RANT. Everyones A Weight Loss Expert
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I hate the guilt trip when I'm having a cheat day or meal around someone who know's I'm trying to lose weight. There's always the comments "you're eating THAT while on a diet?!" or "Oh, well are you still trying to lose weight?" and "That's not very healthy for you!" etc.
First of all, it's not a "diet". It's what I'm trying to train my body/mind to learn for the rest of my life. I'm allowed to indulge on occasion. My meals are normally healthier than the person who's making the comments, so who are they to judge what I eat. Second, it's no one's business but my own.0 -
I think there are lot of people out there who've never counted calories (maybe they've tried to lose weight with other types of plans or just by eating "healthy") so they have little to no concept how many calories are in certain foods, especially at sit-down restaurants. They probably don't realize there are some burgers -- just the burger, no fries -- that have almost as many calories as you should eat in a day.0
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For me i guess the fact that i have to be gluten free & i have to watch my blood sugar helps. I never get presser to eat stuff because i can get really sick for eating the wrong food. If people take offence i'm sorry but you have to take care of your self first.
You did the right thing don't worry about what other people think :flowerforyou:0 -
I get lots of "advice" too from well-meaning folks. I just smile and thank them. Clearly, what I'm doing is working so I'm not looking for carb-cutting, fat flushing, juicing or shake products or advice. LOL
FWIW, take what they say with the love with which it is meant and just let it go. Enjoy them while you have them. I say that because I truly adored my mother-in-law (who was so so awesome), and she's gone now. I miss her every single day.0 -
I hear you. At first I used to respond with "Well, here's what I'm doing" but they'd argue with me. So I let them eat their meals with absolutely no fat, watch them longingly eye the dessert I order, all the while I'm slimming down and they are continuing to gain.
The whole 'smile and nod' thing works really, really well.0 -
I am also frustrated everyone knows what is best for me. My husband say "get lapband surgery", my sister says drink cherry juice and walk, my fitness instructor screams at the top of her lungs "go,go,go". My daughter says "says eat this, don't eat that". With all of this un-wanted advice I emotional eat because I feel I can't do everything so I will do nothing. NOT anymore I have put in my imaginary ear plugs and am doing the best I can today and hopefully do better tomorrow.0
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Not much you can do or say in response to telling you that you need fat when you're clearly getting it from half a hamburger. Just ignore it or change the subject. I hate talking about fitness and exercise with friends as I don't want to make people who do absolutely nothing feel bad, but at the same time I don't need their input either. It's about as much fun as talking about religion or politics.
exactly. it wasn't like i was eating a handful of carrots for dinner. half of that burger alone was almost 400 calories!! :noway:
Plus, damn near every restaurant serves half-pound burgers! I couldn't eat that much even if I wasn't on a diet. When I make a burger at home they're only about 1/4 pound. LOL.0 -
I find that success usually shuts these people up. Keep doing what you're doing and let them see the results for themselves.0
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The first sign people get when I'm losing weight in real life is that my pants stop fitting. Last time I heard any "expert" nitpicking was from my mom back when my dad was watching what he ate because he was spending more time around her (and getting more nitpicking as well)... our response was to start talking about how much portion sizes have shifted since he was in college. Five minutes in, she suddenly wanted to talk about how the cat's vet bill was going to get paid.0
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I think I should be thankful for all the very supportive people around me...O_o I have yet to have anything but encouraging words and actions tossed my way. I hope for that for all of you!0
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I went to dinner at PF Changs once. I attempted to order something off of the gluten free menu. The *kitten* server refused to let me order it because he told me that I didnt need it. Yes there was a short and awkward discussion about it. Luckily I was out with 5-6 other associates and didnt want any problems.
(sans debate over gluten free) Its irrelevant whether I needed it or not. Im a frigging paying customer and its on the menu. Bring it to me now before I Ginsu your face! His tip was $0 /ENDRANT :drinker:
OMG This has me clutching my invisible pearls. I have celiac disease so I HAVE to order off the gluten free menu where ever I go. Granted, I'm not as in shape as you, but I can't imagine being told I *can't* order off the gluten free menu because I don't need it. WTF? But I'm sure that wasn't the only way he sucked as a server.
I know it's a little underhanded, but sometimes I tell servers I have a wheat allergy. Whenever they hear "allergy" they perk up because they don't want to get sued or have someone going in to anaphylaxis in their dining room.0 -
I find that success usually shuts these people up. Keep doing what you're doing and let them see the results for themselves.
I wish this was true but it seems like the more I lose, the more people come out of the woodwork and put in their 2 cents worth. I was eating something at work and a coworker said, "Should you be eating that?" I said "Yes". "Aren't you supposed to be on a diet?" I said, "No". Then he proceeded to tell me what I should be eating. I just let it go in one ear and out the other. Um... did you not notice I lost over 50lbs without your help?
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The next time someone butts in with unwanted advice turn to them and say (in as serious of a voice as you can muster)
"have I ever told you about my friend? My friend named Jesus? Let me tell you all about my walk with the lord and how glorious your life can be if you walked with us as well"
Make 'em as uncomfortable as you are. Guarantee they wont do it again.
(as a side note, Im very religious and I even get uncomfortable when someone tries to talk to me about religion).0 -
I went to dinner at PF Changs once. I attempted to order something off of the gluten free menu. The *kitten* server refused to let me order it because he told me that I didnt need it. Yes there was a short and awkward discussion about it. Luckily I was out with 5-6 other associates and didnt want any problems.
(sans debate over gluten free) Its irrelevant whether I needed it or not. Im a frigging paying customer and its on the menu. Bring it to me now before I Ginsu your face! His tip was $0 /ENDRANT :drinker:
OMG This has me clutching my invisible pearls. I have celiac disease so I HAVE to order off the gluten free menu where ever I go. Granted, I'm not as in shape as you, but I can't imagine being told I *can't* order off the gluten free menu because I don't need it. WTF? But I'm sure that wasn't the only way he sucked as a server.
I know it's a little underhanded, but sometimes I tell servers I have a wheat allergy. Whenever they hear "allergy" they perk up because they don't want to get sued or have someone going in to anaphylaxis in their dining room.
My daughter has celiacs as well, and we do the "wheat allergy" as well. technically you aren't lying....just stating the fact that you cant eat wheat in a more alarming manner, loL! Whatever it takes to prevent being poisoned!0 -
Definitely know what you mean :explode: :explode:
..but I guess just don't let them get to you. It's hard to follow your plan when you've got people around you saying stuff like
"just one bite!" (which then turns into 20 'bites')
"gain some weight!" (when you just lost 30lbs)
"are you sure your not anorexic" & *from my mother!* "I hope your not bulimic" (came out of nowhere)
1) It hurts. People really don't know what it's like to struggle through a weight loss & they are undermining everything you've worked for.
2) It's none of their business, especially when your doing the right thing by being healthier!
3) Again, don't let it get to you! Stick it out and be a healthy YOU.
:drinker: :drinker:
Oh my goodness! Nail on the head with my #1 annoyance: those who think SELF CONTROL equates an eating disorder. Just because you scarfed a whole mega burger and I didn't, and I made you feel bad about your choices through no fault of my own doesn't mean you need to accuse me of having an eating disorder. Yes, I've lost A LOT of weight, but I'm still overweight for Pete's sake!
eta: wording was f'd up
Yes, points 1 & 2 are spot on. I struggle with number 3. I really try, but sometimes it gets to me, and I lose my cool. There's been times I've said "shut up and leave me alone. Mind your own business" This is usually followed by awkward silence. I must try harder to control myself0 -
I guess you could have helpful coworkers like I do. One day we were having cake for someone's birthday. I knew I was working that afternoon and could fit the cake into my calories for the day, so when they asked if I wanted a slice, I said yes. The person cutting the cake cut my slice and then proceeded to scrape all of the frosting off because she thought I didn't need it. I told her to put my damn frosting BACK ON MY CAKE! LOL
Whats the point of cake if there is no frosting?!? why even bother with it at that point (IMO the frosting is the best part!).0 -
Yesterday a few of us went out for supper. I ordered a burger & fries , cut the burger & half and only ate half of it. (because i knew how many calories were in it & planned what i was going to eat before going out) I was trying to eat slowly, giving myself time to enjoy the treat & give myself time to feel full. I was asked "aren't you going to eat" & I replied that I was trying not to eat the whole serving on my plate. Then I get a "your body needs fats, cause if not anything that you will eat is going to turn into fat if you don't get enough" :laugh: It annoys the hell out of me how everyone is a "weight loss expert". By cutting that burger in half I cut my calories in half & was still able to enjoy a treat within my calories... I wasn't trying to starve myself! Everyone needs to stick they're nose in & tell me what I should & shouldn't do. & then have the guts to ask me how much I ate today like I'm some kind of anorexic. I'm a grown *kitten* woman, I can eat what I want. I am in no way starving myself, I'm just learning & teaching myself moderation.. the thing I lacked before getting fat. I really don't think people realize how many calories they are suppose to have a day & how many calories are in a meal. If you don't know everything ,stop acting like it!! :explode:
It's half true, though. Our bodies need fat, especiallly our brain. Plus, FAT TASTES SO GOOD HAHAHA.
As long as you know your caloric range then eat on sista, lol.0
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