DID YOUR MOTHER MAKE YOU OVERWEIGHT?
Lalasharni
Posts: 353 Member
I was a child born of the post 1939-45 conflict.
During my childhood, there was rationing, and some foods were not available on the market. My mother fed me generally well, but my staple diet was bread and jam - toast and jam at breakfast, sandwiches for lunch, usually cheese,pr more jam and a meat and three veg dinner at night, followed by a pudding with custard sauce. My mother and father worked very hard, and of course, they were slim. As a child, I lived in an urban house with very little interaction with other children so I didnt play a lot, or run around, because our house fronted a busy road and I wasnt allowed out there. I grew up with a sweet tooth, because most of my food was sweet, and to this day, I still have that sweet tooth - one biscuit or one chocolate is not an option, because it leads to a binge, so I dont eat them any more, not to say that I dont crave them, I just know where they will lead.
My question is this - did your mom bring you up loving a particular food that may have led to your weight problems? Is obesity "taught" and not genetic. I think it may well be.
During my childhood, there was rationing, and some foods were not available on the market. My mother fed me generally well, but my staple diet was bread and jam - toast and jam at breakfast, sandwiches for lunch, usually cheese,pr more jam and a meat and three veg dinner at night, followed by a pudding with custard sauce. My mother and father worked very hard, and of course, they were slim. As a child, I lived in an urban house with very little interaction with other children so I didnt play a lot, or run around, because our house fronted a busy road and I wasnt allowed out there. I grew up with a sweet tooth, because most of my food was sweet, and to this day, I still have that sweet tooth - one biscuit or one chocolate is not an option, because it leads to a binge, so I dont eat them any more, not to say that I dont crave them, I just know where they will lead.
My question is this - did your mom bring you up loving a particular food that may have led to your weight problems? Is obesity "taught" and not genetic. I think it may well be.
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I definatly believe my upbringing contributed to my current obesity. Suppers were always meat and potatoes with very little emphasis on vegetables. I do not recall a salad ever being served in my home. Lunch and dinner were always followed by dessert. No surprise I have a huge sweet tooth and am a complete carbohydrate addict. As a child I was active enough to keep the weight at bay, but as soon a gym class stopped and walking gave way to driving , the pounds crept on.0
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Well, if you read some of the scientific literature about the heritability of body mass tendencies (eg http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/05/130530094950.htm ), there's certainly something in that.
Personally, though, my ma was a terrible cook and I was a skinny child. When I left home I discovered how delicious food could be. It was then that my troubles started!0 -
As a kid...yes. Now I have no one to blame but myself.0
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Nah. It was my own laziness.0
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I am too old to play the blame game, it isn't healthy to place something that only you can control on another person.0
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No. My mother fed me very healthy but also let me enjoy food. My mother always ate pretty healthy but was always overweight.
I am usually a big believer in calories in and out but she always perplexed me. She ate in such a way that she should have been thin and was not.0 -
I don't think it helped growing up learning that Happy Meals are an acceptable meal for lunch and dinner 3-4 days a week, and the rest of the time macaroni and cheese with bologna and hot dogs are great. Follow that up with some little Debbie's and all the soda your little belly can hold.
Now, it's on me. I have to retrain my body as to what is acceptable. My big wake up that we were not healthy is when my son (7 at the time) told me at McDonald's drive thru one day that he can eat a whole big Mac and fries by his self. We haven't cut out fast food completely, but it is few and far between now.0 -
I am too old to play the blame game, it isn't healthy to place something that only you can control on another person.
I so agree. and your dog is gorgeous.0 -
I was raised by a single dad, but I don't think that he taught me good or bad habits. I had to come to conclusions about food on my own. When we would go shopping he let me pick out food. I was naturally drawn to foods like pizza, poptarts, and cookies, but I also really loved fruits, veggies, and fish. I think that being allowed to pick out my own food early on and not being denied or forced to eat any particular food made the transition to make good decisions as an adult easier. When I moved out when I was 18, Dad and I would still go shopping together and out to eat and I still made really well balanced choices. The biggest bad influence was my beer drinking, red meat loving, big portion making 6 foot husband. I started to put on weight when I got with him (and this was when I moved from my home in Michigan to Chicago), and then when we got station in Hawaii, everything came with white rice and I REALLY packed on the pounds. I still ate well rounded meals, I just ate too much of them. I guess I didn't realize that at 5'2" I probably couldn't get away with the same size meals as my husband. So if anything, my dad kept me healthier! And he's coming with my grandma and aunt in a few months, so I really want to slim down before he gets here!0
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No.0
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No.
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I think my upbringing had a hand in making me over weight but I will not put all of the blame on my family. I ate the food, I sat on my *kitten* and did nothing, I gained the weight.
But the southern food I was raised on sure helped pack on the pounds.0 -
If this was the case, wouldn't all my siblings be fat too? I'm one of 4, and the only fat one in my family. And even if they inadvertently fostered an environment for me to be fat, I did become an adult and was free to choose my path. I hate when people blame their parents for everything gone wrong in their lives. Take responsibility, for christ sake.0
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My mother and grandmother taught me plenty of bad habits and very few good ones. Its not their fault I'm overweight today, but they definitely pointed me in the wrong direction. My mother came from a large, and very poor, family. All of their foods were cooked to maximize the calories, so healthy eating was never on the menu. Now, its my responsibility to teach my kids a healthier lifestyle.0
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No. The only person that made me fat, out of shape, and loathe myself for as long as I have was me....Allllllll me.0
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I'd say yes and I do believe parents are to blame for childhood obesity. My mom is naturally skinny but my dad not so much and I ended up taking after him unfortunately. A lot of the foods they cooked were deep fried or high in fat content.I don't remember seeing any fresh vegetables or fruit at the table, everything was either canned or non existent. Junk food was always available including sugary drinks on top of the fast food (because it was cheap then) made an appearance two-three times a week. As a kid you just eat what you are given and you don't really understand health and nutrition. Despite playing a lot of sports I was still overweight because the exercise wasn't enough to cancel out the amount I was consuming. I knew I was significantly bigger than all of the other kids however I didn't know how to go about changing it. At the time my parents were poorly educated about nutrition. They were young and uninformed. Luckily the habit was curbed years later after we moved and my mom became a nurse. Now it is rare to see any of that crap in our home and if I want that junk then I have to buy it myself. As an adult any weight gain that happens is my own fault.0
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Actually, my mother's cooking ran heavily to pasta and vegetables cooked to mush, meat cooked to shoe leather as even the slightest tinge of pink would "make me sick", and she fed me tuna fish sandwiches because they were easy--she hated to cook--to the point where I haven't been able to stand canned tuna to this day. According to her, the only possible way to serve fish was breaded and deep fried, so I grew up hating the reek of fried fish with a passion. She thought lobster, crab and frog legs were disgusting--who would want to eat creepy-crawlies??--and we would fight bitterly over my desire for rare beef. My mother had nothing to do with any of my food choices once I passed childhood. I learned to love cooking; she couldn't see the point. "It will all just be s**t by tomorrow!"
Ironically, I weighed around 120 in high school and college, and Mom was heavy all her life.0 -
No. My mother fed me very healthy but also let me enjoy food. My mother always ate pretty healthy but was always overweight.
I am usually a big believer in calories in and out but she always perplexed me. She ate in such a way that she should have been thin and was not.
I'm not saying your mom was, but many times when people eat very well and are heavy they are closet eaters....only eat unhealthy or too much when others aren't around.0 -
Not a specific food but some general habits, yes. For her, being hungry was dangerous and to be remedied at once. It took me a long time to realize that being a little hungry between meals was not dangerous! I couldn't recognize hunger! She was also always on a diet or another and wasn't a good model for a child or teenager at the time. Food was a reward and a consolation. Physical activities were mostly meant for boys.
We had soup, potatoes, meat and dessert all the time. She thought it was the way to be a good at-home mother. I was an obese child and she was partly responsible for that. But today, I am responsible for my health. Of course, environmental, societal and cultural issues, genetic traits and fat cells are contributing to the issue but I don't blame anybody and anything for what I am because I CAN CHANGE IF I WANT TO. My life is in my hands to do as I wish. I can sit on the couch and eat chips or I can move and eat healthy and enjoy life. MY CHOICE. It is fantastic to think that I have the power to model my body and my life as I wish. WE CAN DO IT!0 -
Thanks for all your thoughts. Please let me be clear that I don't BLAME anyone for my obesity but myself but as a child you eat what you're given and i was never allowed to leave food on my plate. As I've grown up. i took control of ny eating and based it on what I'd learned but it has taken 64 years to admit what I learned was wrong. I just believe that nutritional education at an early age is the way forward to freeing our kids from the so-called "obesity epidemic". It came late in life for me but our parents lay the ground rules as in everything we learn as a child.0
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Ahhh the blame game. As much as Parents are an influence when you get to a certain age you can make your own choices and educate yourself. Why look for someone to blame? It's happened your working on it no point dragging personal issues through the mud.0
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Looking at pictures, the last time I was not overweight was probably around age 5-6. And I didn't get a game console until I was 12! I played out ALL the time. So I suppose it must have been a combination of my great appetite and the food available, although we never had a lot of fried food, sugary drinks or takeaway. Just slightly too much food everyday I guess. Still my problem now.
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I am too old to play the blame game, it isn't healthy to place something that only you can control on another person.
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My mother did the best she could. All parents make mistakes, but I'm a grown woman and I don't blame my mother for the decisions I made as an adult.0 -
I am too old to play the blame game, it isn't healthy to place something that only you can control on another person.
+1
My mother did the best she could. All parents make mistakes, but I'm a grown woman and I don't blame my mother for the decisions I made as an adult.
I agree - my parents tried the best they could with limited means, and the easiest way to get us to eat vegetables was with pasta, but it was also the quickest. But it's me that has to make the decision not to eat as much pasta. Which is tough.0 -
It was all of my family really. My father passed when I was 6wks old so my mom was always trying to 'make it up to me' by spoiling me-food, toys, whatever. She worked a lot so when the sitter was there it just a make sure she doesn't die capacity. I usually ate breakfast, lunch, after school 'snack' (which was soup and sandwich) and dinner and often before bed was cereal or ice cream. Weekends at the aunt and uncle was country style-a table full of food to choose from, all greasy (and delicious).
The view was I'd out grow my weight, the rest did, but what they didn't consider was my activity level. I didn't grow up and run track or grow all the veggies we ate and constantly work in the garden. I was the tv watching, video game playing lazy girl. Yes they allowed me to become this way BUT I continued the cycle after I knew better. I knew how to change it but didn't make the effort.0 -
Part of my relationship with food is down to my Mother. Not because of the way she cooked or the food that she fed us but because she was abusive and one of the ways she would punish us was to starve us or force to eat gone off food.
Luckily we ended in care by the time I was 11 but even now i find it hard to keep treats in the house without eating them all in one go. I have learnt that this is one of my'problems' and only buy small portions of what i like so I don't eat it.
Though even to this day there are food that both me and my sisters cannot stand and even the smell will make us gag.0 -
QUOTE FROM LAST POST:
"The view was I'd out grow my weight, the rest did, but what they didn't consider was my activity level. I didn't grow up and run track or grow all the veggies we ate and constantly work in the garden. I was the tv watching, video game playing lazy girl. Yes they allowed me to become this way BUT I continued the cycle after I knew better. I knew how to change it but didn't make the effort."
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I can relate to the first sentence here. It was always "puppy fat" and "you'll lose it as you grow taller". I believed it dammit when I was a child, why wouldn't I? Children don't know anything about nutrition - just what tastes good. I wish I'd known then what I know now, but in my childish brain, would it have made a difference? There were other things to think about like playing and school. The first time I ever ran around was in the schoolyard, and I remember feeling pooped then - now I run around (or rather power-walk) without thinking twice about it and love it.
As to your last sentence, yes - we have to make the effort even when we know. That's why we're here and why we are succeeding!
Thanks for that - I am learning more about myself every day thanks to my MFP pals.0 -
a little...but I blame myself and my nanny more..0
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My mother is always trying to force feed me, adding more food on my plate when i eat with her.. it's pretty scary and i do love her but she's never really helped my diet. She's always insisted on fruit and veg but at the same time piling my plate as a kid, adding in the extra bits when she cooks for me isn't "nice" it's a weight..
I love the woman to death but she's so heavy handed with the old salt too!! Ever since I started feeding myself I dropped two stone like no mans business.. pretty odd how love turns into obesity!?0
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