I don't know what to think.
Options
Replies
-
Go away:)I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
You are joking right? No one is going to seriously tell you, and mean it, that you are lazy because you worked out inside because you are baby sitting. That's like what at least half of the moms on MFP have to do!
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
also *raises hand* i'm financially challenged...as are a lot of people on MFP. It's FREE afterall.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
will power. you have to get it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
you are totally making excuses and being lazy. sorry but getting in shape does not require a big gym membership and a personal trainer and someone to cook your meals for you. It takes just a little bit of information (which you DO have as an MFP member) and just a little bit of will power.
I lost 50 lbs without a gym membership or any gadgets. I went running- 20 minutes a day. I used MFP to figure out how much of what to eat. I stopped eating ice cream. I pretty much guarantee that there are people who don't have the resources YOU have who have been able to make a healthy lifestyle change.
ETA: I'm really supportive but I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, recognize that it's hard for a lot of people on MFP who don't have lots of money and have kids, and don't let your status as an average person with typical life stuff (bills and family that need help) keep you feeling sorry for yourself.
No, she shouldnt go away. All of her points are valid. It does not cost money or require special equipment to lose weight. Sometimes these comments seem negative to those who don't want to hear it, but its true. I am a single mom of two and I have lost over 115 pounds. I am beyond broke, I have no time to myself, no gym membership and no equipment really besides some dumbbells. I dont get to eat special diet foods really, I have to eat what my kids like because I can't afford to buy us seperate meals. I had to overcome the many YEARS worth of excuses that I was hanging on to before I started getting anywhere. Because we do all convince ourself that ours "arent excuses" but at the end of the day, they are.
I am not saying that is is totally your fault that you aren't fully motivated yet. yes, look for support to help you on your journey, but at the end of the day it comes down to how DEDICATED you are. If you know the ice cream won;t fit in your calories, but you eat it anyway, saying 'well it was there because my family likes it" is definitely an excuse.
I am supportive, I know Corvus is supportive and is one of my biggest motivators because she is a prime example that it takes hard work and dedication to meet your goals, but anyone can do it if they TRY and leave the excuses behind!
good luck and I know that if you stay focused, you will get there, just keep your mind on what you really want!:flowerforyou:
thank you.
I was a single mother on welfare who had to put myself through graduate school by working at the same time.
Most of my weight was lost by just watching my portions, making slight adjustments in how I ate, and running outside because I couldn't afford a gym membership or a treadmill. I would incorporate my child into my exercise as much as possible because it was the only way. I didn't have anyone to baby sit him. I just had to make it work.
And you don't have to give up ice cream, you just have to balance it out with everything else. Maybe a smaller portion with an extra ten minutes on the elliptical.
You do have what it takes is what I'm saying. And I know it's frustrating when you are comparing yourself to someone who has a private chef and their own entire gym in their house and lots of leisure time....but you are just beating yourself up instead of focusing on what you CAN do.0 -
Dum Dum Dum Dum....here come the jerks....sorry sweetie looks like they are going to follow you, the great thing about or human mind is wee don't have to pay attention. And you will likely never meat the bullies in real life so ignore them....
0 -
@alisaprince1
I don't understand how you can call these folks jerks and bullies. They are trying to be helpful by giving a different perspective and some tough love.0 -
Go away:)I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
You are joking right? No one is going to seriously tell you, and mean it, that you are lazy because you worked out inside because you are baby sitting. That's like what at least half of the moms on MFP have to do!
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
also *raises hand* i'm financially challenged...as are a lot of people on MFP. It's FREE afterall.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
will power. you have to get it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
you are totally making excuses and being lazy. sorry but getting in shape does not require a big gym membership and a personal trainer and someone to cook your meals for you. It takes just a little bit of information (which you DO have as an MFP member) and just a little bit of will power.
I lost 50 lbs without a gym membership or any gadgets. I went running- 20 minutes a day. I used MFP to figure out how much of what to eat. I stopped eating ice cream. I pretty much guarantee that there are people who don't have the resources YOU have who have been able to make a healthy lifestyle change.
ETA: I'm really supportive but I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, recognize that it's hard for a lot of people on MFP who don't have lots of money and have kids, and don't let your status as an average person with typical life stuff (bills and family that need help) keep you feeling sorry for yourself.
NO
she is right. stop making excuses and do what you can...dont worry about the things you cannot control.
sometimes it isnt easy to hear, but it is worth hearing.0 -
I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
I'm tired of getting called names and given words other than support just because my situation is different. I thought we were all supposed to be here and give a helping hand because we all know what it's like to be pushed down?
I am complaining, I know, and I'm sorry. But I just need supportive people around me. Not bullies.
Umm...you could move out and start an adult life of your own, instead of supporting other people?0 -
Thank you for all the kind words. I am not gonna lie, I cried a bit. Support and motivation are an amazing thing.
On a side note, comments like "grow a thicker skin" and "stop feeling sorry for yourself.. you are being lazy" blah blah are the EXACT sort of comments that drew me to write this post.
But you know what? (And this is just a recap) I'm NOT being lazy and I DON'T feel sorry for myself. The point of this post was to show the people that write those comments that as much as those sort of words bring me down, I still keep on truckin'.
I DO my workouts at home because that's all I can do. I didn't say I sit down and do nothing. I DO eat as healthy as I can given the circumstances. I didn't say I don't have the money so I don't try. I DON'T feel sorry for myself having obstacles, I vent about them for a second to get it out of my system, then I knock the crap out of those obstacles.
So yeah, I guess the lesson is think before you speak. Sorry if that sounds rude, but rude commenters obviously don't care so why should I?
I'm done. I've been through so much that I don't need a person on the other side of the screen bringing me down.
Thanks a million to all those who understand and support!
0 -
I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
I'm tired of getting called names and given words other than support just because my situation is different. I thought we were all supposed to be here and give a helping hand because we all know what it's like to be pushed down?
I am complaining, I know, and I'm sorry. But I just need supportive people around me. Not bullies.
Umm...you could move out and start an adult life of your own, instead of supporting other people?
That sounds like the ideal option but it simply isn't an option for me. I'm not going to leave my mom with a pile of bills and an autistic child home alone while she works 24/7.0 -
I mean... really...when people say it is better to run outside than to run a treadmill they aren't saying "you are such a loser working out inside on a treadmill! Waste of time!"
I mean. Geez. You even HAVE a stationary bike and an elliptical in your house. That's more than I could afford when I was losing my weight.
I am just having a #firstworldproblems moment.
The person who told me to run outside instead of in said I need to get my act together and stop being lazy. Close enough.
I got the stationary bike and elliptical from my neighbor who has bad hips and can't use them.0 -
Making excuses is exactly what you are doing. Get on the exercise bike. Do some push ups, some planks. Take your brother for walks. Eat smaller amounts of ice cream. If you want it bad enough you just have to do it in-spite of all the challenges you have in life. It's not easy for most of us. And you are 19. Your life is just going to get more hectic and stressful. You've just got to learn to make health a priority.0
-
Ok, here is my point, not that most of you will care lol, but, the girl has obviously already been told all of this by people maybe not even as"kind"as you, she is probably (I am just guessing).in a state of depression in which man up, grow thick skin, your being lazy..... All would sound pretty negative and ugly. Especially over a computer screen. You may have good intentions but if you twirly cared about this girl you might just refrain from any"tough love"for the moment and give get advice as a few others did without the get a life attitude...just sayin'.0
-
Wait, money is so tight in your family that no one can afford healthier foods, yet there is always ice cream in the house?
:huh:
Also, all of your "excuses" for not losing weight are related to your living situation. Get a job if you don't have one, find a roommate or something and move out and live the way you want to. That way you have no one to blame for not having the body and health you say you want. Don't have the resources? Get them. People who have good things in their lives rarely have them just handed over for free. They have to work for it.0 -
I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
I'm tired of getting called names and given words other than support just because my situation is different. I thought we were all supposed to be here and give a helping hand because we all know what it's like to be pushed down?
I am complaining, I know, and I'm sorry. But I just need supportive people around me. Not bullies.
Umm...you could move out and start an adult life of your own, instead of supporting other people?
That sounds like the ideal option but it simply isn't an option for me. I'm not going to leave my mom with a pile of bills and an autistic child home alone while she works 24/7.
But, sweetheart, it simply isn't your responsibility. It's your Mom's responsibility to sort out care for your brother and to pay for the pair of them - you can't put your life on hold indefinitely, especially when you've got your own difficulties around food/exercise (and everything else that happens when you're 19). What are you going to do - stay there for the rest of your brother's life at the expense of your own?
Taking control of your food and health choices often spills over to taking control of other life choices - and that could be why you're finding it hard and you're feeling picked on. Because it's just another bunch of people telling you what you can and can't do.
[Hope you don't think I'm bullying, by the way]0 -
Wait, money is so tight in your family that no one can afford healthier foods, yet there is always ice cream in the house?
:huh:
Also, all of your "excuses" for not losing weight are related to your living situation. Get a job if you don't have one, find a roommate or something and move out and live the way you want to. That way you have no one to blame for not having the body and health you say you want. Don't have the resources? Get them. People who have good things in their lives rarely have them just handed over for free. They have to work for it.
Ice cream is about $1.50 on sale at the store by my house. My grandpa likes it, so he buys it.
Also, I can't move out. I have a job with the State. I am my brothers certified HCA to help my mom out. I'm not going to leave her with a pile of bills and an unwatched autistic child.
I'm not asking for anything to be handed to me.0 -
pray for your enemies0
-
Willpower is just like a muscle. You need to exercise it for it to get stronger. And if you can't say "no" to ice cream... so what? Have a smaller portion, and/or make it fit in your calorie goals.0
-
You need little to no equipment at all to exercise.
http://www.marklauren.com/
http://www.fitnessblender.com/
http://http://www.nerdfitness.com/
You don't need to buy special food or diet stuff, or even avoid "bad" food. Just learn how to make use of it the right way.
http://body-improvements.com/resources/eat/
You do have to put in the time it takes to find/use the free resources you have available. I'm sorry that you're in such a difficult situation. Life can be incredibly unfair. But that doesn't change the fact that you have to want it badly enough to put the effort into it. Also, I know it might not seem like it, but the people who will be honest and truthful with you, rather than just patting you on the head and agreeing with everything can help you and give you more support than you could imagine if you're willing to put hurt feelings aside and listen. It's hard, but you can do it...if you want to. Good luck.0 -
^^^ this, .... The problem with internet is not only are there real jerks but even decent people who forget they are talking to real people not just a screen can get ugly, it is disheartening but dwell on the positive:)If anything, the internet is worse than real life. O.o
this.
that and the anonymity of the internet. People will say things or phrase things in ways they normally would not in person because it is anonymous.
also, in a lot of cases the issue is tone (or perceived tone) because there is no actual tone conveyed in the written word sometimes things can sound ruder or harsher than the person is actually being. Some people hate smileys but they can go a long way to changing the tone of a post.0 -
I mean... really...when people say it is better to run outside than to run a treadmill they aren't saying "you are such a loser working out inside on a treadmill! Waste of time!"
I mean. Geez. You even HAVE a stationary bike and an elliptical in your house. That's more than I could afford when I was losing my weight.
I am just having a #firstworldproblems moment.
The person who told me to run outside instead of in said I need to get my act together and stop being lazy. Close enough.
I got the stationary bike and elliptical from my neighbor who has bad hips and can't use them.
well, that person was a douche. It is true that running outside is harder/different than running on an elliptical, but exercise is exercise. Nothing lazy about that.
And then, now that you are saying you do exercise and you do eat healthy, I don't understand the problem. It sounds like you are doing everything right...
so who the hell is telling you you aren't? And why are you letting it get you down?
You are eating healthy and working out. You are doing all you need to do. The little details aren't so important.0 -
Ok, here is my point, not that most of you will care lol, but, the girl has obviously already been told all of this by people maybe not even as"kind"as you, she is probably (I am just guessing).in a state of depression in which man up, grow thick skin, your being lazy..... All would sound pretty negative and ugly. Especially over a computer screen. You may have good intentions but if you twirly cared about this girl you might just refrain from any"tough love"for the moment and give get advice as a few others did without the get a life attitude...just sayin'.
THANK YOU. Yeah, I have severe anxiety and some attached depression. It started when my grandma passed away but that's just an excuse. Tough love is not something I know how to handle just yet.0 -
I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
I'm tired of getting called names and given words other than support just because my situation is different. I thought we were all supposed to be here and give a helping hand because we all know what it's like to be pushed down?
I am complaining, I know, and I'm sorry. But I just need supportive people around me. Not bullies.
Umm...you could move out and start an adult life of your own, instead of supporting other people?
That sounds like the ideal option but it simply isn't an option for me. I'm not going to leave my mom with a pile of bills and an autistic child home alone while she works 24/7.
There are state-run programs which allow for respite and habilitation expenses for people with developmentally disabled children. There are after-school and all-day centers that your brother could attend while your mom works, which would probably be free to your mom. There is no reason you need to stay at home watching him.
It's great you care about your family and want to help, but how long is that going to on? When are you going to move out and get a life of your own? At 20? 25? 30? 40 years old? When you meet that one guy and want to get married,. is he expected to move in with you all and start paying your mom's bills, too? Where, exactly, will the buck stop?
Give your mom an allotted amount of time, (say, a year), to get her ducks in a row, to find alternative care for your brother, to not need to rely on you for bills and be independent. And when that time is up, move out and begin your life.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 390 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 921 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions