This is rather uncomfortable....(lexapro withdrawals)

sgtinvincible
sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
So for the last year and a half or so I have been on Lexapro (due to a horrible divorce, and the realization that my ex-wife was...well...let's just say she's a poor person). I have never been someone who has really taken medicines as I don't like the feeling of being medicated in any way. After a couple of close calls though (I admit it, I was, for the first time in my life suicidal...I didn't make any attempts, but I came close...it's kinda surreal looking back on it) my doctor recommended me going on it for depression and anxiety. So, I did. It worked wonders, it was great, and I credit it for helping me refocus and cut through the crap that was crippling me.

So after one unsuccessful attempt to come off it (it was far too soon, and my divorce wasn't final yet) I have decided that it's time to get back to business as usual without chemical assistance.

I have spent the last 3 or so months weening myself from 20mg and have eventually made my way to 5mg every other day. 4 days ago, after talking with Manda (she's my rock) I made the decision to stop taking it. The first day, I felt ok, the next day my hands started hurting (felt hypersensitive, like little shocks going through them), the second day the shocks became worse, and my legs started having them also, yesterday I developed chills and the pain has moved into my arms...today...well today it is pretty rough...the pain is fairly intense and my whole body is aching...I am tired and completely drained...the chills are also really bad today and my whole body is trembling...I am light headed and I am starting to feel slightly nauceous...I have seen a lot of addicts come off dope, but I've never experienced withdrawals myself, in any way shape or form....it's extremely hard...but I can't let myself go back on it...I have to power through it and keep in mind that the old me is the goal. I deserve it and Manda deserves it. This is kinda the wage I am paying for being so weak in the first place.

Anyway, from what I've read, it's about a 2 week process to beat the withdrawals....I'm trying not to become irritable, but my tolerance for people is at a low right now...

Please just say a prayer for me on this. I don't like to complain, (I never tell people when I am hurting) but this is a little too much to bear alone. I love and trust you guys, so I thought I would vent your way a little. Thanks for being here during a difficult time for me. (and say a prayer for Manda too, she's been so good to me the last couple of days, she's definately my angel...)

Love you all

-J:heart:
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Replies

  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    So for the last year and a half or so I have been on Lexapro (due to a horrible divorce, and the realization that my ex-wife was...well...let's just say she's a poor person). I have never been someone who has really taken medicines as I don't like the feeling of being medicated in any way. After a couple of close calls though (I admit it, I was, for the first time in my life suicidal...I didn't make any attempts, but I came close...it's kinda surreal looking back on it) my doctor recommended me going on it for depression and anxiety. So, I did. It worked wonders, it was great, and I credit it for helping me refocus and cut through the crap that was crippling me.

    So after one unsuccessful attempt to come off it (it was far too soon, and my divorce wasn't final yet) I have decided that it's time to get back to business as usual without chemical assistance.

    I have spent the last 3 or so months weening myself from 20mg and have eventually made my way to 5mg every other day. 4 days ago, after talking with Manda (she's my rock) I made the decision to stop taking it. The first day, I felt ok, the next day my hands started hurting (felt hypersensitive, like little shocks going through them), the second day the shocks became worse, and my legs started having them also, yesterday I developed chills and the pain has moved into my arms...today...well today it is pretty rough...the pain is fairly intense and my whole body is aching...I am tired and completely drained...the chills are also really bad today and my whole body is trembling...I am light headed and I am starting to feel slightly nauceous...I have seen a lot of addicts come off dope, but I've never experienced withdrawals myself, in any way shape or form....it's extremely hard...but I can't let myself go back on it...I have to power through it and keep in mind that the old me is the goal. I deserve it and Manda deserves it. This is kinda the wage I am paying for being so weak in the first place.

    Anyway, from what I've read, it's about a 2 week process to beat the withdrawals....I'm trying not to become irritable, but my tolerance for people is at a low right now...

    Please just say a prayer for me on this. I don't like to complain, (I never tell people when I am hurting) but this is a little too much to bear alone. I love and trust you guys, so I thought I would vent your way a little. Thanks for being here during a difficult time for me. (and say a prayer for Manda too, she's been so good to me the last couple of days, she's definately my angel...)

    Love you all

    -J:heart:
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    J--

    Prayers are always available!

    I commend you for having courage to seek help when you needed it--and also for now trying to get off meds. I didn't realize one could have those kinds of withdrawals from depression meds, and I hope that you soon beat this stuff.

    I'm so glad that Manda is there with you through this--God has looked after you!

    Keep your chin up and your hands folded in prayer, and you'll get the strength you need from the only Rock that can provide it!
  • Healthier_Me
    Healthier_Me Posts: 5,600 Member
    You will get through this J. It's for your well being. It's time to take your life back. GOD is there for you honey. Ask for his help... ask for his strength.. he is always there... You will get through this. I know you will. One day at a time sweetie.

    :heart: u

    ~Jo Jo:flowerforyou:
  • rosabella
    rosabella Posts: 194 Member
    You and Manda are in my prayers.


    And J - try not to think of this as a punishment for "being weak in the first place" - you went through a lot and yes, sometimes we all need help in one form or another, and that's perfectly okay. You WILL get through this, and the blessing at the end is that you will never take for granted a happy, healthy life.

    Even though you don't know me, I hope it helps to know that people care. Love and hugs to you both.
  • HappyathomeMN
    HappyathomeMN Posts: 498 Member
    First off - you aren't "weak in the first place", you are human and Gods creation. Have faith, He will see you through.
    Second-Manda, more power to you girl for being the rock in the storm! You too will get through this.
    Third-WAY TO GO on having the fortitude to make this happen, YOU CAN DO IT!
  • cheermom11
    cheermom11 Posts: 393 Member
    J -

    I certainly don't believe you were 'weak' before and asking for support is certainly not complaining. Unfortunately, sometimes life just happens. I give you alot of credit for doing this this. Manda was a gift to you - and you will get through this together.

    Prayers your way -
    Lynn
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
    I love you honey.

    We'll make it through this.

    :heart:
  • ayrnelaine
    ayrnelaine Posts: 13
    I think you are very strong and brave to talk about your problems. Sometimes that is the hardest thing; asking for help. I have taken antidepressents several time in my adult life. I also tried to weene myself off and it was very dangerous. I thought I shouldn't need medication to make me feel better. I had a similar reaction to you, but i also was dizzy and my body was in shock, so just be careful. My aunt told me once that if I broke my arm or had the flu I wouldn't think twice about taking medicine to help. So if it is helping you through this hard time then that is what its job is. Hang in there. My prayers are with you.
  • jill927
    jill927 Posts: 471 Member
    j~
    You can do it! I've been there! (with other meds) and trust me it is HARD but once you do it it feels SO SO SO good! It's just like weight loss, sometimes it's hard to focus, but you've gotta keep your eyes on the prize. Also, have you talked to your doctor? For some meds there are different ways to withdraw and different tips and things you can do to make it easier on your body. i quit cold turkey without talking to my doctor, after weaning myself down to a smaller dose, and trust me he was NOT happy with me :ohwell: but in the long run it was like I needed to PROVE to myself that I could do it. Just take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if you have to. Just try to stay busy and think about other stuff, and if you ened us, we are here for you for sure!!!!!

    :heart: jill
  • natalie424
    natalie424 Posts: 320
    J,

    Please don't ever think that you were "weak in the first place". Seeking help from your doctor was a sign of strength. Divorce is so hard... no matter what the situation is like. Sometimes asking for help is the hardest and the bravest thing to do. Good luck to you... You WILL get through this.
  • CyclingDiva
    CyclingDiva Posts: 492 Member
    My hat is off to you J! God is on your side and you will make it through this....
    Just remember, pain is weakness leaving the body! The strong you is waiting on the other side!
    I'm cheering for you! nagiro.gif
    :heart: Kelly
  • peej76
    peej76 Posts: 1,250 Member
    Hi there,

    You are not weak, somtimes life throws us curves that are difficult to handle, and since we are not perfect it makes perfect sence sometimes to have to take something to help us out. I was going through withdrawal from zoloft and also from anxiety pills. Unlike you I didn't go through any physical pain but alot of head tricks. I almost ALMOST lost my husband, because I didn't know how to talk to him about what was going on, so in turn he didn't know how to deal with it. At least you have that on your side! In my case the antidepressants were what was actually making me suicidal, so there was no choice. I can totally understand you wanting to get off of them. My husband was the reason I knew I could do it, and my reason for wanting to do it too! I still have "down" times but they are much more manageable, and now when I am having a bout of depression, I write, or talk to my husband about it, take long walks and this helps ten times more than the meds ever did!

    Give your pain up to God and Manda, they are both strong enough and willing to be your crutch!! It will be hard, but totally worth it....hang in there. I will pray for strength for you both, and know you will be well soon!!

    Thoughts and prayers!

    Penny
  • icupfunny2000
    icupfunny2000 Posts: 470 Member
    I am sorry you have to go through this!! but you have a great girl by your side and you have all of us here...... you can do it!!!

    jackie
  • walnut
    walnut Posts: 216 Member
    Definitely talk to your doctor about the side effects you're having!! Just as different people metabolize drugs at different rates, they withdraw from them differently too. Certain antidepressants and anxiety meds can have dangerous effects if you don't taper off of them correctly and in a way that works with your own body.

    Also, taking antidepressants or having depression does not mean a person is weak. These things can happen to anyone. Weakness is not having the courage to ask for help when you need it, and you are showing that courage right now. :flowerforyou:
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
    Definitely talk to your doctor about the side effects you're having!! Just as different people metabolize drugs at different rates, they withdraw from them differently too. Certain antidepressants and anxiety meds can have dangerous effects if you don't taper off of them correctly and in a way that works with your own body.

    Also, taking antidepressants or having depression does not mean a person is weak. These things can happen to anyone. Weakness is not having the courage to ask for help when you need it, and you are showing that courage right now. :flowerforyou:

    I have to second this. . .this sounds like a question for the Dr. Just to make sure it's normal withdrawal symptoms and not something dangerous.

    Breathe and pray.:flowerforyou:
  • iluvsparkles
    iluvsparkles Posts: 1,730 Member
    aww J, my heart is with you.

    you are strong and will power through! im glad you have a rock to help steady you away from the lexapro...im with you on the nonmedicated side of life! im proud of you for that!!!!
  • You will tough it out. I have a feeling you are strong and will come through fine. Keep struggling and think of how much better it will be when you can feel better on your own without any medical help. If you look at my sight, you will see why doctors tried to put me on some stuff for a while, but I had so much going on, it would have been even harder with that and I stopped after two weeks on my own. Glad I did now. I am just fine and feel great, and that is saying something!
    Good luck to you!
  • pmkelly409
    pmkelly409 Posts: 1,646 Member
    thank you for having the courage to share this very personal story with all of us. It shows your level of trust and more importantly, your strength to fight through this difficult time. you are obviously ready, let your higher power guide you - best wishes!

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are so lucky to have found a soulmate in Manda - best to both of you. We love you!

    tricia :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • AJCM
    AJCM Posts: 2,169 Member
    I so admire your strength to do this!!! You will make it through - and you are so lucky to have Manda's support.

    Take good care of each other...
    :flowerforyou:
  • mello
    mello Posts: 817 Member
    It took alot of courage to share that story with us. Don't ever think your "weak"!! There are times in all our lives that we need help. Your doing the absolute right thing....you are using or used the meds for what you needed them for and now that you feel stronger, your giving them up and moving on with your life. We're all here for you to "vent" to online....Manda's there to hold you and God is there watching over you. I'm praying that he calm your symptoms and clean your body completely so you feel better and whole as soon as possible.

    And as previously stated, you certainly want to talk w/the doc who prescribed them......I hear cold turkey can be VERY difficult on the body, you just want to be sure your under the doc's care as you go completely off them.

    Hugs and Prayers,

    ~Melanie~
  • SoupNazi
    SoupNazi Posts: 4,229 Member
    SARGE!!!:brokenheart:

    I'm so glad you have Manda.

    You can beat this bro. You have my prayers. (Manda too:heart: )
  • maestrachistosa
    maestrachistosa Posts: 202 Member
    Fellow Lexapro taker here...I have heard that withdrawal symptoms are "flu-like", but had no idea they were so severe!

    I am so sorry that you are going through such unpleasantness. It sounds like you were responsibly tapering off too...so I too, would suggest mentioning the withdrawal symptoms to you doctor...just to make sure everything is going as it should. In the meantime...I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Glad you've got Manda there to help you through!
  • BreaNix
    BreaNix Posts: 205 Member
    Sorry you both have to go through this. I will be thinking of you both and sending good vibes your way.
    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    Hey wasn't there a Star Trek kinda like this?
  • TNTPete
    TNTPete Posts: 701 Member
    prayers your way -- you will get through this. <2weeks to go (easier said then done)
  • stschulz
    stschulz Posts: 340
    I'm sorry you have to go through all this. Obviously you feel as if you can live without that medication and the fact how severe the withdrawal is also shows you what it really does to your body. I myself hate being dependent on medication, I only take BP medicine.

    You are both in my prayers and I hope you make it through these rough times well.
  • sunbug501
    sunbug501 Posts: 180
    You and Manda are definitely in my prayers J. I am sorry that you are feeling so much pain. My heart goes out to you both! Trust in God as I know you will and he will give you the strength you need to push through the pain.

    Isn't it amazing to be at the point now in life where you don't need it anymore though?! God has truly blessed you for staying true to Him!!!

    Hugs!
    Jen
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    Hey everyone, I just want to thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. Each and everyone of you are amazing people. I just don't have the words to describe how blessed I am to know you.

    I am feeling somewhat better this morning. I'm not getting the crazy chills and random 'lightning' coursing through me like I was last night. My body is totally exhausted though. It's like my nervous system is competely freaked out, and my body is at a loss for what to do about it. Hopefully yesterday was the worst of it. The really weird thing is how vivid my dreams were last night. I don't remember really dreaming for the last year of my life, so it's odd to wake and actually remember my dreams. Something I have learned from my dreams? I'm a weirdo. Oh well.

    Manda (:heart::heart: :heart: ) has continued to be an amazing source of strength. She has no idea how much help she has been, even just sitting next to me, while I tremor, worry consuming those beautiful eyes of hers. If anything, she has granted me the resolve to make it through this, simply because I don't want her to be sad. It breaks my heart to see her like that. :brokenheart: She's too beautiful to have heartache in her eyes (all the while showing just how beautiful she is on the inside to care so deeply for me....I *so* don't deserve it....)

    Anyway, I love you all dearly. Thanks so much for caring enough to take a moment to pray or even just send a little love my way. Ya'll will never know how much it's helped.

    Hugs to all.

    -Jeremy:heart:
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    Love the new photos of you guys, too! You look so happy and content--

    date.gif
  • cwilson715
    cwilson715 Posts: 130
    Hey~ I just got off effexor xr for anxiety after having my daughter and because of my old job. I would have anxiety attacks, on my way to work, at work and I would be fine until I thought about going back to work. I stopped working in March of this year and I decided to come off the effexor about the beggining of April lowering my dose, then after 3 weeks took it everyother day. That seemed worse to me I would feel good one day and then next be dizzy, headaches, I was afraid to be alone at home with my daughter because I was afraid was going to pass out or fall and she would be alone. I just stopped taking the effexor on May 2nd and the withdrawl effects stayed with me till the 1st of June. I feel 100% not but I don't ever want to go on medication like that agian. If you can try doing yoga or meditating. I am not huge on it but it helped.

    Good Luck!

    remember you are not alone in this.:flowerforyou:
  • pecksun8
    pecksun8 Posts: 570
    You will have side effects after getting off lexapro, I had really bad headaches after getting off last year, and then I was fine, with just a few light headed episodes. I did have a few really bad cases of being so light headed that I had to leave work and just go lay down for the day, but it will come out of your system.
    Just remember that you will slip back into depression on occasion. I can't warn people enough to find someone to talk too after they get off an anti depressant.
    One thing that works for me when I do find myself slipping back down into depression, is to give myself one full day of beat-down, low-down, dirty, mean, your-no-good kind of talk to the utmost extreme condition, to myself and most of the time, by the end of the day, I realize just how twisted my thoughts used to be. You really need to over-exagerate your nagging depressive thoughts when you get like this, because sometimes it can be funny when you realize just how much you can skew how your thinking, and then you feel better the next day.
    But you only allow yourself one day of rock bottom overly depressive thoughts, the next day you have to get up and get back on schedule.

    Well, I hope this works for you like it does for me. And good luck with staying off of medication. Please make sure that you have people to tallk to. Stimulation of the brain is key to staying off anti depressants.
    Congrats for getting to where you are at, it's hard, but remember no one can live your life but you, you pay all the bills and wear out your own shoes, so keep your head up and live your life the way you want to live it, it's the only one you've got!
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