"The Time to Make Fun of the Fat Girl...

NathanFronk
NathanFronk Posts: 137 Member
in Motivation and Support
...is not at the gym."

I wonder if some people don't start working out because they are embarrassed, that they are afraid of what people think of them when they are at a gym surrounded by people that have been there for years.

I want to say that in my experience, everyone at the gym is supportive and glad you are there. They may think, "that person has a long way to go." True, those thoughts happen, but that observation is quickly overtaken a thousand-fold by thoughts like, "I am happy they are here. I don't want to seem rude by saying on day 30 that I have noticed they are here nearly every day, and good job." Instead, I just think to myself that, "if they ever need help and I am asked, I will help. If they ever need support, I will be not just be supportive, but a fan."

Fitness is such a universally difficult thing that, I think, the one place you are free from mean critiques is in the gym, or walking/running outside. Everyone is pulling for you in these places. Everyone.
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Replies

  • rajathwalharris
    rajathwalharris Posts: 101
    Could not have said it better myself!! We are all there for a common purpose, to get fit and healthy and meet our goals....just like here on MFP.
    Thanks for this post, it helps!
  • NathanFronk
    NathanFronk Posts: 137 Member
    Could not have said it better myself!! We are all there for a common purpose, to get fit and healthy and meet our goals....just like here on MFP.
    Thanks for this post, it helps!
    I just hope the majority of people agree and believe.
  • CarlaRG
    CarlaRG Posts: 264
    That's why I didn't go for a long time...I knew that I knew nothing about the machines and that I would be winded after 5 minutes on the treadmill. It just so happened that my brother (who is a trainer) was in town when I had my "Oh my god I'm FAT" moment. He literally took me to the gym every day for a week and showed me how to do everything. Because of him I went from a 16 to an 8 (and I cried in the dressing room when those 8's fit :smile: ) I don't know where I would be now had in not been there.
  • tlmcint
    tlmcint Posts: 74 Member
    well said and thank you for saying it. :)
  • NaomiJFoster
    NaomiJFoster Posts: 1,450 Member
    That was lovely.
  • nyrina4life
    nyrina4life Posts: 196 Member
    Being the 'obese' girl . . . I have had encouragement, and heartache. When I was younger, I went to one of the free gyms at Camp LeJeune (my dad was stationed there at the time...) and I experienced both sides of the coin. It was nice when the guys who do so much were nice to me, and encouraging but then there were the others who thought it was fun to undermine my attempt at a healthier me. They made me feel like I shouldn't exist.

    Flash forward to today, it still happens. Unfortunately I have noticed it more from the women at the gym who like to be mean. At least this time around, I have found a gym (finally) where I have only had one incident.

    People who are mean spirited, and feel the need to belittle, and discourage others have no idea how it will affect their 'target'. I will try my best not to let mean spirited folk get to me, and hey, to be honest I LIKE it when strangers notice I've been doing something religiously. It makes me feel more empowered.
  • NathanFronk
    NathanFronk Posts: 137 Member
    Being the 'obese' girl . . . I have had encouragement, and heartache. When I was younger, I went to one of the free gyms at Camp LeJeune (my dad was stationed there at the time...) and I experienced both sides of the coin. It was nice when the guys who do so much were nice to me, and encouraging but then there were the others who thought it was fun to undermine my attempt at a healthier me. They made me feel like I shouldn't exist.

    Flash forward to today, it still happens. Unfortunately I have noticed it more from the women at the gym who like to be mean. At least this time around, I have found a gym (finally) where I have only had one incident.

    People who are mean spirited, and feel the need to belittle, and discourage others have no idea how it will affect their 'target'. I will try my best not to let mean spirited folk get to me, and hey, to be honest I LIKE it when strangers notice I've been doing something religiously. It makes me feel more empowered.
    I agree. Women are always more hurtful :) But most people, even if they are skeptical will be in your corner so long as they see you are committed. To win the naysayers (the FEW) just go for a month. Really that's all it takes.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    The only people mean to me were my parents. I guess when I went to the gym or anywhere I just expected it. I guess if you come from a good caring family you are devastated how people treat you out in the world. I just went and did not pay any attention to the mean people. I was called short and dumpy, got calls on my answering machine asking how many sandwiches I was eating today, asked if I had fluid, and oh my what does the doctor say about you, called wide load and laughing, pinching my arms and saying oh my and many more. There are a lot of mean spirited people out there like my parents were, don't pay any attention and take care of yourself. I had to realize I am worth it and ya are also.
  • Raasy
    Raasy Posts: 972 Member
    Very well put NathanFronk.

    I too have noticed others heavier than I in the gym. I give them all the credit, help and advise (if asked) I can. I look at them with admiration and I notice when all of their hard work is working for them.
    This is a hard journey and I as well as many on here know how hard it it. I am in no position to make fun. I silently will these people on and hope they continue with their journey !!
  • strick1982
    strick1982 Posts: 75 Member
    Love this post.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    I wish I could say everyone was supportive, but it depends on the gym. It's the reason I chose the gym I go to now. We feel like family. Women with similar goals and aspirations and we honestly DO care about one another.

    But yes, I would not have gone to a gym without my husbands encouragement because I was completely afraid of judgement, not just because of my size, but because I didn't have a damn clue what I was doing. That's why it still sucks to see people taking videos of others at the gym and lulzing about how they're 'doing it wrong' or 'not lifting heavy enough' when it'd be nice to see the same video with people encouraging them and instructing them instead of mocking them.
  • sav3175
    sav3175 Posts: 47
    Anytime i see someone not in shape at the gym i think way to go they made the first step to a healtheir them i was in their shoes once i know how hard it can be i have a weird sense of pride for them and i dont even know them weird i know but thats how it is
  • pittbullgirl
    pittbullgirl Posts: 341 Member
    ...is not at the gym."

    I wonder if some people don't start working out because they are embarrassed, that they are afraid of what people think of them when they are at a gym surrounded by people that have been there for years.

    I want to say that in my experience, everyone at the gym is supportive and glad you are there. They may think, "that person has a long way to go." True, those thoughts happen, but that observation is quickly overtaken a thousand-fold by thoughts like, "I am happy they are here. I don't want to seem rude by saying on day 30 that I have noticed they are here nearly every day, and good job." Instead, I just think to myself that, "if they ever need help and I am asked, I will help. If they ever need support, I will be not just be supportive, but a fan."

    Fitness is such a universally difficult thing that, I think, the one place you are free from mean critiques is in the gym, or walking/running outside. Everyone is pulling for you in these places. Everyone.

    Seriously....I just fell in love with you a little bit here.:blushing:
  • gowrirao81
    gowrirao81 Posts: 139 Member
    ...is not at the gym."

    I wonder if some people don't start working out because they are embarrassed, that they are afraid of what people think of them when they are at a gym surrounded by people that have been there for years.

    I want to say that in my experience, everyone at the gym is supportive and glad you are there. They may think, "that person has a long way to go." True, those thoughts happen, but that observation is quickly overtaken a thousand-fold by thoughts like, "I am happy they are here. I don't want to seem rude by saying on day 30 that I have noticed they are here nearly every day, and good job." Instead, I just think to myself that, "if they ever need help and I am asked, I will help. If they ever need support, I will be not just be supportive, but a fan."

    Fitness is such a universally difficult thing that, I think, the one place you are free from mean critiques is in the gym, or walking/running outside. Everyone is pulling for you in these places. Everyone.

    Seriously....I just fell in love with you a little bit here.:blushing:

    Me too! :smile:
  • Tessyloowhoo
    Tessyloowhoo Posts: 504
    bump i like this guy
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    well said op i've notice this to. its inspiring to see the progressdown the road. i know when i first began i was thinking biggest loser screaming people but heck no known cares i got comments from both male and females at the gym on my progress
  • SRB8710
    SRB8710 Posts: 90
    Very well said!!! I ALWAYS give secret kudos when I see someone overweight working out. I always think it is great when I see people out walking or jogging too! I have been there and it is embarrassing but SO WORTH IT!! :):flowerforyou: Here you go OP
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I think this is a lovely sentiment and I hope it's what most people think.

    However every time there's one of those gym rant threads, I suspect that people are more judgmental than that. I've made my peace with the fact that I am likely being judged while I'm at the gym. I just try to remind myself that I shouldn't let other people control whether or not I reach my goals, and I go anyway.
  • MoRaeNew
    MoRaeNew Posts: 35 Member
    I have anxiety in general. I always went to a small 24 hour gym but waited until late so nobody would be there. When I moved the only thing close its a much larger LA FITNESS, I've always felt insecure like people see judging me so when my husband and I had passes to try it out and went, I couldn't even go inside. They've got large windows and you can see inside the gym. Seeing other people ment other people, just other people driving/ walking by would see me!! So we never went. Just this past month after already losing 30 lbs, I decided I needed a change from my trail walking and just dieting,a friend takes me into trying a class there with her.So I went, loved it and joined the gym that day. I've noticed how little I notice other people, so I assume nobody else pays me any attention. I can go alone to work out, but I can't bring myself to go to the class alone when she's not available, maybe one day I will get up the nerve. Thank you for this post.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I agree. Women are always more hurtful :)

    Wonderful OP! But, you are wrong about saying that women are always more hurtful.
  • NathanFronk
    NathanFronk Posts: 137 Member
    I think this is a lovely sentiment and I hope it's what most people think.

    However every time there's one of those gym rant threads, I suspect that people are more judgmental than that. I've made my peace with the fact that I am likely being judged while I'm at the gym. I just try to remind myself that I shouldn't let other people control whether or not I reach my goals, and I go anyway.
    This speaks to a great strength in you. Doing what you should/want regardless of what others are thinking. I believe everyone should be so strong, but for those that are not, we're rooting for you. -Signed, The Majority.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I think this is a lovely sentiment and I hope it's what most people think.

    However every time there's one of those gym rant threads, I suspect that people are more judgmental than that. I've made my peace with the fact that I am likely being judged while I'm at the gym. I just try to remind myself that I shouldn't let other people control whether or not I reach my goals, and I go anyway.
    This speaks to a great strength in you. Doing what you should/want regardless of what others are thinking. I believe everyone should be so strong, but for those that are not, we're rooting for you. -Signed, The Majority.

    :flowerforyou:
  • xjoseyx
    xjoseyx Posts: 74
    Great post. Im new to the area, hell, Im still fairly new to the country (USA) and I joined a gym close to my job. Im still shy when I go to workout. I just put my headphones on and ipod and just keep my head down when I work out. I'm definitely embarrassed about how I look when I work out but I need to work out to change how I look. Im sure people are watching me jiggle as I walk on the treadmills and cycle but I dont really care. My gym is run by a hospital so I get a free personal training session every 8 weeks to change up my routine and to show me how to use the machines. The thing Im more anxious about is approaching the free weights. I have some bicep curls with dumbells in my routine but for some reason Im embarrased to go over to the weight section and sometime skip that part of my workout all together :embarassed: :frown: :indifferent:
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    very nicely put.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Very well put. I don't think that there is ever a time to make fun of the fat girl because of her weight. Now if she is a terrible person who judges others, that is an entirely different matter. Just don't make fun of her weight.

    Men and women are equally cruel. It's a shame that people are so quick to judge others or deem themselves superior.
  • CrankMeUp
    CrankMeUp Posts: 2,860 Member
    I think this is a lovely sentiment and I hope it's what most people think.

    However every time there's one of those gym rant threads, I suspect that people are more judgmental than that. I've made my peace with the fact that I am likely being judged while I'm at the gym. I just try to remind myself that I shouldn't let other people control whether or not I reach my goals, and I go anyway.
    This speaks to a great strength in you. Doing what you should/want regardless of what others are thinking. I believe everyone should be so strong, but for those that are not, we're rooting for you. -Signed, The Majority.

    Is that anything like The Borg?
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    What about Fat guys? When is the appropriate time to make fun of them?
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I don't think that there is ever a time to make fun of the fat girl because of her weight.

    Agree!
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Great post. Im new to the area, hell, Im still fairly new to the country (USA) and I joined a gym close to my job. Im still shy when I go to workout. I just put my headphones on and ipod and just keep my head down when I work out. I'm definitely embarrassed about how I look when I work out but I need to work out to change how I look. Im sure people are watching me jiggle as I walk on the treadmills and cycle but I dont really care. My gym is run by a hospital so I get a free personal training session every 8 weeks to change up my routine and to show me how to use the machines. The thing Im more anxious about is approaching the free weights. I have some bicep curls with dumbells in my routine but for some reason Im embarrased to go over to the weight section and sometime skip that part of my workout all together :embarassed: :frown: :indifferent:

    I started out really nervous about venturing into free weights, but in 4 months of lifting no one has ever been anything but nice or indifferent to me. And the changes to my body have been worth getting over my fears. Just do it. Maybe get a friend to go with you. You won't regret it.
  • Jungle_Julie
    Jungle_Julie Posts: 11 Member
    I started hitting a local outdoor track when I was 220lbs. One day some fitness jocks were there and I could tell they were pointing at me as I struggled to keep up with my running intervals. But, I stayed on that there track for 45 mins and finished my workout and held my head up high.

    I wish that everyone was as supportive as you seem to be, But I believe that being fat is a choice that I made for myself and I wasn't about to let anyone interfere with my resolve to take control.


    I ended up losing 80lbs before I got pregnant (and now I'm working on my 30 lbs of baby weight). And I paid it forward by befriending an obese teenager who started running on the same outdoor track, even showed her my before pics. She ended up losing an astounding 130lbs..

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