...I really need a Lap band?

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  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    It sounds like your family isn't ready to deal with your emotional aspects of losing weight...most likely because they're not ready to deal with their own emotional issues. I know it's hard, but congrats on being willing to stand up for yourself. Family members who aren't ready to face their own issues can sometimes sabotage those who are, because it causes them to look at what's wrong with themselves. Having said that, don't let them stop you from doing what's right for you. If you don't want the surgery, don't get it! You'll just end up resenting your family later if you let them talk you into it.
  • 1princesswarrior
    1princesswarrior Posts: 1,242 Member
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    So your mom had surgery and eats wings and diet mtn dew. I'm betting she's seriously undernourished at best and obviously hasn't changed her lifestyle at all, she just can't eat the same amounts as before.

    I don't know your insurance situation or if your still in school, etc. But you're right in wanting to see a therapist and a dietician. If that absolutely won't work you may want to read The Beck Diet Solution. It teaches you how to use cognitive behavior theory to lose weight on your own without surgery. Even if you decided to get the surgery you need to figure out why you are depressed and why you reach out to food or the surgery will fail. A good surgeon should tell you that as well, if he/she doesn't it's a big red flag in my opinion.

    Good luck and this is a really supportive community. Feel free to add me if you want.
  • SusanB148
    SusanB148 Posts: 72 Member
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    Hi,

    I suggest that you stand up to your mother and CANCEL the appointment to get a lap band!

    Even though the doctors that profit from doing WLS try and make you think it's safe, it is still MAJOR SURGERY!

    Most people that have weight loss surgery of any kind have many more long term complications than the doctors tell them to expect.

    Here are a few web links you can read and show your mother:

    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/lap-band-surgery-half-patients-complications/story?id=13187452

    http://www.hungryforchange.tv/article/dangers-of-lap-band-surgery

    http://www.livestrong.com/article/15593-dangers-lap-band-surgery
  • JRSchumaker
    JRSchumaker Posts: 93 Member
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    I'm still going to the appointment, but I'm pushing for a therapist because I do have a lot of emotional issues that may be contributing to this.


    WHY are you going to this appointment?
  • punkture
    punkture Posts: 15
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    lol, politefully thank your family then:

    1-Join a gym
    2-do weights
    3-cardio every day and night
    4-adjust eating to compensate
    5-get shredded.

    easy!
  • axialmeow
    axialmeow Posts: 382 Member
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    Lap band won't help a food addiction. You are 21. You call the shots. Decide what to do for yourself.
  • tleighs64
    tleighs64 Posts: 12
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    Do what feels right in your mind and heart. Don't let anyone try to push you. You are young; your body is capable of a great deal. Believe you can make the changes you want to make. We believe you can do it.

    I am 49, weight 265 lbs and have had type 2 diabetes for 4 years. I started at 310 lbs. From the moment I was diagnosed, my doctor tried to push me towards injectible medications. I pushed back. I told him as long as there were pills that do the same thing as the needles, I opt for pills. It is bad enough I have to poke my fingers 5 times a day to test my blood, I am not sticking myself with a needle anywhere else for any reason.

    He also started pushing me about weight loss surgery. I have had multiple surgeries over my life for a variety of medical reasons. I am not going in for another procedure. I told him I knew I was fat, I knew I now had a problem, and I had to make changes. I wanted to do it slowly and do it the right way and not count on quick fixes. (I had a friend who had the lap band and had nothing but problems. When she had it removed, she ballooned up past her original starting weight. )

    I told him I appreciate his advice, but ultimately the course of my treatment is mine after I consider his recommendations, do research and seek second opinions. I also let him know if he continued to try and push me down a path I did not want to travel, I would seek another physician. He said he respected my feelings and would help me treat my condition within my boundaries.

    Granted, 45 lbs loss in 4 years is nothing to crow about BUT I have managed to keep that weight off. I have not gone back up. I will get to my goal weight, eventually. You need to get to where you want to be on terms you can accept.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    lol, politefully thank your family then:

    1-Join a gym
    2-do weights
    3-cardio every day and night
    4-adjust eating to compensate
    5-get shredded.

    easy!

    What? No.

    1 - Focus on eating at a calorie deficit. If you are following MFP, pick the 1lb/week loss goal and net the calorie goal. Netting that # means eating the # they assign plus exercise calories back.

    *Note: If you are using an HRM to get a more accurate reading on your cals burned, make sure to -30% due to inaccuracies.

    2 - Find a weight training program you like. Check out Stronglifts, Starting Strength, Wendler, and NROLFW. Pick one and stick with it. If you lack equipment, check out Convict Conditioning and You Are Your Own Gym.

    3 - Still include Cardio if you like it. Try to do it on the days you aren't lifting in order not to burn yourself out.

    4 - Include at least 1 day a week as a rest day. It can be an "active" rest day if staying active everyday helps keep you in track. active rest days can be days you do yoga, foam rolling, walking and such.

    5 - Choose a body fat % goal over a scale #. the scale is unreliable and can fluctuate up to 10-12lbs due to food intake, water retention, etc...especially around your period. Rely on measurements more to track your progress.

    Also, set up fitness goals and focus more on these. You'll find yourself able to keep motivated by doing so.

    Overall, make a commitment to yourself to get healthier and take it a step at a time.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Do what feels right in your mind and heart. Don't let anyone try to push you. You are young; your body is capable of a great deal. Believe you can make the changes you want to make. We believe you can do it.

    I am 49, weight 265 lbs and have had type 2 diabetes for 4 years. I started at 310 lbs. From the moment I was diagnosed, my doctor tried to push me towards injectible medications. I pushed back. I told him as long as there were pills that do the same thing as the needles, I opt for pills. It is bad enough I have to poke my fingers 5 times a day to test my blood, I am not sticking myself with a needle anywhere else for any reason.

    He also started pushing me about weight loss surgery. I have had multiple surgeries over my life for a variety of medical reasons. I am not going in for another procedure. I told him I knew I was fat, I knew I now had a problem, and I had to make changes. I wanted to do it slowly and do it the right way and not count on quick fixes. (I had a friend who had the lap band and had nothing but problems. When she had it removed, she ballooned up past her original starting weight. )

    I told him I appreciate his advice, but ultimately the course of my treatment is mine after I consider his recommendations, do research and seek second opinions. I also let him know if he continued to try and push me down a path I did not want to travel, I would seek another physician. He said he respected my feelings and would help me treat my condition within my boundaries.

    Granted, 45 lbs loss in 4 years is nothing to crow about BUT I have managed to keep that weight off. I have not gone back up. I will get to my goal weight, eventually. You need to get to where you want to be on terms you can accept.

    Have to disagree with you. 45lbs lost in 4 years IS something to be proud about. Congrats on your loss :)
  • DreamCowgirl
    DreamCowgirl Posts: 2
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    I lost 20 pounds and gained 30 cluts.I gorge myself so im so full that i cant fit any more and stomach feels like its going to burst then i eat some more and cant move or sleep so i cry that's all i can do and regret everything I ate I wana be soon to be a bad *kitten* rodeo girl that a cowboy just cant say no to :!SO WE CAN BE BUDDIES hey we just need support!:
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,153 Member
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    I personally think that a dietician is a good idea. I worked with a dietician for the first six months of my weight loss, and found it very beneficial. A dietician is an objective person who can teach you how to eat and keep you accountable. Learning the proper portion sizes, proper meal breakdowns and how to pay attention to what you eat are all beneficial skills that will serve you well in the long term. In spite of many of the responses provided, there is no shame in needing help to get on the right path to health. A lap band is a tool, but it is a tool of last resort and should not be used lightly. Make sure you go with a dietician and not a nutritionist; you want someone who is properly licensed and certified, and nutritionists are not controlled by a licensing board. Good luck.
  • SusanB148
    SusanB148 Posts: 72 Member
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    I would also like to suggest that you think about setting up some strong boundaries in dealing with your mother.

    From what I have read, your mother's recent dealings with you have not been helpful, and she needs to know that if she wants you to maintain relations with her, she will have to lay off telling you what to do about your weight, how to take care of your health -- or any other subjects that are causing you to feel upset and depressed.

    If she does not follow your rules, place limits on the amount of contact she can have with you.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    Good for you for wanting to lose the weight naturally. Even if you get a lap band, you will still have the emotional side to deal with, and that's what your family needs to understand. The lap band will fail miserably if you don't deal with WHY you are overeating in the first place. Plus, you want to be healthy for the rest of your life, right? Explain to your family that to be successful in the long-term, you need to learn to eat right and fuel your body properly, and a lap band is just an easy way out.

    I've already explained to then what my concerns were about the long-term condition of my overeating and they won't listen. Then they get angry with me for throwing their idea away.

    I mean, it just looks like I'll have to do this the hard way and be firm with them about how I feel. I'm still going to the appointment, but I'm pushing for a therapist because I do have a lot of emotional issues that may be contributing to this.
    Why are you explaining yourself to them? They aren't the boss of you. You are an adult and you don't have to explain your life decisions to anyone. Tell them to FOAD and don't even bother arguing with them, because doing so gives them the idea that it's their place to participate in decision making for you.
  • NonnyMary
    NonnyMary Posts: 982 Member
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    If you get a lap band, you still have to deal with your food habits. That wont make it go away. So the lap band is not the savior of weight loss. it has a lot of complications. The most icky thing to me about it is that when they insert it inside you, they also have what is called a portal that is under your skin. then every month or so, you have to go to the doctor and he sticks a needle in that port to either add or reduce saline. Do you want that? But there are complications, like bleeding, or your body rejecting a foreign object.

    Please read up about it, its not so easy as everyone might think.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    Lose the lap band suggestion.

    Get a spine.
  • corgicake
    corgicake Posts: 846 Member
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    I never really thought of myself as an emotional eater, but I must be. I always just thought I was obsessed with food. And that was it. I'm just always eating. But I'm trying to resist it.

    And my mother, all she eats is bbq wings and diet mountain dew and she had a gastric bypass really early. I just feel quite gross when I think of it and I don't want surgery for me.

    THIS.

    Folks who took a path that they themselves feel shame over tend to hate on people who got what they wanted without taking that path... and they're utterly vicious toward those who plan to do that. You are not a girl. You are a full grown WOMAN and an ADULT fully capable of telling the haters to kiss it while there's still enough to go around, family or not.

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