spouse/significant other changes attitude with weight loss?

My wife lost weight with me two+ years ago- we both lost 45+ pounds each, but we have both gained it back since then. We've tried multiple times to get 'back on the wagon' together over the two years.. she's never been able to, and I had sone good attempts and was criticized over the 'time away from her'.. I FINALLY got back into the swing of things in February- I've logged around 140 days straight, I'm down 45 pounds, and multiple inches from all over my body. She is not supportive, she is discouraging, attempts to guilt me into staying home from the gym or a run, criticizes the few vitamins and supplements I take, and overall just isn't really okay with me being happier and losing weight. I hope YOUR experiences are more positive than this.

I am so sorry!! That is terrible! My husband is supportive in ways. He tells me that I look great which boosts my self esteem, but I would love for him to work out with me, because he also has a few lbs to lose, but he never does. His diet is also terrible. Every night, before bed, we watch a little tv together and he eats ice cream, chips, rice cakes, whatever is available. Thankfully, my willpower is strong so I don't slip, but still it bothers me to an extent. Ive lost almost 40 lbs and feel great, but I just wish he was mentally there. He doesn't ever complain about me working out, thankfully!!, but I can relate in some ways. Hang in there! Props to you for getting healthier!!

I feel so bad for everyone with unsupportive SOs. I understand some guys just like curves better but there is no reason to be mean or do things like compare you to someone else! Eek.

With my husband, it has been -slightly- rocky, though it's not his fault.

When he met me, I was quite slim and he LOVED it. I had never been on birth control before and I got on the depo shot shortly after we met. Unfortunately, I was among that percentage that responds with weight gain and I gained 30 lbs. It was awful; I ate to the point of stomach pain but I still felt hungry! I just had these incredible cravings. My husband admitted that he found me less attractive but he still loved me and absolutely wanted to be with me. I was so sad that I had lost attractiveness in his eyes; I struggle with depression and anxiety which tends to manifest itself in punishment-avoidant, rather than pleasure-seeking behaviors and I felt like the joy of being able to lose the weight had been robbed from me knowing that I would not be doing it for myself but to avoid feeling like I was not attractive. It took me a long time to overcome these feelings.

However, things have gotten a lot better. It's taken me a while to understand that regardless of the fact that I am slightly less attractive at my weight, my husband still would pick me over anyone else. With that in mind I was able to go for the weight loss - for myself! For my happiness and my health. I am just starting out and I told him about it. He is so supportive (but not TOO supportive in a way that would make me feel like he's jumping up & down waiting for me to lose weight) and has been helping out by measuring everything when he cooks so I can easily enter it into the tracker.

Here's to hoping it all works out

mine says I look fine now. I fit a uk size 10 jeans/us 6 and look alot better. But he buys pizza, apple pies, custard, doughnuts and sweets/chocolates and things I used to love. Then I get annoyed because he doesnt think that the temptation could be too much for me. When I workout he says I dont need to or Im wasting my time

My fiance loved me and treated me wonderfully when I was fatter. Now that I'm more in shape, he tells me that the biggest difference is that I am so much more confident and happy, and that that's what matters to him. He is nowhere near as driven as I am in terms of athleticism but has taken up working out and eating healthier (most of the time) as well. Part of the reason why I stay healthy is to try to live a longer life, and seeing him do the same makes me feel more loved.

Sadly my boyfriend is not supportive at all. I love him to death but he never says anything encouraging - and has recently starting making random hurtful comments. The latest and greatest was last night - when I was getting changed to do my exercise he says "Your butt has changed, it isn't as nice anymore, it's getting too small" I brushed this off and went about my business. Then, he proceeds to actually point out the girls in my Turbo Fire DVD that have good butts. "See! This is a nice butt" That is honestly what he said. WHILE I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF MY EXERCISE.

It really upsets me that he is not only not supporting me but is now trying to discourage me or make me feel bad for trying to be healthier and get into shape.

I took pics yesterday for my "Before and After" 30 Day Shred and he says to me "Well, there is alittle difference - nothing drastic"
WTF??? This was a HUGE accomplishment for me - that included 6.6 more lbs lost and 11 inches!!

Ok - sorry - RANT over

Can you tell I am alittle upset :-( lol

Everyone that has a supportive other half - please dont take them for granted!!

I kind of know your feeling there... When I lost a stone my other half said I didn't really show I am like "wtf?"
But keep going for yourself. Forget what he is like we will keep you motivated you have done so well

I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 1/2 years and I find a drastic improvement when we workout and get in shape together. Both him and I were working out at different points in our relationship when the other wasn't and it put a bit of a strain on us in terms of how we look at each other. I would sometimes think he was getting lazy and vice versa. Now we're on the same page and really motivate each other.

Im 4 and half years with my partner - he met me at my heaviest and lost over the years while he gained. Was sooooo hard as start of us going out i didn't want to eat out fear of being bad and then as I lost a lot he started gaining and quite a bit. We now only training together and starting to appreciate what the other one going through and he looks amazing. Last night at a family do just stared him out as he looked fantastic and my family commenting how well he doing as we all battle with easy weight gain.

I love that we are finally getting into a grove - we don't live together so when we finally do we already have our routines - we must be one of few couples who don't have need for eating in evenings in front of the TV.

And we openly talk about how our kids may be battling food like we have had to and we doing this for any future ones that come along.

My husband is also very supportive to me with my weight loss he has noticed the difference in my body and likes what he sees. I cant wit to get to my goal weight to see how good i will look then i have some outfits i want to wear

Also, I don't have kids, so probably don't know what I'm on about - but to all the gym-going ladies who mention that their husband 'helps you out' by watching their kids so you can exercise... surely that should be flipping standard! They're his flipping kids too, it's hardly some great concession that he mind them now and again!

No change in husband's attitude at all. Loved me then, loves me now, no difference. If I make a point of telling him I've lost x more pounds he gives me a thumb's-up.

"I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the unsupportive husband/boyfriend thing...

To me it seems when a woman works out and gets healthy, its a total win for her man. He gets a hotter girl, with more energy, more sex drive, who feels more confident about her body and that leads to better sex. That confidence spills over to all parts of her life, personal and professional. Seems like a total win..lady upgrade!."

This is exactly the problem though - an insecure spouse sees their formerly un-confident, unhappy partner becoming happier, more confident and sexier to boot, and they start wondering if this newfound attractiveness will make their partner more attractive to other people too - essentially, if their partner is going to outgrow them as they grow themselves. It's not big and it's not clever, but I think we can all relate to that not-very-worthy feeling - "why would they choose me when they've got so much going for them? How can our relationship stay the same when they're changing so much?" - and some not-so-nice people will respond to this fear and uncertainty by lashing out.

Also, not to be hypersensitive or anything, but 'lady upgrade'? She's not a smartphone! :P