Your S/O said what?!
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There's a context for everything, and an appropriate way to have a discussion about health and well being. I know my husband doesn't expect me to be the 12 year old he met, or the 16 year old he fell in love with, or the 24 year old he reconnected with, or the 29 year old he married, or the 31 year old who had his son . . . he also doesn't expect me to stop caring about my health and becoming twice the woman any of those women were (and trust me, all of those people looked very different naked). We discuss weight in terms of health, self awareness, and self confidence, and our sex life. So, yes, my husband and I can talk about weight, but we do not walk around insulting each other . . . there's a big difference between saying "honey, what's wrong, you really aren't staying healthy" and saying "dude, you're a *kitten* fat *kitten*."0
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Men of the world, learn this lesson:
You can never satisfy a woman. She asks you a question, you lie and you're a liar and untrustworthy (what else might he lie about!?!?!?!?)
Tell the truth and you're being mean and crushing their feelings/self-esteem.
My advice is to go gay. Come sign up today at: www.limpwrists4all.com
OMG yes. You can never please most women because we're soooo emotional & read into everything. If my man says I have a fat *kitten*, I go buy clothes because I feel AMAZING. A big butt is a win. If he says that I need to lose a little weight, I'm just glad that he NOTICED! So many men just act like women are objects to have sex with & don't realize or notice the things in her life that are making her gain/lose weight.
In no way am I condoning men that are abusive or belittling, but a lot of time, women are way too sensitive/emotional. We post "my man said I'm fat and looked at me like he was disgusted" and everyone on the internet starts posting man-bashing posts, but what her husband really said was "hey baby, are you okay? I noticed you're gaining a bit." in his mind, he's just trying to be sweet & wants to help her through it. It's a shame how we misconstrue simple conversations.
My advice: develop a thicker skin & stop thinking that your man is against you. He loves you. And guaranteed that he wants to hit it more than he wants to belittle you.0 -
I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
My god you are reasonable. :flowerforyou:
agreed! with both of the above!
^ This. My wife still teases me for how delusional I got when I was fat. I'm quite thankful she was honest enough to point out that I was fat. You shouldn't have to lie to your spouse.0 -
My fiancé supports me as well, which I love! But, if he were to tell me, "You need to lose weight" with no regard to my feelings on what he just said, there'd be a problem. Obviously, if you're fat, you're fat and it shows they care if they do bring it up, but if they're emotionally and mentally abusive about it, they need to be gone! I read a post of woman who is around 100lbs, about 5'2" and her fiancé told her she needed to lose - really?!0
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Men of the world, learn this lesson:
You can never satisfy a woman. She asks you a question, you lie and you're a liar and untrustworthy (what else might he lie about!?!?!?!?)
Tell the truth and you're being mean and crushing their feelings/self-esteem.
My advice is to go gay. Come sign up today at: www.limpwrists4all.com
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
if i were obese/overweight i would hope my so cares enough about my health and our future together to say something to me, as long as it isn't rude or offensive then what the hell is the problem. i think those who are overweight do need a wakeup call and need to start caring more about themselves and their health, because it doesn't only affect them. it affect their loved ones as well.0
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I think I'm one of the lucky ones. My boyfriend is actually really supportive of me and I believe he'd love every bit of me, even if I weighed twice the amount I do now. This morning I was feeling pretty discouraged about my plateau and he knows how frustrated I was. I told him I didn't even feel like working out because I didn't have the energy. The conversation went as follows:
Me: I feel like *kitten*.
Him: You look like sexy.0 -
All men are Satans minions and all women are Mother Theresa0
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I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
My god you are reasonable. :flowerforyou:
agreed! with both of the above!
Yep.
OP: I know the thread you are referring to. Context is very very relevant.0 -
Men of the world, learn this lesson:
You can never satisfy a woman. She asks you a question, you lie and you're a liar and untrustworthy (what else might he lie about!?!?!?!?)
Tell the truth and you're being mean and crushing their feelings/self-esteem.
My advice is to go gay. Come sign up today at: www.limpwrists4all.com
Methinks someone has an ulterior motive!0 -
I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
Shhhhhhhh. You know that honesty and telling it straight is mostly frowned upon in these forums. Stop rocking the boat!0 -
I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
My god you are reasonable. :flowerforyou:
Clearly she doesn't belong here. :laugh:0 -
My fiancé supports me as well, which I love! But, if he were to tell me, "You need to lose weight" with no regard to my feelings on what he just said, there'd be a problem. Obviously, if you're fat, you're fat and it shows they care if they do bring it up, but if they're emotionally and mentally abusive about it, they need to be gone! I read a post of woman who is around 100lbs, about 5'2" and her fiancé told her she needed to lose - really?!
I read the same post and I was floored. If that's fat, I'm a f*cking elephant...that will squish that little man and his little...opinion.0 -
My DH had a real go at me once: poking my fat bits and insulting me (for a little context, I was still comfortably within a healthy BMI).
I lost weight in the hope he would be nicer to me. He wasn't, so I thought 'Sod this!'and regained the weight.
The last time I lost weight, I did it for me and it stayed off.
However, leaving someone because they were mean about one thing once seems ridiculous to me. Whatever happened to 'for better, for worse'?0 -
I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
Shhhhhhhh. You know that honesty and telling it straight is mostly frowned upon in these forums. Stop rocking the boat!
Crap. What I meant to say is "Yeah! How dare he say that! So what if I'd gotten heavy, he should have told me I was lovely no matter what and that rainbows shoot outta my...eyes. We should just break up."
But seriously: In the case of the 100lb woman no, that's not 'supportive' and it seems mean, but whose the say what's really going on. Maybe she's small but out of shape. Maybe that's the fifth time she's asked today and he tripped up. Maybe what he really said was "Honey, if you aren't happy with yourself maybe you should start doing something." and she flipped her lid. Or maybe he's a D-bag and wants to break down her self-esteem. I have no clue.
But in general I don't believe a person who professes to love you/married you is going to try to hurt you by telling you you've put on weight. They may not say it kindly but they probably have good intentions.0 -
Have read posts and most make some sense. My take,,,,,,if one asks the significant other, then don't be offended; however, unsolicited comments about weight or any other negative physical trait are not fair play in any relationship0
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Men of the world, learn this lesson:
You can never satisfy a woman. She asks you a question, you lie and you're a liar and untrustworthy (what else might he lie about!?!?!?!?)
Tell the truth and you're being mean and crushing their feelings/self-esteem.
My advice is to go gay. Come sign up today at: www.limpwrists4all.com
This is why we're friends.
Actually if I did have a significant other I'd rely on her to give me direct and honest information. Whether it be about weight loss, lack of motivation at my job , or telling socially inappropriate jokes at parties.
But then again I get up every morning and put on my big boy pants so these things don't really bother me.0 -
I think there is a huge difference between gently suggesting that your S/O lose weight, and bordering on verbal abuse.
I agree with all the ladies on here who have stated that they asked their husbands if they were getting fat, and the husbands said yes, and there's nothing wrong with that because they were being honest. I also don't think there's anything wrong with "Honey, I've been meaning to talk to you about this... you've put on some weight recently and I feel that our physical relationship is suffering because of it. Would you like to start going to the gym with me?" Or something of that nature. Relationships are about honesty and communication. If a guy has become genuinely uncomfortable with his S/O's weight, there's nothing wrong with him telling her so. I would hope that I could do the same to my boyfriend if it got to that point.
That, of course, is WAY different than saying to a woman "You're fat/ugly" or "You need to lose weight" or "you look like a whale." Those things are hurtful and when said enough/with the right tone, can definitely constitute emotional abuse. Statements like those, especially when completely uncalled for, do nothing except make a woman feel down about herself and ruin herself esteem. Statements like those also usually lead to much harsher statements and even physical abuse in some cases. If a guy starts talking to you like that, get out.
Basically, men: think before you speak. If it would hurt you if your wife said it to you, you probably shouldn't say it to her. Treat others as you'd like to be treated. Golden rule. It's not that hard, really.0 -
My s/o told me that he loves me the way I am, will support me to lose weight if I want to, but would prefer I didn't get below a size 14 because he likes my... (and here he starts squishing my tummy going "woob woob woob"). Bless him.0
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He said, "Come here my little **** so I can **** your **** while we **** in the ****."
What, is this not a "Your S/O said what?" thread?0
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