I want to cry - a million day ones

I feel like I can do this. This is the single most important thing I can do in my life and I can do it. I started this in march and did awesome for about a month and then lost 10lbs, then I started making excuse after excuse and the weight came back plus a little more and...god loves me anyway...

Every single day I start so determined to do this and change my life. Then later on something sometimes happens (not always because otherwise I wouldn't have had that 10 lb success). What the hell is going on lately with me? How can I be so determined one second and a couple hours later I forget all that and eat something less healthy? I've started so many times I feel like I'm losing hope for myself sometimes (but then time passes and I feel re-energized and excited again) . I feel like that dream I have everyday of what I would look like skinny is more and more realistic and less and less a dream . I don't even know why I try the impossible or the difficult anymore, I will just do what I can. I've wasted my 20's and now I'm not about do to the same in my 30's

fixed it for you.

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Also created your new thread title for your progress pics and success threads.

" I want to cry. A million day ones eventually led to success one day at a time.":flowerforyou:

You are fantastic sweets ^^ I'm proud to call you my friend :flowerforyou:



OP...you CAN do this.:flowerforyou:

A million day ones is the story of my life(all 56 years of it).. Those of us who have life long weight issues will face this particular challenge every day of our lives. We will never "arrive" at a weight and then be able to eat whatever we want. We will always be in the process of weight management. What seems to work for me is taking my eyes off of the goal (I want to lose 30 pounds) and putting that focus on the skills needed at the moment to be healthy. Sometimes that involves focusing on my fitness routine, other times how to avoid getting hungry before dinner or how I'm going to do to resist having 3 glasses of wine every evening. Really, I would have a great day of exercise and eating well and when 5pm rolled around I'd want that glass of wine, just one mind you, while my husband sat down with a beer. But one turns into two, turns into three..........and then I don't care what I eat. So now I drink my glass of wine on Friday or Saturday night and though it still turns into 3 glasses, at least that's only happening 1 night a week instead of 7. That is a huge success in my book. Food is not the enemy or the issue, our choices and thought processes are. Acceptance and change. 10 pounds lost is great! Take what you did for 30 days and tweak it so that you can do it for 60 days or 90 or for 6 months. Make the process livable day in and day out. The weight comes off more slowly, but it puts you in control of the moment rather than at the mercy of the past which you can't change, or the future which just doesn't exist. I made my life miserable for a long time by wishing I'd been born naturally thin and resisting the reality of how my body operates and what it needs to stay strong and healthy. Believe me, the older we get the more immediate and long lasting are the consequences! You can most certainly do this, one day.....or even just one meal at a time.

I think you need buddies.

Is there someone you can share this whole thing with? Or join a group and talk, walk, share the experiences with.
Yes, keep doing it on mfp or wherever, but see if there's a friend who will be your buddy. A bit like AA!!!!

Then when you feel like making an unhelpful choice, or feel down, or feel really proud of yourself because things are going well, you can share the feelings and count on their positive support.

Feel free to friend as many people on here as you like, me included, but find real buddies too. Mine really helped me.

And good on you for starting the process. You can finish it too!!

I agree with those that say you have to get out of the "good food" "bad food" mentality. Food is food. If you want to eat a burger, eat a burger. Eat less at breakfast to make up for the extra cals.

Also go here, read this:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

You will likely not stick to it at 1200 cals (the default MFP seems to give a lot of people) , because you simply NEED more calories than that.

If you need supportive friends, I've been here a while and I'm more than willing to help support.

I will ditto the others about making small changes instead of one giant one--it's much easier to adapt to and you won't feel like you're depriving yourself, which can lead to bingeing.

Have you considered talking to a therapist? From your post, it sounds like you may have self-esteem issues, and this can be a huge factor in trying to lose weight--many will self-sabotague without realizing it.

And here's a quote attributed to Mark Twain that kind of applies "Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it a hundred times." If you fall off the horse, get back on.

I agree too. This is exactly what happened with me. I used to think of foods as bad or good and would feel deprived when eating "good" then eat "bad" and be so upset at myself.

When I started doing this, I quickly realized no, I don't want those fast food fries or that candy bar because they'd take up too many calories. I didn't feel deprived because I knew I could have them if I wanted, so it wasn't a big internal struggle. Just more like a casual decision to skip it and go home and eat a more sensible choice of food. (Maybe oven fries I made myself or a square of dark chocolate.)

It took me 1 1/2 years to lose 70 lbs. Taking it slow, back sliding, plateaus etc. I have been maintaining about a 7 lb range now for almost 2 years. The support you get from folks here is invaluable!!!!. Keep it up, I will welcome a friend request if you are into grandmas for cheerleaders.

Beating yourself up is the problem. Not the choices.

One bad day/week isn't going to break you any more than one good day/week used to make everything better.

Move on. Make today better. You don't have to have your Rocky moment and be all fired up. Just do more than you did before.

There is so much positive advice already given. Remember, this is a lifestyle change. For some people small changes are easiest, for others "just say no" works, for others it is the exercise high, for others it is the motivation to see some measurement change. After my first week and losing 5 pounds, I was stuck at a plateau for 3 straight weeks. Very frustrating so early. After the 2nd week of the plateau, I took measurements... I knew I had to see a change in the numbers somewhere. Luckily, I did see progress.

I think we all have to open our minds that although scales and inches are where we want to see the numbers go down, we have to be open to seeing the numbers change in other places as well. My suggestion is to give yourself another way to see progress with numbers.... For example, on paper, put together a typical week of eating before MFP. (Yes, it will be scary... but compare that to what you did in MFP) If you consumed less that you used to, it was an okay week. As long as you can keep reducing your numbers to the point where you learn the lifestyle that keeps you in the MFP goals, you are INDEED making progress.

Another way of tracking progress is tracking how many more minutes you can work out, how much further you can go, how much more you can lift, etc.

Given that I am nearly 50, my mantra this time is "been there before, can do it again" and focusing on different "I WANTS". The past few years, I have been eating by letting my mouth and taste buds dictating the "I WANTS" instead of my mind and the rest of my body. This time, when my mouth goes "I WANT"... I slow my self down and think about the other "I WANTS"... "I WANT to wear a bathing suit and be confident", "I WANT to look in the mirror and see a fit body." When I find out that I ate something that threw me way over on calories or cost me way more calories than I thought, I think about what I can do differently next time I encounter the food or situation. Example, the 100 calorie Quaker chewy chocolate granola bars are good, they have texture, but they are not nearly as satisfying to me as 150 calorie ice cream sandwich. I save 150 calories for my "food reward" of the ice cream sandwich. It is my "food perk". I am trying to come up with non-food rewards for each 10 pounds in weight loss. Examples- Headphones to wear at the gym. Phone case to wear when walking or jogging... new tennis shoes... Or maybe something you love to do that is not "food"... Movies, museums, parks, zoo, site seeing, etc... Think of the non food rewards for each 5 pound success.

Good luck to you.

I tried and failed pretty much every single day for the past nineteen years. This time, for some reason this last January i thought I would try yet again and I am still going. I am 51 years old. If I can do it, you can too.