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Hanging out with my husband at...a strip club?

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  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
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    "Plot the ways I'm going to torture the chick for putting her bits and bobs in my hubby's face."

    My bf and I have a super jealous streak in us. Neither one of us likes being touched anyway, but when someone randomly even just hugs us (outside of family/friends) we literally cringe. Haha. So, the jealous doesn't come up much. But, we've talked about going to a strip club as well. If I was super drunk, i'd be down for both of us getting a lap dance... but only if the girl was butt-ugly in the face, haha... for him that is. Lolz.
  • LATeagno
    LATeagno Posts: 620 Member
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    "Plot the ways I'm going to torture the chick for putting her bits and bobs in my hubby's face."

    My bf and I have a super jealous streak in us. Neither one of us likes being touched anyway, but when someone randomly even just hugs us (outside of family/friends) we literally cringe. Haha. So, the jealous doesn't come up much. But, we've talked about going to a strip club as well. If I was super drunk, i'd be down for both of us getting a lap dance... but only if the girl was butt-ugly in the face, haha... for him that is. Lolz.

    Bahahaha... i was literally just saying this to my husband! I was like, to prevent jealousy, I'm going to pick some girl with something i know will be a major turnoff for you. He hates a lot of tats, so I was joking around telling him that I'm totally picking the tattoo girl. LOL
  • StaticNomad
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    I am replying because you sound exactly like me... humor and all, and you know, I find the responses back to be mostly very helpful from some solid people who only want you to have the best time you possibly can have. I think that talk to the girl, if she were to give you a lap dance, would be a good thing. Like, just tell her this is your first time, you feel a little awkward and need some gentle guidance. They get these sorts in all the time I imagine and so they know how to be professional about helping you to be comfortable, have fun, and enjoy the experience so that they create a repeat customer. :)

    As for your comments.... I laughed so much, and have to say I find you to be an awesome human being. Thank you for sharing!! I hope that if you do go, you have an amazing time. :)
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
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    Oh, and hey...when you do go? (And I am fairly certain you WILL...) Pop back in and let us know how much fun you had, k? :laugh: :wink:
  • LATeagno
    LATeagno Posts: 620 Member
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    Oh, and hey...when you do go? (And I am fairly certain you WILL...) Pop back in and let us know how much fun you had, k? :laugh: :wink:


    I totally will! lol
  • MexicanOsmosis
    MexicanOsmosis Posts: 382 Member
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    My wife and I had our bachelor and bachelorette parties at the same strip club. She had her party the week before mine. We both got our "hot seat" dance (in other words, up on the main stage), by the same dancer...my wife actually recommended her to me, lol.
  • vkc1978
    vkc1978 Posts: 63 Member
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    OK, so say I say "honey, let's do this. But let's skip out on the lap dances for the first time so that I can get a feel for the place."

    I think he'll be OK with that. I think. That is, until some chick with giant chesticles (I sound like I'm 5, but I'm trying to keep this PG... lol) is all like "hey, baby, you like these?" Then he's going to look at me like "please, mommy? can i pleaseeeee have the candy?" Haha....

    OK, let's say that doesn't happen. How do you tip? I thought you put money in their underwear or something? And how do you tip? Is it like... here's a dollar? Here's a five. Here's a ten. Like... is there a percentage or something? LOL... What's considered to be an average tip for a non-lap dance? What about for a lap dance? How much is a lap dance?

    If I WERE to get a lap dance, am I supposed to like... stare at the chick? Look at my husband? Am I supposed to be all looking at him like, "look, honey, a threesome! imagine yourself with us!" Or am I supposed to be like, "Well golly gee, ma'am, you sure do have some pretty long acrylic nails. And those clear shoes are just gorg--where did you get them?"

    I'm realizing right now at this very moment that I sound like I've been quarantined in a church bell tower for the last 29 years of my life.


    :laugh: :laugh: youre making me giggle! I love your style, and sense of humor, you sound like a very open and candid person. I dont really have anything offer in the way of fees, but in my opinion, i think youll have a great time :drinker:
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    I just don't see this ending well.
  • marcoscu
    marcoscu Posts: 99 Member
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    Just have a drink, go along and have some fun and make sure your husband knows what a lucky guy he is. If you go and don't have fun then make sure your husband knows this and don;t go again.
  • VorJoshigan
    VorJoshigan Posts: 1,106 Member
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    I'm impressed by the lack of judgmental prudes so far.
    I seriously have no idea how to act at a strip club. Do you smile? Do you talk? Do you stare blankly while puke builds up in your esophagus? Do you touch? Do you not touch? Do you look at all of her bits and parts? Do you attempt not to look at them? I'm seriously freaked out by this.

    But again, what am I supposed to do while he's getting his dance? Do I like...watch? Check Facebook on my phone? Log the lap dance experience I just had onto my MFP exercise because I'm pretty sure by the time it's over it'll be as if I'd just run a marathon? Smile and giggle like I'm 10? Plot the ways I'm going to torture the chick for putting her bits and bobs in my hubby's face? Hahaha... no, but seriously. What the heck do you do? I'm super prone to feeling awkward, and this may as well be the most awkward thing ever for me.
    Agree with the folks who say you are overthinking this, but here is some specific feedback.

    Note: This is a chance for you to be in charge.

    Smile - if you are inclined to smile, give in to it, but don't force it. It just looks really unpleasant when you force it.
    Talk - Less so while they are dancing, but since you are a woman, you are more likely to have dancers sit down next to you to chat. Most of this will be attempted marketing for their next dance.
    Stare - ABSOLUTELY! It's kinda the point.
    Puke - if you really are getting sick, tell hubby and get out. Cabarets are evidently not for you.
    Touch - varies by state. only touch if the dancer places your hands on her. Let your dancer guide you. You can always ask her, though her verbal cues may not match her physical ones if the laws are strict but not followed.
    Look - look at everything you want to look at, and nothing you don't.
    Him - definitely watch him if you permit him to get a dance. When he looks at you, and he will, give him saucy looks and winks and/or a reassuring smile.
    Facebook - absolutely not. Leave your phone in your purse/pocket.
    Log - only calories



    Or so I've heard.™
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
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    In all honesty, I think you need to talk to your husband honestly about it.

    I have been to a few lap clubs with partners or friends, and I can honestly say they can be a real laugh and they don't faze me at all - but you do have to be comfortable with that sort of thing, especially if you are going with your partner.

    You say you are a little jealous but you think you would be ok with it, but you need to be 100% sure. A friend of mine did this with her husband, and she thought she was ok with it, then it quickly turned into; 'I bet he was thinking of that stripper when he was with me', 'I'll never look as good as that', and 'maybe that's the sort of woman he really wants'. It did cause some problems.

    I would recommend if you do go, just watching the women on stage before going in for a private lap dance. Then you can see how you feel.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
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    I just don't see this ending well.
    2nd
  • LATeagno
    LATeagno Posts: 620 Member
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    I just don't see this ending well.
    2nd



    ROFL... I kind of see this with me ending up getting arrested for public intoxication as I run down the road with a bottle still in my hand screaming and crying for some reasons that I really can't put my finger on. Bahahaha...


    I'll be OK. I think I'll just have to be really drunk. Alcohol will be an integral part of my stripper induction evening.
  • goalss4nika
    goalss4nika Posts: 529 Member
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    My wife and I had our bachelor and bachelorette parties at the same strip club. She had her party the week before mine. We both got our "hot seat" dance (in other words, up on the main stage), by the same dancer...my wife actually recommended her to me, lol.


    This is HOT!! Love it:love:
  • thecakelocker
    thecakelocker Posts: 407 Member
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    I just don't see this ending well.
    2nd

    3rd, you sound really uncomfortable with this and the fact that you think you'll have to get drunk to tolerate it just screams disaster
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
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    I just don't see this ending well.
    2nd



    ROFL... I kind of see this with me ending up getting arrested for public intoxication as I run down the road with a bottle still in my hand screaming and crying for some reasons that I really can't put my finger on. Bahahaha...


    I'll be OK. I think I'll just have to be really drunk. Alcohol will be an integral part of my stripper induction evening.
    alcohol + jealousy + husband looking at hot strippers+ hubby suggesting taking a stripper home with you(it will happen)=may not end well:wink:
  • FearAnLoathingJ
    FearAnLoathingJ Posts: 337 Member
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    I just don't see this ending well.
    2nd

    3rd, you sound really uncomfortable with this and the fact that you think you'll have to get drunk to tolerate it just screams disaster

    she also sounds really interested. Of course she might be nervous going in having never been to one the only ideas she probably has about them come from tv ect.
  • LATeagno
    LATeagno Posts: 620 Member
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    I just don't see this ending well.
    2nd



    ROFL... I kind of see this with me ending up getting arrested for public intoxication as I run down the road with a bottle still in my hand screaming and crying for some reasons that I really can't put my finger on. Bahahaha...


    I'll be OK. I think I'll just have to be really drunk. Alcohol will be an integral part of my stripper induction evening.
    alcohol + jealousy + husband looking at hot strippers+ hubby suggesting taking a stripper home with you(it will happen)=may not end well:wink:

    Egh, we'll be OK. We've braved through some rough waters. LOL
  • goalss4nika
    goalss4nika Posts: 529 Member
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    I think she's gonna LOVE IT! And next time just take the girls out to the female strip club. I know me and my girls go ALLLL the time:tongue:
  • LATeagno
    LATeagno Posts: 620 Member
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    I just don't see this ending well.
    2nd

    3rd, you sound really uncomfortable with this and the fact that you think you'll have to get drunk to tolerate it just screams disaster

    she also sounds really interested. Of course she might be nervous going in having never been to one the only ideas she probably has about them come from tv ect.


    That really is it. In general, I'm not an uptight person-- but I really feel like I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb. I just want to know the ropes before I dive in. I think I'm going to take multiple peoples' advice and just visit for the first time and get a feel for the place and how things work. I'm only uncomfortable when I don't understand how things work. Observing will help to make that all better. Then, if I feel like it, I'll go in a second time. I really think I just have first time jitters. :)