking point?

I dunno.

Hey! Just read your post and I my opinion is....you have gained muscle perhaps? Cardio is pretty important in one's exercise regime...you should at least have 30 minutes of cardio per day (I think)...in addition to your cross training with any sort of weights/strength training.

There are always other medical factors that may be at play here too... Your thyroid perhaps? I am hypo...(so low thyroid) and for a while there I didn't know....and like you I was eating the same calories and exercising tons and stll gaining?? until I figured that out and went to my doctors.....the weight didnt come off.... so there is an avenue to look into perhaps?

Also remember, lower caloric intake....means your body will go into starvation mode....it will hold onto things if does not know when it will be fed next (for a lack of a better word lol)......so our bodies tend to go into "survival mode".....so in answer to your question of "is this the only way"..no.....keep eating your 1500 calories if need be....but be consistent....and if you are starving...although that may be a good thing (let's say first thing in the morning) or after a workout,....you need to listen to your body. Our bodies are an amazing thing....we need to listen to it more....it will not do the things you want it to if you don't listen...we are all bad at doing that unfortunately.


And lastly, Wow, 127 lbs at 5"5,,,you are perfect, why change a thing???? Remembr, fitness and health is a lifestyle which you already seem to be a member of....good for you.... it will all work out and you have it in you to figure this out and alter/modify your fit liffestyle to achieve all your goals.....You are a beautiful person don't ever forget that hun !!!

You will lose weight on the calorie deficit alone, exercise only helps to burn more calories in weight loss terms (though clearly it's a good thing to do from a health viewpoint!), so if you are putting on weight you are not following your deficit calorie allowance or miscalculating somewhere along the line.

I get it. I'm the same weight and height, roughly, and it's the biggest I've been in years and I don't like it. I too have lost and regained the same few lbs through the cycle of overeating then not eating much, then overeating again. I'm on aroud 1500 too now, hopefully will be easier to maintain, and I'm doing strength training.

Okay...at 5'5" inches and 127 lbs your are right in the normal range of a healthy weight which means you don't need to lose weight, you need to lose fat. Eating at a slight calorie deficit (you don't need to go any more than .5 pounds a week) and strength training will do that with HIITs.

That being said....and you being in normal range (and this isn't meant to be mean so please don't take it that way) but you might want to consider your mentality in this. Meaning, is it possible you are taking this into a mentally unhealthy area with constantly feeling inadequate about yourself (weight) even though you are within a normal range?

Perhaps, but I used to be size smalls, 4 in pants and be teeny, now I'm more a big 6, and for me that is terrifying. The fat also looks horrendously unflattering. Double chin, big shoulders, chunky hips, thighs, stomach. No one tells me I'm thin anymore, and I can pull the fat. It exists. I look out of shape even though I'm not.

I spose a small deficit is the way to go. Trust me I look more than 127. Probs am. But do not wanna weigh myself

totally get this. you've said it twice. i've felt it before. i know you mean it and it's okay. you know your pants are weird, you feel areas that aren't what you expect or want. let those guide you. don't weigh yourself yet, maybe later when you feel you've made some kind of progress. unless you find that elusive trainer I was looking for who would weigh and measure me with calipers but not tell me the numbers, lol. never found one but if you do refer him to me. no kidding but once you make the slightest progress you might feel inclined to get on the scale and then youcan use that as your starting point comparison. plus you always have those pants to compare with.

I was recently told my goal weight should be 138 at 22% body fat for my age of 43.

When I protested that my goal weight is 118 as that's what it was in my teens an early twenties all the way to nearly 30, he showed me a chart that has the weights go up as body fat goes up when AGE GOES UP. He said yeah the chart shows that 's a good weight for that age when you were there but look for your age now that would be "emergency time, like dial 911". I was shocked that it was the same number my husband had thought I should weigh as it was what I weighed when I met him. Then I go on MFP with my body fat numbers and CW other details and a fellow MFPer whose knowledge I respect pulled the same number seemingly out of thin air. Naturally if 3 independant people with independant methods and criteria land on the same number, I'm inclined to think it's NOT a coincidence and my number was just too low. And a result of my past. It's not my future though, i changed my GW on MFP and in my brain.

I'm wondering if you are not taking your age into consideration, and if that might be where the discrepancy lies between your goal and your body's status. I'm also wondering where Bodyfat fits into your fitness image. Could it be that you simply would like to have less body fat and wouldn't mind the number on the scale if your skin was more how you want it?

Definitely agree with what you are saying. I tried to just lose fat and gain muscle by eating a bit more and lifting heavy, but I just seemingly gained fat AND muscle. Not sure what exactly I need to do to lose the fat only? Or add more cardio?

what if you keep the lifting but reduce your cals a little bit? I always heard that a good fat to muscle ratio helps burn more calories even at rest. I wonder 2 things?

1) if at some point when this muscle gets to be enough you will start burning enough cals all thru the day that it will suddenly result in a sudden weight loss of fat whenever that teeter totter tips in favor of the muscle being just enough for that to happen....
2) it's late I forgot the 2nd thing. plus I'm up late with insomnia and tummy ache due to worrying about a problem so all that's distracting me. Why don't you FR me and so I can find you easier when I remember the wondering #2 I was having.

Anyways I know that it's beleived that you need sufficient protein to preserve the muscle whenever weight loss is happening. Wondering if your current cal goals are protein rich enough to make the muscle have what it needs to grow? ( I think my second wondering had something to do with "bulking" which is a term I'm not familiar enough with but have a vague sense of. Oh em gee...that concludes tonights episode of "The Blind Leading the Blind", LOL. Seriously tho' friend me and we'll find these answers together since they are currently my hot topic. How to make the rest of my weight loss fat only. I lost a little of both already but am currently at the lean body mass weight I should be at when I hit goal which means the only thing I should lose now is fat, all fat. Not sure if that's even possible?

Definitely agree with what you are saying. I tried to just lose fat and gain muscle by eating a bit more and lifting heavy, but I just seemingly gained fat AND muscle. Not sure what exactly I need to do to lose the fat only? Or add more cardio?

The whole reason body builders do cutting and bulking cycles is that you can't build significant muscle in a deficit (outside of a few very narrow exceptions) and you can't build muscle without getting some fat too. When you bulk, which is what it sounds like is what you did, you will gain fat. Then you cut to lose the fat and keep the muscle by eating enough protein and strength training.

Keep lifting and get enough protein. Most importantly log everything. Use a scale whenever possible, not measuring cups (except for free-pouring liquids). If you're still gaining or staying the same then cut calories, but not too much. You're in your health range so you don't have the fat stores to support a large deficit.

The way you describe your body does not seem healthy to me. I don't think you're really seeing yourself as you are. Try to work on focusing on your good qualities and engaging in positive self-talk.

Not sure why you'd want to be like 110lb at 5'7". I think maybe you have a bit of an issue with the scale.

2100 would be more like maintenance.

I would focus more on inches and 'toning' rather than the scale.

US 6 is a UK 10, right? Don't want to sound rude, but I don't know what your issue is. :noway:

So I am officially at my wits end.

After losing and gaining the same 13 pounds on the standard 1300 cal, heaps of cardio diet, I decided I was finally sick of starving/binge cycle, and started lifting heavy, pole dancing and eating more

Well

I'm not only fatter, but I'm the fatTEST I've ever been. I don't even fit my fat shorts any more. I'd say I'm 17 pounds heavier than I was last year, but I'm too chicken **** to weigh myself.

I was still at lowER calories for the first month of this, but upped them for the second and third month.

I may be stronger and have sorted out my PCOS, but I am miserable in myself.

I still eat healthily, but now eat between 1500-2100 depending on the day. I am 5'5 and I'd guess 127 pounds. I am small boned so I look a lot heavier than I am.

Maybe I was incorrect in cutting most of my cardio? Maybe lifting heavy 3x and pole dancing 2x isn't for me? Maybe lots of cardio and less calories is right.

I was just sick of being hungry, but I guess that is the only way?

I know that you've started doing more lifting so my advice would be to ignore weight for a while and start taking measurements. Around each bicep, around the navel, around the hips and around both thighs. If you continue to lift heavy you're going gain muscle and lose fat so your weight won't change all that much, which can be VERY frustrating. Seeing the inches stay the same or get smaller can help keep you focused on the big picture.

And for comparisons sake I am literally more than two times your size, and even at my goal BF (about 15-20%) would STILL be twice your weight.

Don't get too fired up about your weight. Keep lifting heavy and dancing and eating right and the fat will have no choice but to recede.