i just cried resisting the urge to eat junk food (binge)
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I went through the same thing a few weeks back when my husband brought home pizza for dinner. Pizza is my red light, cannot have just one or two slices food.
The smell of the stuff was maddening, and I have to say that was the most difficult evening of my weight loss journey so far. But, I told myself that I can have pizza some other time, just not now.
BTW, that was several lbs. ago. I'm still alive.
Hang in there! You can do this. 1 -
well done! One step at a time x0
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oh man...smh...0
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Breaking the sugar habit is the hardest. I know I have been right where you are, but I gave in and I felt so lousy afterward that I didn't even enjoy my cake and ice cream splurge. That was a couple of months ago and I got off the sugar that day, and have not had those craving since. Sugar is a drug, but you can overcome it. Be strong you can do this!0
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You just had that life changing turning point. There is only one way. Up. You did the first hard step. You have a world of support here and I'm sure from your family. You can do it.0
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Good for you for making a better choice! I'm sure your daughter appreciated it too! I think (for myself anyway) that a lot of binges are emotional so maybe you needed to get that out. It'll get easier each time.0
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"I'm trying to change my life and lose this weight that's been holding me down for so many years in so many areas of my life. I'm ashamed of the way i look, i hate being seen, i'm not confident, i think about my weight EVERY day and wish i could be skinny and healthy and here i am putting fuel to the fire making my situation even worse. This isn't the man i aspired to be. I wanted to be so much more than just a fat guy succumbing to his weakness of food in a kitchen."
Congratulations -- today you were the man you aspire to be. And that's really awesome. Tomorrow, remember that you were able to be that man just a day before, and make a decision to live the day as he would. One day at at time is how to do it -- sometimes one minute at a time through tears and sheer grit. I don't even know you but I am feeling awfully proud of you. There is no shame in struggling or crying or hurting -- obviously if it was easy you would have stopped doing it a long time ago. There is no weakness in the fact that you had to battle through it. Today you were strong and I hope you will allow yourself to feel proud of that.1 -
Kudos man! I applaud you. You have so much strength and will power. I go through the same thing especially with cake. Thank you for sharing your struggle and raw emotions. You are not mental, you are a warrior! Rock on!!! :drinker:0
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I woke up and my daughter's birthday cake was on the table while the family was away and i wanted to eat it so bad. I didn't even think about it, i decided I AM GOING to eat this. And it was crazy. At lightning speed when i decided i was going to stuff my mouth full of as much birthday cake as i could (probably not even leaving any for my own kid!) i ALSO decided since i was eating this, i was also going to go out and get burger king and sit down and watch a movie and i got so happy thinking about it. In my head i gotta feeling "this is a fun thing to do!". Then literally right when i was getting a spatula to scoop out a couple pieces of cake for myself my mood just did a 180 and i realized, like a scene out of a movie, i'm screwing up. I saw myself in this eerie 3rd person view: an overweight 29 year old guy choosing to eat junk food knowing he has a problem with his weight. And just that image of a fat guy eating his kid's birthday cake was the most disgusting image i could have ever hoped to be.
What the hell am i doing? What's wrong with me? I'm trying to change my life and lose this weight that's been holding me down for so many years in so many areas of my life. I'm ashamed of the way i look, i hate being seen, i'm not confident, i think about my weight EVERY day and wish i could be skinny and healthy and here i am putting fuel to the fire making my situation even worse. This isn't the man i aspired to be. I wanted to be so much more than just a fat guy succumbing to his weakness of food in a kitchen. I thought about all of this and it just hit me so hard i got emotional. Despite how emotional i was, i couldn't stop thinking "the decision is made. I decided to eat all this crap right now and i'm going to do it!". I was at this pathetic tug of war with the decision to do this or stop and it was...crazy. Like a drug addict detoxing fighting his urge to use again, i was in the kitchen crying because i wanted this food so bad and i knew even though it would do damage to me and my life, i wanted it anyway. SO bad.
I just stood there. For 20 minutes in the kitchen staring at the cake like a crazy person getting emotional over eating it. Ugh. I feel mental for even going through this. How weak am i mentally? I felt so pathetic even having this dialogue with myself. Getting emotional and telling myself "NO! You are overweight and it's screwing up your life! If you binge, it won't be just this once. It's a chain reaction of screwups and if you don't take a stand right freaking now, you may never be happy again!". So...i ate a lower portion controlled meal and now i'm about to drive to the park for a walk. I want to eat junk so bad. Not just a little, ALOT. But i can't continue screwing up my life like this. I'm done. Everything i want in my life would've disappeared with that binge and i want so much more for myself. I've wasted my 20's and i sure as hell am not going to waste my 30s. I've got alot of time to make up for
You're a food addict. That's the same way people feel who are addicted to cigarettes and trying to stop.
Number one, it's great that you recognize your emotional addiction to junk and that it has wrecked your life and you don't want to live like that anymore. You resisted and won this time.
I'm a Junk Food Queen. I can't have that kind of food in my house.
It's tough with birthday cake, but while you're trying to recover from your food addiction, it might be better to take your child out somewhere for the cake so it's not in the house.
Plan healthy meals, and always have 1-2 meals and snacks in the fridge that you can eat right away so you won't be tempted to eat fast food. Good snacks are apples and boiled eggs. Don't allow yourself to get hungry, because then you're more vulnerable. Also, drink a lot of water because it will curb your appetite. I bought a 32 oz bottle and keep it full of water and lemon slices (because that makes me drink it more) and try to drink 2 a day.
Good luck. You can do this. I'm a food addict, too, and after 3 months of better eating, it's getting easier.0 -
Whew!!! You just described me at times!!! No seriously... I was a HORRIBLE binge eater. I however didn't stand and wait 20 minutes...I ate the whole darn thing. I would have eaten the spatula if I could have! ((Yea, seriously))
You know what though? You walked away. You ate something else. You went for a walk. YOU are AMAZING. It is so hard. I've been there, and I'm recovering from it. I'm learning new things to help me make much better choices, and let me tell ya the ONE thing I just HAD to do... ((kid you not)) is GET RID OF ALL THE JUNK IN YOUR HOUSE! Now wait.... before you say you have children, or a child that loves junk and you don't want to deprive them...hear me out. lol. As for the birthday cake...sweetheart that doesn't count in this case...kids must have a birthday cake!!! lol
I went through and got rid of all the candy/chips/cookies/pop I could find. I know children love their cookies and stuff. BUT... I told my kids that from here on I needed to clear that stuff out of the house so I can be around to watch them grow up. It is so important that if you are a binge eater to take all the things that *tempt* you out of the house. ((How many people want to really get up and drive somewhere to eat?)) Well at least I never wanted to drive to eat...lol. (lazy I know... I was a lazy binge eater!) But seriously... have a talk with your wife and kids...and hey... it is for your health and YOU are so so important. I'd say also... that I have given my kids their own little treats while we are out at Walmart, or the grocery store. I would buy them a candy bar here and there, and I would buy them their own little snack pack of chips.... I just wouldn't buy a BIG pack to bring home so can binge eat on them later.
It really does work. It really is EXTREME also... however it has helped me and I have been binge free since I did that.
(*(*(* Hugs *)*)*) I have faith in you... and you CAN do it. Keep your chin up...and remember to take it ONE day at a time. I will pray for you tonight. I really wish the best for you. :flowerforyou:1 -
Wow, thanks for sharing!
Described me a few times.
You can do this! :flowerforyou:0 -
blaady hell ur only human don't beat urself up so much cake is cake! my skinny brother recently ate my 3 yr olds birthday cake whilst we slept peacefully and just thought he'd say errrm i'll get u another lol chill out mate u aren't the first person to put on weight and be obsessed by good food and ur not the last, this is the age we live in at least you know what you want to change and you can do it no matter how many set backs you have along the way chin up and carry on! xx
Although I do realise how upsetting it is when u feel that you cannot control yourself I have been there and i'm sure i'll be there again and I understand it's upsetting being somebody's birthday cake especially a kids I understand u feeling bad but like I said it's still just cake, it's ok, it's not the end of the world. You obviously feel guilty but try not to, just log it and carry on, best of luck to you, sincerely xx
i disagree... it's not "just cake" when one is addicted to food. It's a very big deal. And eating the cake would have lead to Burger king and so fourth. You can't compare your skinny brother to someone else who is addicted to food and is suffering emotionally by this.
^^^ Let me say you are correct and RIGHT on! Cake is not just cake... chips are not just chips....candy bars are not just candy bars to someone that is addicted to food, or has any type of binging problem. That is why I had to go to the extreme of getting rid of it all in my house. Will everyone need to do that that has an addiction to food or binges? Probably not...but I had to. Because I knew if I kept it in the house I would eat it. If others can keep it in the house and not binge on it, I think that is fantastic!!!! I only WISH I had that kind of self control.... Maybe one day.
And yes... the emotional train wreck was always at my door. I was the poster child for EMOTIONAL WRECK!!! lol. I can laugh about it now, but it most certainly was anything BUT funny while it was happening. I will also add that those walks I take in the park daily help me meditate and keep things in perspective. It helps... a LOT.0 -
I think the important thing is not only that you succeeded this time ( of course that *is* a major major breakthrough and believe me I am not belittling that!) But that you wrote it all out, you were so clear and honest. You have hopefully turned a corner here, with the added bonus of having inspired me and dozens more people
This will not be the only bad moment. Unfortunately. But hopefully, by replacing the bad habits with good habits, you will begin to heal.1 -
Oh my lord, I can relate. I once had to spray potato chips with windex so that I would stop eating them!
It's crazy.0 -
New Rule: No junk food in the house.
This will save you the agony of trying to resist junk food in the future. I've done some pretty extreme things in the name of not eating junk food. I walked a mile to the grocery store today to buy a package of pudding mix for a banana cream pie recipe. I sold my car to prevent me from skipping out on exercise and to make getting junk food just that much harder. There is a shopping center near my house that includes a Dairy Queen and a Baskin Robbin's.
Instead of going for the fast food junk, I made a healthier version of banana cream pie for dessert. I used greek yogurt instead of cream in the recipe. No whipped topping, either. It was still very yummy, but about half the calories it would have been if I followed the recipe exactly.
You don't have to suffer to be healthy, you just have to make some compromises sometimes.0 -
I'm giving you a standing ovation! Why? Not only because you walked away from the cake and not also because you walked through hell, but because the incredible awareness you looked in the face today! That is success!1
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Oh my lord, I can relate. I once had to spray potato chips with windex so that I would stop eating them!
It's crazy.
Now WHY in the WORLD didn't I ever think of that???? I LOVE IT!!!! Hahahaaa!!!0 -
I read all of the previous comments...not something I usually do, but your post was so real and raw...reading it was like reliving one of my own binge-fueled, out of control, moments and I wanted to see how others would respond to the scenario you described. All I can say is that it's obvious we're not alone. Many of us feel EXACTLY the way you felt. I know what that moment feels like. I know what that's like...and it SUCKS! You did an amazing thing today. Not too many of us can say that we felt the urge to binge and successfully walked away from a potential carb overload. You did it! Congrats!!!:flowerforyou:1
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Every time you resist, you grow stronger in your ability to say no to junk food in the future. It's just like exercise. You built yourself some major muscle today.1
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Hell yea. Box that shlt!!! beat it's azz. You saved yourself a ton of caloric waste.
And don't feel so bad. What you're dealing with is hormonal. If you haven't had your hormone panel checked I would suggest you do so.
But between grehlin and serotonin, hell it's a boxing match.
You'll have to strap on the gear again perhaps. Just look at it as a damn fight.
I suggest people eat other healthful stuff once you've turned the corner. Chicken, tuna, something to quiet the hormones down. ....if you can afford the room in the intake.
Anyways...hell yea!0
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