Living in an Unsupportive Household
Replies
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I too have a unsupportive household and one thing that i have in my home it a tote call mommy's tote and i put the dry stuff and fruit i eat in it and keep it put where they wont know it is there... As for the refrigerated stuff well i put it in the freezer and in freezer bag one at a time with seasoning on it (so one in each bag).. and i look at it this way if they eat it well they eat it with the seasoning i chose for it... nine times out of ten they wont eat it cause of the seasoning... Hope this helps you out.....0
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HOLY COW people! I did not expect to start such a heated discussion. Let me clarify some things:
- I would LOVE to live on my own, but I want to be able to go back to school w/o taking out any more student loans. The most plausible way of doing that is by living with my parents.
- Just b/c I am living with my parents again does NOT mean that I am mooching off of them. I DO pay rent each month and help out my fair share.
- I DO label my food, yet it still gets consumed.
- Yes, I did mention that I eat quinoa pasta and grass-fed beef. It does not mean I'm a millionaire, or that I have "extra cash" to be throwing around. It also does not mean that I make enough money to move out. It just means that I give up spending money on other things in order to afford these more expensive groceries. It also doesn't mean that I'm buying these groceries regularly. I consider them treats and buy them when I know I'll have a little extra cash.
- Lastly, I am VERY grateful to be able to live with my parents and to have them help me out with whatever they can. I am human, and I am allowed to have my frustrations.
I appreciate everybody's input...it gives me some perspective. I do like the idea of cooking food the day of, with enough to last as leftovers for lunch the next day.0 -
I feel your pain OP! I buy all of my own food, put my name on it, and hide it, yet it still somehow gets eaten by my brother. The other day I bought two packages of string cheese and put my name on one of the packages so he knew he had a whole bag of string cheese to himself, but in two days he managed to eat both his and mine! So frustrating because he knows he is eating my food and just doesn't care. If I find a solution to this problem I will let you know though!
Totally on the same page!!!0 -
HOLY COW people! I did not expect to start such a heated discussion. Let me clarify some things:
- I would LOVE to live on my own, but I want to be able to go back to school w/o taking out any more student loans. The most plausible way of doing that is by living with my parents.
- Just b/c I am living with my parents again does NOT mean that I am mooching off of them. I DO pay rent each month and help out my fair share.
- I DO label my food, yet it still gets consumed.
- Yes, I did mention that I eat quinoa pasta and grass-fed beef. It does not mean I'm a millionaire, or that I have "extra cash" to be throwing around. It also does not mean that I make enough money to move out. It just means that I give up spending money on other things in order to afford these more expensive groceries. It also doesn't mean that I'm buying these groceries regularly. I consider them treats and buy them when I know I'll have a little extra cash.
- Lastly, I am VERY grateful to be able to live with my parents and to have them help me out with whatever they can. I am human, and I am allowed to have my frustrations.
I appreciate everybody's input...it gives me some perspective. I do like the idea of cooking food the day of, with enough to last as leftovers for lunch the next day.
I know how you feel. I sold my house and moved back in with my parents to save money and had similar problems.
In the end we sat down and I explained that it was great how they were always supportive of my weight loss efforts but I really needed a bit of help from them to achieve my health goals and the best way they could help me would be to respect my choices and not eat the food I was buying so I would have something healthy to eat when I got home. I still have issues with some things like my avocados disappearing :-)
In the end we came to an agreement that I would do the cooking in the evenings and Mum would do the cleaning. I eat primal and I usually give them what I'm having with extra stuff I know they like but I can't eat. On nights I'm not home to cook I just ask for a portion of whatever meat they are having to be left aside for me to cook my way. If everyone is eating similar food there doesn't seem to be an issue.
Good luck - it's a tough one to address without hurting the ones you love but you need to ask that they recognise you are an adult and they need to respect your decisions and your space and set some boundaries.0 -
I don't understand. Are they that much addicted to food that they would sneak in your mini fridge in your own room? Or they just disrespect you so much that they want o piss you off by eating your food? What's the deal?
It's more of what mahanaibu said earlier - they eat it b/c it's convenient and just needs to be heated up. At least that's how it is with my brother, who will hopefully be leaving for the navy soon lol
Gotta say, the first time he steals a Navy buddy's stash of m'n'ms, he's gonna get a whooping he won't soon forget! LOL0 -
im just gona put this out there. i would kick someones *kitten* if they stole food from me after i asked them not to. i have 5 kids... some which are teenagers... SOMEONE is sneaking into my 100 calories snacks... i downloaded a motion detected surveilence app on my phone, and actually hid my phone in the kitchen just this evening... I WILL CATCH WHOS STEALING MY DIET FOOD... and ill break their fingers... j/k, i wont break their fingers... but, there will be hell to pay!0
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I would try overwhelming them with the sheer quantity of healthy food available. If they like your healthy chicken breasts, make 10 of them for the freezer. It's kinda mean to make yummy healthy food and then not let them eat it. I am the main cook in this house so I feel like it's part of my job to keep the food stocked up. That being said, if I make 10 and 2 are for me and they know that and will not respect it, there will be a Serious.Discussion. Nobody in my family wants to go there... :devil:
This. You mentioned they aren't on the same page, but will eat all of your food? Sounds like they can be inadvertently on the same page! I don't find it any more work to make a large pot of soup as opposed to a small one; I say just make enough for everyone to enjoy.
this just make food for everyone. I just live with my boyfriend who for sure is not on a diet he gets what i have but i usually give him a bigger portion and add carbs for him (i am on a low carb diet due to insulin resistance). If its a money problem just make them give you grocery money and you buy the supplies :flowerforyou:0 -
I wish I could offer some useful advice, but unfortunately people will always be... people. It doesn't make much logical sense to not support someone in their healthy life habits but I suppose somehow, that bothers some people.
You would think in a more mature age family in specific would be above eating food you work hard to provide for yourself.
I've had this problem with everyone I've ever lived with though, they'll consume a more expensive organic food of mine I tend to ration out over the week then complain about not being able to pay their share of rent or bills.
I've had to go the inconvenient way of hiding food in my bedroom (in my own damn house) and locking the door since some people just can't restrain themselves from eating things that would otherwise not be there to begin with.
I'll agree with buying food on a per day basis, it's what I do. Generally exhausting with work and gym and what not, but at least you'll always get food as fresh as possible and you'll be determined to cook it on the day.0 -
Hoping to get ideas of how people manage to still eat healthy while living with other people who are not on the same page. I can't really do food prep b/c my family will eat my food, even if I tell them not to. I also can't buy food and freeze it ahead of time (like chicken breasts) because my family will use it to make their own food. Suggestions? At this point, I'm thinking that I will have to buy groceries on a daily basis in order to live a healthy lifestyle...:explode:
The only thing I can say is if they want to eat like you, keep only healthy types of fooods in your house. Once I started, I stopped buying a lot of the stuff that would tempt me. After awhile other things were replaced. Meals in my house are all ways see food......'see this food, eat it or starve'. This way you will be killing two birds with one stone, your family will also be healthy and your food will not be taken.0 -
HOLY COW people! I did not expect to start such a heated discussion. Let me clarify some things:
- I would LOVE to live on my own, but I want to be able to go back to school w/o taking out any more student loans. The most plausible way of doing that is by living with my parents.
- Just b/c I am living with my parents again does NOT mean that I am mooching off of them. I DO pay rent each month and help out my fair share.
- I DO label my food, yet it still gets consumed.
- Yes, I did mention that I eat quinoa pasta and grass-fed beef. It does not mean I'm a millionaire, or that I have "extra cash" to be throwing around. It also does not mean that I make enough money to move out. It just means that I give up spending money on other things in order to afford these more expensive groceries. It also doesn't mean that I'm buying these groceries regularly. I consider them treats and buy them when I know I'll have a little extra cash.
- Lastly, I am VERY grateful to be able to live with my parents and to have them help me out with whatever they can. I am human, and I am allowed to have my frustrations.
I appreciate everybody's input...it gives me some perspective. I do like the idea of cooking food the day of, with enough to last as leftovers for lunch the next day.
I know how you feel. I sold my house and moved back in with my parents to save money and had similar problems.
In the end we sat down and I explained that it was great how they were always supportive of my weight loss efforts but I really needed a bit of help from them to achieve my health goals and the best way they could help me would be to respect my choices and not eat the food I was buying so I would have something healthy to eat when I got home. I still have issues with some things like my avocados disappearing :-)
In the end we came to an agreement that I would do the cooking in the evenings and Mum would do the cleaning. I eat primal and I usually give them what I'm having with extra stuff I know they like but I can't eat. On nights I'm not home to cook I just ask for a portion of whatever meat they are having to be left aside for me to cook my way. If everyone is eating similar food there doesn't seem to be an issue.
Good luck - it's a tough one to address without hurting the ones you love but you need to ask that they recognise you are an adult and they need to respect your decisions and your space and set some boundaries.
When I was living with my parents this is how I handled it as well. Mom and I would shop together and anything I ate they didn't I'd buy for myself and then pitch in on the stuff I did eat. It wasn't hard to prepare "extra sides" and then prepare the meat in a way we would all eat or set some aside before adding sauce or whatever for myself. I never minded if some of my food was eaten because there was always something available I could eat. It also helped that we each had different go to foods for eating outside of meals we ate together.0 -
Buy a used refrigerator for your room and put a lock on it.0
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Do you want to know how I honestly stopped a pesky roommate from raiding my food back in the day? I'm talking major pesky...she PICKED the lock to my mini fridge to raid it!
I showed her my food and said, "One out of every item had been tainted. If you eat it you'll probably have to go to the hospital. I suggest you leave it alone. If you don't...good luck."
For example: 1 of my chicken breasts had been left out to go sour (on purpose). Then I froze it. I made a tiny pinprick mark on the freezer bag to keep track of where it was.
She disregarded my warning a few hours later and drank a smoothie I'd made but was unfortunate enough to pick one I'd put a few saline drops in. She spent the entire night locked in the bathroom and NEVER touched my stuff again.
I am possessive of my items only when they're taken from me. Ask and I'll give all I can. But if you steal I get extremely aggressive @_@0 -
Oh and a quick note: I was young and didn't quite understand how badly sick I could've made her with the chicken breast haha! I would suggest dousing a chicken breast in salt to make it extremely unpleasant tasting rather that purposefully making it go sour xD
Making things inedible > creating bacterial playgrounds0 -
My suggestion would be to try to get them on board with the healthy eating if they are eating your food. Try to make a meal plan for the week of healthy dinners and then everyone in the house will know that the chicken is for dinner on thursday night or whatever. As far as food that doesnt have to be refridgerated, like apples, protein bars, stuff like that, leave it in you car or in your desk at work where they will not have access to it.0
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Do you have any unusual tastes? I personally like foods exceptionally spicy, so when one of my old roomates wouldn't stop eating my food, I left a couple favorites of his in the fridge drenched in ghost pepper sauce. I come home from work that night to see him sitting on the couch with a huge class of water and tears running down his face (I decided not to tell him that the water was just making things worse). After that, he didn't trust anything I left in the fridge and my food was safe.
THIS IS AWESOME!!!! I LOVE IT!
We have a problem with people stealing food at work and I had someone eat 1/2 of my lunch at my last job, but I can't imagine running in to this at home... are your parents perhaps put out that you don't want the food they provide, like maybe they think "this is my house and I have bought all the food since you were born and now its notr good enough?" I am not condoning it, just trying to imagine why your parents wouldn't support you.0 -
Is this family as in other half and kids, or as in parents and siblings?
Because if it is hubby and kids, you need to start laying down the smackdown.
If it is parents and siblings, and you are buying your own food and they eat it, you need to... well, start laying down the smackdown.
If you are buying food, with your money, for you, then it isn't cool that anyone is eating it. So my first point would be to call a family meeting and set out the ground rules. Pick yourself a shelf in the fridge, freezer and pantry, claim it as your own and raise hell if it is violated.
If your family is one of those who don't listen no matter what, then consider the above regarding a fridge of your own. But first step - stand your ground and let them know that helping themselves is NOT cool!!
It's parents and siblings. My father suggested that I keep whatever I want to hide in the BUTTER COMPARTMENT of the fridge. I laughed when he said that. I don't know what I can realistically keep on that tiny shelf.
Getting my own mini fridge is a great idea, but I'm not sure they will respect it. I'm gone a lot of the day (at work) and my room is pretty much fair game while I'm gone. A tackle box with a lock though...now there's an idea
They may respect the mini fridge if they don't know about it... disguise it by keeping hidden in the back of your closet, or under a dust cover behind a chair... not ideal, but better than nothing?0 -
A lock would make it a lot more respectable.Is this family as in other half and kids, or as in parents and siblings?
Because if it is hubby and kids, you need to start laying down the smackdown.
If it is parents and siblings, and you are buying your own food and they eat it, you need to... well, start laying down the smackdown.
If you are buying food, with your money, for you, then it isn't cool that anyone is eating it. So my first point would be to call a family meeting and set out the ground rules. Pick yourself a shelf in the fridge, freezer and pantry, claim it as your own and raise hell if it is violated.
If your family is one of those who don't listen no matter what, then consider the above regarding a fridge of your own. But first step - stand your ground and let them know that helping themselves is NOT cool!!
It's parents and siblings. My father suggested that I keep whatever I want to hide in the BUTTER COMPARTMENT of the fridge. I laughed when he said that. I don't know what I can realistically keep on that tiny shelf.
Getting my own mini fridge is a great idea, but I'm not sure they will respect it. I'm gone a lot of the day (at work) and my room is pretty much fair game while I'm gone. A tackle box with a lock though...now there's an idea
They may respect the mini fridge if they don't know about it... disguise it by keeping hidden in the back of your closet, or under a dust cover behind a chair... not ideal, but better than nothing?0 -
Maybe they aren't trying to be A-holes about it, just hungry and lazy... When they open the fridge and see your cornucopia of prepped stuff it seems easier, and they assume one bit here or there won't make a huge difference etc.
I am a hungry lazy individual. Although we cook from scratch here I absolutely love me some leftovers because it's easy and quick.
That being said, I get how frustrating this would be!
Have you tried an out of sight, out of mind kinda technique? Maybe put all your stuff in a bag inside the fridge so they can't readily see what's inside. Let everyone know it's your bag etc. Have one for the fridge and one for the freezer.
If they're specifically going into your bag, then I would say they're just being A-holes. Like I said, I'm lazy and hungry, but I do have boundaries and respect for somebody else's stuff.
It seems sad to me to think that you'd have to go to lengths like buying a mini fridge and stashing food.0 -
My husband isn't too bad about taking my food, though he was always handing out my reduced calorie pre-measured cheese to the kids when they had perfectly respectable full-fat cheese that just needed sliced. What I did was claim the crisper, put my reduced calorie food in there, with things like tomatoes and loose-leaf spinach on top. Not necessarily hiding the food, but making it slightly harder to get at so he had to think about it, and have the guilt that raw vegetables seem to induce in people who are trying to take "the good stuff".
That being said, when I cook enough for the whole family (I recently boiled an even dozen eggs to be used as snacks), and leave it on a shelf at eye level, it disappears fast.0 -
I make my own meals.0
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Buy a used refrigerator for your room and put a lock on it.
This or put a small fridge in your room and put a lock on your door!!0 -
It's parents and siblings. My father suggested that I keep whatever I want to hide in the BUTTER COMPARTMENT of the fridge. I laughed when he said that. I don't know what I can realistically keep on that tiny shelf.
Getting my own mini fridge is a great idea, but I'm not sure they will respect it. I'm gone a lot of the day (at work) and my room is pretty much fair game while I'm gone. A tackle box with a lock though...now there's an idea
You can get a fridge of your own and put a chain and lock on it
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\Do you have any unusual tastes? I personally like foods exceptionally spicy, so when one of my old roomates wouldn't stop eating my food, I left a couple favorites of his in the fridge drenched in ghost pepper sauce. I come home from work that night to see him sitting on the couch with a huge class of water and tears running down his face (I decided not to tell him that the water was just making things worse). After that, he didn't trust anything I left in the fridge and my food was safe.
THIS IS AWESOME!!!! I LOVE IT!
We have a problem with people stealing food at work and I had someone eat 1/2 of my lunch at my last job, but I can't imagine running in to this at home... are your parents perhaps put out that you don't want the food they provide, like maybe they think "this is my house and I have bought all the food since you were born and now its notr good enough?" I am not condoning it, just trying to imagine why your parents wouldn't support you.
I used to have this problem at work too so I just wrote the words BREAST MILK on my lunch container. Problem solved!!0 -
I think there is something u can buy that is a container with a lock u can put in the refrig, I was going to look for it for my son going to college and sharing an apt with four other boys0
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Hoping to get ideas of how people manage to still eat healthy while living with other people who are not on the same page. I can't really do food prep b/c my family will eat my food, even if I tell them not to. I also can't buy food and freeze it ahead of time (like chicken breasts) because my family will use it to make their own food. Suggestions? At this point, I'm thinking that I will have to buy groceries on a daily basis in order to live a healthy lifestyle...:explode:
If they are that disrespectful of your requests, get yourself a small freezer of your own and stick a lock on it. I am not kidding either.0 -
HOLY COW people! I did not expect to start such a heated discussion. Let me clarify some things:
- I would LOVE to live on my own, but I want to be able to go back to school w/o taking out any more student loans. The most plausible way of doing that is by living with my parents.
- Just b/c I am living with my parents again does NOT mean that I am mooching off of them. I DO pay rent each month and help out my fair share.
- I DO label my food, yet it still gets consumed.
- Yes, I did mention that I eat quinoa pasta and grass-fed beef. It does not mean I'm a millionaire, or that I have "extra cash" to be throwing around. It also does not mean that I make enough money to move out. It just means that I give up spending money on other things in order to afford these more expensive groceries. It also doesn't mean that I'm buying these groceries regularly. I consider them treats and buy them when I know I'll have a little extra cash.
- Lastly, I am VERY grateful to be able to live with my parents and to have them help me out with whatever they can. I am human, and I am allowed to have my frustrations.
I appreciate everybody's input...it gives me some perspective. I do like the idea of cooking food the day of, with enough to last as leftovers for lunch the next day.
I know exactly what you mean. Exactly. I feel for you. I lived with my mom and brother while I was in between apartments because I knew I was being laid off and worried about how long it would take me to find another job. After being on my own for so long and having to share space again it did get really frustrating - especially when I bought extra of certain things and it still wasn't enough. I bought a 2lb bag of shredded cheddar one time even though I knew I only needed 2 cups for a salad recipe. Went to make it and the whole 2 lb bag was gone. After that I really stopped making a whole lot. I thought about buying a minifridge but I was trying to save to move out and just didn't want to spend the money.
One thing that I did that had a little bit of success was leaving the cold foods still in the grocery bag and putting it in a bottom drawer. I also did tend to label things even back when I was in high school like shampoo and stuff like that. Otherwise I don't have any good advice - I ended up eating more lean cuisine and bringing food home daily and it wasn't always the healthiest.0 -
Make healthy food for all. Problem solved.
I buy the groceries, so everything my family eats is what is provided by me.
Ding ding ding!!!
Essentially you're saying, "I am trying to eat healthy but my family keeps eating all my healthy food!!" The very VERY obvious solution is for everyone to start eating healthy. Very obvious.
That might work as long as she's the only one buying groceries and preparing meals. If they are going to continue buying things she is unwilling to eat and still eat her things too it's still a problem.
Then she needs to start being the one that buys groceries and prepares meals. Not that difficult.
Except for the fact that this is her parents and siblings. Not a spouse and kids. Why should she have to buy and prepare food for all of them. They are adults for crying out loud.
Here is a fridge that might help..it locks
http://www.amazon.com/Compact-Freezer-Refrigerator-Lock-Stainless/dp/B000RHWT3M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372108595&sr=8-1&keywords=locking+mini+fridge0 -
Oy, that sucks. And I can't believe some of the responses!
I would try:
1) talking to them like rational humans
2) lockable fridge in room
3) poison and/or *kitten*-whupping.
Or make yummy things, freeze them and label them really unappealingly - lentil burgers, sauerkraut, brussel sprout curry etc.0 -
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We have a problem with people stealing food at work and I had someone eat 1/2 of my lunch at my last job, ...
I used to have this problem at work too so I just wrote the words BREAST MILK on my lunch container. Problem solved!!
I LOVE THIS! actually LOLed ... when I was pumping I was actually afraid to put pumped breastmilk in the community fridge so I got a small fridge for under my desk... also solved the problem as I also keep my lunch in it. I wonder it the label Breast Milk would keep these savages at bay?0 -
Sheesh, I say buy a compact fridge.0
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