How do you politley say "No" to family and friends?

I'm thinking there really is no polite way to go about it... Just tell them you want to lose weight and live healthier, and then when you stop eating before your stuffed, or you decline those sweets, it will eventually sink in that you're serious, and you may even unwillingly get them motivated, especially when they start seeing your results.

I'm having the same issue with clients. My work brings me into different homes and people will make me pies and stuff. Friday I arrived to a client's home and they had already cut me a slice of cheesecake, put it on a plate, and handed it to me with a fork and napkin!!! I didn't know what to do!!!

Why lie? Why not just be honest and say, "thank you, that looks delicious. Unfortunately I'm dieting right now and have to say no." That should be enough for your neighbor. As for your family, I had to had a frank conversation with one of my relatives and explain that I'm trying to lose weight and have to plan my meals carefully. When I explained what was going on and how important it was to me, they were happy to back off and try to be more supportive.

Sometimes I'm doing great with my goals and becuse I don't want to hurt their feelings end up wasting all my hard work. What do you tell your loved ones? I'm also new to the message boards and I'd like some friends. Thanks! *Sorry, I meant POLITELY.

I know it's hard, I'm sure everyone on this fourm has been in that situation. I heard the best way is to say "Sorry, I already ate"
On the subject, I need some fitness/healthy food eating friends, mind if I add you?:happy:

No Thanks! *grin* <

---

Like a boss. If they get hurt feelings, there isn't a whole lot you can do about that.

Or have a little, a few bites. Enjoy every second of it. There is absolutely no rule anywhere that requires you to eat everything you are served.

They can support you or get the in the backseat while you rock your weightloss.

skoopy is right. If you are in a gym or doing any regular working out they will eventually see for themselves. I also would have plan B AND C already in my head so I never get pushed into eating too much garbage again.

B might be where as soon as you come in you say to them, guys, I love your company and I love all of you but my nutritionist says that part of my new program of healthy eating is that if I am pushed to eat what is not on "his" recommended list I have to leave and go home. I hope you can all respect that. Now you put the blame on a non existant person.

PLAN C- As soon as you've had enough, you push yourself away from the table and pretend there is something you have to do that lasts until dinner is over such as answer "emergency" emails on your blackberry or whatever. Or

Calmly tell then every time they invite you over that youve made other dinner plans because your friends all eat the way you enjoy eating and to be honest, you enjoy eating that way as "its more fun>" (your crown seems to focus only on FUN.)

PLAN E-the direct appraoch. Tell them as soon as oyu walk in with a sweet voice that you are "hoping" you wont feel like anyone here is going to sabotage my food plan as it is now a way of life for me, not a temporary "thing' or diet, and if you guys cant, I have to take off. AND REALLY DO IT. FAST! I guarantee you this wont have to happen more than once. Thats the approach I would directly go to. Unless you really want to be brutally honest and ask them right at dinner, "I'm feeling uncomfortable whenever I eat here because it feels like my food wishes which are very important to me are not being respected." This way you arent blaming you are just saying how you feel. If they dont care how you feel, I have bad news. They aren't worth spending a minute with anyway....family or no!

I always just ask to a piece of cake, cookies ot whatever home with me to enjoy later! Let them know you are full and you will enjoy it later! It is a bit of a white lie but it works everytime!

Hi There: Talk about sabbataging your efforts to change.
You already answered your own question.
You said they were all over weight and they liked themselves that way. Obviously you don't.
Get Honest!
First with yourself: Are you happy being a doormat?
With them-No Thank you I'm working at losing weight and getting in shapeand I can no longer I can't accept them.
If they are offended-Too bad! This is your health and happiness you are talking about.
What if it was a needle of heroin? Would you keep accepting that?
Get a backbone or keep being a door mat!
Ouch! You'll never change until you get honest.

You can be supportive and not stuff yourself to the max, keep that in mind. And your friend or neighbor that brings cookies over and watches you eat them, you don't have to eat them.. it's not being forced. I understand what you mean with not having a good support system in your immediate grasp but stand your ground and don't let it get the best of you.

P.S. Feel free to add me.

"Sorry, I've had my calories for today."

Then don't eat what they offer.

It is *their* choice to offer.

It is *your* choice to politely decline, if you are at or over your calories for the day. Or it may be your choice to have a small portion within your allotted calories and then stop.

There are times when the best thing is to thank them for their kindness and then remove yourself from the situation. "Thank you so much for your wonderful hospitality. I have an early morning tomorrow and I need to head home. Thanks again! Bye!" . . . and leave without taking food (leftovers or whatever).

Be proud of your discipline in taking control of your own decisions and calories! It's a great thing! And you do get to actually *make choices* and own the credit for that. There is no shame in saying no to someone's food IF you simply say, "I can't tonight; I'm counting calories." Because, well -- you're counting calories in order to make your life and your health better and to look fantastic. Be proud of that!