I have serious problems with my mom

Put some distance between her and you, no forwarding address and don't give her your phone number.

Life is too short to allow negative people to suck the joy out of it.

I can honestly say that I struggle with my mother as well. I'm 23 and not dependent on her for anything other than an occasional babysitter. One of my problems was that I talked to her too much about my life and what went on. She's bad enough without extra information, but by telling her all about things, I was only adding fuel to the fire. We also lived VERY close... same apartment complex for a year. It had it's perks, but it caused me to be deeply affected by her behavior because I was around it all the time. I have since moved, and moved on. If she wants to continue living emotionally unhealthy and wants to push her negativity onto others, at least I won't be one of the people that has to deal with it. Now, I invite her over when I want to see her or call her if I want to stop by. The distance helped to put the power back into my hands. When she starts getting out of line, I distance myself again. Over time, if you don't do something about this calmly, if you're anything like me, you run the risk of blowing up on her. In my situation, I feel that she gave birth to me, she took care of me, she has done a lot for me. I don't want to treat her the same way she treats me, even though she's being unfair. I would rather just move on with my life and be happy.

Don't let someone else's negativity bring you down, regardless of who it is. Good luck!

I have cut my mom out of my life for periods of time. You are not obligated to be anyone's punching bag. As for tuning it out. I've found that nearly impossible, because someone that close to you really knows how to get to you. If you can't shut her out altogether, minimize contact, brace yourself for the worst, and have a good friend to vent with afterwards. Mother daughter relationships can be very difficult.

My mom has been the same way over the years. I am her youngest and I never had a great relationship with her growing up. She was never the type of person you could talk to or have a serious conversation with and get the comforting advice like you should get from a mother. If I did have a conversation with her, she would blow it way out of proportion and then blab it to anyone who would listen. I had my first child at 16 and moved out of the house at 19. During my late teens through my mid 20's she was extremely critical of everything I did from how clean my house was to parenting my children. I think in her mind this was her way of supporting me but instead it felt like she was always pointing out what I was doing wrong. She would always drop in without calling first, which I hate, and if she would call and I wasn't home, she would leave a message and then turn around and call my cell. She would do this back and forth starting every hour reducing it little by little until if I ignored it long enough it would get to be a phone call every 5 minutes by the end of that same day. It got to be to the point that I felt like I was being stalked by my own mother. I never said too much about it, out of respect for my elders, until 4 or 5 years ago the flu had run through my house so during that week I didn't talk really to anyone outside my house. My mom couldn't reach me for about 1 or 2 days, because I was sick and she decided to just drop in, which I hate and I finally had had enough and blew up at her. I reamed her up one side and then down another about everything. Let's just say she is very careful about everything she says to me now and about calling before she shows up. I'm not saying that you should blow up at your mother like I did,but you really need to try to tell her that you don't like how she is treating you and that if something doesn't change, it may seriously damage your relationship to the point that you can never repair it.

This was me a few months ago since then I have removed her from my life completely and now I am finally able to start loosing weight without any negative comments to bring me crashing back down again :-)

My mother does the same thing daily... lol. The best way to deal with it is picture yourself at your goal and know that when you reach it your gonna look way hotter and feel a lot healthier... It always makes me smile

If she is more toxic than loving, distance yourself as much as you need to to be healthy. I had to do that. Sometimes you just need to cut slingload to save yourself.

I have a Mother like that - she is not and does not deserve to be my mum.

I put up with her until i became a mum myself and knew i could not have her round my kids so I upped an moved 300 miles away.

We talk occasionally on the phone - it will be good for a few months and then she will throw a hissy fit as she is not the centre of universe and we stop talking again. She makes all the calls as I've spent 35 years trying to get her to be my mum but no longer have the time or energy to indulge her.

My sister moved over a year ago and I dont think she even knows which town she has moved to or has a phone number as my sister cant stand her.

Your mother has left a hole in your heart that needs to be filled.

You're cute; you should find a man who loves you but has a mean streak, so that the puzzle piece fits that hole.

The good thing about being a grown child is you can get away. She has no power to stop you. If you choose to stay in contact with her,set very clear boundaries. Say no,in YOUR actions.

Spend time with people who love you,do what makes you feel nourished and feeds your soul.

You are special. Do not listen to what she says or pay any attention.

Do not make her issues yours.

Separate yourself from her. You are your own person.
See all that is good in you. Re affirm all that is positive in your life.

No one,not even her,has the right to make you feel less than whole.
Good luck. Speaking from experience. I know it's harder than it looks.

Maybe she's just jealous that she isn't as beautiful as the girl she pushed out of her?

Sometimes it is necessary to turn the tables. My mother would criticize everything I did, said, wore etc. So one day every time she said something negative about what I was doing, I told her I learned from the best. She taught me everything I know. I told her she had me and she raised me. Where else would I have learned these things except from her. It took some time and discipline on my part to remember to say that, but soon she got the message. Now, obviously, there are things that I do that I picked up elsewhere. When I do one of those and we are with other people she will instantly retort that she didn't teach me that.

Perhaps you are exaggerating a little to yourself and on here, and maybe you don't want to cut her out completely. I would just greatly reduce the amount of contact you have with her until she straightens out her issues.

This really irritates me. Why because I have a crazy mean mother. She has a good heart but damn she can just really make me so mad and sad. People would say it was not that bad. Well one day she called me cause my shoes..yes shoes were in the way and she could not get in the closet. I put her on speaker so my friend could hear. She could not believe the **** that came out of her mouth. It is not a joke. Some mothers are just down right ugly. Please don't belittle the OP.

Just the other day my mother told me she wished she gave me up for adoption. I am 45 years old. Talk about BS. But I also reminded her that I am the one who will cut you to the core and not worry about what I say. I will no longer take her Emotional Abuse. I have learned to just get up and leave. I have learned that she is so unhappy in her life that she wants to make mine that way too.

ignorance is bliss. Just ignore the *****! She is going to drag you down. Plus, people are always killed by kindness.

I came a long way when I realized people can never be who we want them to be - they can only be who they are. I can't change someone else. All I can do is change me and how I react to others. If your mom chooses not to support you, that is really sad, but it is who she is. You can't change that. All you can do is focus on you. When she begins with the negative talk, maybe you can just push back your shoulders, look her in the eye and say, "It sounds like you have a lot of hurt and resentment about the way I have lived my life. I am moving forward. I would love if you joined me and supported me, but if you can't, I understand. You were the best mom you could be. I am now trying to be the person I can be. If you continue to talk negatively to me, I am just going to politely end the conversation, hang up or walk away." And then do it.