Hanging out with my husband at...a strip club?

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  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    So call me a prude, but I don't see it ending well either.

    Ask yourself WHY are you considering this?
    To please your husband?
    Because things are getting boring in the bedroom?
    Does he not give you the attention you need, so you are feeling like you aren't enough for him?
    Do you have an attraction to the opposite sex?

    What are your fears of going?
    Are you afraid your husband will like the other girls better? Compare you to them?
    Are you afraid you might like it and it make you question your sexuality?
    Are you afraid that your husband might take it a step further and want to bring a girl into your bed with you?
    Are you afraid your husband might want to take it further WITHOUT you, but just another girl?

    By agreeing to go with him, you are giving your husband permission to look at other women, mostly naked, and get excited over them. That is a very big line to cross.
    It is a very short trip for him to go without you, then you don't know what he is doing while you are not there.
    It is a short trip for him to suggest bringing another woman into your bed. Are you ok with that?
    The next step is having another woman in his bed without you. Are you ok with that?

    If you are this nervous, and feel you can only do this with alcohol, then you know in your heart that this is not for you.
    Listen to your heart, not others on here who are telling you that it is ok.

    Have an open conversation with your husband about WHY he feels the need to do this, and how it makes you feel.
    My opinion may not be the 'cool' answer, but I have been in a marriage where I compromised my principles just to please my husband, and it did not go well at all. That line keeps getting pushed further and further.
    It took years for me to get out of that relationship and to repair my shattered self-esteem.

    Now I have been married for 15 yrs to a man who respects me and our marriage. We have an amazing intimate life that grows better every day. Neither of us has to worry about the other one wanting something different, or needing something to 'shake things up'. He would never disrespect me by taking me to a strip club.

    This may sound judgmental to some of you, but it is just MY experience and views on marriage. 'Forsaking all others' means something to us.
    Once you cross that line, it cannot be uncrossed.
  • hedgiie
    hedgiie Posts: 1,245 Member
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    jeez if u are so uptight abt going why dont u just stay home and leave the strippers for the ppl who want to be there

    *about
    *don't
    *people


    You should make more duck faces.
    lol, this makes my day
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
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    Disaster waiting to happen
    l
  • hedgiie
    hedgiie Posts: 1,245 Member
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    So call me a prude, but I don't see it ending well either.

    Ask yourself WHY are you considering this?
    To please your husband?
    Because things are getting boring in the bedroom?
    Does he not give you the attention you need, so you are feeling like you aren't enough for him?
    Do you have an attraction to the opposite sex?

    What are your fears of going?
    Are you afraid your husband will like the other girls better? Compare you to them?
    Are you afraid you might like it and it make you question your sexuality?
    Are you afraid that your husband might take it a step further and want to bring a girl into your bed with you?
    Are you afraid your husband might want to take it further WITHOUT you, but just another girl?

    By agreeing to go with him, you are giving your husband permission to look at other women, mostly naked, and get excited over them. That is a very big line to cross.
    It is a very short trip for him to go without you, then you don't know what he is doing while you are not there.
    It is a short trip for him to suggest bringing another woman into your bed. Are you ok with that?
    The next step is having another woman in his bed without you. Are you ok with that?

    If you are this nervous, and feel you can only do this with alcohol, then you know in your heart that this is not for you.
    Listen to your heart, not others on here who are telling you that it is ok.

    Have an open conversation with your husband about WHY he feels the need to do this, and how it makes you feel.
    My opinion may not be the 'cool' answer, but I have been in a marriage where I compromised my principles just to please my husband, and it did not go well at all. That line keeps getting pushed further and further.
    It took years for me to get out of that relationship and to repair my shattered self-esteem.

    Now I have been married for 15 yrs to a man who respects me and our marriage. We have an amazing intimate life that grows better every day. Neither of us has to worry about the other one wanting something different, or needing something to 'shake things up'. He would never disrespect me by taking me to a strip club.

    This may sound judgmental to some of you, but it is just MY experience and views on marriage. 'Forsaking all others' means something to us.
    Once you cross that line, it cannot be uncrossed.

    it's different for everyone. don't get me wrong, i agree with you. and yes this can be complicated for some
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    I just don't see this ending well.
    2nd



    ROFL... I kind of see this with me ending up getting arrested for public intoxication as I run down the road with a bottle still in my hand screaming and crying for some reasons that I really can't put my finger on. Bahahaha...


    I'll be OK. I think I'll just have to be really drunk. Alcohol will be an integral part of my stripper induction evening.

    This last post gives you your answer. You are trying too hard to talk yourself into something you really don't want to do.
  • hardyjessicag
    hardyjessicag Posts: 93 Member
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    I've been once before with my boyfriend and some friends, and I had a blast! We actually might go for a second time tonight

    However, there are a couple of rules that I have:

    I don't care about him looking or tipping, or even putting cash in a g-string. But lap dances for him are a no-go.

    He also can't go to a strip club without me being there.

    That's about it. Other than that, we drink and have a great time.

    Going into a strip club can be nerve wracking at first, so that's normal. However, if it is something that really unsettles/frightens you, then you shouldn't force yourself to do it. Trying new things is great, but you have to do what's right for you.

    Best of luck!
  • mcflat29
    mcflat29 Posts: 2,159 Member
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    Strip clubs are a fine couples activity. Everyone is nervous the first time. It's something you won't know how you'll react until you're there. Just stick together, maintain open and HONEST communication, and enjoy the moment. You're there as a couple, you leave as a couple. It's basically a bar with half-naked people walking around.

    And, kudos to you for being open to new experiences. Even if you hate it, you'll be able to say you tried it. :wink: :flowerforyou:
  • JustLindaLou
    JustLindaLou Posts: 376 Member
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    I have only been to a strip club once, with my then-husband and some friends. It was completely spur of the moment, we had been to a hockey game and the arena was right near the strip club where our friends had been several times. I was kinda freaked out initially, I mean, I was raised in a very strict Baptist home and I figured lightning was gonna strike me for sure...

    BUT it was fun! Our friends knew some of the girls, and arranged for a lap dance for my husband by one girl they knew and liked. For me it was hilarious because my husband was so obviously uncomfortable because I was there LOL! I was fascinated by the girls, their incredible bodies, their grace and athleticism, and all while wearing 5" stilletos...

    I personally was enthralled by the girl in the lobby, she was in a huge champagne glass doing all kinds of moves, she was beautiful and had amazing tattoos. I tipped her well on the way out the door. I don't remember what any of the other girls specifically looked like, including the one who gave husband a lap dance, but I can still clearly picture the girl in the champagne glass. I didn't feel a sexual attraction to her, she was just so beautiful, like exquisite art.

    My only regret about the whole night?? Considering we had just come from a hockey game, I felt quite overdressed in a turtleneck, jeans and boots LOL!!! Wished I at least had a blouse on so I could unbutton a little!!

    I probably would not go again, this was several years ago and my life is different now and I am far more committed to my Christianity and I don't think a strip club is where I want to be for entertainment,** but I enjoyed the experience at the time and I don't ever look back and go "I wish I could unsee that".

    (**I would however, go see Thunder Down Under in a heartbeat and deal with the hypocrisy of this statement later..... :laugh: )
  • anro86
    anro86 Posts: 790 Member
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    I am going to a strip club with my hubby tonight and have been several times in the past. I am not sure what state you are in, but here the girls have to wear bikinis while they are giving lap dances, which helps, to not make things so uncomfortable about bits and pieces.... hehe. I enjoy it, the girls are always really nice, I mean, they are working for tips! And if they see a couple they are usually going to lavish much more attention on the female- so be prepared for that! Laughing is fine, I think giggling is a normal nervous reaction, I know I spend a lot of the night doing it. I don't get jealous about lap dances for him, because I know these girls surely aren't going home with him :-) But just make sure you're comfortable, you are going out to have some drinks and have a great time- not to feel jealous or upset with your spouse. Plus if you start to make convo with the girls its usually really interesting conversation. I personally would recommend it! Go tonight and we'll be in the same place "virtually" lol
  • Athf2011
    Athf2011 Posts: 2
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    *****
  • FearAnLoathingJ
    FearAnLoathingJ Posts: 337 Member
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    Soooo did you go?
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteous
    Sublimely_Self_Righteous Posts: 429
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    jeez if u are so uptight abt going why dont u just stay home and leave the strippers for the ppl who want to be there

    jeez if u cud just stop mking duck faces n all ur profile picz u cud read wat she sed in her post
  • RebeccaHite
    RebeccaHite Posts: 187 Member
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    I have fun! I wad up dollar bills and try to hit different body parts like a competition.Get toasty and have too much fun...if you feel weird play pool.
  • Jonesingmucho
    Jonesingmucho Posts: 4,902 Member
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    Wow!

    I just figured out I'm the jealous type. I don't think a strip club outing would work out well for me and anyone I was serious about.

    BUT...

    C'est la vie! Whatever makes you happy, go for it.

    roflmao
  • FearAnLoathingJ
    FearAnLoathingJ Posts: 337 Member
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    jeez if u are so uptight abt going why dont u just stay home and leave the strippers for the ppl who want to be there

    jeez if u cud just stop mking duck faces n all ur profile picz u cud read wat she sed in her post

    But duck face is just so freaking sexy:bigsmile:
  • tallvesl99
    tallvesl99 Posts: 231 Member
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    I am not a prude by any stretch...I just feel that a man needs to come up to my standards...I won't be brought down to his...you set the bar really low when you engage in that type activity....once you go there, you can't go back...I can't believe how many of the posts on here say that "I went with my EX-HUSBAND" and I'm the only one that notices the irony in that.........I believe that as women we set the bar for how men will treat us....come on ladies...start acting like one!
  • andrewjuu
    andrewjuu Posts: 76 Member
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    They don't let you touch

    You're going to the wrong strip clubs.

    You're not going to a 'strip club' :laugh:
  • SemperAnticus1643
    SemperAnticus1643 Posts: 703 Member
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    Me and the fellas used to go out to strip clubs in college. He was my best friend and we had a great time. A lot of times we went with mutual friends who occasionally brought their girlfriends along. I spent majority of my time having a few drinks or playing pool with the other women that were brought along. I only got one lap dance in my entire time of strip club hopping. It was my birthday and my best friend "surprised" me with a gift. lol As far as going with my husband...if he brought it up I would be a bit concerned. It could be the beginning of a downward spiral for your marriage.
  • leggoego
    leggoego Posts: 37
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    once I go there, they usually don't let me come back haha
  • DalekBrittany
    DalekBrittany Posts: 1,748 Member
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    I am not a prude by any stretch...I just feel that a man needs to come up to my standards...I won't be brought down to his...you set the bar really low when you engage in that type activity....once you go there, you can't go back...I can't believe how many of the posts on here say that "I went with my EX-HUSBAND" and I'm the only one that notices the irony in that.........I believe that as women we set the bar for how men will treat us....come on ladies...start acting like one!

    Or that some women don't feel like they need their man to raise their bar for them and kiss the ground they walk on, but you shouldn't treat him the same way you want to be treated?

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