I have serious problems with my mom

Don't trip chocolate chip, be yourself, those who matter don't mind, and those who mind DON'T MATTER.

Awe, this was cute.

I was having similar problems. While they aren't totally fixed, I had to dig deep into the problem so I was able to stop eating all of the junk when I got upset. You have to look at her as someone who is negative, not as your mother. So many people don't get it because they don't have toxic parents. What I had to do was first limit the amount of information you give because that is just ammo for her to talk about you to others. You have to also decide if you want to cut down or completely stop communications with her. If you feel that you can't, then you'll have to tell her straight out it isn't okay what she is doing.

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First let me start by saying I am a 50 year old woman who still has issues with my negative mother who takes every opprotunity to play her 4 children against each other. Several years ago I realized (with much anxiety) that I was a grown up woman with a comfortable home, a husband who loves me for me and for who I AM, two amazing children that I stayed home to raise (one of my proudest accomplishments) and a successful career. And I achieved all of that inspite of her backstabbing, betrayal and negativity.

I dug in, I drew boundary lines and I cut her out pretty much completely. I occasionally let her back into my life little by little until she tries to cross those boundaries yet again. Then I make the decision to pull back. I also went to counselling and worked on me because I am the only one I can control. I grew strong and proud and realized that what I've always taught my kids now applied to me. That was "Nobody gets to treat you that way unless you let them. Even family" and "Be very careful whose opinions you let matter."

Good luck with your journey. I wish you a strong, healthy future.

Brilliant!

I divorced my family... i still love and treasure my memories from my dad, but my stepmother sees me as an evil interloper (even 30 years later)
so , the harsh words, if youre in a situation where you cannot leave, do what i did, in one week, i wrote everything she said to me .. and then i made a copy and gave it to both of them , it fixed it for a little while ...
but eventually it got bad again, to the point where she would not let him attend my wedding nor walk me down the aisle, or she was going to divorce him...

so i said, ok if thats how its going to be, then youre right, immediate family first, i have never looked back , the only contact we have is through facebook.
thats it.

Put some distance between her and you, no forwarding address and don't give her your phone number.

Life is too short to allow negative people to suck the joy out of it.

I can honestly say that I struggle with my mother as well. I'm 23 and not dependent on her for anything other than an occasional babysitter. One of my problems was that I talked to her too much about my life and what went on. She's bad enough without extra information, but by telling her all about things, I was only adding fuel to the fire. We also lived VERY close... same apartment complex for a year. It had it's perks, but it caused me to be deeply affected by her behavior because I was around it all the time. I have since moved, and moved on. If she wants to continue living emotionally unhealthy and wants to push her negativity onto others, at least I won't be one of the people that has to deal with it. Now, I invite her over when I want to see her or call her if I want to stop by. The distance helped to put the power back into my hands. When she starts getting out of line, I distance myself again. Over time, if you don't do something about this calmly, if you're anything like me, you run the risk of blowing up on her. In my situation, I feel that she gave birth to me, she took care of me, she has done a lot for me. I don't want to treat her the same way she treats me, even though she's being unfair. I would rather just move on with my life and be happy.

Don't let someone else's negativity bring you down, regardless of who it is. Good luck!

I have cut my mom out of my life for periods of time. You are not obligated to be anyone's punching bag. As for tuning it out. I've found that nearly impossible, because someone that close to you really knows how to get to you. If you can't shut her out altogether, minimize contact, brace yourself for the worst, and have a good friend to vent with afterwards. Mother daughter relationships can be very difficult.

My mom has been the same way over the years. I am her youngest and I never had a great relationship with her growing up. She was never the type of person you could talk to or have a serious conversation with and get the comforting advice like you should get from a mother. If I did have a conversation with her, she would blow it way out of proportion and then blab it to anyone who would listen. I had my first child at 16 and moved out of the house at 19. During my late teens through my mid 20's she was extremely critical of everything I did from how clean my house was to parenting my children. I think in her mind this was her way of supporting me but instead it felt like she was always pointing out what I was doing wrong. She would always drop in without calling first, which I hate, and if she would call and I wasn't home, she would leave a message and then turn around and call my cell. She would do this back and forth starting every hour reducing it little by little until if I ignored it long enough it would get to be a phone call every 5 minutes by the end of that same day. It got to be to the point that I felt like I was being stalked by my own mother. I never said too much about it, out of respect for my elders, until 4 or 5 years ago the flu had run through my house so during that week I didn't talk really to anyone outside my house. My mom couldn't reach me for about 1 or 2 days, because I was sick and she decided to just drop in, which I hate and I finally had had enough and blew up at her. I reamed her up one side and then down another about everything. Let's just say she is very careful about everything she says to me now and about calling before she shows up. I'm not saying that you should blow up at your mother like I did,but you really need to try to tell her that you don't like how she is treating you and that if something doesn't change, it may seriously damage your relationship to the point that you can never repair it.

This was me a few months ago since then I have removed her from my life completely and now I am finally able to start loosing weight without any negative comments to bring me crashing back down again :-)