spouse/significant other changes attitude with weight loss?

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  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    My husband has turned into a pervert. He stares at me, cant keep his hands to himself, and makes "commens" to me... thats how my husband has changed...
  • Jason3589
    Jason3589 Posts: 734
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    I’ve been working out now for just over a year, ever since a new gym opened up in our town offering membership for £12.99 a month. So l joined and have been working out for 3 days a week during that time. I have noticed clothes fitting better and bugles in places l want them.

    Yes l am quite proud of that particularly when l am in my forties, okay l’m no Hugh Jackman but l’m working towards it lol.

    The strange thing is my wife whilst she is supportive is also jealous of me, for doing all this.

    She has slowly put weight on over the years. I have offered to help her work out but she just puts up barriers. She doesn’t like people to watch her, or she never has time. I worry about her health but feel as though l am treading on eggshells when l approach the subject.

    Sometimes l feel like giving up the gym to appease her but then l need to keep a high level of fitness for my job. Don’t get me wrong l love her to bits but she makes me feel guilty for getting fitter.

    Feel free to offer me any advice either on here or PM
  • Mgregory723
    Mgregory723 Posts: 529 Member
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    My husband has turned into a pervert. He stares at me, cant keep his hands to himself, and makes "commens" to me... thats how my husband has changed...



    ^^ My husband does this now. Are you telling me it's going to get worse? :laugh:
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    My husband has turned into a pervert. He stares at me, cant keep his hands to himself, and makes "commens" to me... thats how my husband has changed...



    ^^ My husband does this now. Are you telling me it's going to get worse? :laugh:

    yes, it has gotten worse! my husband always told me how good i looked, even though i knew i didnt. he always told me how much he loved me, no matter what... but now, its like im married to some 18 year old pervert!

    and... we have 5 kids, and they even catch him staring at me... ill be in the kitchen, and ill hear one of my daughters... "dad, stop staring at moms butt, you wierdo!!!" sometimes i feel like im being stalked!
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    When my boyfriend met me I had started down the road to getting healthier already. I was down to 200 lbs (from 235) and was going to the gym regularly. He's a slender guy (though he has started gaining a little recently) who never had the best eating habits and slowly but surely I started adopting them.. Late night cookie binges on the couch, huge donairs for dinner, massive pans of nachos and all that stuff. He has a speedy metabolism so it never affected him at all but boy oh boy did I pack it on..

    I never got the bad comments though. He has always been a romantic, tells me he loves me every day - even at my worst. When I first started back on MFP, weighing my food, recording everything and all the things that it entails (this takes a LOT of time when you first start) he wasn't too happy. He'd tell me to try and find faster ways to do it but he never tried to sabotage me or anything like that. As the weight started coming off and he say that it wasn't just a 'fad' he has started being more supportive of the extra work involved. He even weighs food for me if he makes me something!

    These days he acts like he's won the lottery and I still have at least 30 lbs to go to my goal weight. He was always very affectionate but he's in overdrive now! He's always commenting on this new 'curve' or that new feature..When the definition in my spine came back he was overjoyed LOL. I am always very careful to keep giving him all the love and attention that I have always shown so that he won't feel jealous or think that I'm going to be out looking for someone else. I love him to death and couldn't imagine life without him so he has absolutely nothing to worry about.

    We are quite active together doing things like walking and hikes and he's very happy that I can keep up with him more than I used to be able to when I was heavier. He's even commented that soon he will have to run to keep up with me! He still has his bad habits but thankfully I have more willpower these days ;)
  • roughneckswife
    roughneckswife Posts: 341 Member
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    My husband and I will be married 10 years next week, I've gained 100 pounds in our marriage(lost 50 so far). He has never treated me any different, I can't stand the way I look so that makes it rough sometimes. He thinks I should see myself the way he sees me...that's not easy! I want to look like I did when we started dating in highschool!

    He always tells me he's proud of me for whatever reason and is supportive! He doesn't eat healthy at all LOL, He works in the oilfield and is super fit and has no weight to lose. I cook healthy for us, and when we go out to eat we pick a place that will satisfy us both!

    BUT...He does get super jealous LOL. When I leave for bootcamp or the gym he asks do you have make up on?
  • xinit0
    xinit0 Posts: 310 Member
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    I signed up for MFP, bought gym clothes and running shoes in an effort to be supportive of my wife's unintentional weightloss with her pregnancy. I told her I was going to beat her weightloss, and this wasn't a competition that she should be actively participating in...

    If you know what hyperemesis gravidarum is, it's well beyond that cutesy term 'morning sickness'... she's had it the whole way through, and is on a handful of different meds, one of which is used in chemo patients. These basically knock her out, sap her energy and her appetite. Long story slightly shorter, she's down about 35lbs from her pre-pregnancy weight right now.

    Sadly, I don't think I'm going to "win" at this rate, because she's got another big chunk to drop soon, so I'll just have to change the game and keep exercising and eating right.
  • Mgregory723
    Mgregory723 Posts: 529 Member
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    My husband has turned into a pervert. He stares at me, cant keep his hands to himself, and makes "commens" to me... thats how my husband has changed...



    ^^ My husband does this now. Are you telling me it's going to get worse? :laugh:

    yes, it has gotten worse! my husband always told me how good i looked, even though i knew i didnt. he always told me how much he loved me, no matter what... but now, its like im married to some 18 year old pervert!

    and... we have 5 kids, and they even catch him staring at me... ill be in the kitchen, and ill hear one of my daughters... "dad, stop staring at moms butt, you wierdo!!!" sometimes i feel like im being stalked!


    LMAO! My husband stares at me all the time! I sometimes it's annoying, especially in the morning right when I'm fresh out of bed with my hair and face is a mess. I guess I just have to put up with it (oh darn) LOL
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
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    My husband has turned into a pervert. He stares at me, cant keep his hands to himself, and makes "commens" to me... thats how my husband has changed...

    That's hilarious! I do find my butt getting grabbed more than it used to! There's nothing better than having your spouse still attracted to you after 21 years of marriage!
  • 4pawsmom
    4pawsmom Posts: 20 Member
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    My husband has always been incredibly supportive of me, regardless of my size. He celebrates my victories, has always called me "beautiful" as a nickname, and tells me every day that I look terrific and whether its complimenting my hair, my blouse or my *kitten*, he will find something specific to mention so he doesn't sound like his compliments are on autopilot.

    He thinks it's great that I've joined a gym and finds it funny that I come home and act all stupid proud of how much I sweat during my workout. He doesn't have any interest in participating, nor does he need to because he has remained about the same size throughout our 18 year marriage. I am fine with that, since I've come to regard the gym as "me" time and prefer not to have to think about anyone else while I am there.

    I've always known I had a good man (dude still opens the car door for me - how cool is that?), and I will have a good man throughout my journey. That just makes the road that much easier to navigate.
  • FaerieCae
    FaerieCae Posts: 437 Member
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    My husband sure likes the results of my hard work...but heaven forbid if I'm trying to workout in the lounge and he walks in, he automatically asks 'are you dont yet? How much longer are you gunna be? Can you stop now."...I tell him how long ill be, sometimes it gets to the stage where im sweating, lifting weights and swearing at him to eff off so I can get it done faster. Very annoying, but the xbox and computer are hooked up to the same tv. On the flipside he is more affectionate and appreciative of things feeling firmer lol. As long as my going to the gym doesnt affect HIS plans he doesnt care when I go.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
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    My husband loves my new hot self. I'm just waiting for him to start working out too. Now THAT would be ideal!!!
  • TheNewAdventuresofDanni
    TheNewAdventuresofDanni Posts: 106 Member
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    I love my fiance' and he is incredibly supportive and even reminds me to work out on days where my brain isn't quite on track. The only thing that bothers me is that he likes to poke my belly. I don't like the reminder that it's there most days
  • TheEffort
    TheEffort Posts: 1,028 Member
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    Yeah, she's noticing...:wink:

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  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    My husband has turned into a pervert. He stares at me, cant keep his hands to himself, and makes "commens" to me... thats how my husband has changed...

    That's hilarious! I do find my butt getting grabbed more than it used to! There's nothing better than having your spouse still attracted to you after 21 years of marriage!

    aww this is awesome! :drinker:
  • Katey12891
    Katey12891 Posts: 41 Member
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    My boyfriend is the best... he himself doesn't have any weight to lose and he loves takeaways, mainly fish and chips or pizza. One night he comes home from work and he says he can't be bothered making dinner. I said it's ok he can have take aways tonight and he said "we will have takeaways when your ready to have takeaways" and my heart just melted all over the couch. Another time I was complaining about how hadn't lost any weight for a few weeks and he said he would do the diet with me. It was so touching but he had to stop due to him losing his much needed weight.
    He met me when I was at my highest weight and has treated me the same at any weight I have been. He doesn't care about the weight loss or that I used to be large. We even have fun weighing each other on the scales. Once I hoped on his back and both got on the scales. I am now the same weight as him but he looks much skinnier then me because he is taller and has more muscle.
    What I really miss though is eating our meals together. Because Im choosy with my food and diet I eat different dinners to him 99% of the time.
  • luckynky
    luckynky Posts: 123 Member
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    My husband has been very supportive, especially since I need him to watch our needy 3 year old 3 or 4 times a week after work. He doesn't love the time I spend away from the family, but he seems to try to support me. I think it's mostly because he sees how much happier I've been since making some progress, and that I'm much more confident about my body already. I've noticed that I even want to go out more and do more things with him, which I know he loves.

    My problem is that my husband could stand to lose some weight and he also isn't very healthy about his eating or anything. I am really trying hard not to say anything negative, but I'm really hoping that he will see me changing for the better and that he will be motivated to do something. It's just hard when we go out to eat and he eats a 3 course fried chicken dinner (I mean, salad, bread, huge fried chicken pieces with side items, and dessert). Makes me sick, actually!
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
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    Last month he decides, he wants to lose weight. He is a good 75 lbs over weight. He goes on the HCG diet, drops 24 lbs, and now tells me this morning he wants to have sex this weekend. He hasn't romantically touched me 18 months and I am supposed to be overjoyed that he is showing interest in me again? Don't think so...:grumble:

    Well this tells you that it was about him, not about you, so that should make you feel better. I know you didn't ask advice, but I think you should rekindle the spark. If you want to have a good marriage that is.

    I completely agree, don't hold on to the resentment, life's too short. Embrace this opportunity to build a better marriage, tell him how happy you are that he wants you again and let him know how it made you feel when he wasn't attracted to you. He may open up to you and tell you that it wasn't that he wasn't attracted to you, but wasn't happy with himself and had a lower sex drive. We always think that men are easily "turned on", but they suffer from self esteem issues and insecurities just like us.

    I speak from experience, as I mentioned above, I'm celebrating 21 years of marriage this year and there have been some serious bumps in the road along the way.
  • mamosh81
    mamosh81 Posts: 409 Member
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    i met my boyfriend when i was at my highest so he has never seen me fit always the big girl so he loves me no matter what but i notice he is wants more cuddles lately and cant keep his hands of my tush since i started doing squats and he is very supportive and cheers me on when i work out and is happy for me when i tell him i am in a size smaller or point out the changes in my body i am noticing
  • mindyjo74
    mindyjo74 Posts: 68 Member
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    My wife lost weight with me two+ years ago- we both lost 45+ pounds each, but we have both gained it back since then. We've tried multiple times to get 'back on the wagon' together over the two years.. she's never been able to, and I had sone good attempts and was criticized over the 'time away from her'.. I FINALLY got back into the swing of things in February- I've logged around 140 days straight, I'm down 45 pounds, and multiple inches from all over my body. She is not supportive, she is discouraging, attempts to guilt me into staying home from the gym or a run, criticizes the few vitamins and supplements I take, and overall just isn't really okay with me being happier and losing weight. I hope YOUR experiences are more positive than this.


    I understand what you are going through because my husband is the same way. He is not supportive and vocalizes those feelings often. Then tries to make me feel guilty for the time i spend working out. However i am down 24 pounds and feeling great and not going to let his attitude stop that!! Congratulations on your weight loss!!! Keep up that good work!!!

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