How does anyone actually commit to this?

akal0423
akal0423 Posts: 9 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm having a rough time staying committed to my diet and I lack motivation completely when it comes to exercising. My boyfriend is amazing but he can be a butthead sometimes and told me last night we should just throw away the clothes I wore at my lowest weight because it's not like I'm going to fit into them again anyways. He was mostly joking because he's trying to make light of the massive spring cleaning we're doing in our apartment but it still it my feelings. It was quite a reality check. Idk how to really force myself into making this commitment. I do well all day and end up binging like mad at night. Help?
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Replies

  • TAMayorga
    TAMayorga Posts: 341 Member
    Well, your diary isn't public, so we can't see if you're not eating enough of the right things to help keep you full. But when it comes to motivation, you have to find your "why". Why are you doing this? What do you hope to get out of it? MFP does not market itself as a "diet". It is a lifestyle change where you eat the right number of Calories and do the right exercises for YOU to get to where YOU want to be in life.

    Good luck! And keep after it! 25 lbs down is nothing to sneeze at. Don't give up now, or in a few months you'll be back where you started and kicking yourself because you have to begin all over again.
  • muaylex
    muaylex Posts: 32 Member
    My fiancé said the same thing!!! But don't give up!! I love love love to eat but I want to feel good about myself, feel healthy, be able to wear my 10 years old jeans, and look my best on my wedding day which coming up in three weeks...you can look at my fluctuate weight on my diary...I know it is very hard to commit but once you set your mind to it, nothing can stop you!!! Feel free to add me as a friend for support and motivation!!!
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
    Honestly nobody can help you. If you don't want this bad enough yet all the encouragement and motivation in the world won't make you do it. Sorry you have to do this all by yourself and when you are truly ready the commitment and motivation will come.
    Good luck.
  • themanda04
    themanda04 Posts: 60 Member
    i honestly don't know. what i do know is that the times i've made major, substantial changes to my life i didn't have to 'try'. i channeled my inner yoda, and i just did it. i quit smoking, cold turkey, over fifteen years ago because i had an epiphany moment and just became a non-smoker. it wasn't a struggle for me coming off a nearly two pack a day habit of ten+ years, because in my mind i wasn't a smoker any longer. marriage ended and i walked away pretty easily (the constant contact of sharing a child has made things...interesting...but i didn't grieve the end of the marriage). when i decided i was sick and tired of being fat, i started to make changes to make me not-fat. i didn't have to force myself to do anything, i just accepted and welcomed my change of status and started to learn how to live this new lifestyle.

    i'm not saying you're wrong or in the wrong mindset, i'm just stating how i've approached things. maybe you're just not ready to lose yet?
  • BalmyD
    BalmyD Posts: 237 Member
    I didn't really start out by committing to the whole thing. I started out committing to tiny positive changes. The only thing I committed to at first was to log everything I ate, not actually reduce it. Just doing that is a learning experience that for me lead to more commitments... drink more water, walk every day, eat at or near my calorie goal, and it has slowly built into a lifestyle change.
  • bugtaylor
    bugtaylor Posts: 77 Member
    keep the faith don't give up
  • Isakizza
    Isakizza Posts: 754 Member
    Honestly, if you want it bad enough you'll just do the work.

    I had to reach that point, and had to stop allowing myself to make excuses. It was a daily battle, in my mind. BUT it has gotten easier and easier to just follow my plan now. And I LOVE to stay active, my workouts are so important to me now.

    It takes practice but you can totally do it.
    Good luck.


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  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
    It takes heart. You have to have it in order to want it to be a better you.
  • jakesfitness
    jakesfitness Posts: 123 Member
    it does take heart and it requires you to really examine yourself and your motivations and priorities... a challenge group really helps too because they will keep you accountable... if you are looking for a group let me know ill get you plugged into one.
  • RyanJK85
    RyanJK85 Posts: 580 Member
    Just make the choice and stick to it....try to make it "fun". Just dont give up!
  • pjp1125
    pjp1125 Posts: 313
    Honestly nobody can help you. If you don't want this bad enough yet all the encouragement and motivation in the world won't make you do it. Sorry you have to do this all by yourself and when you are truly ready the commitment and motivation will come.
    Good luck.

    This. Good luck.
  • taylorckt1
    taylorckt1 Posts: 263 Member
    Honestly nobody can help you. If you don't want this bad enough yet all the encouragement and motivation in the world won't make you do it. Sorry you have to do this all by yourself and when you are truly ready the commitment and motivation will come.
    Good luck.

    Agreed!
  • Rays_Wife
    Rays_Wife Posts: 1,173 Member
    What are the things you are binging on at night? Maybe you could plan your day and plan "treats" into your calorie allowance so you won't want to binge on them at night. Maybe you are feeling deprived, so that is a way to have your cake and eat it too, so to speak. I realize not everyone can do this but it works for me. Just an idea. Good luck.
  • judykat7
    judykat7 Posts: 576 Member
    Honestly nobody can help you. If you don't want this bad enough yet all the encouragement and motivation in the world won't make you do it. Sorry you have to do this all by yourself and when you are truly ready the commitment and motivation will come.
    Good luck.

    THIS. Until your personal switch flips and you are ready to get into those clothes for you, it won't happen and stay that way. Not to say everyone doesn't have a bad day but when you are ready, you will fight through the bad days and they will pass and get fewer and farther between.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    If you want something, you'll make a commitment and Just. Do. It.

    It really is that simple. How hard it is depends on you overcoming your excuses and realizing that it doesn't matter if your boyfriend, friends, etc are there with pom poms and gold stars. You have to do this for you because YOU want this.
  • wareagle8706
    wareagle8706 Posts: 1,090 Member
    If you aren't ready for a change then you won't stay committed. It's that simple. When you hit your "brick wall" of not being able to take the way you are anymore, then you'll stay committed.

    Wish you the best.
  • Rockstar_JILL
    Rockstar_JILL Posts: 514 Member
    You have to want it bad enough. Once you get into a routine, you will just keep doing it. It won't be so hard once you get going. It is all in your head. You just gotta be strong enough.
  • moondust7
    moondust7 Posts: 109 Member
    One of my friends on here posted how it's *commitment*, not motivation, that really matters and is what we need to focus on. And that is so true. I almost never have the motivation to work out (LOL) but I make myself do it b/c I've committed to trying to be healthy. And as some others on here said, sometimes small changes are easier to start off with. Good luck - you can do it.
  • 519harley
    519harley Posts: 241 Member
    Just make the choice and stick to it....try to make it "fun". Just dont give up!
    ^^^
    Well said! :flowerforyou:
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    Only commit to make the tiniest of effort. Instead of trying to eat the whole elephant in one bite, break things down into manageable portions. First try changing what you eat for only one meal a day. Make that meal the healthiest you possibly can. When I was working an office job, the easiest meal for me to make uber-healthy was lunch. I'd pack a salad or stir fry for lunch and cram as many veggies into my lunch box as humanly possible.

    The real key to long term success is keeping it manageable. Don't go the the gym and expect to bench press a Mack Truck and not feel like it is too much to take on. If you never exercise, commit to a 10 minute walk every day. Everyone, no matter how busy can usually find 10 minutes to take a walk.

    Just make very small changes. Keep piling the very small changes one on top of the other. It all adds up eventually.
  • RunningForeverMama
    RunningForeverMama Posts: 261 Member
    Honestly nobody can help you. If you don't want this bad enough yet all the encouragement and motivation in the world won't make you do it. Sorry you have to do this all by yourself and when you are truly ready the commitment and motivation will come.
    Good luck.

    Agree. I just decided what choice to I have? I'm either going to do it or I'm not and if not now, when?
  • droppinlbslikeangels
    droppinlbslikeangels Posts: 86
    The first time I lost 50 lbs, I did it because my entire household was doing it as well.

    I'm able to do it now (so far) because I know that it's my only choice at a happy life.

    I started with little self control exercises. Like for instance, I went 3 weeks without diet soda in the beginning of the year just to see if I could. And you know what? It was easy!!!
    Just tell yourself you have no choice. Make a video telling yourself to not skip your workout or overeat. Find what works for you!
  • ksuetorres
    ksuetorres Posts: 139 Member
    When you're truly ready to change your lifestyle and your relationship with food and your body, the motivation will appear. It comes from the inside, not the outside. That said, you seem to be moving in the right direction. When I joined MFP, it became a game to me to get the maximum volume of food for the minimum number of calories that fit the eating plan. The site is a real help with that! I found all kinds of substitutions and workarounds, and was never HONGRY. I was able to eat several small meals and stay satisfied. You can probably do something like that too. In the meantime, I'd hang onto those smaller clothes -- you may be needing them sooner than you think! Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Here's the thing. You're going to commit to something. If you delete your MFP account, stop worrying about what you eat, stop exercising, and throw away your skinny clothes that's committing. Committing to staying fat. We often delude ourselves and say that we didn't make a choice but choosing to do nothing (or to do the wrong thing) is a choice just like counting calories and running 20 miles a week is a choice.

    Make a conscience decision about what you want to commit to.
  • wareagle8706
    wareagle8706 Posts: 1,090 Member
    Here's the thing. You're going to commit to something. If you delete your MFP account, stop worrying about what you eat, stop exercising, and throw away your skinny clothes that's committing. Committing to staying fat. We often delude ourselves and say that we didn't make a choice but choosing to do nothing (or to do the wrong thing) is a choice just like counting calories and running 20 miles a week is a choice.

    Make a conscience decision about what you want to commit to.

    I'm going to go ahead and say that I don't think Dav is saying you need to run 20 miles a week to lose weight. So no one go all nuclear about that statement, please.
  • Binkie1955
    Binkie1955 Posts: 329 Member
    sounds to me like you and the boyfriend need a checkup on supporting each other in each others' intentions. you're probably reacting to his sarcasm. Try ' Love and Respect' book or DVD and fix this relationship. he should be supporting you! for guys, joking and sarcasm is part of the male bonding ritual crap that we males are heir to but it's not appropriate for women. they don't 'get' it and shouldn't have to so bring him around to that (and yourself) and you'll be ok. this relationship is more important to you than perhaps you realize. Where's the ring?
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Female-lifting-600x392.jpg

    I keep things like this as my background image. I boot up my computer and see these pictures. When I don't want to get off mfp and sweat I minimize and look at ladies like this and ask myself "Is that really what I want?"

    The answer is always yes, so I always get my *kitten* up.



    Your mileage may vary.
  • schmern2
    schmern2 Posts: 5
    This happened to me a year ago and I have been solidly dedicated to my plan. It gets easier because the exercise gets easier (even as it gets more rigorous), The stomach shrinks. The cravings go away. As you start to have success, you start to crave the success and feel great and want to feel even better. Success breeds success so just go into this with blind faith and keep at, make healthy choices and know you will have a bad day here and there but eventually when you get into your groove I wish I would have known all these years that this happens. I don't know if this what people who are addicted to substances call "hitting bottom" but I guess I hit it and the pieces fell into place. I keep thinking how a gallon of milk is 8lbs. So when I go hiking or biking or just grocery shopping I am carrying those gallons in my person. No wonder I wasn't motivated to move. I have dropped 7 gallons of milk and still have 9 more to go but I already feel amazing every day. Thinking of how heavy that is motivates me to keep going. Here is to one more year!
  • Sactown900
    Sactown900 Posts: 162 Member
    You HAVE TO WANT this more than gaining it back. I talked myself into more dessert or a 2nd beer for years, "Yea! I AM a big guy. I lift heavy. I can have a 2nd steak." RIGHT.

    I want to loose 40 lbs before my 60th next January, so I finally made getting lean more important than free cake and ice cream at the office potluck.

    I want this last 15 lbs off more than gaining it all back.

    It's all up to you now.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    My boyfriend is amazing but he can be a butthead sometimes and told me last night we should just throw away the clothes I wore at my lowest weight because it's not like I'm going to fit into them again anyways.
    I've found that people betting against me is very motivating. I know people who've been waiting for me to gain weight back for months. I've been on maintenance well over a year now. They lose.

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