living with a huge eater? anyone else in that boat?

Well, let me first say that I don't think I'm jealous. I don't think that would be it. He DOES gain weight. He weighs 235 and he's 6'. He carries all of it up front so he looks about 8 months pregnant but if he wears the right clothes - it isn't very obvious. I think frustrating is more like it. He goes on and on about how WE need to exercise more. I'm 5'10+ and now weigh 168. still not where I want to be, but getting there. He tells me he's in better shape than I am. He's stronger - but I'm more aerobically fit.

I am NOT a carnivore but do eat meat once in a while. I prefer fish. I"ve tried to get him to play tennis with me but he says it would probably kill me to play.. He just doesn't want to, but he also doesn't want me to play with anyone other than the kids or grandkids. I told him I was going to bring my rackets into the shop and play against the wall in a vacant section of our building. He thinks I'm nuts.

Yes, I have kids. all grown and living on their own. I also have 12 (going on 13) grandkids. We are self employed and business sucks. He goes into our shop every day. I work from home, unless we have a job that requires 2 of us, then I help with that. Work has been really slow, so the bulk of that falls on me. He's great at it when we have it, but it's been scarce.

His Dad had a stroke at about 62 years old and spent the rest of his life in rest homes. I don't think my hubby is quite as bad as his Dad was, although his Dad did lose quite a bit of weight before he had his stroke.

When he was younger he could eat TONS and never gain a pound. He's 62 now and although he's still pretty lucky there - he does gain weight. If I ate that much I'd weigh 300 pounds. I'm kind of a light eater but would love to be able to splurge. I gained my weight when I screwed up my knee last fall. I could barely walk, let alone exercise. We have no insurance (self employement sucks) so I had to get over it by doing what I thought was best.

We've been married for almost 42 years and together for 4 before that.

I think what bugs me is when he says WE when he doesn't participate. I have a little over 13 lbs to go. I'm probably OK now, but wanting to be a size 8-10 again. I don't want him to have a heart attack and I know he's frustrated that he's not losing weight. How does one gently suggest that perhaps he should track what he consumes?

I eat frozen yogurt once in a while. he wants me to make the homemade butter pecan full fat stuff. He's addicted to fried chicken and LOVES Golden Corral which I try to avoid because I know ME. Every time we go somewhere he wants to eat out, so I try to go alone. I bring bottled water and a granola bar to KEEP me from wanting to eat fast food.

I'm really interested in all the input. I don't feel so isolated. but, for the record - this is kind of a vent of sorts.

Marital problems breed more problems when they are discussed with everyone but your husband. You should know this 40 years married.

Actually we are pretty happy. We do take walks almost every day to get the newspaper. We love to garden and just walk around our property. We've been business partners our whole life and don't hate each other. lol Not many husbands/wives have accomplished that. We pretty much agree on everything but this weight thing is frustrating. I wouldn't call this a marital thing.

I was just looking for input. Maybe I'm just grumpy today. Too much rain, not enough sunshine..................drinking my black coffee when what I really want is something really fattening..........:laugh: LIke one of those 380 calorie brats:laugh:

Who buys the groceries?

I try to go alone to buy the groceries. Every time I bring him along we spend 3x's as much.

I also try to 'feed' him if he's coming with me to the store. Feed him first - save $$$ We don't shop regularly. I can go to Costco and eat my way around the place and come away happy!

I joke with him about our grocery store runs. I head for the produce (because that is what I like ) he heads for the meat dept.

I can eat a toasted baguette with avocado and tomato for lunch. He just looks at me cross-eyed and gets a steak or something out of the freezer. I guess it's pretty funny. My daughter brings over this BLT dip which is mainly mayo and bacon and he LOVES it! I can't touch the stuff. Give me some guacamole and pita chips for a splurge and I'm happy. or hummus. He likes all that stuff, but it's second to all the bad stuff for him.

If it's fattening - he'll find it. If it's moderate - he'll overdo it. I guess I gotta work on him because he's a good guy and I'd hate to see him have a stroke. He'd rather be a goner than to put his family thru taking care of him like that. I can relate to that. I just don't want to be a stinker and really go after him for his bad eating habits. Doesn't matter how long you've been married - you still have to treat your spouse as you want to be treated. he is my hubby, not my child.

. If there's something I can do to be helpful, I will, but I don't try to have any control over what hubby eats anymore. I'll support whatever he wants to do, but that's it.

probably the best advice so far. He keeps talking about the no flour - no sugar diet which he did for awhile and I think it worked, but I don't want to do that. I bake bread and that has flour. Sourdough and focaccia as ciabatta are my specialties.

I eat very little sweet stuff. Sometimes - but rarely. I find if I eat sugary stuff I tend to want more of it, so I try to avoid it. I'm more likely to grab a bag of chips as opposed to a piece of cake (we never have cake around here). If we have a birthday gathering - and with 4 kids and 12 grandkids - we do - we make sure to send anything left over home with everyone else. Sweets and cakes and brownies and that stuff rarely gets eaten by us. Our dogs will eat it if we forget to send it with someone, but we don't have more than the token piece.

I'm used to cooking for a lot of kids so we still tend to make more than we consume. Fortunately my daughter with 4 teenage boys only lives about 5 miles from here, so if we made Italian beef or Chili or something - thinking they were coming over and then they didn't come? We just call them and they retrieve it - crockpot and all. The hardest part is getting my dishes back:laugh:

I made strawberry-rhubarb crisp last week when my son Daniel was here with his kids. I sent the leftovers home with him. little kids can eat that stuff and not gain a pound. That way we (and I mean the hubby and myself) aren't tempted...