Feeling the Uglies

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Prismapencils
Prismapencils Posts: 154
in Motivation and Support
I don't know why I did this. I guess I was just hoping to prove that nasty inner voice wrong when really these confirmed it. I kept posting on those silly, describe my profile picture in one word threads. Most people on the threads were described as either gorgeous or fit or whatever. People just kept describing me as random things, as if they were sugar coating the truth: how utterly ugly and imperfect I am. What do you think? Also, what do you do when you're feeling the uglies? :/
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  • jennagoogles13
    jennagoogles13 Posts: 266
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    I have a severe case of the uglies right now:( My self esteem fluctuates like crazy! One day I'm feeling super confident and great about myself, and the next I feel disgusting and just want to drown in some ice cream! I think it's normal for us to be critical of our appearances, and sometimes it's difficult to find the beauty in ourselves and our appearance.

    That said, from a completely unbiased standpoint, I can honestly tell you that you have a really great smile, and that I love your hair:) Also, I wish my back looked as nice as yours!
  • Prismapencils
    Prismapencils Posts: 154
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    How do you counter this feeling--especially when it seems everyone around you is a perfect ten (and they know it) and you're having crazy scalpel-meet-face thoughts? @.@'
    Thank you for your feedback. (And now she's run away due to figuring out I'm cray cray)
  • Rianne90
    Rianne90 Posts: 229 Member
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    I think you should really ask yourself why you're depending on what random people post about you in a very random thread to determine your self worth. What people post on there doesn't mean ANYTHING!
    But, if it bothers you that much, I suggest to not post there anymore, so you don't have to worry about people describing you with random words instead of fit & gorgeous.
  • jennagoogles13
    jennagoogles13 Posts: 266
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    You have to learn to quit comparing yourself to others. We are all different, and we can't all achieve the same things. Track YOUR progress, and strive to be the best YOU that YOU can be.
  • Prismapencils
    Prismapencils Posts: 154
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    Why do I care? I guess I wanted to know if there was any visible progress or to see where I am from an unbiased viewpoint. I don't know about self-worth. I view appearance and self-worth as entirely different things. Although, I guess there is some overlap, due to feeling upset at the result.
  • snowboardandasuitcase
    snowboardandasuitcase Posts: 222 Member
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    I completely agree that you have an amazing smile! You also seem like you'd be a lot of fun to hang out with. I'm not a guy, so I'm sure what I'm saying won't have the same weight as if some hot guy said it to you (let's be honest) but I do mean it! :smile:

    Personally, I don't like those threads. I'm not on MFP to be judged by others, I'm here to get healthier and be able to feel strong. I don't care what user "hsnsf80g" thinks of my profile picture, and I know we all have different personal tastes, so I'm not everyone's "flavour". My bf's is the only opinion that has any weight with me, and even then, if he decides he no longer likes it, he can take a hike! ;)

    I, like everyone else, have a bad day or two, and on those days I like to put on my favourite outfit (generally a looser-fitting one) and do my hair and makeup, so everytime I pass the mirror I get a little boost. Sure beats feeling like hell when I pass my sweatpant-wearing, chocolate-covered face in the mirror! :bigsmile:

    You could try to steer clear of those threads, or post a "I'm hot as hell" pic on your profile! (Hint: to be considered "gorgeous" you must wear 1) TONS of makeup (hide the real you) and 2) a VERY low-cut top combo'd with an extreme push-up. Make sure you take the pic at a ridiculous angle, so no one can actually tell you have a neck. If you follow these easy steps, every creepy guy on MFP will say you're hot!.... did I mention CREEPY? K, just checking.) ** This is BS, please be a normal human being. You are gorgeous, and don't need the creeps to say it out loud.

    :smile:
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    I have fully embraced and accepted my ugliness . Peruse the profiles of us uglies or visit people of Walmart. I'm not a perfect 10 more like a1 use those of us who are really ugly to help you
  • Prismapencils
    Prismapencils Posts: 154
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    Hahaha. You made my day with your honesty. Not that the others were dishonest. I sense I'm digging myself into a hole here: moving on. Also, your opinion would actually carry more weight than that of males due to your aforementioned criteria for creepy MFP guys.

    I like that strategy. I think I'm going to adopt it--plus a tweak. When I'm feeling the uglies, I'm going to do something awesome to remind myself that I'm anything but. I'd rather keep my non-thigh-gap legs because they are strong and can carry me through the woods. My nose is large and in charge, but it can smell all these perfumes. Yes, I'm going to spoil myself during these times.
  • londonboyben
    londonboyben Posts: 314 Member
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    1st off, you are far from ugly,
    and truth be told them kind of games in chit chat are pretty much guaranteed to hurt somebodies feelings, unless you have no self confidence issues at all or can accept others judgement be it good or bad then probably best to avoid them

    secondly, in no way should you allow random people to bring you down,
    if your looking for people to tell you that you are hot then start by believing it yourself, seeking assurances on a mindless chit chat game full of random strangers is not something that should bother you either way, and sounds like you dont have the self confidence to deal with any answer other than the one you want to hear,

    be more concerned with how you feel about yourself rather than what people judge by 1 random photo of you,

    chin up,. and smile, because your smile really suits you :)
  • Mario_Az
    Mario_Az Posts: 1,331 Member
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    ugly you are not but we all have our prejudices on who we are attracted to in the end who ever you will find will think you are hot so doesn't matter
  • snowboardandasuitcase
    snowboardandasuitcase Posts: 222 Member
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    Hahaha. You made my day with your honesty. Not that the others were dishonest. I sense I'm digging myself into a hole here: moving on. Also, your opinion would actually carry more weight than that of males due to your aforementioned criteria for creepy MFP guys.

    I like that strategy. I think I'm going to adopt it--plus a tweak. When I'm feeling the uglies, I'm going to do something awesome to remind myself that I'm anything but. I'd rather keep my non-thigh-gap legs because they are strong and can carry me through the woods. My nose is large and in charge, but it can smell all these perfumes. Yes, I'm going to spoil myself during these times.


    ooooooh perfume! now you're talking!! :D

    I'm totally on board with the whole "strong over skinny" thing. If I had to choose one to work towards, you better believe it's gonna be strong! ..Plus, weak girls can't pick up a beer, the poor things... :drinker:

    :bigsmile:
  • jennpaulson
    jennpaulson Posts: 850 Member
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    Personally I think you're a very pretty girl and I don't think you have a large nose either : ) Keep your chin up and keep smiling!
  • Prismapencils
    Prismapencils Posts: 154
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    Thank you for your feedback as well.

    Yeah, another reason I posted was for a confidence test, which obviously I didn't do so well on. I've always struggled a bit with my self-esteem. I was hoping that I would have enough self-esteem to not care regardless of the outcome. WRONG. Still did. :/
    I was also wondering how honest everyone would be. Everyone was rated above a five. This meant that either the posters thought that everyone looked better than average or that they were being nice. If the latter is the case, I am annoyed that I still lost confidence.
  • sophiemama
    sophiemama Posts: 62 Member
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    1st off, you are far from ugly,
    and truth be told them kind of games in chit chat are pretty much guaranteed to hurt somebodies feelings, unless you have no self confidence issues at all or can accept others judgement be it good or bad then probably best to avoid them

    secondly, in no way should you allow random people to bring you down,
    if your looking for people to tell you that you are hot then start by believing it yourself, seeking assurances on a mindless chit chat game full of random strangers is not something that should bother you either way, and sounds like you dont have the self confidence to deal with any answer other than the one you want to hear,

    be more concerned with how you feel about yourself rather than what people judge by 1 random photo of you,

    chin up,. and smile, because your smile really suits you :)




    Everything he said! What a sweet guy huh? I agree you are very far from ugly! I hope you realize how truly beautiful you are. And also this is exactly the reason why I do not participate in those threads. My self esteem doesn't deserve that kinda beating
  • Prismapencils
    Prismapencils Posts: 154
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    I keep forgetting to quote or to mention the person I'm responding to. Sorry about that. :/
  • Loveisaiah
    Loveisaiah Posts: 51
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    I would rather be known for my accomplishments instead of just being known as pretty..
  • mariliak
    mariliak Posts: 36 Member
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    who cares about being pretty or ugly when you are an intelligent women with confidence . Being pretty fades away at some point and seriously I would much rather have people like me for how intresting and fun I am rather my face or my body . Jesus people liking you for your looks is overestimated and shallow . There are so mane pretty girls , with gorgeous bodys that canot carry on a decent conversation and I wouldnt change my mind for looks . I just try to make the best of what I got , and I am quiet confident about it . So whenever you feel ugly first realize there is worse and secondly all people are beautiful in their own way , , old , fat ,crippled , So why bother ?
  • Prismapencils
    Prismapencils Posts: 154
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    Everything he said! What a sweet guy huh? I agree you are very far from ugly! I hope you realize how truly beautiful you are. And also this is exactly the reason why I do not participate in those threads. My self esteem doesn't deserve that kinda beating

    Thank you. You are wiser than I, obviously. XP
  • sophiemama
    sophiemama Posts: 62 Member
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    Everything he said! What a sweet guy huh? I agree you are very far from ugly! I hope you realize how truly beautiful you are. And also this is exactly the reason why I do not participate in those threads. My self esteem doesn't deserve that kinda beating

    Thank you. You are wiser than I, obviously. XP



    Oh I wouldn't go that far ;)
  • Prismapencils
    Prismapencils Posts: 154
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    who cares about being pretty or ugly when you are an intelligent women with confidence . Being pretty fades away at some point and seriously I would much rather have people like me for how intresting and fun I am rather my face or my body . Jesus people liking you for your looks is overestimated and shallow . There are so mane pretty girls , with gorgeous bodys that canot carry on a decent conversation and I wouldnt change my mind for looks . I just try to make the best of what I got , and I am quiet confident about it . So whenever you feel ugly first realize there is worse and secondly all people are beautiful in their own way , , old , fat ,crippled , So why bother ?

    Yeah. It is shallow, but it's something that I guess has been brainwashed into me from art classes. As I'm drawing my subject, I'm thinking, "Wow. He/she's so handsome/beautiful. I wish I could look like that from all angles and be a work of art too." I wish I could appreciate myself in the same way? It's really stupid, I know, but I think at some point we all want to look good for whatever reason. I mean, the protagonists of books or movies--the heroes--are usually also good-looking. It would be a really long movie if not. (God, that sounded awful.) Then again, I'm proven wrong by Harry Potter actually. In the books, the characters are described as average with really bizarre features, and look how popular they grew.

    I do agree with you that having a good mind is the way to go.

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