spouse/significant other changes attitude with weight loss?

i think its true. I've been married 9 years. OUr kids are older now (age 5 and 7), I'm in my 30s and its time to focus a little bit on me. Husband notices and I think is more loving because of it. He's supportive. He's not RUDE when I've been heavier, but he is more affectionate when he knows I'm working on ME for my health, for our family and for him

My wife was never rude about my weight to begin with, but she has definitely made positive and supportive comments about me losing weight, being healthier, and being in better shape overall. And I generally feel better about my body and more willing to wear better clothes, etc.

This is actually my second time losing the weight, as after my first time getting to goal I immediately became pregnant again! That being said I think it had a tremendous effect on our physical relationship as well as emotion in some ways. I don't think it had anything to do with simply my physical appearance to him but more how I felt about myself more confident and more willing to show a little more skin. Now working on it the second time around he isn't anxious for me to fit into my pre pregnancy clothes or look the same he's just begging for the confidence to come back.

Being happy with one's self is extremely important in being seen as attractive, at least from what I've experienced it makes a whole lot more difference than 10-20 lbs to someone that cares about you.

Same here, just got done my second pregnancy in a row. And with an active healthy body comes an active healthy mind comes confidence, fun, etc... works both ways too! My husband definitely got some pregnancy weight on and he's working on it too. Its been fun.

My partner doesn't seem to really care that I'm doing this- he hasn't in the past and I don't expect him to now. I sometimes have a hard time not asking him why he won't eat the same foods or exercise with me, but he brushes off any guilt I might lay on him by saying that his metabolism is so high he can afford to eat a whole 10 inch pizza for dinner.

While it's true that weight wise he doesnt have a problem (he's 5'8" and 135lbs) it bothers me that he's always pale and doesn't exercise or eat veggies.

Either way, he's not super supportive, but he doesn't shove unhealthy food in my face. If I decide to spend 160 of my calories on processed tater-tots, its my own doing, not his!

Sadly my boyfriend is not supportive at all. I love him to death but he never says anything encouraging - and has recently starting making random hurtful comments. The latest and greatest was last night - when I was getting changed to do my exercise he says "Your butt has changed, it isn't as nice anymore, it's getting too small" I brushed this off and went about my business. Then, he proceeds to actually point out the girls in my Turbo Fire DVD that have good butts. "See! This is a nice butt" That is honestly what he said. WHILE I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF MY EXERCISE.

It really upsets me that he is not only not supporting me but is now trying to discourage me or make me feel bad for trying to be healthier and get into shape.

I took pics yesterday for my "Before and After" 30 Day Shred and he says to me "Well, there is alittle difference - nothing drastic"
WTF??? This was a HUGE accomplishment for me - that included 6.6 more lbs lost and 11 inches!!

Ok - sorry - RANT over

Can you tell I am alittle upset :-( lol

Everyone that has a supportive other half - please dont take them for granted!!

Husband and I have known each other for 14 years. Over that time I lost the puppy fat and but after we got married 3 years ago we both of us put a bit on that I have since lost. He lost some for a year and then regained it.

He can be pretty sensitive about it and I see he is is self conscious. He has put on some muscle as well thanks to heavy lifting, but still eats too much rubbish and has substantial weight gain around his waist.

He seems appreciative that I keep myself in shape and will sometimes express an interest in following my diet and work out routine as well but doesn't adhere to it for more than a week or two which I found really frustrating for a while.

The most annoying moment being at a bbq he told everyone I had him doing Atkins while he ate bread rolls!

We will agree to not having various things in the house but he generally brings them in within a couple of days.

It can be frustrating for me because I don't want junk food in the house, but I don't want to push him into hiding food or secretive eating.

Although I know that he does do that too.

Overall it is a constantly learning process - how best to broach the subject of diet with him, nice ways of telling him I don't want to be tempted by certain foods in the house so would appreciate him not buying them and walking a very fine line of me not wanting to sound like a bore or a nag.

As someone has said above of their partner, the self confidence is what I miss and care about more than the clothes that don't fit anymore or the double chin.

He is happier and more confident when he is slimmer.

My husband is lovely, and he insists that he never even noticed that I gained so much weight. Since we started our relationship I gained 20 kg and lost 15kg since I realised I had gained 20kg and that it was not right.
However he is always very supportive and my motivation was always to be healthier, so he never had any problems with me wanting to be a healthier fitter person. We both enjoy hiking and climbing together, he gained a bit of wight but since I started to be healthier he has been healthier as well. He is the sort of person who like to feel healthy, so we never had any real problems. He complained a bit when I had a crazy couple of months that I was going to dance classes every night, but only by asking how I felt about cutting back a bit, to something like 1 or 2 a week on night time exercise and maybe getting more into my power walking habit while he was still at work so we could spend more time together.
He still claims he can't see much of a difference, but since we see each other everyday it's hard to take notice unless we look at pictures, but he also he says my bum looks hotter. He just asked me not to become crazy with it since he likes to have something to grab, and since I am quite tall and big boned I agree with him that a moderate layer of meat to cover my bones is desirable. Only 5kg to reach my goal

Not really. My husband has not really been responding differently. But he's always treated me like I was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. He's a sweetheart.

I think that we all deserve to be supported

Sadly my boyfriend is not supportive at all. I love him to death but he never says anything encouraging - and has recently starting making random hurtful comments. The latest and greatest was last night - when I was getting changed to do my exercise he says "Your butt has changed, it isn't as nice anymore, it's getting too small" I brushed this off and went about my business. Then, he proceeds to actually point out the girls in my Turbo Fire DVD that have good butts. "See! This is a nice butt" That is honestly what he said. WHILE I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF MY EXERCISE.

It really upsets me that he is not only not supporting me but is now trying to discourage me or make me feel bad for trying to be healthier and get into shape.

I took pics yesterday for my "Before and After" 30 Day Shred and he says to me "Well, there is alittle difference - nothing drastic"
WTF??? This was a HUGE accomplishment for me - that included 6.6 more lbs lost and 11 inches!!

Ok - sorry - RANT over

Can you tell I am alittle upset :-( lol

Everyone that has a supportive other half - please dont take them for granted!!

It's possible that he prefers women on the chunkier side. Some guys do. I was with one of those once, lost some weight, and got criticized for it. Some women like a paunch on a man. Becoming thinner isn't to everyone's taste. I did what I felt was best for me, anyway, and we broke up. Having someone else's support is nice, but there are some things that I'm doing for myself, and I will ignore dissenting opinions.

My husband and I are both overweight. He has been INCREDIBLY supportive of me - making it easier for me to take the time away from him and the kids to go to the gym, go to taekwondo, go out running, etc. He has also been much more interested in being intimate lately, but I think it may be more of an attitude thing with me more than anything. I have more energy and more desire myself, so he's picking up on that.

I really wish that he would join me in my healthier lifestyle, but I know from my own prior experience that if you are not mentally ready and motivated on your own that it just won't work. So I keep encouraging him to join me, and don't criticize when he doesn't. He has been supportive of the fact that I have started cooking healthier foods, subbing ground turkey for beef, etc. But I also allow him to eat the foods that he wants and loves and will make something healthier for myself at times. I hope that eventually he will get on the wagon with me, but in the mean time, as long as he continues to be so supportive and wonderful of the change I am making in myself, I will allow him to live in the way that he chooses.

Anyway, things haven't changed so much, but my attitude has, and it has made a difference!

When I was at my heaviest, my spouse was not interested in sex with me. I did not tell him when I started trying to lose weight and he did not notice until I had lost 10 lbs. He then forgot about it, until I had lost another 10 lbs (this took about 4 months). As I have continued to lose weight his interest in me has picked up, but he has no interest in supporting my weight loss efforts with watching the kids so I can go to the gym or not bringing tempting high calorie foods into the house or avoiding fast foods. I specifically asked for a gym membership for Christmas last year and he said okay, but 6 months later I have never received it. I have now lost 48 lbs and just want to reduce BF.

Last month he decides, he wants to lose weight. He is a good 75 lbs over weight. He goes on the HCG diet, drops 24 lbs, and now tells me this morning he wants to have sex this weekend. He hasn't romantically touched me 18 months and I am supposed to be overjoyed that he is showing interest in me again? Don't think so...:grumble: