I want to cry - a million day ones

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Replies

  • FredDoyle
    FredDoyle Posts: 2,273 Member
    Do it now bro. You're still young. I nade excuses all through my 30s and 40s. I said, frig it. I'll be fine. Grandad was morbidly obese and he lived to 98. Then I hit 50 and wasn't feeling so well. I went to the doc and my BP was so high he made me take meds in the office. He described me as one of those guys who's walking down the street and drops dead.
    I always made excuses. I can drink smoke eat crap, I'm fine. But one day it will catch up with you. Don't wait for a medical scare like I did. I dropped 40 lbs last year and I'm the healthiest I've been in 20 years. I feel great.
    I still eat whatever I fancy, just in decent portions and I don't swill beers. I just enjoy them.
    Stick with it bro!
  • PeachyFit
    PeachyFit Posts: 13 Member
    I agree too. This is exactly what happened with me. I used to think of foods as bad or good and would feel deprived when eating "good" then eat "bad" and be so upset at myself.

    When I started doing this, I quickly realized no, I don't want those fast food fries or that candy bar because they'd take up too many calories. I didn't feel deprived because I knew I could have them if I wanted, so it wasn't a big internal struggle. Just more like a casual decision to skip it and go home and eat a more sensible choice of food. (Maybe oven fries I made myself or a square of dark chocolate.)
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    "Half of life is fv¢king up, the other half is dealing with it.”
    Henry Rollins
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    It took me 1 1/2 years to lose 70 lbs. Taking it slow, back sliding, plateaus etc. I have been maintaining about a 7 lb range now for almost 2 years. The support you get from folks here is invaluable!!!!. Keep it up, I will welcome a friend request if you are into grandmas for cheerleaders. ;)
  • be_patient
    be_patient Posts: 186 Member
    I feel like I can't do this. This is the single most important thing I can do in my life and I can't do it. I started this in march and did awesome for about a month and then lost 10lbs, then I started making excuse after excuse and the weight came back plus a little more and...god dammit...

    Every single day I start so determined to do this and change my life. Then later on something always happens. What the hell is wrong with me? How can I be so determined one second and a couple hours later I forget all that and eat something bad? I've failed so many times I feel like I'm losing hope for myself. I feel like that dream I have everyday of what I would look like skinny is more and more and dream and less and less realistic. I don't even know why I try anymore. I've wasted my 20's and now I'm on track do to the same in my 30's

    i totally feel you man. We're so determined at times, and then at other times I'm just like "stuff it", and start eating whatever I want. Whenever I look at myself all I can see is fat, and that makes me more determined, but the determination fades away the next day and I end up binging. It also makes me want to have a quick fix, like go on some crash diet or something, but that's just going to make me lose a bunch of muscle mass.
    I eat well for a day or a week, but either way it feels like a century. I still don't know what to do about this so-determined-one-second-failing-the-next thing, but good luck. just letting you know i'm in the exactly same boat.

    if anyone finds a solution please share it.
  • downsizinghoss
    downsizinghoss Posts: 1,035 Member
    Beating yourself up is the problem. Not the choices.

    One bad day/week isn't going to break you any more than one good day/week used to make everything better.

    Move on. Make today better. You don't have to have your Rocky moment and be all fired up. Just do more than you did before.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    You are doing a strong and great thing now.. you come here and try. If you keep at it...the changes will come. When I'd come here and log..even though i felt like a failure because I'd eat over... I was getting smaller and it held me accountable. When I left for a month or so.. i gained everything back.

    So now, I log and keep at it.. improving little things.. finding better tasting lower calorie foods. I find ways to make the foods I love lower calorie. I figure another two weeks and I'll have a good plan down. So it didn't happen like magic....at least I am doing something. and so are you.

    Cut yourself some slack...
  • cabart26
    cabart26 Posts: 4 Member
    There is so much positive advice already given. Remember, this is a lifestyle change. For some people small changes are easiest, for others "just say no" works, for others it is the exercise high, for others it is the motivation to see some measurement change. After my first week and losing 5 pounds, I was stuck at a plateau for 3 straight weeks. Very frustrating so early. After the 2nd week of the plateau, I took measurements... I knew I had to see a change in the numbers somewhere. Luckily, I did see progress.

    I think we all have to open our minds that although scales and inches are where we want to see the numbers go down, we have to be open to seeing the numbers change in other places as well. My suggestion is to give yourself another way to see progress with numbers.... For example, on paper, put together a typical week of eating before MFP. (Yes, it will be scary... but compare that to what you did in MFP) If you consumed less that you used to, it was an okay week. As long as you can keep reducing your numbers to the point where you learn the lifestyle that keeps you in the MFP goals, you are INDEED making progress.

    Another way of tracking progress is tracking how many more minutes you can work out, how much further you can go, how much more you can lift, etc.

    Given that I am nearly 50, my mantra this time is "been there before, can do it again" and focusing on different "I WANTS". The past few years, I have been eating by letting my mouth and taste buds dictating the "I WANTS" instead of my mind and the rest of my body. This time, when my mouth goes "I WANT"... I slow my self down and think about the other "I WANTS"... "I WANT to wear a bathing suit and be confident", "I WANT to look in the mirror and see a fit body." When I find out that I ate something that threw me way over on calories or cost me way more calories than I thought, I think about what I can do differently next time I encounter the food or situation. Example, the 100 calorie Quaker chewy chocolate granola bars are good, they have texture, but they are not nearly as satisfying to me as 150 calorie ice cream sandwich. I save 150 calories for my "food reward" of the ice cream sandwich. It is my "food perk". I am trying to come up with non-food rewards for each 10 pounds in weight loss. Examples- Headphones to wear at the gym. Phone case to wear when walking or jogging... new tennis shoes... Or maybe something you love to do that is not "food"... Movies, museums, parks, zoo, site seeing, etc... Think of the non food rewards for each 5 pound success.

    Good luck to you.
  • Losingthedamnweight
    Losingthedamnweight Posts: 535 Member
    OP here!

    I can't believe this. I can't believe how much a thread changed my life. It's so much different seeing people say things like this on the board and then seeing people say it to me. I have the wrong perspective on life and i need to change it. I never thought anybody would give a damn about me and my situation. I've been exposed to so many negative people my entire life that it's colored my view of people in a bleak/hopeless light. I forget that there are good people out there and i should be seeking them out.

    I have a lot of mental issues i need to work out. The fat is just a symptom of a bigger problem. My mom isolating me from family, being homeless til i was 12 and even then, living in crappy situations. I never had anything my entire childhood. No food. No family. No place to stay. That when i grew up and got a job and had money, i appreciated food so much more than the everyday person that i just kept eating. It sounds ridiculous, but i was so poor growing up going to mcdonald's and getting a burger was a luxury. Combine the lack of food growing up with my mentally ill mom modeling all the wrong things for me, it's not something you can just grow out of and get over. I need help.

    I've never asked for help because it was always drilled into me that everybody would say no, so don't bother asking. But i need it now. I'm thinking more and more about my future and i can't get over this ticking clock i have in my head of my time running out. I'm supposed to be an example to my daughter of what a man should be and i've been good at projecting an image of someone that i'm nothing like (a happy caring dad) that i never thought to really work on my issues. The reason for living is to give life meaning and i don't want to look back on all these years and think about how i wasted so much time feeling sorry for myself and failing over and over again. I'm going to do it. RIGHT NOW because there is no such thing as tomorrow. There is no waiting on my life to change there is only right freaking now that matters because that's what i can work on and god dammit i'm going to do it. I need all the support i can get and you people are so amazing. I want you all in my life because your words mean more to me than anything.
  • mamadon
    mamadon Posts: 1,422 Member
    I tried and failed pretty much every single day for the past nineteen years. This time, for some reason this last January i thought I would try yet again and I am still going. I am 51 years old. If I can do it, you can too.
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
    10,000 mile journey starts with a single step and a motivation to succeed.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974889-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet

    PM me if you need help.
  • SteveK279
    SteveK279 Posts: 134 Member
    Back in October I was exactly where you are - motivation is tough, but it's completely doable. Sure it's not always easy, but life allows you to screw up and once you don't let it get to you, then it really doesn't negatively affect your good efforts too much. You can never change what you did in the past, but you can always strive to be better today and from now on. Once you stick to reasonable goals, you'll find the weight falling off. Sure some foods are better than others, but you really can eat pretty much anything once you stay within your goals.

    Focus on the reasons why you want to change, like your daughter and keep telling yourself you're doing it for her.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    It got much easier for me once I figured out I didn't have to cut out the foods I like forever... I just had to eat less.
  • evileen99
    evileen99 Posts: 1,564 Member
    Seeing that you come from a background of deprivation can certainly make you have food issues--I really think counseling could help you. Contact your county mental health department to get started. If you don't have a lot of spare cash, they can help you find affordable providers and/or programs.

    And hey, I ate around 4500 calories yesterday (had a party and I wasn't going to deprive myself of all the good food I made) and I'm not beating myself up about it, nor am I going to try to starve myself the rest of the week to make up for it. I may end up with a positive calorie balance over the week, but it won't be huge and it's not going to kill me.
  • ocsoanita
    ocsoanita Posts: 12 Member
    OP here!

    I can't believe this. I can't believe how much a thread changed my life. It's so much different seeing people say things like this on the board and then seeing people say it to me. I have the wrong perspective on life and i need to change it. I never thought anybody would give a damn about me and my situation. I've been exposed to so many negative people my entire life that it's colored my view of people in a bleak/hopeless light. I forget that there are good people out there and i should be seeking them out.

    I have a lot of mental issues i need to work out. The fat is just a symptom of a bigger problem. My mom isolating me from family, being homeless til i was 12 and even then, living in crappy situations. I never had anything my entire childhood. No food. No family. No place to stay. That when i grew up and got a job and had money, i appreciated food so much more than the everyday person that i just kept eating. It sounds ridiculous, but i was so poor growing up going to mcdonald's and getting a burger was a luxury. Combine the lack of food growing up with my mentally ill mom modeling all the wrong things for me, it's not something you can just grow out of and get over. I need help.

    I've never asked for help because it was always drilled into me that everybody would say no, so don't bother asking. But i need it now. I'm thinking more and more about my future and i can't get over this ticking clock i have in my head of my time running out. I'm supposed to be an example to my daughter of what a man should be and i've been good at projecting an image of someone that i'm nothing like (a happy caring dad) that i never thought to really work on my issues. The reason for living is to give life meaning and i don't want to look back on all these years and think about how i wasted so much time feeling sorry for myself and failing over and over again. I'm going to do it. RIGHT NOW because there is no such thing as tomorrow. There is no waiting on my life to change there is only right freaking now that matters because that's what i can work on and god dammit i'm going to do it. I need all the support i can get and you people are so amazing. I want you all in my life because your words mean more to me than anything.

    Really moving thoughts... I think you are on the right way and you deserve all the support and caring you can get from us!!!

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